The trio stared at the sobbing lizard infant, who was screeching with a high pitched voice that nearly made their ears bleed.
"Wow!" Goten said. "The baby came out exactly how I imagined it!"
Goku slowly walked towards his wife and the creature.
"Ch-Chichi," he said as he extended his hand towards her. "Wh-where did that lizard come from...?"
"What lizard? Oh, never mind that! Look at your daughter, Goku! Isn't she so adorable?"
"GOKU!" Chichi roared. "Come in here and help me come up with a name for your daughter!"
"Goten, help me out here! There's something really wrong with your mother!" Goku cried.
"You're just now realizing that?"
"I'm serious! How is she not able to tell that our baby is a lizard thingy that's as big as my hair!?"
"And what's worse, she's gonna make me have to play with it..."
"Come on, Goten! Give me some ideas!"
"GOKU!"
"I'm coming!" Goku walked nervously into the room to look at the horrifying creature that Chichi seemed to think was an ordinary baby. "Uh... I-I'm here."
"So, what should we name our baby girl?"
"Um, Chichi, do you notice anything... 'odd' about her?" And how can you tell it's a girl?
"Odd? What're you saying, Goku? She looks fine to me. Now, what're we gonna call your baby?"
"How about skank?"
"Goten, go to your room!"
Goku looked at the lizard.
"How about... L-Liz?"
"Oh, that's a cute name," Chichi agreed. "Welcome to the familly, Liz!"
While Chichi was picking up the baby lizard and coddling it, Goku quickly put his fingers to his temples and instant transmissioned away.
"VEGETA!"
"AH!" Vegeta quickly covered his dick with a towel. "Kakarrot, what the hell are you doing-" Goku grabbed him and took him back with him to his house. "Huh!? What're you- HOLY SHIT!"
"Vegeta!?" Chichi cried. "When did you get here, and why are you in a towl!?"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!?"
"Huh? You mean my baby Liz? Why're you referring to her as a thing!?"
Vegeta's mouth hung open. He pointed at the mother and her 'daughter,' then looked at Kakarrot, then back at the duo, never moving his finger.
"You see what I mean?"
Vegeta dragged Kakarrot up to Goten's room.
"KAKARROT, THE SHIT'S WRONG WITH YOUR WIFE!?"
"I don't know either. That... thing came from her stomach, and she aparently thinks it's a regular baby! I don't know if she's insane, how she gave birth to that thing, or what!"
"Hey, Kakarrot," Vegeta said, "Lagableo said that he needed your woman for something... What if he did something to her to make her think that that thing is her child, and planted an egg inside of her to give birth to it?"
"Oh snap!" Goku exclaimed. "D-do you think it'll try to kill us once it gets older?"
"I can almost guarantee it," the Prince scoffed. "Which means we've gotta kill it before it kills us."
"Dad," Goten said as he flew up to look his father in the eye, "does that mean I can do whatever I wanna do to my sister?"
"Yes," Goku said with a nod. "But don't kill her, we don't know if she's really here to kill us yet."
Goten started cheering, and hugged his father.
"Thank you, daddy! I promise I won't let you down!"
Vegeta and Goku were residing in the Son's living room, waiting to see what Goten had come up with.
"You really trust that little boy with that thing?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"
"... Because he's a little boy?"
"True, but he makes really good cookies."
Vegeta facepalmed right as Goten popped into the room.
"Okay, Dad, I got rid of her," he said, carefree. "We'll never see her again!"
The doorbell rang. Goku instant transmissioned to the door and gently answered it.
"Yes- UGH!"
The mailman was holding Liz by the tail.
"Um... I don't think this was supposed to be in there."
"Liz!" Chichi cried as she ran up to the door and grabbed her daughter. "Oh, there you are! How'd you get out here anyway?" She glared over at Goten who hid behind Vegeta.
"Um... What is that thing?" the mailman asked.
"What do you mean 'what's that thing'!?" Chichi growled. "This is my baby, what do you think it is!? What, does she look like a thing to you!?"
"... I'm not gonna answer that. Uh, by." He ran off. "THIS FAMILY IS CRAZY!"
"What's with him? He looked like he saw Godzilla or something," Chichi said. "Anyway, Goten, did you try to mail your baby sister?"
"Maaaaaybe."
Vegeta facepalmed again.
"That is it, young man, you have earned yourself a time-out!"
Vegeta pulled Kakarrot into another room.
"Okay, now with your son out of the picture, we have to get rid of that thing ourselves. So what are we supposed to do, Kakarrot? No wait, don't answer that, I'll think of the plan."
Chichi was cuddling the lizard.
"Aw, poor Liz, I can't believe Goten did that to you. But you're safe now, honey, everything's gonna be just fine, so don't cry, okay? Aww, you're so cute."
Goku stepped into the room with a forced obvious fake smile.
"Hi..."
"Hey, Liz seems to be taking the whole being mailed experience quite well." She lowered her shirt and her braw, and let the lizard chomp on her breasts to suck. "Man, she's got your appetite!"
Goku was a bit grossed out by that sight.
"So, um, would you mind if Vegeta and I took her to go meet her big brother Gohan?"
"Oh! That'd be wonderful, I'll come with you-"
"No! Uh, y-you need to make sure Goten doesn't escape his time out."
"Dad!"
"Oh, I guess that's true." She handed him the baby. "Well, take good care of Liz. And if what happened to Gohan when he was four happens to her, I'll fucking kill you!"
"... Bye!"
He and Vegeta teleported away.
"WAIT! GOKU!"
Goku and Vegeta appeared above a bridge.
"So how're we gonna explain this to Chichi?"
"Err, we'll just tell her a bird came by and ate her."
"Alright." Goku held this lizard over the river. "... I... I can't do it. I can't hurt her, she's just a baby!"
"Seriously, Kakarrot!? Now is not the time to be soft! This thing could kill us!"
"You don't know that! What if Lagableo had an egg that was about to die with him from old age, and he just needed Chichi to lay it for him? Liz doesn't have to be a bad guy like Lagableo was, I can raise her to be a good guy."
"You'd better," said a voice behind them. "And you'd better train her to be the best she can be, too."
Goku and Vegeta hurled around. It was another giant lizard with a human female face and chest and legs with long purple hair.
"Who the hell are you!?"
"My name is Fern, and I'm an observer," she said. "If you dare kill our savior, I won't hesitate to kill that son of yours."
"Hey! Leave Goten out of this! What do you want from us?"
"I want you to train your daughter," Fern said seriously. "There's something you should know about the Zilla race, our race. We age much faster than you humans do, we only live to be about three-to-four weeks old. Five weeks if we're lucky. Lagableo-sama was about four and a half weeks old when you killed him."
"So he was about to die soon, anyway?"
"Yes. By tomorrow, our savior, or as you seemed to have named her, Liz-sama will be around ten years old by your calendar by tomorrow. Start training her then."
"Wait," Goku said, "how is it my wife can't tell she's... um... not human?"
"Lagableo-sama must've done something to her. He knows how protective she is of children, so he must've made sure she thought Liz-sama was a human baby so she wouldn't let anybody kill her," Fern explained.
"Why did he do this?"
"I'm afraid that information's classified."
"Don't fuck with us!" Vegeta roared. "I want an explination as to what this damn this is gonna do to us now!"
"Liz-sama won't do anything to you," Fern said calmly. "Tomorrow, start training her, and give her this." She handed them an envelope. "She'll know what to do when she reads it."
"Um... How're we gonna explain to my wife that she's a ten-year-old when it's only been two days since she was born?"
"She won't know the difference. I'll be leaving now, but I'll come back every so often to check on my savior Liz-sama." She flew off.
"Wait!" Vegeta cried. "Get back here!" He was about to fly off when Goku grabbed him by the ankle.
"Wait," he said, "let her go. I think my daughter is gonna help her somehow, so please... let me train her. If she does anything bad, then I promise that I'll personally stop her."
Vegeta growled and stood up.
"Fine."
After explaining this to everyone but Chichi...
"WHAT!?"
"That's what she said."
"And you're believing her!?" Bulma screeched. "You know, she could just as easilly be lying to you. Plus, we already have one terrible slimey alien/lizard lifeform!" She pulled Vegeta's ear. "Two if you count Piccolo!"
Krillin slowly got closer to the baby.
"Yeah, I don't think I trust your baby or that alien too much either," he said. "I mean, Lagableo was pretty dangerous." Liz slapped him with her tail. "OW!" Krillin Owned Count: 7.
"Don't worry about it," Goku said, "I'll raise her to be a good person who won't betray us. And if she does betray us, maybe she'll change her mind."
Gohan stared at his little sister in thought for a while, then he looked up at his father.
"Well, Dad, you helped raise me to be a strong warrior," he said. "So as someone who's proof of your training results, I trust you. As a man with a wife and kid at home, I ask that you don't loose my trust."
"Sure, no problem!"
Trunks flew up to the Lizard.
"Well this is pretty cool!" he said. "Now Goten and I've got someone new to place with, and it's a mini-Godzilla! He's gonna be fun!"
"Trunks, haven't you been listening?" Vegeta asked. "It's a girl."
"WHAT!?"
Back at the Son house...
"Okay, time out is over," Chichi said. "Now I hope you've learned your lesson, Goten, we do not mail our family members."
Goten sighed.
"Alright, Mom, I get it."
Goku popped back with Liz in arms.
"Good news, honey, everybody loves Liz."
"Wonderful! But of course they would, she is the daughter of a Super Saiyan god and myself." Chichi hugged her husband and her daughter. "And now we've finally got a girl in the family. I can't wait to start teaching her how to sew!"
"Actually, honey..."
-Later-
"ARE YOU SERIOUS, GOKU!?" Chichi roared. "No, no! No no no no no no! You are not training my little girl to be a fighter like you! Gohan and Goten are in enough danger as it is, I am not letting you put our daughter in any danger. IS. THAT. CLEAR!?"
"Y-y-y-y-yes, ma'am..." Goku nodded. "C-come on, Goten, let's go spar for a bit."
Goten walked out of the house with him.
"You're gonna train her behind mom's back, aren't you?"
"That's what I did with your big brother."
Meanwhile, Yamcha was pacing back and forth, pondering weather or not he should kill Liz.
"Yamcha," Puar said, "what do we do?"
If I do, either Goku or Chichi will definitely kill me! But, I can't trust the daughter of Lagableo, that monster almost killed Goku and Vegeta. Ohh, this is one of the toughest decisions ever.
"NO!" he cried. "Just because Goku's a pure-hearted idiot, doesn't mean I have to be! Puar, you and I are gonna slaughter that baby in their sleep-"
"You will do no such thing," Fern said as she popped up in front of him.
"AYAAA! ANOTHER LIZARD THING!"
"Wh-where did-"
"You won't kill her, or I'll-" No, I can't threaten one of them, then he'll think that we're dangerous, and we're trying to win their trust. But what else can I do to him to keep his hands off of Liz-sama?
"O-or you'll what?" Yamcha asked as he got in a fighting stance, terrified, with Puar standing behind him.
"Um..." She got up close to him. "Or I won't be your girlfriend. Come on, honey, don't kill Liz-sama, please? Do it for me~" She lightly kissed him on the cheek.
Yamcha, being the love-desperate doofus he is, immediately fell for it.
"A-alright!" he cheered.
"Just please," Puar said, "please promise me you or Goku's daughter won't do anything bad."
"Hey, listen, she and I haven't done anything bad since we got here. Lagableo-sama didn't do anything to any other humans when he got here. He just needed Chichi in order to bring Liz-sama into this world."
"Why Chichi, though? Why not you?"
Fern lightly blushed.
"I-I'm not fit to be Lagableo-sama's daughter's vessel...!" She cleared her throat. "H-he needed Liz-sama to be in a family of someone strong who can train her, and needed the mother to be protective of her. Goku-kun is the strongest being on this planet, so naturally he chose her to be the mother."
"... Okay. But she's not gonna hurt us, is she?"
"Not unless she kicks your ass during training. Come on, baby, let's keep away from the Son house and let them train in privacy."
"O-okay... I'm Yamcha."
"I'm Fern." To protect Liz-sama... I have to use this pathetic looser Yamcha.
A/N: Lol, I didn't plan for this second half at all. I just realized six chapters is outrageously short for a story, so I decided to continue by adding this little plot. I'll try to keep the future chapters about as long as this one, so please review and wait for the next chapter. Ily 03^
