Once you're gone you can never come back. When you're out of the blue into the black.
I wasn't sure how long I was on the ground… I pulled my knees to my chest and closed my eyes never wanting to wake up. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I pulled it out to see who was calling and texting me. It was mostly Kurt asking if I was okay because I never came back to the apartment. I could tell by his texts he was panicking. He also, tried calling. I received nothing from Finn though. I decided to head back to the apartment. Of course it would start raining on my walk back and to make matters worse my heel broke. I limped all the way home. When I opened the door Kurt ran over to me and embraced me in a hug. "Oh, Rachel I was so worried something happened to you." He noticed how I looked and gave me a small smile. "I'm just going to go to bed.." I walked to my bedroom and saw that Finn was sleeping already. At least he was still here.. We would have to talk about things in the morning. I turned the lamp off and closed my eyes.
I could sense the sun coming in through the windows and decided to get up. I rolled over and noticed Finn was no longer next to me. I slowly got up and walked out to the living room, but still no sign of him. Kurt was already up making me breakfast. I figured he might know where his brother was. "Good Morning sunshine." I smiled. "Kurt.. Where's Finn?" He put his head down and I knew the answer wasn't going to be a good one. "He left Rachel. He went back to Lima." Wow he couldn't even face me and at least say goodbye. I acted on my instincts and went to my room to get my laptop. I went online and purchased a plane ticket. If he was so willing to get on a plane to run away from his problems then I guess his problem will have to follow him to Ohio. I told Kurt my plan and he backed me up one hundred percent. I told him I should only be gone one or two days but not any longer than that. I went to my room to pack my stuff. I was lucky enough to get a flight that left today. The plane left at 4:00 and it was already 1:00 so to make sure that I would be on time for my flight I left for the airport. I got some food and before I knew it, it was time to board the plane.
When the plane landed I rented a car from the airport because I needed to get to Lima fast to find Finn. I drove around town stopping at his house first. I got out of the car and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I decided I would check the tire shop next but there was still no sign of him. I had called him and sent him text messages but he didn't even answer me. So I went to the one place I knew he would be. The auditorium.
Walking into the school brought back so many memories. I knew my way by heart to the auditorium. I entered backstage and I saw him standing by the piano. He looked over surprised to see me. "This place is sort of like our Jerusalem. All roads seem to lead us back to here. This is where you proposed to me and when you did you reminded me that this is where we first met. Do you remember that?" He did his signature half smile. "I would've you know just come here first if you had picked up your phone or answered my text messages. Instead I had to get on a plane and drive around town looking for you like an idiot." He looked up. "I needed some time to think." Wow. "You had four months Finn. I hated you for what you did to me at that train station." He began to speak but I cut him off. "I hated you!" I yelled. "But when I got to New York I thought how much you love me and how hard that must've been for you and I thought this.. this is what a man looks like. This is how a man loves, but you not telling me where you were for four months and sneaking out before sunrise in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. That is not being a man Finn." He sighed. "I was just trying to give you your freedom." Ugh he doesn't get it. "I don't need you to give me my freedom! I am a grown woman. I don't need you to hide from me to keep me from doing what is right for me." I was raising my voice because I needed to get my point across and I was hurt. "Like that Brody guy?" He just had to bring him up. "I didn't do Brody and don't you think I would've rather have been with you." He started to speak again. "Didn't you say he was on Broadway? He has like three percent body fat. Who am I? I barely even graduated high school. My life has no direction…" I started to walk over to him. "Don't you get it? No matter how rich, famous or successful I become, when it comes to you I'm always gonna be that moon eyed girl who freaked you out at her first Glee rehearsal. You were the first boy who made me feel loved and sexy and visible. You are my first love and I want.. more than anything for you to be my last. But I can't do this anymore.. at least not now. We're done." I couldn't stop the tears as they began to stream down my face. I noticed that he looked heartbroken. "Wow I don't have my girl, I don't have a job. What am I supposed to do with my life. I don't have a place in this world." Now I was really crying and I couldn't help it. "You have you and that's better than anyone else on the planet as far as I'm concerned." I got closer to him and we knew this was officially goodbye. We kissed for the last time and I gave him one last look as I walked out of the auditorium doors getting ready to head back to New York. As I reached the main doors I looked back whispering to myself "Goodbye Finn."
