THE MADHOUSE By Kondoru
Standard Disclaimers
Thanks to Ben for Betaing.
Part Eight; Bird Bath.
"Doesn't your friend `ever` bathe?" Asuka asked her daughter one afternoon.
"Which one?" Haruka wasn't sure what her mother meant by that, all her friends were clean.
"The one with the shaggy white hair. What's-his-name, who sits on the roof. " She said the last with no real dismay.
"Karasu."
"Yes, him. He looks and smells as if he lives in a cave!"
Oddly enough, Haruka had never questioned Karasus ungroomed and rather stinky state. All the Dragon Knights she had gotten close enough to smell had a rather distinct odour, unwashed bodies, the plasticy taint of layze, chemicals, fungi, reizu and general dirt.
The smell of Lacryma.
Tobi and Atori were now clean as whistles. They had scrubbed the Lacryma stink off at Miss Yukies apartment, before they even arrived at the Kaminogis. Those two wanted nothing more to do with the Dimension of Tears.
Kosagi, though in many ways a roof sitting, black habit wearing conservative, had been known to take a dip. Mostly in Asukas expensive smellies.
But Karasu, he was still the same as ever. Karasu didn't change at all.
Haruka idly wondered how her mother had found Karasu, who tended to stay out of her way.
Nor what she thought of him. Her mother took a lot for granted. Even Dragon Knights, whom she knew by now, were something to do with Quantum Physics.
And so, presumably Dr Mayuzumis problem.
"He smells like a sewer, I'm ashamed of you associating with such a dirtball...And as for letting him in the house." Disgust was in every word.
"He doesn't come in the house much, mum," Haruka explained, "Karasu mostly sits upon the roof."
"And what are the neighbours saying about that? `Why have you got a man in a black cape sat upon your roof? ` They say."
Haruka mulled this over.
"This used to be such a respectable household. Your grandmother would never let anyone sit on the ridgeline."
"No, I think not. Karasu likes it up there. He gets a better view." Haruka was not sure just why her Hero had a liking for Roofs...possibly it was because he could fly.
"Why can't he be like Tobi and Atori?" Asuka said sternly. "Even Kosagi is better than he is. (Even when she used up my best bubble bath)"
Haruka shook her head; she wasn't sure what to say.
"And how did you come to know such troublemakers anyhow?"
"I don't know, they just occurred." Haruka said evenly.
"Its `something` to do with your father, isn't it?" Asuka accused.
"I'm not at all sure."
"Miss Uchida and her chain-smoking friend keep on sniffing round. This is `defiantly` something of your fathers isn't it?" Suspicion was in ever word.
Haruka said "she's a great admirer of him."
"I bet! He always has an eye for the ladies! No, this is going too far. He should not get you involved in his projects."
"I don't think..." Haruka was defeated.
"Time Travel indeed!"
"I don't get involved in `that`." Haruka said.
"Your friends think you do."
"My Friends have some very strange notions at times." Haruka shook her head. "No, I don't get involved in anything extreme like Time Travel."
Asuka said nothing.
"And don't be so hard on the Dragon Knights. " Haruka added. "They are here to protect this Reality from hostile ones."
"I don't care. He's evicted until he takes a bath. Preferably in disinfectant!"
Haruka knew an ultimatum when she heard one. She went outside.
"Karasu!" She called.
That individual slid down the tiles and landed neatly in front of her. Karasu `was` filthy. Ingrained dirt splotching his tattooed arms, hair grey with matted dirt. How had Haruka not seen (or smelt) this before?
But you had to take Karasu as he came.
Same as Yu.
"What is it?" He asked, not liking the look on Harukas face. Karasu seemed to be getting into trouble a lot lately.
"Mum says you are a dirty bird. You're banned from the house until you have a bath."
Karasu shook his head. "I had a bath two weeks ago in the Reizu Monastery."
Haruka grunted in dissatisfaction. "Yes, Kosagi told me about that...In cold water."
"I smell just fine!"
"You smell like Lacryma!" Haruka told him.
"You stink!" Asuka added. Following her daughter out of the house. "I don't know who you are or why you are constantly sat on `my` roof, but you need a bath."
"I'm protecting Haruka from her enemies."
Asuka grunted "well, I hope they hate your stink as much as I do."
"You could do a much better job if you smelt sweet enough to let me near you." Added Haruka, unhappy that Karasu had got her mother so riled.
"Humph!" Grunted Karasu, and vanished.
Asuka turned to her daughter. "I really `don't` like your friends."
Yu stepped around the corner. He had evidently heard all this conversation. "Karasus not bad." He said defensively.
Asuka glowered at Yu. "You're sticking up for him?"
"Yes." Yu told her. "Karasus another version of me, a future one."
Asuka mulled this one over. She really must think of a witty and snide retort.
A flash of pink caught her eye in the tree. Kosagi was in her usual roost. "Is there anything wrong?" She asked.
"I'm sick of your fellow troublemaker's stink." Asuka told the Knight, vaguely ill at ease at having to crane up to see Kosagi.
Kosagi teleported down. "I'll have to do something about that." She said with a certain note of nasty pleasure in her voice.
She was interrupted by Miho and Atori coming though the gate after one of their endless rambles. Haruka did not see much of Atori anymore. Probably for the best. He only got under Tobis feet when around.
Atori stopped, an apprehensive look on his face. He and Kosagi didn't get on, and the female Knight was evidently up to no good.
"What is it?" Asked Miho concerned at her friend's nerves.
Haruka shook her head. "Karasus upset my mother. That's all."
Kosagi was making the most of the situation. "Lets get out the hose and give him a good soaking." She told them, one eye on Karasu, who was now back on the roof, his back to them.
Asuka looked up at Karasu. "Wont that make him angry?" She asked.
"We don't want him mad at us." Advised Atori.
"I'll get mad at you if you upset Karasu. "Yu said adamantly.
Haruka sniffed. "Don't dare you take his side, Yu."
Asuka gave Yu a wry look, "I hope in the future you don't get as dirty as Karasu." She told him.
Yu shook his head. "I don't intend to. But Karasu comes from a place in which there's lots of dirt and very little soap."
Asuka looked at Kosagi, who nodded slightly. "But the rest of you Knights bathe now, don't you? Tobi and Atori are always in the bath."
"Its bath night today." Said Atori helpfully.
"Not until Karasus used it." Haruka told him.
I haven't recommended a book in some time...
The Worm Ouroboros by E R Eddison
Surely one of the greatest of early Fantasy.
Its told in a faux Jacobean language, No one has thought that way in four hundred years...If they did back then. But the rich language is well suited to the subject matter, with its larger than life heroes, and their sumptuous surroundings. Tolkein read it, and loathed it in his usual affectionate disapproving manner. (He treated Bill Shakespeare in the same way) But then he of all people had a much more authentic feel for what old worlde language was really like.
Also he hated the names (some are good...and some are off-putting) and the clumsy beginning. (You may skip the first four pages in perfect safety.)
There is a Time Travel theme...but I won't spoil it for you. (Think of the title, the worm Ouroboros)
I warn you, it is tough meat to chew, but very rewarding.
This book is available Online at Sacred Texts (I think)
