I'd just like to say damn you all! I've got so much work to do and then you send in appreciative, often lyrical reviews and I find myself impelled to write another update and not get anything else done!


"Thank you."

He looked at her with a gentleness and sincerity that caught her by surprise.

"And my liver thanks you."

She laughed.

For a moment he hesitated, his face growing serious once more, as he pushed his dessert spoon around the empty plate.

"Ruth. I'm sorry for the way I've been behaving."

She opened her mouth to speak but didn't get the chance.

"I don't mean this last week …but in the time before. I acted poorly, childishly and I am sorry."

He kept watching her as he said it. He couldn't…wouldn't…mention the question in the churchyard. He knew he didn't need to.

"Forgiven?" he asked.

She shook her head.

A cloud shadowed his face.

"I don't believe you need forgiving, Harry."

"But I was boorish and irritable."

She raised her eyebrows.

"So probably no change there, then?" he smiled.

She laughed once more.

And there was something healing and soothing in her laugh. If he could he would carry it around with him to lighten the darkness that often consumed him.

"It's not all that bad is it, Ruth?" he said lightly, leaning back in his chair.

"What's that?"

"Living a little."

She smiled, "Better than a tin of beans."

"Then maybe we should do it again sometime," and the words were out of his mouth before he'd even thought about it.

"Harry, I –"

"If you want to, of course. Just a thought."

She didn't answer and he wondered if he had gone too far.

"I understand Ruth. I'm not asking for anything. I know what you said. I understand you don't want..."

"You have no idea what I want, Harry."

The frustration in her tone surprised him. She took a deep breath.

"I don't know it myself."

"Well you've been pretty sage so far this evening. Maybe you should listen to your own wise words."

She looked up at him, "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

"Tell me Ruth, does living a little mean apologising a lot? Because that's what we appear to be doing."

"Can we talk about something else?" she suggested with a half smile.

"Return to everyone dying around me and my inadequacies?"

"Yes, we should stick to your inadequacies, they should keep us going for a good while," the smile was returning.

"Glad to be of service."

And so their gentle banter continued, now keeping clear of more delicate subjects, whilst all the while Ruth's considerable thought processes began to unpick the one line that wouldn't leave her alone.