8:


It was a single story home and easy to navigate. Still Woody had a hard time keeping up with Buzz as the Ranger ran. "Slow down!"

"Jessie, Jessie, Jessie…"

Woody finally managed to grab Buzz's shoulder and pull him to a halt. "Will you chill? Man you're obsessed…"

"Says the guy who was willing to walk all the way to Berkeley."

"That's completely different!"

Soft footsteps could be heard and Buzz suddenly pushed him behind a cabinet. "Someone's coming!"

From their hiding place, the two watched a woman in crocheted slippers walk by. "She'll be back in school tomorrow…"

As her feet vanished, Woody turned to Buzz. "You've got to keep your head, Ranger! What…what would Commander Nebula say?"

Buzz shot him a look. "Commander Nebula is a cartoon character. And my show hasn't been on the air in…"

"Buzz! What would he say?"

Buzz sighed. Closing his eyes he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "He would say I'm letting my personal feelings affect my judgement. Blast, I know I'm better than this!"

Woody put his hand on his shoulder. "Aw Buzz, I know you love Jessie, but you've got to take a deep breath and calm down! Besides there's a dog around here somewhere, remember?"

"Yeah, Goliath."

"Exactly! That's the last thing we need!" Woody peered out from around the cabinet. There was a hallway extending outward from where they were. At the end was a door decorated with several vinyl Snoopy decals and a hanging nameplate that read LINDA.

"There's her room!" The Sheriff quietly motioned for Buzz to follow. "Okay," he said as they reached the door. "I'll count to three and then we'll go in!"

"Do we go in on three, or after three?"

"I don't care! After three!" He held up his fingers. "One, two…"

The door burst open, startling them both. Jessie ran out wearing a full length satin raspberry-pink dress, complete with ruffles, sash, and triangle collar. "Consarnit little demon spawn makin' me sit through a gol'blasted tea party and then criticizin' MY manners! I'll take all the daggum sugar I wanna…"

She whipped around to face them. Her cheeks were covered in magenta rouge, the tops above her eyelids were coated with deep purple, and bright red lipstick was smeared across her mouth. "I HATE TEA PARTIES!"

Woody began to laugh. He laughed so hard he had to hold his sides. Jessie growled. "You think this is funny?"

"It's a riot! Hey when you were drinking tea, did you make sure to stick your pinky out?"

Jessie lunged at him with a scream. "DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!"

Buzz grabbed her waist before she could tackle her brother. "Jessie…" He stood in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay? You're not hurt are you?"

"Hurt?" Jessie blinked in confusion. "Nah, I'm not hurt…"

Buzz breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'M MAD!" she screamed. "I'M MADDER THAN A SPANISH FIGHTIN' BULL AT A MATADOR PARTY! LOOK AT ME!"

Buzz turned to look at Woody. "We've got to get out of here!"

He nodded. "Do you have any idea where the car is?"

Jessie jabbed her thumb back toward the bedroom. "In there, but you ain't gonna like it."

Stepping inside, Woody looked around. Doll clothes, human clothes, games, DVDs and books completely covered the floor and every surface. "Wow, what a mess."

A pink plastic teapot with a face and two purple teacups lay nearby. "You're not going to yell at us too, are you?" asked the Teapot.

"Yell at you?"

"The Cowgirl who was in here before," said one of the Teacups. "She was really, really mad."

Woody held up his hands. "I'm just here to get my car."

"It's right there." Woody turned.

The Cowboy didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The car was covered in stickers and glitter. The front right tire had been pried off and was nowhere to be seen. The name "LINDA" had been written in red magic marker across the side.

"She…she trashed it."

"Linda has a hyperactive disorder," said the Teapot.

Woody pushed his hat back. "I can't take this home to Bonnie. And I can't drive this to Berkeley." He hung his head, squeezing his eyes shut. How would he ever get to Bo now? Oh Bo. I will get to you. I just gotta…

"Take the bus."

Woody opened his eyes and looked up. "What?"

The Gorilla was coming toward him. He stopped. "You want to go to Berkeley?"

"Y-yeah. That's where we were headed."

"There's a bus stop over on the next road. On Unkrich Avenue. It'll take you to Berkeley."

Woody felt his spirits lift. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

The Gorilla snorted irritably. "Just take that lunatic Cowgirl with you."


Outside of the bedroom. Jessie had shed the dress but her face was still covered in Linda's botched makeup job. As Woody stepped out he heard Buzz say, "Are you sure you're all right?"

"I told ya I'm fine, Buzz…"

They looked at Woody. "Well?"

He sighed. "New plan, you guys. Looks like we're heading to Unkrich Avenue." A large shadow fell over them. "What in the…"

Something was coming around the hall corner. Something with a canine shaped shadow. "Goliath!"

"Gol-whatty-what?" Jessie said in confusion. Buzz jumped in front of her, blocking her with his arm. "Buzz!"

Woody braced himself for whatever was about to attack, be it Pitbull or Great Dane or German Shepherd or…

Tiny apple-headed Chihuahua puppy? Woody nearly fell over in astonishment. "THAT'S Goliath?" He said as the smallest dog he had ever seen bounded up to them. He yipped and growled, then bounced back and forth playfully.

Buzz relaxed his defensive position. "I guess the name is meant to be ironic…"

Jessie shoved him out of the way. "CRITTER!" She shouted, running to the puppy. "You're so cute!"

Woody sighed. "All right, we've wasted enough time. Let's just get out of here. There's a doggy flap in the door we came in."

Jessie was busy hugging Goliath. "I don't wanna leave! I wanna play with the puppy!"

With a roll of his eyes Woody grabbed her arm and pulled her after them. "Come on, Elly May. You can play with the cat when we get home."

"But he's the cutest critter I've ever seen!"

Buzz pouted. "I thought I was cutest critter you've ever seen," he mumbled.

"No more stalling!" said Woody. "We have a bus to catch!"