Devine Intervention

Chapter seven

We're down to the last couple of weeks until Pete has to return to heaven and I still can't remember much of anything at all. I know he's been trying to help by thinking about it but, as far as I can tell he hasn't been able to come up with anything either. I'm worried about him. He just looks so sad anymore. He's so happy all the time that I used to think being down once in a while would do him some good but the truth is this does neither of us any good. I don't like him being all upset like this. He's quiet and mostly absent through our practices and tries his hardest not to make me mad. But with this little time left, I don't want to be mad at him. I can't being myself to be mad at him at all. I wish he'd tell me what's wrong but whenever I ask him he just tries to play it off like he's okay.

I wonder if he's worried about me. Maybe that's it. He's worried how I'll take it once he's gone. I don't want him to worry like this anymore. I'm actually staring to get mad. I pause in my practice, coming to a stand still on the ice. "Pete."

He appears beside me. "Yeah?"

"Are you worrying about me? I mean after you have to go back to heaven again, are you worrying about what I'll do?"

His eyelids are shaking. I could about cry at the lost look on Pete's face. He's grown on me over these past few months and sure, having him disappear is going to be hard but I have to be brave so that he doesn't worry about me. "You don't have to worry like that," I say, watching as his face moves up a bit, his eyes connecting with mine. "I'll be fine. When you're gone, I'll be okay."

He nods at this, somehow looking even more sad. Could it be that this was the cause of his problem to begin with? Instead of worrying about me, he just doesn't want to leave me? Could that be it?

"Pete," I say again as he looks at me, curious. "Are you…" But a voice interrupts us. I look over toward where I thought I heard the sound come from and there stands Hideaki.

Pete doesn't even growl or protest when he sees him. He simply disappears back inside of me. I force a smile and glide over to him. This has been my other most recent problem. Hideaki-kun has been acting weird around me lately as well. He's been distant and whenever I talk about something that could happen in the future he gets quiet and his face holds a sad look. I'm starting to wonder if this is another relationship gone wrong.

"Hey you," I say, feigning happiness.

He nods at me. "I need to talk to you about something."

My mouth falls open. Oh great, here it comes, the big dramatic break up scene that I was hoping wouldn't happen with us. I had been starting to think this was going to be the relationship, the one that would last. I guess I was wrong.

"Don't get me wrong. I like you a lot. Hell no, that's a lie. I love you. But…well, you may want to sit down,"

I nod at him and take a seat on the bench, taking my skates off to talk to him. "What's the matter? Did I do something?" I ask, Sasaki shaking his head ferociously.

"No, honestly this is going to sound lame and cheap on so many levels. It's me it's not you," He takes a seat beside me, looking ashamed.

He turns to me and takes my hands, looking down at our hands clasped together and then our eyes meet. "My family is moving to America."

My eyes widen and my heart almost stops. "What?" I get to my feet, beginning to get extremely upset. He sighs, standing up after me and reaches out, taking my hands in his again.

"I didn't know that this was going to happen until last week, honestly. I won't be leaving for another three weeks."

My eyes widen at this. The exact same amount of time left until Pete has to go back to heaven. I feel my heart begin to sink lower and lower. Everyone is going to leave. Hideaki's grip on my hands tightens, getting me to look up at him. His eyes plead with me. I know what it is he wants from me and freeze up, wondering what Pete is thinking. He appears beside me, looking about ready pass out. "Are you seriously thinking about it?" I narrow my eyes at the boy and he nods, looking upset now.

I look into Hideaki's eyes, the amber pools shining with sorrow. His hand lightly traces the side of my jaw. "I'm sorry that it has to be like this."

I nod, my heart feeling as if it's being squished inside of his hand. But I know it's not in his control and that there's nothing I can do. His eyes soften a little bit as his hand comes to rest, covering my cheek. I blink a couple of times, trying to keep myself from crying in front of him. I can't cry because then he'll be upset and I don't want that.

I give him my biggest smile before leaning in and pressing my lips gently against his. It's not the romantic first kiss I thought it would be. Something doesn't feel right. It's like I'm kissing the wrong person or something. Not that it's not a good first kiss because it definitely is, but I guess it might just be that under these circumstances…no, that's not it either.

I back away, my hand rubbing the side of his face. He leans into me a little, as if this will prevent him from leaving. But, we both know that's impossible. No matter how much I'd rather he be able to stay with me, he has to go.

I grin. "Do your very best work in America," I tell him, bracing my hands on his shoulders in an attempt at encouragement.

He nods back at me, handing me a slip of paper. "All of the information you'll need is on that paper, if you want to come and see me off. The date, the time, the correct airport, everything. If you do come, I'll give you a better kiss then!" He gives me a playful wink and I can't help a smile as I nod.

"Sure, I'll be there."

As I walk home from the rink, I can't help but feel more and more depressed. So, Pete and Hideaki are both going to be leaving me on the same day huh? That's how it's going to be? Pete appears beside me, I know he's there but I don't look up. I don't want him to see my face, not even if he all ready knows what I feel. I won't have it.

"Tazusa." He says, I clear my throat meaningfully.

"What do you want?" I hear him make a shocked sound.

"Why are we suddenly going back to the way things used to be? You're going to start calling me names and eating tomatoes and things like that again, huh?" He's trying his hand at humor, so I know he's trying to cheer me up and I'll give him that, but I don't want it right now.

"I'll do whatever it is that I feel like doing," I place my bag down at the foot of my bed and flop down onto the comforter. My heart feels like someone is crushing it, prolonging every second to make it all the more painful. I want to cry, I really do and can feel it as my eyes begin to brim with tears.

Here Hideaki-kun is going to leave and I can't even sort out the way that I feel. What is it that I feel for him exactly? I know that it can't be love because when I kissed him, I felt no sparks. I'm told that the kiss with the boy you fall in love with would be full of energy, something neither of you could stop. But I hadn't felt that when I had kissed him. It felt more like a protection device, something I had merely done to keep him from being upset, to shield his heart. It did not feel like a romantic kiss. I lift my head a little, so I don't love him then, that much is settled. Now, what is it that I feel?

I close my eyes and try to think about it but all I keep seeing is snapshots of Pete or snapshots of Hideaki-kun and it all jumbles up so fast that I don't know what to do with it. I tug at my hair in frustration, rolling over onto my back and staring at the ceiling for a few seconds. But it's not long before Pete appears above me, looking concerned.

I make a face. "Can't you see that I'm trying to think right now?"

He nods. "I can see that clearly. But you look so troubled. Talk to me about it, that helps in these situations."

I only feel more agitated than before. I want him to just leave me alone for a while, just so I can think by myself. "Pete, shut up. You're so loud!"

He whines. "Why do I have to? All I want to do is help you!" I can feel myself begin to shake but I don't know if it's because I'm angry or because I want to cry so badly.

If I could I'd reach out and grab his collar and just shake him until he shuts up. But I can't do that, it won't have any effect on him.

"Come on Tazusa, talk to me…please talk to me. I want to know your problems. I want to help you through it! I'm sorry that he's going to have to leave you, really I am…"

I don't know what possess me to do this but I suddenly lean up, capturing his lips with my own. I don't feel his lips against mine of course but I know they're there and just knowing that makes it worth the while. Originally the kiss was only intended as a tool just to keep him quiet but it turned into something along the way and even if I can't feel his lips against mine, the spark is there. I feel it, only a little and only just for a few seconds, but I do feel something there.

I try not to let it show on the outside, but on the inside I'm so messed up. How could I have kissed Pete just now and felt something? Why was it that I chose to kiss Pete to begin with? There are so many other ways to get him to be quiet. I could have just eaten a tomato or told him to shut up until he listened, but no, I had to chose this route.

Great, now how am I supposed to explain myself to him? Brilliant reply: I can't! There is no way for me to explain a random thing like that, especially when I had felt something while doing it. I pull back and to make matters worse, Pete is just staring at me, looking shocked.

"T-Tazusa!" He is questioning me and I know why. It's perfectly understandable that he'd be questioning such a rash move like that. But I can't answer his question if I don't understand it myself. I stand up and try to take a walk but he places a hand on my shoulder. I turn to face him.

"Tazusa, even if you leave, you know I'll be going with you right? We're stuck together!" Something in his eyes changes at this moment and I feel I know what's going to happen. His hand moves over mine, his fingers lacing together with my fingers. He steps closer. "If there's any regrets you have it'd be a good time to tell me because in about ten seconds, I'm going to kiss you."

I am stunned to silence. I don't understand how he got "I like you" out of that kiss just now. Wait, what had he gotten out of that kiss just now? If I had felt something during a kiss that was merely intended to silence him then what had he felt? I don't know what's happening here. Pete's getting so close, closer than he's ever been and surprisingly, a little at a time, I feel myself giving into it. I feel like I want to kiss him. I know that he wants to kiss me. I know that there are feelings there for me. Why else would he care? But if I don't know how I feel then letting him kiss me isn't something that I should be doing is it? I can't lead him on when I don't know my feelings. It's all happening so fast that I don't know what to think. I don't know any other way to react than the way I do at this moment.

Pulling back, I swing and slap myself hard in the face. What's funny about it this time is that I'm not sure whether I'm doing it to punish him or to punish myself. It's the first time I've ever hurt myself to get at him and have felt like this afterward.

"Tazusa…" He sounds upset.

"I'm sorry…" I wave it off. I've had enough of this for one day. Kiss me then leave me, kiss me then leave me. I'm getting tired of it. If they really all cared so much they wouldn't leave. Now I know that I'm being irrational but I don't care at all. I want both of them to stay with me. I don't want to be alone.

But the only thing that I do know right now is that I need time to sort this all out on my own. That means no Hideaki-kun speaking to me and no Pete trying to be comforting. All I need is some air and I can think all this through. That's simply the way it must be if they must leave. "Pete, just leave me alone for a while okay? I need time to think about this and you are not helping at all currently." I don't look at Pete but instead stare at the floor until I hear him make a disappointed sound and then he disappears.

I take an early shower that afternoon and then go to bed at about six, setting my alarm for that time in the morning tomorrow. Maybe a good run will help me clear my jumbled thoughts. So much has happened in the course of this one day that I'm having trouble coming to terms with it. First I find out that I guy I thought I loved is going to move away and then when I kissed him I didn't feel anything. So, as if that wasn't confusing enough I later had kissed Pete just to get him to shut his mouth and what possessed me to do that I'll never know. At that, when I kissed the ghost, even though I had not been able to feel his lips on mine, knowing that I was kissing him at least, I had felt something. I felt the spark that I didn't feel when I had kissed Hideaki-kun. But why is that? Is it because there are feelings that I have for Pete? All this time, if that is true, how could I not have noticed being in love? This is so confusing! I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Falling asleep to silence that night, I wake up the next day feeling very little like I've actually rested. I sit up and slowly get out of bed, going and getting changed.

I take a long run, turning my music up just loud enough to hear. I am more confused than I've ever been in my whole life. I really care about both of these boys. But to me…who is the one that means the most? I mean, I obviously can't be with either one of them. I have no chance either way. But out of the two, the one I have real feelings for is…who exactly?

The next couple days are the same for me, up until I begin to realize that I miss Pete's ranting more than anything in the world. I am lonely when he is not talking with me. I constantly want to open my mouth and say something to him, only to remember that I had told him to leave me alone. And as I am thinking about Pete, I am thinking less and less about Hideaki-kun.

It's not that I don't care about him at all, on the contrary, I thought he was a good guy and a wonderful friend, but I'm starting to see that maybe that's all we were going to be. All we are ever going to be.

And when it all becomes more complicated in my mind, I begin to think how Hideaki is just going overseas to a place his family likes better than here and he could get on a plane at anytime and be able to come back here.

But it's a different story with Pete. When Pete leaves, he is gone for good. There will be no long-distance phone calls or letters. I can't get on a plane and fly to heaven to see him.

When Pete leaves, Pete will go to a place that I can't go to until it's my time and I don't want to die any time soon, so I am hoping that's not for a while yet. However, as the day draws nearer and nearer and I have less and less time with Pete, I am beginning to miss him more than anything all ready. I don't want him to go away.

The kicker is, this all seems so familiar. It's like it's happened before. It's like I'm losing Pete all over again and when I try to recall this feeling, I am overcome with pain that I can't get past. I can't help it. This had to have happened before, no matter what Pete says. Because lately, just like Pete had been up until recently, I've been remembering things that I cannot tell have really happened.

At first it was only little snapshots, little stills of images in my mind that I can see having happened before. But I couldn't place them and that's what had been driving me crazy since Hideaki told me he was going to leave. Then it had escalated to the point where I'd space out and suddenly begin to have a short flashback or something to that effect. When that had finally begun to fade, all the pieces were coming together like a big puzzle.

I shake my head, continuing on down the street and turn my music up to the highest volume, trying to escape the madness in my mind, if only for a moment. It seems that the harder I've thought about it, the less it is I actually remember.

I lay down on my bed after the run, knowing that Pete is standing at my bedside and is looking worried.

"Pete." I say. He seems to be ignoring me. "Pete, answer me."

He sounds pouty. "Why? Aren't I just a burden? I'm just an annoying, perverted ghost that's always in your way?"

I turn and look at him, a smile filling my face. He seems to be making me feel better without even having tried to do so. I don't understand how it is he came to be someone who understands what it is I need so well. "You sure are."

His face falls, making me giggle. "But that's why I like you. You're okay sometimes." He looks back at me again, trying to understand what I'm saying. We come to a silent understanding.

"I want to make every moment staring from this moment until the moment you have to leave count, Pete."

He nods at me. "I'm glad. I do too Tazusa." I don't think I'm going to cope well with it when Pete's gone. I really can't stand the fact that he's leaving. It almost dwarfs how I felt when I found out that Hideaki was going to move. This feeling, I can't explain it, but it's so familiar. I wish I could place it. I wish I could sort it out because then I could put Pete at ease.

I know he's confused about that kiss and I know that he wants me to elaborate, but I'm just not sure that I am ready to do that yet. However, I do want to know what is going on in his head. I want to understand how he feels. I think I've got a good idea all ready, but it's never really clear with him.

"Pete?" I ask as the blond boy smiles down at me, looking the best kind of casual he probably can muster.

"Yeah?"

I grin. "Tell me what you feel."

Looking shocked, he recoils a bit. "What?"

I nod, as if trying to make some sort of decision clear. "Tell me what you feel." I simply repeat it without elaborating. He nods at length and sighs deeply but he doesn't say anything tangible.

"So you kind of have a thing for me, huh?" I ask, feeling my face begin to heat up as he grows embarrassed.

"Nah," He states, waving his hand at me. "No way. I love you. For every reason I can think of, and for absolutely no reason at all." It's so serious. I've never heard any feelings conveyed more truthfully. He wants me to know something that he isn't saying, since I've been doing that to him lately, I decide to let it go.

"Ahh Pete," I take a deep breath here. "When I've figured it out, I will tell you what I feel, but when that time comes, you have to be ready for it, all right? I don't want to have to answer back if you're going to dodge me or ignore me."

He chuckles and then nods his head. "I'm more than ready for it, so I'll be more than ready for it then too."

The next couple of weeks go by rather smoothly. Spending summertime at the pool going swimming, at the rink practicing, at home listening to music or being with Mika. Before I know how much time has gone by, it is two days before Hideaki's plane is scheduled to take off and also two days before Pete has to leave.

I lay in bed that night, Pete laying opposite of me, facing my way. I've been shaking again. Every single time I think he's going to leave me I start trembling. Of course I know that this can only mean one thing. But I want to say it to him. He told me how he felt right to me, not worried about being embarrassed or whether I might get mad or not. So, I don't want to be a coward. Sakurano Tazusa never hides.

I stare into Pete's big blue eyes. He's doing his best to remain completely still. I know what he wants, but we know it's impossible. He can't hug me without having a body to begin with. I know that he can tell I'm upset and I know that he wants to do something, so I offer him this. "Pete, promise to think about me in heaven?"

His eyes widen a little bit. He slides away from me but only for a few seconds until it sinks in and then he moves back closer, his eyes closing. His mouth curves up into a small, caring smile. "It wouldn't be paradise without you."

I smile. "But do you promise?"

His eyes open, locking onto mine. "Of course."

But I am still not satisfied.

"I want to hear you say it. Say 'I promise'."

He knows that I believe in what he says and he understands that what I want is some closer. "No matter where it is I go," He begins, catching my attention. "I will always be thinking about you. I promise."

I feel tears come into my eyes, a pained smile working it's way across my face.

He reaches out a hand, stopping just shy of touching my eyelids. "Please don't cry. You know I can't do anything when you cry."

I nod my head, wiping the tears away and slide over closer to Pete, closing my eyes. "Thank you," He nods, disappearing back inside of me.

As much as I don't want it to, that day comes and I head to the airport feeling lower than low. Today's gotta be the day. If I don't tell him how I feel, I'll never have another chance. The taxi carries Pete and I all the way to the crowded airport and I have to run to find Hideaki's departure gate in time.

There he stands, looking around trying to find me. His parents are sitting in the seats next to where he stands and I run over just as they begin calling the zones for boarding. He turns and looks at me, a smile filling his features. I grin back.

"Hey you." I state.

"Hey Tazusa I'm glad that you came."

"I'm glad I came too. I'll miss you a lot." I tell him bluntly.

He nods his head at me, his eyes widening meaningfully. "I know that feeling."

He places a hand on the side of my face, the other around the luggage strap on the ground beside him. I look up into his eyes and give him the best apologetic smile I can manage. "I think it's best if we remain good friends, being on separate continents and all." I try my hand at a little humor and I see something in his expression give it away that this has hurt him. I can't put my finger on what it is that has betrayed him, but I know it was there.

"I understand. I still love you though,"

"Zone 4 passengers may now board," The announcer at the desk calls and we both look over. He turns back to me, looking hesitant.

"That's my zone," He whispers. "I've gotta board."

Biting down on my lip, I jump onto him, giving him a big hug. "Be safe and have fun in America. I'll be writing, so look out for my letters." He nods at this, his hand swiping against my cheek as he leans down, kissing my forehead lightly.

"I guess I'll be hearing from you later then, huh?" I nod at this, waving as he turns and walks away to board the plane. He looks over his shoulder, smiling when he can tell that I really will miss him and he gives a little wave back before disappearing down the boarding ramp.

I watch the plane being pushed out of boarding once all the passengers get on and then follow it as it taxis, sitting in a large window and watching it as it takes off to head overseas. I really hope he can have a good life in America. I hope he finds someone to love there, someone who will love him the way he deserves to be love because he is a good guy.

I'm sorry that it couldn't be me, but my heart just wasn't in it in the end I guess. When I think about it, my heart's really been in another place all along. I just couldn't admit it to myself and I couldn't say it out loud either. But, in my heart I know the truth. I have to say it, now more than ever. I'll never get another chance if I don't. I can't do that to him.

After making it though all of the checkpoints to get back out of the airport, I stand out in the fresh air, looking around at a loss for what to do in a time like this. How do you pick a "perfect" spot to confess to someone? How do you go about knowing when the right time is? I guess though that it depends on your situation and timing and all of that other junk. In my case, anytime before I'm too late is good enough.

I head to the park from the airport, sitting down next to the stream and taking my shoes off, I let my feet fall in. Pete appears beside me looking down upon me and then up towards the sky.

"It'll be time soon," He tells me.

My head shoots up at his words, my eyes connecting with his when he looks back down. "How soon?"

He shrugs. "I don't know exactly when."

"Pete, is there anyway to stay?"

His eyes narrow a bit. "Maybe there is."

We look at one another again. "I don't want you to have to go Pete."

He nods. "I don't want to leave you." My nails dig into the ground in frustration. Why am I putting it off? This is no time to be shy. I have to just gather my courage and shout it at him if that's how it must be done.

Suddenly, I look over, light beginning to surround Pete's body. I know what this means, he will very soon be going away too. His ghostly form begins to rise up away from me and I have to stand as he floats out over the water just to catch up with him. "Pete!" I shout as he starts to disappear. My hand reaches out toward him as if I could grab him and pull him back and that alone would keep him from going away.

"Tazusa," The Canadian says. "I love you."

I bite my lip, feeling my eyelids shaking. "You can't go! You can't! I…I love you too!" His face vanishes, becoming nothing more than the soul that's floating away to heaven. I lower my head, tears clouding my vision. If there was anyone who never should leave my side, it's him. There's no one I'd rather be with and now I'm going to be alone again. Pete, don't you kiss me and then leave me too!

All right guys come on! Reviews please! I'm dying here! Only constructive criticism and positive feedback as I do not believe it is right to just tear up one's hard work as if it means nothing. But anyway, you all want to find out what will happen to Pete and Tazusa, right?! Then get on it with the reviews and I will post the final chapter and Epilogue! Thanks for reading and please, please, please review this story. It's my longest story and it has the least amount or reviews. Please appease me and just say something nice!