Volume 2, Episode 1: Yao Xiao Long
The boy grasps the huge log and heaves it into the air.
Focusing his power, the kids leaps up and smashes the log into piles of wood with a single kick, which fall into a perfect pile.
I marvel with awe at the kid on my scroll. The kid, Tanton, is the main protagonist on my favorite anime show, Dragon Boy. What I like about this kid is that he's got a tail like me. Well, his tail is a monkey's, like Sun Wukong, and mine is a cat's tail.
He's strong, like me.
He's young, like me.
Basically, he's like my idol.
"ACK! You call THAT a katana?!"
I turn to my older brother, Shadow "Black" Belladonna. He's 4 years old, like me. My name is Solar Xiao Long. You can just call me Yao.
Black's cat ears are up straight. Guess he got the wrong book. He's not really into Ninjas of Love. He then gets another book. When I look at the title, it's too late to warn him.
"GAH! DAD! WHY DID YOU LEAVE THIS OUT?!"
1001 Ways To Make Sex Better. Definitely one of Dad's favorite.
Although, you could be confused.
Dad really isn't, per se, a guy.
Her name is Yang Xiao Long. Sound familiar?
I thought so.
So she fell in love and married this girl called Blake Belladonna. She's basically a Faunus, a human with animal traits. For her Faunus trait, Blake has cat ears.
Alright, now it's time to figure this all out.
Human + Faunus =…..
Come on, you do the math.
Yep. A Human-Faunus Hybrid. That's what me, Black, and my 12-year-old sister, Li Belladonna are.
Well, you may here that our two species really…..don't go so well.
Now I know what you're thinking.
They might call us what they call all Faunus.
You've possibly heard of a guy called Adam, right?
Well, Li sorta had a final confrontation with him and…
How do I put this?
She was standing.
He wasn't.
Yeah. Ouch.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure my half-brother Rudolph (I call him that rather than cousin) already told you about me.
Well, I guess my own family should get their own part.
Rudy's basically focused on continuing his mom's legacy.
But me?
I plan to become the strongest warrior on Remnant this generation has ever seen!
As I get ready to go to sleep, I notice one of the shirts Dad got me. I take it. On the front, it says, "No War Except In Bed".
Hmmm. Needs something.
I rip of the bottom part that says, "Except In Bed".
No War. Much better.
As Black and I go to sleep, I turn off the lights. A few hours later, I'm still wide awake. Then, I hear noises.
Eh. No big deal. Besides, I hear them all the time.
When it reaches Black, he hides his head under his pillow. I snicker. It's funny the way his cat ears stick out.
Voices. Possibly Mom and Dad "doing it". I listen closely.
"Aww. Does Kitty want her milk?"
"Purrrrrrrr."
Yep. They're doing it alright.
If I'm correct, that type of milk doesn't come from a bottle. Or a cow.
Bet you wish I hadn't said that, huh?
"AH! YES! OH, YES! SUCK HARDER! I LOVE THE WAY YOU SUCK MY JUGS!"
Well, truth be told, Dad didn't actually say jugs.
I'll just give you a hint:
Starts with a T, rhymes with kitties.
Aaaaaaannnnnddddd, they're going hardcore.
"Mew. Nyaaaaaaah, I love you, my blondie beauty."
"*Gasp*"
"Hmm? Something wrong, my-MMMPH!"
"MMMMMMMMMMMUAH! ILOVEYOULOVEYOULOVEYOU! KISS ME! KISS ME RIGHT NOW OR ELSE I'LL F*** YOU TILL YOU C**!"
Woah. Okay, might wanna work on the language, Dad.
"YANG, WAI-MMMMMM! MMMMMMMMMPGUH! I'M NOT-MMMMMMMMPH! I CAN'T BREA-MMMMMPHAAAA!"
"MMMMMMM….CHU…..MWAH!"
After the kissing noises, I hear some clothes rustling.
"*GASP* YANG, WHAT'RE YOU…."
"Hmm? Like what you see?"
"You…you're na….n…..nak…"
"COME ON, GIRLFRIEND, THOSE BRA AND PANTIES ARE COMING OFF!"
"YANG, NO! DON'T TOUCH MEEEEEE!"
After a little struggle, and some tickling noises, I swear I hear a little BOING.
"HYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
"HOLY SH**! THEY'RE SO HUGE! AND BEAUTIFUL! JUST LIKE MINE! OH, I MUST SQUEEZE THEM!"
"NYAAAAAHHHHH! NO, PLEASE! YANG, LET GO OF THEM! LET GO! STOP! IT HURTS! NOOOOO! EEEEYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Then I hear something like a loud SPLURCH!
"Ulph!"
I try my hardest not to rush to the bathroom and throw up.
"Aww, so cute! Milk, for me? Oh, my adorable wife, you shouldn't have!"
I then hear a loud sucking noise.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH! YAAAAAAAAANNNNNNGGGGG!"
The noises continue as I drift off. I hear some moans, giggles, purrs, laughs, kisses, and the sound of something slapping together. Along with something that sounds like a SMACK.
"NYAH!"
"COME ON, BABY! MOVE THAT A** ON MY P**** OR I'LL SLAP IT AGAIN!"
After minutes after a second SPLURCH, it continues. Man, Dad is so dominant in her relationship.
"OH YES! RIGHT THERE, SWEETIE! OOOHHH, YOUR V***** IS SO WET AND STICKY! MAKE ME C**! OH, F***, IT FEELS SO GOOD WHEN I ROCK MY HIPS AGAINST YOURS! OH YEAH, YEAH, YEAAAAHHHH!"
Then I hear primal cries of pleasure.
"HA! HAAA! NYAAAAAAHHHHHH! YAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNGGGG!"
"BLAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY!"
SPLUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRCH!
After minutes of panting, I hear a soft wet SMOOCH. Then silence. Poor Black. He must be totally scarred for life.
I sigh as I go to sleep. For real this time.
…
When I wake up, I see that I'm the first one to do so.
After I get dressed and everything, I go get my parents up.
"Hey, you guys, it's time to get uAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHH!"
Oh, right.
I completely forgot.
My parents are still in bed, and still knocked out and asleep.
But that's not why I screamed.
There are no sheets on the bed whatsoever.
Plus, Mom and Dad are both N-A-K-E-D.
Yang is on top of my mom, hugging her sweetly. Plus, the view of her completely exposed gives me a good look of her….
*Gulp*
Very…..Big….Posterior…..
My nose basically vomits up blood as I faint and fall to the ground.
Yep. That's branded into my brain, alright.
Not a good way to start your day.
…
"There, all better!"
I wake up on the couch, next to a cat-eared young girl.
Li Belladonna. My 12-year-old sister.
"Huh. I could've sworn I locked the door to Mom and Yang's room. Oh well, mistakes are made."
Oh right, one more thing. Dad wants to be seen as a father figure rather than a second mother. That's why Li calls her by name.
"I know. Looking at a girl's butt is not a good way to begin your morning."
"Yeah. I know." I cough. I hold the ice pack Li has at my nose. "Especially if it's a big blonde 'pervert' woman's one."
"Tell you what? What say we keep this our little secret?"
"Definitely. Believe me, if they were awake and saw me, my humiliation and embarrassment would be on an entirely different level! I'd be grounded for weeks!"
"Well, I say we never speak of this again."
"Yep. I agree."
"Never speak of what again?"
Oh crap! Dad!
As she looks at us in curiosity, Li and I can feel our faces turn red.
"Um, hey Yang."
"I…..uh…..she…..err…."
Wait, is Dad…..smiling?
"Oh, I get it!" She smirks. "You were checking me out this morning, weren't you?"
Oh shoot. I am in SO much trouble!
"How much did you see of me?" She giggled. "Maybe my big cute boo-."
"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" I blurt out before she can finish. "I WAS GONNA WAKE YOU AND MOM UP BUT THEN I SAW BOTH OF YOU COMPLETELY NUDE WITH NO BEDSHEETS COVERING YOU AND YOU WERE ON TOP OF HER AND IT WAS IN PLAIN VIEW AND MY EYES SLIPPED! I SWEAR! I DID IT BY MISTAKE!"
"Oh. So then," She bends down to me. "I bet you heard us spending a romantic time last night. You must've heard us having ways of pleasing ourselves." She licks her lips. "Very inappropriate ways…."
"DAD, I'M YOUR SON!" I yell. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO HEAR OF THIS STUFF! COULDN'T YOU WAIT FOR ANOTHER 14 YEARS!?"
"Ehehe. Oopsies. My bad."
As Dad leaves, I fall back into the couch, breathing heavily.
"Man, that was close."
"Tell me about it." Li says. "One of these days, Yang's gonna basically be BEGGING me to lose my virginity. Ew."
"HEY, IS THIS MY SHIRT?!"
"EEP!"
I hear Dad come back downstairs, holding the "No War Except In Bed" shirt that I ripped.
Oh. Wait a minute…..She didn't give it to me…..
How did THAT get there!? No wonder it was too big for me!
Dad puts it on over the shirt she has on. The upper part stretches outward due to her….impressive figure.
"Did you rip this?" She asks me.
Ulp. This is it. I am SO grounded!
"Y…..Yes."
"I LOVE IT!"
Uh…..Huh?
She lifts up the shirt underneath so that its at the length of the ripped outer shirt. It exposes her bellybutton completely.
"It makes me look sooooooooo sexy!" Dad coos, poking her bellybutton. She then hugs me tightly. Oh no, not right between the upper chests! Why, Dad, WHY?!
After many thank yous, Dad lets me go, allowing me to breathe away from her bosom.
"Ooooooh, Blakey is gonna love this!"
As Dad runs off, the message on the shirt remains clear to me.
No War.
And I'll make sure that there IS no war around ALL of Remnant.
With my brother and cousins beside me.
Because that's what any hero would be.
Because that's what Tanton the Dragon Boy would do.
