I think there are maybe two chapters left. I'm not sure. The words are mine and I'm sorry if they are painful to read.
The bells are ringing,
A pleasing, celebratory rhythm;
They pluck at my heartstrings,
Lift my brow,
Soothe my soul.
I am at peace
Amidst all the debris of
Coffee-stained mugs,
Food encrusted plates,
Dog-eared manuscripts
And inky pens
That leave their traces on my fingertips.
I lie here, sinking into the mattress,
Hair spread like a halo,
Sleepy eyes blinking bemusedly,
Thinking of everything and nothing,
Of days gone by and days yet to come,
Of angel-eyed boys
And fair-haired princesses,
Of your long, pink tongue
Languorously licking
Your double-chocolate ice-cream cone,
As the sun beat down
And unearthed the strands of auburn
In your dark hair.
The bells chimed that day too,
Glorying in our happiness,
Our perfect imperfection.
I stretch my hand across the great expanse, seeking,
And sigh with contentment
As my searching fingers
Meet their soul mate.
Dearest Edward,
I glory in these sleepy, sunny days. Thank you for bringing me here - I have always wanted to spend time in Italy. You should come back here, you know; your Italian is sinfully good and the Italians aren't immune to your charms either!
I love waking up to you every morning, your tousled head on the pillow beside me, your strong arms around me. I wish that I could keep us here, in this place, in this moment. This time with you is the most beautiful of gifts and I revel in my selfishness at having you all to myself.
We could have made a life here, Edward. Is it weird that I can see that when I should be seeing the end of all things? I saw a little girl running through the town square last week and, for one second, I imagined she was ours. I wish I could have given that to you, but I hope you will still experience it. You are so, so lovely with children; you will be a wonderful father - the one I would have wished for.
I'm sorry, I know my words are bittersweet for you to read right now, but I can't stop doing something that is so intrinsically us. We have always shared our souls with one another, the light and the shade, and I don't want to lose that.
I want you to look back on this time and smile. We have loved so thoroughly here, so completely. I feel your imprint in every part of me and yet, I can't get close enough, feel too much.
I adore you, Edward. I adore you.
Bella xxx
