Okay, before I start the chapter, I need to rant about something completly random (it has to do with Klaine though!). If you don't really care, just skip straight to the chapter.
So I was re-watching some old Glee covers (cause I was super bored and not doimg anything) and I came across the "Baby, it's cold outside" one, and can I just say that OH MY GOD IT IS THE. MOST. PRECIOUS. THING. I'VE. EVER. SEEN. IN. MY. LIFE. LIKE THAT THREE-ISH MINUTES OF THEM SINGING IS MORE ROMANTIC THAN THREE WHOLE SEASONS OF STUPID 'FINCHEL'! THIS ONE SONG IS THE REASON I STILL SHIP KLAINE TO THIS VERY DAY. LIKE THAT ONE MOMENT WHERE BLAINE INCHES CLOSER TO KURT AND SINGS "MIND IF I MOVE IN CLOSER" IS THE CUTEST THING EVER LIKE SERIOUSLY?! AND AT THE END WHEN THEY WERE ON OPPOSET ENDS OF THE COUCH I LEGIT THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE ABOUT TO KISS!! IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT THE GLEE WRITERD EVER DID NO JOKE.
I DON'T THROW AROUND THE WORD 'PERFECTION' A LOT, BUT THIS WAS DEFINATLY PERFECTION SO MUCH CUTENESS ALSKDJFHG!!!
*Ahem*... Sorry about that. I just really needed to get that off my chest. Now that I have sufficiantly ranted, please enjoy this chapter!
GLEEGLEEGLEE
Nick groaned and turned over in his bed, attempting to punch his pillow into a more comfortable postition to lay down on. He tugged the blanket over his body and closed his eyes, trying to get his buzzing brain to shut up.
It was no use. He couldn't sleep.
Kurt's interaction with Puck had been... confusing, to say the least. How did someone like Kurt end up being friends with someone like Puck? Puck seemed like the kind of guy who would beat up a gay person or humiliate, not be freakily protective of one.
And Kurt seemed to trust the terrifying mohawked teen, which was one of the most confusing things about it. What events had led up to Noah Puckerman earning a spot in Kurt's affections?
But the most mysterious part of it all wasn't anything about Puck, it was something that Kurt said. He closed his eyes as he remembered Kurt's angry, flushed face. "Just because they're gay doesn't mean they're crazy like Karofsky was!"
Nick sighed and smacked his forehead with his hand, frustration welling up inside him. Why did the name Karofsky seem so farmiliar to him?
Nick turned on his side and glanced across the room at his sleeping boyfriend. Jeff was sprawled across his bed, one leg dangling off of the side, dead to the world. He was squeezing his pillow tightly and he had his head buried in his blanket Jeff definatly didn't seem bothered by Kurt.
Nick turned back around and glared at the wall, definatly feeling frustrated.
Where had he heard the name Karofsky before?
After a moment of debating, Nick quickly sat up and grabbed his laptop and opened it up, blinking as the sudden brightness stung his eyes. He was surprised to see it was almost three in the morning. Had he been tossing and turning all night?
Nick opened google and paused for a minute, his cursor hovering over the search bar uncertianly.
Should he google the name? He was extremely curious, but he had a feeling that this would be possibly breeching Kurt's privacy. This person, Karofsky, could very well be the bully that drove Kurt away from his old school, and he didn't want to break Kurt's trust by finding out something that may be personal to him. Kurt had seemed very uncomfortable when he was talking about it before.
What was he going to do?
Making up his mind, he typed the name into the google search bar and pressed enter. his heart pounding in his chest. How bad could this really be? Maybe... maybe nothing would even show up...
He blinked when he saw the results that popped up. A few articals about a person named David Karofsky, with a picture of a chubby highschool boy in an orange prison jumpsuit attatched to the artical. What the hell...?
He clicked on one of the articals, his heart thumping in his chest.
"David Karofsky." He muttered, reading the artical aloud. "Eighteen years old, accused and found guilty of several accounts of..."
His eyes widened all of the color drained from his cheeks. His hand went to his mouth in horror. No... no, this couldn't be right...
Accused and found guilty of several accounts of rape and assault to a male minor not named. The person he assaulted was not named in the artical, due to privacy reasons.
Feeling slightly numb, Nick scrolled down to see what school Dave attended.
McKinley highschool.
No. Nick told himself firmly, shaking his head. No, that could be anybody. It doesn't have to be him...
"I don't like the idea of you sharing a room with someone who's gay, Kurt!" The Puckerman boy had said. "They could do something to you! Especially after what happened last year with - " Kurt had interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.
It could still be something else... it doesn't have to be Kurt...
Nick thought back to all of Kurt's peculiar behaviors. The way he shrunk back whenever people tried to touch him, the way he got nervous when he was around a lot of people, his panic attack in the rec room when Blaine had tried to touch his shoulder, the finger-shaped bruise that Jeff had seen around his neck, the way he walked as if he was in constant pain...
They had been looking for all of the wrong signs. They weren't looking at someone with abusive parents. They were looking at a rape victem.
"Oh god..." Nick whispered, covering his face with his hands. He leaned his head against the wall, feeling sick.
He thought back to the behavior of the countertenor. The boy had been so sweet and shy, like a frightened rabbit. The thought of anyone hurting Kurt in that way made his head hurt and his stomach churn with fury. How could anyone ever do that to someone? To Kurt?
He rubbed his hand against his face. He was seriously regretting ever having opened his laptop. He felt sick and comtaminated somehow, and it hadn't even happened to him. He felt another stab to his heart when he imagined how Kurt must have felt.
'Multiple accounts'... This wasn't just one attack that had left Kurt scarred for life. This person, this Karofsky, had raped Kurt multiple times. How did it happen? Did Kurt not tell anyone? Perhaps he was to scared to tell anyone...
And now you've just found out his secret. Nick sighed. His curiosity really was going to be the death of him some day.
He leaned his head against the wall, screwing up his face in a grimace. What the hell was he going to do? Now that he knew this secret, he had no idea what he should do with it.
Should he tell the others? On one hand, they would all know to be careful around Kurt if they knew, and Kurt might make a bit more sense to them all... But on the other, if he told them, he would be sharing something that Kurt didn't want them to know, and that might just distance Kurt further from them, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.
So, that was it. He would just pretend that he didn't know anything, and he would let it tear him apart on the inside.
Just fucking perfect.
Jeff blinked when he slowly woke up to a bright light shining in his face. He glanced around the room, attempting to locate the source, and saw that it was Nick's laptop that was shining at him. It was almost three in the morning.
Confused, Jeff's gaze moved to Nick. Nick was sitting up in his bed, his head in his hands.
"Babe?" He said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. When Nick made no signs that he had heard him, Jeff slowly stood and padded over to Nick's bed. "Nicky?" He asked again. Nick still didn't move. Jeff gently grabbed Nick's hands and pried them away from his face. Nick's eyes were closed, his face scrunched up, as if he was trying to block out a bright light. "Nick, what's wrong?" He asked worriedly, holding Nick's trembling hands in his own. "You're shaking. Bad dream?"
Nick let out a shaky breath. "Something like that." He muttered, letting his head fall onto Jeff's shoulder. Jeff automatically wrapped his arms around Nick and rubbed his back comfortingly. "Will you stay with me?"
"Of course I will." He said with a small smile. Still keeping his arms wrapped tightly around Nick's shoulders, he layed both of them down on the bed and pulled the covers over Nick and himself. Nick buried his head into Jeff's chest. "Do you want to talk about it?" Jeff asked quietly, rubbing his thumb over Nick's back.
"No." Nick whispered, hugging Jeff tighter. "I just need you to stay with me."
Jeff frowned. It was rare that Nick didn't talk to Jeff about whatever was bothering him. "Okay, sweetie." He said, kissing Nick's forehead. "Just let me know if you do."
They were silent for a moment, laying together in Nick's bed.
In a few moments, Nick broke the silence. "...Do you remember our first time?" He asked, pulling back to look up at Jeff.
Jeff looked down at Nick, smiling confusedly. "How could I forget?" He asked, running a hand through Nick's hair. "It was the best night of my life."
Nick smiled a bit. "Mine, too." He said, playing with the hem of Jeff's t-shirt. "You were so patient and gentle."
"Of course I was." Jeff whispered with a frown, looking down into Nick's eyes. "It was your first time. What kind of monster would I be if I wasn't?"
Nick swallowed thickly and put his head back on Jeff's chest. Monster. Was that how Kurt thought of Karofsky? A monster? Did Karofsky haunt his nightmares? Did he think of Karofsky every time someone touched him?
Nick's first time with Jeff had been magical, it had been life changing. He couldn't imagine it being with anyone else, in any other way. The thought that Kurt's own first time had been torn from him in such a violent way made him want to scream out, or sob.
"Nick?" Jeff asked worriedly when he felt tears soak through the front of his shirt. He grabbed Nick's chin and tilted his head up, brushing away the tears on his face. "Nicky, what's wrong? Did something happen to you? I'm really worried about the way you're acting."
"Nothing happened, sweetie." Nick whispered back to him, putting his arms around Jeff's shoulder and hugging him tighter. "The dream just really shook me up. I just need to go to sleep."
Jeff was still unconvinced, but the tone in Nick's voice indicated that he was definatly done talking about this. "Okay, love." He whispered, kissing Nick's forehead again before allowing himself to drift back to sleep.
GLEEGLEEGLEEGLEE
The dream started the same. It always started the same.
But this time it was different. He was with Blaine instead of one of his friends at McKinley. They were walking down the halls of Dalton academy. They were holding hands.
They were talking, laughing. He was The Old Kurt, happy and full of life. Not The New Kurt, a broken, lifeless shell of the person he once was.
Blaine was laughing at a joke that he told, all of his friends were laughing. He had friends. A family. Everything was perfect.
Until...
"Hey! Lady boy!"
Kurt felt his entire body freeze as he heard the farmiliar voice of Dave Karofsky behind him. His insides turned to ice. He couldn't move. Not this again, it couldn't be... not at Dalton, he was supposed to ve safe...
The other boys were looking in between him and Karofsky with mild confusion and curiosity, wondering what was going on.
None of them tried to stop Karofsky as he sidled up behing Kurt and put his hands on Kurt's waist. Kurt flinched violently, but he didn't move away. He couldn't.
"Did you miss me?" He growled huskily, moving his left hand slowly down Kurt's leg, then back up to grip his inner thigh tightly. Kurt whimpered.
"Please..." He whispered desperatly. He couldn't do it again, he couldn't. "Please..."
"What the hell is going on here?" Blaine's voice was angry, but he wasn't angry at Karofsky. He was angry at Kurt.
"Kurt, how could you let him do this to you?! Are you weak?! Are you stupid?!"
"Can't even fight him off." Nick said in disgust, shaking his head. "How could anyone ever love you? You're just a weak, useless, fag."
And they all started to leave, giving Kurt repulsed glances over their shoulders as they exited the building.
Kurt tried to call out to them, to ask them to help him, to tell them that it wasn't what they were thinking, but he felt a large hand clamp over his mouth. He couldn't scream. He couldn't move.
"Are you ready to have some fun, fairy?" Karofsky whispered into his ear, his right hand roaming up to Kurt's shirt button.
"NO!"
Kurt gasped as he shot up in his bed, clawing at the non-existant hand that was clamped at his neck. He needed to get away, Karofsky, Blaine -
No... no, it was just a dream... Kurt looked around at his room, attempting to re-orient his sleep-addled brain. Just a dream. Just a dream.
Kurt ran his hand through his hair and sighed, glancing over at Blaine. Dead asleep. Good. He could put off that awkward conversation for another day.
When he glanced at the clock on his nightstand, he saw that it was almost six in the morning. Oh well. It's not like he was going to get any more sleep anyway.
He gave a small sigh, heaved himself from his bed, and made his way to the bathroom to take his shower.
GLEEGLEEGLEE
Argh, you guys have no clue how much it physically pains me to do this to Kurt! But I have to go on, because I'm really enjoying writing this story.
So, I've been thinking about something. When did the Glee fanbase just decide that Nick and Jeff were a couple? Because I can only remember one scene that Nick and Jeff were both in, and we didn't really see any of their personality. And it feels like Nick and Jeff just have these pre-set personalities that the Glee fanbase just decided. Am I just crazy? I don't know, maybe it's a fanon thing... I'm not super knowlegable about Glee fanon.
Anyway, Nick knows now. It's going to be a while before any of the others find out, but I made Nick find out because... I don't know, I wanted to. But the others won't find out for a while.
Hope you enjoyed! Byeeee!
