TITLE Moments of Clarity 8/9
AUTHOR Neolithic Dream
PAIRING Calzona, some Mark/Lexie
RATING PG13
SUMMARY We all have significant moments in our lives, moments of clarity that shape our future. What happened in that elevator and the aftermath, somewhat introspective in the beginning. Starts with Callies' POV,will move to Arizonas' POV and eventually real communication. Spoiler up to ep.7.12 and (possibly by co-incidence only ep.7.13).
DISCLAIMER I do not own Calzona or any of the characters mentioned in this fic. They are the property of Shonda Rhimes/ ABC etc.. This fic is purely written for enjoyment and without intent or prospect of profit. No copyright infringement intended.
A/N This is my first attempt at any type of fiction writing ever never mind fan fiction. It may not be great but I had a surprising amount of fun writing it. Any comments welcome but go easy as I'm a newb

Parts 1- 7 can be found at my journal cos I don't know how to do the link thing ;)

Voiceover- As Doctors we ask our patients to make informed decisions about surgical procedures based on all the possible consequences we have outlined to them. As people we try to make informed decisions about our own lives based on all the possible consequences we can foresee. Despite our best efforts we do not always anticipate every possible consequence..

Callie could not find a single position that was in anyway conducive to sleep. Then again how could someone the size of a beached whale be expected to sleep in a human sized bed? She was tired, from lack of sleep and from being pregnant. She just wanted it to be over; how in Gods name and why, would anyone put themselves through this more than once.

It was the first thing her mother had said, after she stopped crying. "Mija, you will become the size of a small house, it is in the genes". Sanchez/Torres women, apparently, did not do sexy petite barely-there baby bumps. Her father had, once he stopped yelling, become quite the comedian too, telling her that during both of her mothers pregnancies she had required a "turning circle" which would have made the Titanic blush! She had hoped they were joking but no, Callie, was one of those pregnant women whose size inspired open-mouthed stares from complete strangers. And it wasn't as if she was eating for two. She had never eaten so healthily in her life: Arizona had become a healthy food Nazi for the duration. Alcohol was out obviously but take home Pizza was also on the banned substance list, along with her favourite (unpasteurised) cheeses and every item on her famous breakfast menus; the bacon, the pancakes and the French toast. And oh unconfined joy (not!) in came granola and steamed vegetables, grilled skinless chicken and brown rice. It was a measure of how bad things got that Arizona had taken to insisting that they have turkey sandwiches for lunch-SANDWICHES! No the only one who benefitted from Callies "new dimensions" was Arizona, who true to her word did indeed behave as if she had died and gone to heaven as Callies breasts seemed to grow exponentially.

It was mid-July, she was eight and a half months pregnant, the size of an R.V and to cap it all Seattle was having one of its hottest summers on record. And she couldn't sleep. So Callies thoughts drifted to the events of the last seven and a bit months since the day she peed on a stick which, two agonisingly long minutes later, turned pink.

They had known it wasn't going to be easy, they had known, as they left the basement, arms draped around shoulders and waists, that it would be hard. Had they known just how hard on occasion would they still have made the same decisions, would Arizona have?

Firstly they had to tell people. Mark was the first to be informed and after a wobbly start had seemed to accept the news positively and inclusively of Arizona. Still, there had been an undefinable but definite shift in their friendship from that day on. She had promised Arizona that things would change and she and Mark had set boundaries regarding their day to day physical interaction. There would be knocking on (and locking of) doors now. There would be no teasing, public or private, of Arizona, relating to Mark and Callies previous horizontal activities. Mark and Callie would each give priority to their partners on their limited downtime. She had not foreseen that their friendship, a friendship which had seen her through some of her most difficult times, would cool appreciably. Gone was the relaxed easy banter which had been their hallmark, replaced by an ever present awareness of not breaching the new rules but more seriously was what festered underneath the surface; a mild yet very real mutual resentment that they were experiencing the miracle of parenthood together instead of with their chosen partners. Callie, too, felt guilty, about the state of his relationship with Lexie Grey. Maybe too, the knowledge of impending parenthood and the responsibility that would necessarily come with it, had made both simply grow up and apart. The friendship still existed but it was not the same. Callie mourned the loss while simultaneously being relieved by it.

Arizona knew too that Callie and Mark had changed towards each other. Initially it caused her heart to flutter every time that Callie gave them priority, gave her priority over Mark. She had waited a long time to feel that she was indeed Callies No.1 priority and it gladdened her heart. However, regardless of her personal feelings towards Mark, she loved her girlfriend too much to enjoy for long anything that caused her pain. She knew how important Mark had been as a friend; she knew Mark had helped through the darkest days of O'Malley and Hahn; she knew that his importance as a friend far outweighed any other aspect of the relationship; she knew he had been important long before she had even arrived in Seattle. And, illogical or not, she felt guilty, yet another way that she had managed to hurt that what she had loved, did love, the most.

Lexie Grey was the next to be informed. Mark had told her and then gave her the breathing space she demanded. Lexie loved Mark but Lexie discovered that she was tougher than she knew. She had survived their first breakup. She had survived worse: the sudden death of her beloved mother, the slow disintegration of her adored Dad from hero to a shambling alcoholic and the discovery of a new (and initially very frosty) sister in Meredith. She had survived the shooting too. So she knew, once the initial shock had worn off, that she could do this, be with Mark and find her own role, define it if necessary in this oh so modern family with her boyfriend, his friend, her lover and their baby. She just didn't know if she wanted to do it.

She and Arizona had grown close, initially due to the similarity of their circumstances but ultimately due to the many similarities of their personalities. Both understood, had been intimate with the pain of loss but both chose optimism over despair. Both understood the power of the perky but could relate to the dark and twisty too. In her career Arizona had become a mentor, in her personal life Arizona had become her friend.

Within their circle of friends in the hospital the Seattle Grace grapevine obviated the need for formal disclosure for the most part. Lexie had told Meredith, which meant Derek and Cristina knew. Cristina told Owen. April,Avery and Karev all lived in the frat house so they knew and the rest as they say was history.

There were surprising reactions. Meredith, trying so hard to conceive herself, took it as a personal insult that Callie could be pregnant without trying, by accident, when she could not get pregnant by design. She knew it was illogical but nonetheless it pushed her firmly into Team Robbins. Yes even though the girls themselves had reunited the so called Team Calzona not so much. People were wary of allowing themselves get caught up in that romance again. Some who had been Team Torres changed allegiances when the news broke and vice versa. Some could not believe that one who had appreciated the awesomeness of an Arizona could have ever reverted to a Mark Sloan and therefore could not possibly deserve an Arizona again. Others said that no man would raise anothers child in these circumstances so why should Arizona? Others said that Callie should not trust Arizona again and was setting herself up for another heartbreak.

Cristina, who would never admit to it, had been as loyal a friend to Callie as Mark had been, just without the sorbet, so she was Team Torres. Derek, who knew what it was like to lose a partner to the charms of Mark Sloan, had always liked Arizona. He admired her abilities but even more so her dedication and generosity to her patients. He had been extremely flattered when the likeable blonde had earned the nickname "McDreamy 2.0". So while he liked Torres he felt he knew a little of what Arizona might be feeling and so was Team Robbins.

Owen had always liked both women but when it came to the crunch Cristina was boss so Team Torres it would be. April Kepner was too much of a romantic too take sides having stayed firmly on Team Calzona throughout. Karev, well, not that he'd admit it either but Arizona Robbins had changed his life. She showed him that Paeds could be hardcore,that he could be awesome. She was his boss, she was unbelievably hard on him at times. She was his mentor, his friend, in truth, his idol. He would walk on hot coals for that woman not that anyone would ever guess. So Team Robbins!

None of this was overt and the women themselves were as oblivious to the separate camps as to Calzona in the first place. They knew they were the subject of gossip and lots of it and hated it. They also knew their friends supported them both if not always equally. Arizona was touched by the many people who had congratulated her but also offered support to her. She knew she was the late arrival to this party, most of her, their friends started off as Callies friends and after her behaviour at Sea-tac well she had not expected (or felt she deserved) much support.

Some people like Teddy and Bailey had to actually be told: Teddy as she had been away when the news broke, Bailey as she didn't do gossip. Teddy wanted nothing more than to have her aspirational couple back. She was a romantic soul and as a Cardio God wondered if her own poor heart would survive if the couple hit splitsville again. On balance she thought it would not.

Baileys reaction was a bit perplexing to both women. They bumped into her in the Attendings lounge and told her. She was silent for a moment, then stood up, hands on hips - "well, so what you're saying is YOU got yourself knocked up by the manwhore and you, YOU finally figured out that kids were for keeps not just for the hospital and now the TWO of you are going to play happy families. Yes?" They nodded nervously." Well its about goddamn time you two saw sense, messing with other peoples feelings like that, letting us down, making us choose sides and such nonsense, Team Torres and Team Robbins huh...Let me tell you I don't do gossip and I don't want to know your business don't be telling me your business but you two are MFEO and don't ever forget it . I was Team Calzona all the way, never changed, now don't you go proving Bailey wrong! CALZONA 4eva!" and with that she walked out leaving two utterly bewildered surgeons in her wake.

"Team Torres and Team Robbins, what was that all about,Callie?" "No idea, she lost me when she mentioned the Pizza, I want Pizza!" "No pizza, but I have a turkey sandwich in my locker, will that do, babe?"

There were other friends too most notably Arizonas "golden circle". Arizona had been oblivious to any undercurrents, she had adored Calliope so assumed her friends did too. So when they broke the news a few months in, when they had gone out together, the 6 of them, well the atmosphere around the table turned chillier than the March air outside. "You can not be serious Arizona-she sleeps with guys and now shes pregnant by one and you are hanging around?"/"You are off saving the children, she sleeps with her ex and you're the one left holding the baby"/ "Well Callie you sure do have our Arizona whipped!" Callie didn't even get a chance to reply. Arizona stood up grabbed Callies hand and walked away without a single word to her 4 friends. She didn't say anything on the way home either, as she deleted 4 numbers from her phone. She didn't say a single word until lying in the dark snuggled up to Callies -"I choose you, I'll always choose you and anyone who disrespects my choice, who disrespects you cannot be my friend." Arizona had refused to take their calls, or to see them when they turned up at the apartment and in the end it was Callie who mediated the ceasefire earning considerable respect along the way.

Friends, colleagues were one thing - family was quite another. Before the breakup Arizona was quietly being accepted by the Torres family. Her "good man in a storm" speech had impressed and not just for its content. As the father of two beautiful daughters and founder and CEO of a Fortune 500 business he had encountered suitors, businessmen and politicians of all shapes and sizes over many years. Few had failed to be intimidated by him; fewer still had the temerity to stand up to him and point out to him the error of his ways. He had not expected that one of the few would be a pretty petite blonde doctor with wheels on her shoes. Carlos Torres considered himself a very good judge of character. He was also known for his meticulous research. His judgement and his research, by private detective(into every aspect of Arizonas life) led him to conclude that, had she been a man, Dr. Arizona Robbins was exactly the partner he would choose for his beloved daughter; honourable, strong, successful, loyal and true. When she left his daughter standing alone in an Airport he was extremely angry, but also felt conned, and strangely a little bereft.

Callie decided to tell her family that she was back with Arizona first and to let the other bombshell wait awhile. The first news did not go down well. When Carlos turned up unexpectedly at the nurses station in Paeds Arizona turned a whiter shade of pale. She had once before hoped that her gender would prevent Carlos Torres throwing her up against a wall; after everything she was not sure that would protect her this time. There was going to be a scene and she couldn't even bring him to her office because it was Starks office now! "Dr. Robbins, you and I need to have a conversat..," Before anymore could be said Stark appeared and said "Robbins, when you work for me, I expect you to work. Do your socialising on your own time. You've missed enough time playing Happy Mommies with your...Girlfriend." the disdain dripping from his voice. Yes, as if it were not enough that he was unprofessional, lazy and incompetent Stark was also a misogynist and a bigot. His intense dislike for his blonde subordinate causing him to be even more unpleasant than usual. "Dr. Stark, my shift actually finished two hours ago" a large fake smile plastered on her face, as she hoped against hope that Carlos would somehow not pick up on the "Mommies" jibe.

"Mr. Torres, perhaps we can go somewhere a little more private?" "Indeed, and while we do, perhaps you can tell me the identity of that gentleman?" Arizona led him to the Paeds on call room, only realising once there that bringing Calliopes Dad to THEIR on call room might be slightly inappropriate. "That was Dr. Stark, my boss, Head of Paeds"

"And are you not Head of Paeds?" "I was, uhm, before" oh crap she thought "before now.."she rushed out almost in the hope that the faster she spoke the faster this moment, trapped in an on call room with an irate pass. "I see. Your boss seems to be displeased by the quality of your work" Arizona could not help but bristle at the suggestion that the idiot Doctor could judge her work. "Should I conclude from this that you are as unreliable in your professional life as in your personal life?" "Sir, I am not unreliable in my professional life, Doctor Starks' issues with me lie elsewhere" " Then do you accept that you are unreliable in your personal life?" "I, Sir, I want to apol.." "You lied to me Dr. Robbins.." "No,sir..I" " YOU told me you loved my daughter" "I did,I mean I DO" "YOU told me you would protect her, YOU told me that you would be a GOOD MAN IN A STORM!" Carlos' voice remained steady and calm but to Arizona it seemed that each emphasised word was like a knife through her heart. She could not deny the truth of his words. "When YOU abandoned my Calliope in an airport was that LOVE, PROTECTION? Or was that cowardice, DOCTOR Robbins? Is that who your Marine father raised you to be ? You let my daughter down, you let me down, you let your parents down and I think most of all, Dr. Robbins you let yourself down."

" Yes sir" Arizona stood ramrod straight like a soldier being disciplined by a superior but with tears flowing uncontrolled down her face " Everything you said is true, except that I did not lie to you when I said those things, I meant every word, sir, but I let everyone down especially Calliope". "And now you are back in her life, can you see why that would concern me? "Yes Sir" "so, I am waiting for your explanation, your rousing speech to allay all my concerns" Silence. "Dr. Robbins?"

Carlos knew that he had gone in hard, he had used these tactics many times in business and watched as hardened tough businessmen crumbled before him. He needed to do this, to test her mettle, to see if he had been wrong in his original judgement or whether recent events were an aberration.

" Sir, I have no speech or rousing words. I love her,sir,I love her so so much and I hurt her,really hurt her.I never thought I would do that,that I could do that but I did. And I can't change what I did. At the time I told myself that I was doing it for her, that she didn't really want to goto Africa and she didn't. But I told myself also that she didn't really want to be with me, but she did and I was wrong. I was wrong and stupid and I made a horrible mistake. And I came back because I love her and to make it right. And somethings I can't make right because sometimes there are consequences that we can't,don't foresee. But I love her sir and she..she loves me sir and she has forgiven, is forgiving me and we are seeing a counsellor and..."

"Doct- Arizona" he had heard enough, seen enough to know that this woman would fulfil her promise to be a good man in a storm.

"No,Sir, I can't promise that I will never let her down again. But I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of her, if she wants me...and I don't expect your or your family's blessing now but I hope one day it may be forthcoming. If not then I will be disappointed but ultimately the only persons consent I need to keep loving your daughter is your daughters"

"Well after all that it would be very poor manners not to buy you a coffee or maybe you would do me the honour of joining me for a drink, I believe I have heard Calliope mention an establishment close by, Joes I think"

And because Carlos Torres really was not a man who took no for an answer Arizona found herself sipping a very fine single malt whiskey(Joes finest) with her girlfriends father in no time at all. She tried to page Calliope to give her some warning. Callie was now three months pregnant and unless cleverly disguised had already a discernible bump. A bump that Arizona had come to adore almost as much as her breasts, not that she was quite ready to admit to that just yet. But Callie was in surgery and likely to remain so for several hours so it was just her and Carlos.

"So, Arizona, I take it will not be necessary to give you the "talk"." No sir I am so sor.."

"Enough, mija, I did not trust my daughters judgement at first, I could not understand how she could suddenly sleep with a wo..with you when all her life she had liked boys, I too made a terrible mistake when I disowned her, made her mother and sister do likewise. Callie has forgiven me, her mother and sister are trying to forgive me..I am still in the doghouse a little as it were. I would like your forgiveness, for my actions back then.I know they impacted on you too and I am deeply ashamed and I too love my daughter and I protect her and I too never expected to hurt her. So we have that in common. ."

"Sir, its Arizona" "Carlos"

Arizona breathed a sigh of relief, it was short lived...