Chapter 8
Johnny jumped out of the squad as Roy was putting it into park. He rushed into the day room, "Does anyone have Sara's phone number?"
Mike stood up, "I do."
Johnny strode over to the phone, "I need to call her." John was already picking up the phone. Mike walked over giving him the number from memory.
Chet looked over at Roy as he walked into the room, "What's going on?"
"The little girl from the fire," Roy paused briefly, "she didn't make it. Summer was her doctor; apparently she didn't take it well. Dr. Brackett said she left the hospital."
Chet looked over at Johnny's face as he spoke on the phone, "Sara, do you have any idea where Summer is?" He paused. "She lost a patient today, a three-year old child. No one knows where she is ." Captain Stanley walked passed Roy headed toward his office.
"I'll find her," Sara said on the phone.
"Sara, I am on duty or I would go." Johnny tried to explain feeling helpless.
"I'll find her. I will call you to keep you updated." Sara disconnected the call.
Chet got up from the couch and moved over to the sink. He dampened a towel and then opened a cabinet door, a puff of flour shot out getting Chet even as he tried to duck out of the way.
Marco looked at Chet, "Don't think John is up to a Phantom strike."
Chet looked over at John again, "I don't know if I have ever seen him look that tense."
Captain Stanley walked back in and put a hand on John's shoulder, "I called Detective Crockett. He knows what Doctor Skye looks like; he is going to put the word out to the patrol officers. If anyone sees her they will call the station."
"Thanks, Cap," Johnny looked around at his co-workers, his friends and knew they would be there for him.
Roy had to give it up to his partner; he was completely professional and focused for each run they took that evening. But, when they were just driving he watched Johnny scanning the streets looking for any sign of Summer. Sara had called the station twice giving John updates of where she had looked, but so far no one had reported seeing her. The sun was starting to set and it was getting cooler. Johnny was really starting to worry.
Marco met the squad as Roy backed into the bay. "John, Sara just called; she's got Summer."
John let out a deep sigh, the relief hitting him fast. "Is she okay? Where was she?"
"Sara said she found her at Griffith Park. She is upset, but physically seems okay." Marco said. "I called Linda for her and she is on her way over to meet them at Summer's apartment."
At John's questioning glance, Marco said, "Linda is a psychologist; she is the best person to help Summer process all of this right now. Sara said you could come by tomorrow on your day off."
John had trouble sleeping that night, he was worried about Summer. He almost wished for a call to keep his mind occupied, but the night passed quietly. Johnny changed in the locker room in the morning, planning on going straight to Summer's.
Roy put a hand on his partner's shoulder, "If there is anything I can do to help, just call me."
Johnny knocked on Summer's door. He wasn't surprised when Linda answered the door, but was surprised when she walked out into the hallway and closed the door behind her.
"Is everything okay?"
"I am glad you are here, I think you will be good for her, but don't be surprised if she doesn't let you near her." Linda said leaning back against the apartment door. "She is withdrawing in a way I haven't seen since her dad died. She doesn't want to talk about the girl, what happened after she died, or anything about how she is feeling. She is keeping us at arm's length. "
"What do you think I should do?" John asked Linda.
Linda looked into his eyes and knew this man loved her friend. There was no doubt in her mind. "Trust your instincts," Linda said starting to open the door.
John reached out to stop her, "Trust my instincts; that's it? You don't have any profound professional advice for me?"
"Nope," Linda opened the door leading John into the living room. Summer was sitting on the far end of the couch curled up looking at a blank TV screen. Summer stood up when Johnny walked in and backed up a step away from him.
Linda reached over and grabbed her and Sara's purse; looking toward Sara she nodded her head to the front door. They quietly let themselves out as Johnny stood looking at Summer. She held out her arm in a gesture to stop him from moving any closer. Her eyes had the look of a trapped animal. Johnny moved toward her, ignoring the extended arm.
"Don't," Summer whispered as she tried to back up another step, but came into contact with the wall.
Johnny moved her arm out of his way as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Stop, I don't want this," Summer said, her voice cracking as she fought tears.
John ran his hand under her hair rubbing the base of her neck and head. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. He pulled her closer to him tightening his embrace. He felt her body shake as the tears started to fall soaking his shirt. He stood stroking her hair for a few minutes and then moved her back to the couch so they could sit. He positioned himself so he could pull her into his lap. She buried her head into the nape of his neck and continued to cry. He held her tight, stroking her head and whispering in her ear, "I've got you, you're safe with me."
It was almost a full half hour before she stopped crying, a few minutes later he realized her breathing had slowed and she was asleep. He waited several more minutes to make sure she would stay asleep. He adjusted her slowly so he could pick her up and get off the couch. He carried her into the bedroom laying her gently down on the bed. He found an extra blanket in the closet and covered her up. He brushed back a piece of hair and just stood watching her for a few minutes. Then he went back into the living room and stretched out on the couch. The sleepless night quickly caught up with him and he was asleep just a few minutes later.
Johnny bolted up, wide awake. He listened intently trying to figure out what had woken him up. He heard Summer crying in the bedroom. He walked in and she was sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked up when he walked in. "I am sorry," she whispered. "I was dreaming about that little girl,"
Johnny walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed in, reaching up he gently guided Summer into the bed. He laid her down, wrapped her in his arms, her head against his chest. She looked up at him and he kissed her. He meant it to be a quick kiss, but she felt so amazing. She responded by pulling her body in closer to his and running her fingers into his hair. He deepened his kiss and tightened his embrace. She brought her other hand up and ran it along the edge of his collar and down his chest. He broke the kiss long enough to look into her eyes. He was sure they reflected the same passion he was feeling, but they were also tinged with sadness and grief. Johnny took a shaky breath and eased back just a little bit.
Summer looked up at him confused. He kissed her forehead and used his hand to lean her head back against his chest. "Today, you need rest." His voice was strained as he had to mentally work on restraining his own desire.
Summer hesitated, half wanting to push forward, but she smiled realizing the man holding her was putting her needs in front of his. She snuggled against his chest listening to his heart beat and felt completely safe in the arms of this man she knew she was starting to love. She was asleep in just a few minutes. It took John a bit longer, but soon he too was back asleep.
"Are you sure I can't talk you into going with us tomorrow morning?" John was getting ready to leave Summer's apartment. They had slept most of the day, enjoyed a quiet dinner watching a movie on TV, snuggling on the couch. He was heading home to try to get a few hours more sleep before meeting Roy and Chet for a day fishing trip. They were picking him up at 5:00 AM. He had asked Summer to come with him, but she was insisting it was a guy trip and she didn't belong.
"I am going to meet with Dr. Brackett first thing in the morning. I need to face this head on, and figure out how I move forward." Summer looked at him, determination dominating the emotions of her face.
Johnny felt pride as he looked at this beautiful woman. "That's my girl," he put his arm around her waist and pulled her close for another kiss. The passion was so quick to ignite between them, even from what should have been just a quick kiss. I love this girl, his heart screamed. Suddenly he desperately wanted to tell her.
"Summer, I," he stopped as panic set in; he could hear Dixie's voice telling him not to break Summer's heart. What if this was just from the emotions of the past 24 hours? "I'll call you tomorrow. If we get back early enough maybe we can have dinner."
Summer felt disappointment sink into her heart as Johnny walked out the door. For a moment she had really thought he was going to tell her he loved her. She shook her head; it had only been a couple of weeks, thinking love was crazy. She moved back toward her bedroom hoping she could get a bit more sleep before she went to Rampart in the morning.
Dr. Brackett saw Summer waiting by his office door when he walked in. If it is possible she looked even more nervous now than she had on her first day. "Good morning, Dr. Skye," Dr. Brackett unlocked his office door.
"Good morning, Dr. Brackett. Do you have a minute to speak with me, sir?" She was so nervous her voice quivered.
"Come on in," Dr. Brackett closed the door and moved to take a seat behind his desk.
Summer sat in a chair across from him, "I am sorry about yesterday. I have seen patients die before, but never one where I was directly in charge of their care," Summer started.
Dr. Brackett stopped her, "Summer, it is more than the way you reacted to one patient. I have watched you in the time you have been here at Rampart and you have a very bad habit of not taking care of yourself in the name of caring for your patients. How many times has Roy DeSoto brought you orange juice or food to keep you from passing out because you didn't take the time to take care of yourself?" Dr. Brackett looked at her. "You are not any good to your patients, if you can't be self-aware enough to take care of yourself."
Summer looked shocked, she hadn't realized anyone knew that Roy had brought her juice or food; she had never seen anyone around and he was good about pulling her into a private room. "Dr. Brackett, I am sorry, but you know as a woman, I have to work twice as hard, and be twice as prepared to be taken half as seriously."
"What I know is that you have to learn balance, or you will never make it in this profession."
Summer looked surprised, and shocked. "You don't think I have what it takes to be a doctor?"
"I don't think you have the skills yet to survive being a doctor. There is a difference in those statements." Dr. Brackett looked at her.
"How do I learn them?"
Dr. Brackett smiled, "Do you know what I did when I lost my first patient?"
"What?"
"I put my fist through a wall, and got a broken wrist for my stupidity," Dr. Brackett smiled at her. "I learned to lean on my colleagues, my friends, even a therapist on occasion; to learn how to deal with all the stress and emotions that go along with being a doctor. The good doctors never stop caring, and we never stop hurting when we lose a patient, we take it personally. But, we learn how to look at it to see if there was anything we could have done differently to save the patient, and we don't hold on to the guilt of the death."
Summer smiled as she pictured Dr. Brackett punching a wall, it actually fit what she thought of this man in front of her. "Thank you, Dr. Brackett."
"Why don't you go ahead and get back to work," Summer stood at Dr. Brackett's statement. "Summer," she turned to look at him. "When we are not around patients, you can call me Kel."
Summer smiled and walked out the door. A busy day in the ER kept her from thinking any further about the young patient who had passed.
