-1Restless Knights
"Heero, come on---you can't tell me that you don't want to see this," Duo coaxed. He was leaning against the book laden shelf in Heero's apartment. They had just gotten of work, still in Preventer uniform. Duo's jacket was slung over his shoulder. Heero's was hanging on the peg by the door, and he was browsing his bookshelf for a novel to entertain him for the evening. Duo rolled his eyes.
"You read to damn much," Duo muttered. Heero momentarily paused his browsing to cut Duo a cursory glare. He pulled a thick paper back novel from the shelf, Ender's Game. A book he had started a while ago, but Relena had interrupted him. He hadn't picked it up since. It was about time that he found out more about the little boy with a bleeding heart with a violent streak. Ender reminded Heero of himself. Poor kid.
"I like reading," Heero replied almost defensively. Duo gesticulated wildly.
"And you don't like the concept of seeing Relena Queen-of-the-Damn-World Dorlain too drunk to spell cat?"
Heero stifled a chuckle and conceded a little, "It might be interesting."
Duo grinned, "Now that's more like it. I hear that there is this uncharted stealth chopper at work…"
-------------------------------- Meanwhile, at the Peacecraft Palace
Pagan leaned against the driver door of the limo. He reached into his coat pocket, pulling out a small prescription bottle. He read the label: Take one for anxiety as needed. Pagan looked back at the gaggle of women giggling in the distance and winced. He poured three blue pills into his palm and swallowed them dry. If this girl's night out was anything like last time, he might need more than a couple Xanax. As the old man recounted the events of the last time, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around.
"Take the night off, I've been assigned to keep an eye on them." A voice sullenly reported. Pagan felt as if an immense weight had been lifted, but simultaneously felt horrendously bad for the young man.
"What did you do to deserve this?" Pagan inquired. Chang Wufei folded his arms and scowled intensely. In the years that had passed, Wufei did not remain unchanged. He had gained a few inches of height, but was still much shorter than the elderly man. His muscles were sleek and deadly beneath his Preventer uniform jacket. His black hair was still pulled into a severe knot, but the ponytail came to the middle of his back.
"Its not important," He replied. Pagan arched an eyebrow.
"Be careful , young man, you keep bottling up the little issues you'll turn that hair of yours gray fairly quickly," He warned. A brow escalated towards Wufei's hairline, and he allowed a throaty, monosyllabic sound. It nearly passed as a chuckle. Pagan laughed nervously as he glanced up at his own purely white hair.
"Relena's always been a handful," He added with an awkward chuckle. There was a high pitched, girlish squeal in the distance. Wufei closed his eyes and inwardly cringed.
"I can imagine," He muttered. Pagan offered a sympathetic smile for a moment before hurrying back towards the châteaux. Wufei heard something that sounded like 'Good Luck!' as the door slammed. He sighed and leaned against car. He glared at the girls from a distance, memorizing their appearance---he might be forced to find them later. Even with her image slightly toned down, Dorothy was the most recognizable. Wufei chalked it up to the ferocity of her eyebrows. Though the tight black jeans and even tighter blue corset top made her look twice as sinister--or cyanotic, Wufei was not entirely sure. Not to mention that the spikes in her heels could be made of Gundanium. Wufei could almost see why Maxwell thought her…nether regions…had teeth in them. Wufei tilted his head with a smirk. Perhaps he would not be too horrible to find out for himself. Relena's royal face was hidden behind a mane of curled hair and make up. The hair tumbled to her bare shoulders and down her back. Wufei was glad she had opted for less conspicuous clothing than Dorothy. If anyone was going to kidnap the Vice Foreign Minister that night, they'd be motivated more by her infinitely long legs and infinitesimally short skirt than politics. There was another girl with straightened brown hair, and barely contained curves. Wufei was trying not to study the girl was looked as if she'd been poured into the tubetop and short shorts. It was when he ignored the way her sandals wrapped around her shapely legs that he realized that it was Catherine. Trowa Barton's sister. Wufei blanched. He could almost feel Trowa's wrath. Wufei shifted his attention to the next woman. She wore form fitting jeans and sensible shoes, but her entire midriff was exposed. And a belly-button ring glinted in the distance. Sally tossed her loose blonde hair with a smirk. Sally? Navel ring? Half-naked? That's Odd. He was more surprised to see her out of her braids than anything else. Noin wore jeans with cowboy boots and gold tank. She had a flask on her hip and something else in her hands. She neared him as the other girls were still chatting and giggling.
"Sally brought you these," She said tossing him a bundle of clothing. Wufei furrowed his brow.
"Why?"
"You'll stick out like a sore thumb in your uniform," She explained. Wufei's scowl deepened, "You mean I have to go inside?"
Noin nodded wordlessly and took a swig from her hipflask. She nodded her head towards Sally.
"What did you do? Comments about women again?"
Wufei held out the shirt with a disdainful glare, "Something like that."
He noticed the shorts. They were shorter than his tastes allowed for, and made of a stretchy synthetic material. He grimaced and rolled the shorts back up. As atrocious as the outfit was, he'd worn worse. He went into the house to change.
The girls giggled as he passed. "Hi Fei!" They chorused. He rolled his eyes and entered the house.
"Alright girls, what's the game plan?" Sally asked. Dorothy looked up from adjusting her corset.
"Well, we've got a reservation at The Cheesecake Factory. Then I've got a special surprise for my ladies!" Dorothy grinned. Relena cut her a suspicious look, but couldn't supress the smile. Catherine squealed with excitement.
"A surprise? "
Sally and Noin were a little less enthused. "Surprise?"
Dorothy's grin became Cheshire-esque, "Don't you trust me?"
"Dear…God…" Sally stated. Dorothy's face fell. Did they really not trust her? However, the blonde noted that Sally was not referring to her. She followed the older woman's gaze. She turned around. A single eyebrow shot up. The material of Wufei's shirt clung to his muscles for dear life. It was sleeveless, exposing his cut biceps. The shorts he wore were a little longer than knee length, but he still felt exposed. The material seemed to draw attention to his…cash and prizes. Needless to say, the girls didn't mind. Wufei just huffed, muttering something about women as he passed the flock. The girls were still in stunned silence. That is until an already tipsy Noin shouted, "Whoo! Look at dat ass!"
The girls erupted in laughter. Wufei sighed.
It was going to be a long night.
--------
"We are not taking this chopper," Heero resolved, "It's against protocol."
"Since when has Heero Yuy cared about protocol?" Duo questioned. A single brow disappeared into Heero's brow. "Always?"
"Like that time you 'assigned' recruits to pick up your dry cleaning?"
"That was once," Heero replied. How did Duo find out about that? He would have to be more careful who he gave such assignments too. Duo gave him a sly smile
"Then there was that time you used the company card to buy doughnuts…"
Heero arched an eyebrow, "I was hungry."
"And that time when you did the same but bought the complete boxed set of every Harry Potter book ever written…"
"They are very good novels," He said defensively.
"And I suppose that you just enjoy listening to the soothing sounds of Princess Britney Hilary Lollipop Star?"
Heero narrowed his eyes into slits, snatches the keys to the helicopter and storms out the door. Duo grins, mimicking the shooting of a basketball.
"He shoots, he scores!"
Finding the armored limo was decidedly easy, considering it was under Preventer guard…and they were both Preventers. Duo trailed it at a high altitude, keeping off of the limos radar. Even with Wufei on guard, Duo could follow unnoticed. It was his specialty. Heero sat as co-pilot with his arms crossed and head bowed. He looked asleep, but Duo knew that the perfect soldier was mentally analyzing how he got himself into his current situation. Duo grinned to himself. He switched an audio feed from the limo for more entertainment. It had been bugged and scrambled to all but Preventer wavelengths: Ideal for eavesdropping.
"You mean like fooling around in a car while he's driving?" Relena questioned. Heero's eyes snapped open.
"No, that's road head!" Two voices said in unison. It sounded like Dorothy and Catherine. There was a brief pause. Most likely for the two to look at each other. Less than a moment later the whole car was full of boisterous laughter.
"Have you ever heard of dead head?" Sally's voice questioned after the laughter died down a bit. No one spoke up Duo assumed they were shaking their heads no.
"It's when the girl is driving, and she leans over to give head. The guy in turn steers the car."
"Oh! I didn't know there was a name for that!" Noin exclaimed. There were squeals of surprise, laughter and an indiscernible voice shouting: You Whore!
"I'm not a whore! I only did it once!" She exclaimed.
"With who? Zechs?" Dorothy questioned.
"Sexy Zechsy!" Catherine sang dreamily, "I'd do him everyday of the week."
"Twice on Sunday," Dorothy added.
"I'd do him on his desk at work," Sally stated.
"Or on the roof of his car," Catherine swooned, "I could just eat him up….Or perhaps let him eat me up."
There was a series of lewd giggles, and awkward coughing from Relena.
"Have you seen how tall he is? I bet he's packing one heck of a beam saber," Sally said with a smile in her voice. Relena was making retching noises. Dorothy inhaled sharply, "By beam saber she means PENIS!!"
Relena clapped her hands over her ears, "La la la la! Dancing leperchauns and lollipops, la la la!" She continued singing random phrases and syllables as Dorothy just kept yelling "Penis!" repeatedly. Catherine jumped in, "Big fat brother cock!"
"Didn't you want to have sex with him too?" Heero asked sneaking a sly look at Duo who was laughing hysterically at the women's antics. Duo's laughter subsided and he countered, "Oh you know you'd do him too."
"Nah. I'm not much for….sword fighting…" Heero replied. Duo's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.
"What do you mean by…?" He began to ask, but the expression on his face proved him to be sorting through his library of odd euphemisms.
"Sword would be another word for….oh. OHHHH! Ew."
"You know, that Heero isn't bad looking either," Noin stated It sounded like a desperate ploy to stop the obsessing over Zechs.
"Yeah, I'd do him," Catherine stated simply.
"You say that about anyone," Dorothy replied.
"Not you," Catherine said.
"Darling, you couldn't handle me." Did Duo hear hinted lesbian flirting? Hot! He wished suddenly that there was a video feed from the limousine. Heero was more perturbed that his physical attributes were still up for discussion with the other girls in the car.
"I could grate cheese on his abs then eat him," Sally said plainly. There was agreement, and a pause. Relena must have looked upset.
"Don't sweat it, darling, he's got an ass that looks like he's been slammed against a brick wall! You don't want that! What about that Duo? He's a little touched in the head…"She began
"Yeah, but he's still a hot, hot piece of ass," Catherine said, "You could bounce a quarter off of it."
"Yes--that is art right there," Noin agreed, "Besides--he probably has a bigger penis than Heero."
If Heero had been drinking anything, he would have spit it out all over the controls of the helicopter.
-------
This is ridiculosity. I'm having fun with it. I'm endlessly sorry for the wait. It's been a busy summer, and I just recently got inspired. I hope I didn't loose my reader
Syl
