Okay, here is a small update inbetween my holidays. So far everything is fine and I'm really happy to be with my family again!
I hope you enjoy this!
Don't cry, девочка!
The next day was the last day before the Christmas holidays and therefore the travel day. Today, everybody would go home to their family, to celebrate together. Christmas was only three days away and the excitement was in the air like a thick veil. Everybody was happy and I joined in to play my role.
Luckily nobody had asked me so far what I would be doing over the holidays though the teachers knew that I was the only pupil not going home. Some would stay as they didn't have families to celebrate with. This would mean for me to celebrate this holiday together with teachers. Oh joy! As if I couldn't get enough of them already!
The morning started late and the sun was shining bright already. I really didn't want to get up as I feared that this day would start just the way yesterday ended. And this hadn't been really wonderful thou I totally enjoyed the closeness and kisses from Dimitri. He obviously had enjoyed it also.
But what now? Did I really have the strength to watch Dimitri and Alexa together or would I crack sooner than later? And now that I've tasted heaven, did I really want to step down? No, not really but I now had to wait for Dimitri to do something. I had shown him what he could have if he would make the right decision, but what if he didn't do this?
Could I go on as if nothing had happened between us? Could I watch him acting all lovely with her though I knew that he had enjoyed our little encounter between the bookshelves just as much as I had? And what about our Russian lessons?
There were too many questions flying around in my head I couldn't really answer. And this certainly was a really good reason for not getting up, or?
"Rose? Are you awake?" Well, obviously not!
I turned towards Vik's bed groaning. "Hm?" Keeping my eyes closed tightly because of sun light spilling into our room, I fumbling around for the alarm clock. Urg, 10 already! In only two hours, Vik and Dimitri would leave as would the rest of the school.
"So, how did it go?"
Groaning again – this time because of the question and not the light – I looked at her. "What do you think how it went?" I asked her, my voice already showing that I wasn't happy at all.
Her eyes roamed my face, taking in my not so really happy look. "That bad?"
"Well actually it was nice. I mean we really kissed and it seemed to me that he was enjoying himself." Vik squeaked happily, a wide grin spreading on her face. "But I ran off afterwards."
Her face fell instantly. "Why?"
"I … I don't know. The thought that he was still together with her crossed my mind and after that I couldn't really go on with the plan. I felt like I was intruding something and this is not me. Well, at least not the real me, you know?"
Vik's face grew seriously. "So, what now?"
Shrugging, I averted my gaze to look out the window into the snow covered world outside. "I don't know. I guess I will wait what Dimitri will do about this."
"Are you seriously giving up?" Vik asked shocked. Yeah, it had shocked me just the same when coming to that conclusion just mere minutes ago.
Shrugging again, I looked back at her. "I don't know. Maybe I'll just wait for him to make up his mind."
"But Rose," she cautioned, "Do you really think that Alexa will give him up? I mean, help with making this decision! Come on, you're a going-to-be Guardian for crying out loud! And I've never estimated you as someone to step back down when something you want was in your reach." Somehow she sounded disappointed.
Maybe it was that or the words she had spoken, but something inside me snapped back into the right place. Who was I kidding anyways? I wanted Dimitri. I wanted everything of him and Vik had been right about me never giving up on something I want. I was a Hathaway and this name screamed trouble. Practically. Especially if used together with the name Rosemary, everyone who knows me could certify that.
"So what do you suppose?" I asked her, having found back my strength to fight.
Vik looked back at me, her face solemn. "You are going to restart the mission of course. Even if it will be after Christmas."
I looked back at her, feeling a grin spreading on my face slowly. "Okay, so the mission is restarted."
Suddenly, Vik seemed to remember something and I really didn't see it coming. "Hey, what are you going to do for Christmas anyway? Are you going home?"
Everything inside me went still. I hadn't anticipated for anyone to remember this small little detail about me not giving any answers to this question. There was only one way: the Rose Hathaway act!
Shrugging my shoulders in a relaxed fashion, I gave her smile which probably wasn't even reaching my eyes. "No, I'm going to stay here. The only home I have is in America and that's just too far for only a few days."
Yeah, it could have passed easily if Vik wouldn't know me too good already. "Your mom is not coming to pick you up?" Uh, I should have mentioned something about the typical Janine Hathaway behaviour towards her one and only daughter, shouldn't I?
"No, but that's alright. No big deal. It's not as if she had done this during the last years, you know?" For me there was nothing to say and so I decided to stop our conversation about this topic here. It would only lead to telling her more which I really didn't feel like right now.
So I stood up and started to get ready for the day. Vik obviously understood the meaning and didn't question me further. I was very thankful for that as I didn't want to be reminded about something that caused me heart ache every day though I had perfected my I-don't-care-about-it-mask over the years. Only Lissa knew about this.
When both of us had finished, we headed out of the dormitory. Suddenly Vik had stopped, putting her hand on her forehead. "Deng, I forgot something. I'll meet you in the cafeteria?"
Not really caring as this was a regular happing with her, I walked to the cafeteria all by my own. Grabbing some food and hot coffee for both of us, I went to our usual seats. The table had been empty except for Ivan. Taking this as my chance to have my long planned talk with him, I quickly sat down and shot him my best smile. "Morning."
As I took a few sips from the still hot beverage, I watched him eating for some moments. When he was about to finish, I started my interrogation about his feelings towards Vik.
"I'm sorry when I sound a little bold, but there has been something I had always wanted to ask you. But it's a little private and so …" I trailed off, hoping for him to grasp where this was going.
Looking at me over his tea cup, he smiled. "It's about Vik, isn't it?"
Startled that he intentionally had grasp the right straw, I could only nod.
"Well, it's not that easy as Dimka is my best friend, you know?"
Nodding, I thought about the meaning of this statement. It seemed to me that he liked Vik more than one likes the baby sister of his best friend. But what was he afraid about?
"Yeah, I know. But why do you think it isn't such a good idea? I mean, when you like her and she likes you then what is the problem?"
Sighing, he looked at me sadly. "When something goes wrong between Dimka and I or Vik and I, there would always be the problem that this is somewhat a triangle. For example: if Vik and I would hook up and everything goes fine. Someday I would have to break up with her because I didn't love her anymore than I would always have to face her brother. And I know that Dimka hates everybody who hurts his sister. And it would be the other way around."
I could see where the problem was now. "Yeah, that could be a problem but don't you think if it would be worth a try?"
"Maybe. I'll think about it." He said, glancing up at someone entering the cafeteria. When I turned around I saw Vik walking towards us, a smile on her face.
Ivan and I didn't talk about this anymore but I really hoped that he would take the chance and give it a shot. You never know what will be coming out in the end.
After breakfast we went back into our dormitory and I helped Vik pack her stuff. Soon it was time for us to walk to the gates to greet her mother and to say our good-bys. I detested having to stay back but there was nothing I could do.
Standing at the gates waiting, Dimitri soon joined us. This was the time for me to pass out my presents. I had asked Lissa to send me some stuff and she had done so. Giving out my presents to Vik and Dimitri I was hoping to get away as I really didn't like watching them rejoin with their family. I had avoided Dimitri's intriguing gaze all day long.
"Merry Christmas you two! Please excuse me, but it's too cold." They didn't need to know that it wasn't the cold that was what drove me away. "Have a nice holiday!" I waved at their bewildered faces before I quickly turned around and hurried off to the library.
I had always hated crying in front of others with the exception of Lissa, but haven't done this for several years in her presence. Now, that I was leaning against the shelves in the very corner where I had been kissing Dimitri yesterday, I allowed my tears to finally fall down freely as I had been pushing them back for some time. I tried to quiet my sobs, but once in a while they forced their way out of my hurting chest and I couldn't suppress them anymore. What for anyways? Nobody was here as they probably all had left already.
Suddenly a warm and strong arm wrapped around my still shaking shoulders and a warm and soft mouth pressed itself tightly against my forehead. A deep voice whispered softly "Don't cry девочка, please don't cry."
Wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me tighter towards his warm frame, Dimitri leaned his head against mine and waited patiently for my sobs to subside. After a while, the tears had stopped leaking and I was sniffing only once in a while. Astonishingly I didn't feel any embarrassment at having cried my eyes out in his presence. On the contrary, I had felt save and content. As if it was okay to cry once in a while.
"How fast can you pack your bag with some clothes for the holidays?" he asked, smiling down at me happily.
I looked up at him dumb folded.
"You're coming with us for the holidays. Everything is clarified already, you just have to pack!"
Translation "девочка": „Little Girl"
I hope you liked it.
Please leave me a review!
Lilian85
