Chapter Eight: Attention

Was I really seeking good, or just seeking attention?

-Elphaba, 'Wicked'

xxXxx

"Did you ever want to become a star growing up, Miss Haru?" an elderly man with kind eyes asked as he made another note on his pad.

The young lady sprawled over his 'shrink couch' gave a light amused laugh as she stared up at the ceiling, though her face was grim. "Never. I've always been extremely shy about people paying any attention to me."

He added that to his notes. "Considering how the people in your hometown treated you, I'm surprised you didn't say 'terrified'."

She fought back a laugh. "Well, that too. Sometimes I still wonder if this is all just a dream."

"I think we're getting a little off-track, Miss Haru," the psychiatrist told her with a laugh of his own. "We were talking about your dreams growing up. Tell me; what was something you used to hope and wish for in that attic?"

Those large brown eyes glazed over, and her lips stated a phrase that seemed a little too rehearsed. "I wanted someone wonderful to rescue me from my miserable life so that we could move somewhere so far away that Sir would never force me to come back, get married, and have six kids together." Her eyes closed as a longing sigh passed out her lungs. "I'll admit that I messed up on that first part, but it was all I had to help me keep going."

He stared at her a bit before writing that down as well. "... Six children? Why so many?"

She closed her eyes in concentration, but her expression was wistful. "I'm not quite sure. There's just something about the idea of six kids that... just... answers a need in me. I'm sorry about not being more specific."

The doctor gave his patient a long look before asking another question. "So tell me; this imaginary husband of yours. Was he rich?"

"No, very modest in all respects." That look of longing increased painfully.

"... You do realize that would have landed you right back where you started, don't you?"

"Take that back!" she snapped, sitting up in order to glare at him. "I might meet a guy like that!"

The doctor raised his hands and clipboard in defense. "What I meant was, you went into great detail on your last visit on all the chores you were forced to do, both in your home and in others. You said you were miserable."

"Not because of the chores!" the brunette insisted stubbornly. "I was miserable because every person that came near me could only see trash! They didn't care that I was washing their cars, I was dependable enough to look after their children and pets, or that I never breathed a cross word at them when they insult me to my face! I was still a worthless piece of nothing that would never amount to anything, because they decided it for me!"

"... I think I see what you were really after," her doctor said after a long minute. "It's not about having a family. It's not about working your fingers to the bone. It's about love, isn't it?"

The young star gave him a desperate look verging on tears. "Just appreciation would have been nice!"

"You're appreciated now, aren't you?" 'Understatement of the year.'

She rubbed the tears out of her eyes before they could run down her face. "Only because I'm a good liar with a nice singing voice. Not because they like me. Except for Dad." She suddenly held both hands to her mouth in mortification. "Don't tell him I called him that!"

The older man couldn't help but feel a wave of sympathy as he underlined 'daddy issues' in his notes. "I promise all of this is strictly confidential, Miss Haru."

xxXxx

'Okay, that does it.' Yuki couldn't stand it anymore!

While her mother was busy getting the dishes from breakfast washed, the white-haired girl hopped off her chair and started scooting it to the side of the sink.

Haru was surprised, but only kept one eye on her child as she grabbed a dish towel from the appropriate drawer and climbed onto the chair to stand nearly as tall as her mother.

'I am not going to treat my mom like a servant.' Yuki grabbed the plate as soon as her mother tried to set it on the drying rack and started wiping it dry.

As soon as she placed it aside to repeat the action, she was interrupted by a large and slightly wet embrace from her mom, as well as a loving kiss to her brow.

"… You're the first person I didn't have to ask to do that."

"You said you wanted me to be a first in your life," Yuki pointed out after the hug had ended, but before she picked up another plate.

"I'm getting my wish in spades, promise." As soon as the third plate was clean, she handed it to her daughter.

Despite herself, the dish slipped out of her grasp and shattered on the floor loudly.

Yuki gasped in horror, but her mother had her arms around her in a heartbeat once more.

"Shh, my snowflake. Shh. It's just a plate. Don't cry over this, it's not worth your tears."

She was still breathing heavily and fighting back the guilt, so her mother reached down and pulled open the door just underneath the sink to reveal a small trash can.

"See, Sweetheart? I break dishes too," the brunette pointed out while tipping the trash can just enough so Yuki could see the few ceramics shards within. "When we hit summer, I'll show you what I do with the pieces. It's actually kind of pretty, if I do say so myself."

"… How can broken dishes be pretty?" Yuki asked once she had calmed down a little. No one had ever been so even-tempered about her breaking something before!

Haru grinned in excitement. "You'll get the idea when the snow melts out back."

ooOoo

"Ha ha! We finally did it!" Haru gloated, picking up her daughter in order to swing her around the now completely empty room. "It only took three months, but it's done!"

Yuki laughed as well, the only vocal sound she's made in front of her mother so far. 'I thought for sure she'd have given up and given me Dick's room by now.'

Haru stopped swinging the girl around in order to give the bare walls a speculative look. "Okay, now that we've got the work part out of the way, now comes the fun part. How do we want to decorate your room, my snow angel?"

Yuki cocked her head before answering with her hands. "A bed would be a good idea."

The brunette giggled while squeezing her like a toy. "I mean do you want a theme for your room? I could paint another mural for you."

"Did you do the one in the living room?"

A nod confirmed the fact. "Yep, and it only took two months. As much as I love being independent, it would be smarter to bring in furniture when Tim comes for the summer for the extra muscle." Haru gave a small laugh while shaking her head. "I don't know what Bruce does to his boys, but Dick and Tim have always been incredibly strong for their age. Tim's already guessed that he'll be helping out with furniture when he comes, so that will give us plenty of time to do something special. Come on, are there any secret wishes you have about a room of your own?" she coaxed sweetly.

Yuki already knew about the emails she exchanged with Tim and the phone calls with Bruce, so she didn't bother questioning how he could already know such a thing. "Was he upset over you wanting to use him like that?" she asked worriedly.

She scoffed at such concerns. "Honey, he said something about it first and insisted he didn't mind. If anything, he'll get upset if he comes here and finds out I did it without help."

Yuki pouted. "You have me."

Her mother's lips curled into a smile of indulgent adoration. "As much as I love you, Sweet Pea, I doubt you'll be of much help with something as heavy as a dresser or even a bed frame. Hey, how about we look at some of my books and see if there's anything you like?"

The pale child nodded happily. As far as she was concerned, there was no better way to spend the day than on her mother's lap with a nice thick book.

ooOoo

"I like that," Yuki signed before pointing at a beautifully draped bed on the latest page.

"Oh, a canopy? Good choice," Haru approved before putting it into her notes. "I used to have one, but then I kept tearing it down whenever I got a fresh batch of…" She trailed off, her grip loosening on her child.

'Not that look again!' The blue-eyed girl patted her mother's arms insistently to bring her mind back.

Haru shook her head slowly, her eyes wearier than normal as if awakening from something unpleasant. She looked down at the picture in the magazine and the picture therein. "Did you like the style of bed, or do you want to keep looking?"

"Mom, is something wrong?"

"No, of course not." She smiled and held her daughter tightly. "Not anymore, at least. You know, I'm not sure if all that fancy scrollwork is right for you. Hey, what if I painted all the furniture with flowers or something?"

Yuki couldn't repress her worry. "I like that idea, but are you sure nothing's wrong? I don't like it when you get that look in your eyes."

Her mother closed her eyes while inhaling painfully. "… I did warn you from the beginning that I came with baggage, Sweetness. But don't worry, you'll know everything when you turn twelve like I promised."

ooOoo

"Hey, leave some paint for the other customers," a man working the craft store laughed as Haru filled up her cart.

She brushed back the long strands of her black wig before answering. "Normally I would, but I've got some big painting projects planned, and all the paint I thought I had was dried up."

"I thought you and your daughter were new in town," the man reproached as Yuki clung to her mother's side.

Their 'in town' disguises were much simpler than most of the ones Haru had used while coming here. Enough makeup to cover her facial scars, blue contacts, black wig and glasses on the mother. Only a thick hat and shades for the daughter, since her hair and eyes were the most distinctive features.

"Yes, but the previous owner left behind a lot of things," Haru said to keep their cover.

Yuki immediately felt another stab at her brain. 'Did I really almost forget about these?'

The worker nodded in understanding. "Ah. Well, I guess I'll just tell the boss to order more paint then. Good luck with your projects!"

"Haru, stop touching those!"

Yuki jumped and looked for the speaker, but the woman was at least an aisle over.

"Frazzled mother, your nine o'clock," the brunette informed the store associate with a gentle smile.

"Sure sounds like it," he mumbled under his breath as he ran to see if the other mother needed help.

Haru kept piling little tubes of paint into the cart as well as paint brushes, but Yuki was still confused.

'I know Haru is a common name in Japan, but is it that common here?' She pulled on her mother's skirt to get her attention. "How come you didn't jump just now?"

Her mother flinched but gave her a smile before whispering too softly to be overheard. "I've already met that mother. She's… not the only one to name her daughter after me. You already know Arthur did it, too."

Yuki cocked her head thoughtfully. "So why do you act like you've been up to nothing good?"

Haru flinched again, turning her attention back to the paints. "Difference of opinion."

Yuki couldn't shake the feeling that her mother was very much understating the idea. Especially when she caught a glimpse of that other mother wearing a shirt with a black and white picture of Haru on it in a heroic pose with a sword.

But what was up with that overly fluffy cloak she was wearing on the shirt? Her mother didn't have white hair!

ooOoo

"… add in a bookcase for good measure, and we're set. Tim can't get angry at me if they arrive in pieces and he just helps me assemble them after I'm done painting them into something cuter. The two weeks before they get here should be enough for me to at least get a head start on the walls for you. You sure you don't want me to have green carpet installed?" the brunette asked as she finalized her online furniture order. "Maybe tan to fit in with your cattails?"

"The blue carpet will work just fine, Mom. Thank you for doing all this for me."

Her mother's eyes melted as she stole another kiss to her growing hair. Scooting away from the desk in her room, she picked up a pencil and nearly ran to Yuki's new room with the girl following her like a little duckling. "You're more than welcome, Sweet Pea. Okay, having the countryside flat will be boring, so how about some hills for interest?"

"Sounds good, Mom."

Haru began very lightly drawing the outline of the hills directly onto the walls, pausing every now and then to get her daughter's opinion on one detail or another.

… There really was no one like her mother. By now her life in Japan was feeling like a fading dream, the raw painful memories being soothed by this lady that was so unafraid of going beyond what her child expected of her. For crying out loud, she framed the Christmas tree Yuki had given her and had it hanging in her room despite showing just how much better she could do when getting… just about anything in her pale hands.

A thank you didn't feel like enough. Not after saving her from being bounced between homes like a hot potato and treating the pale child feel like she was worth more than the world.

"… Yuki? Can I ask you something?" Haru said after both of them had been lost in thought for a while.

Her child nodded curiously, making the grown woman leave off marking the walls in order to kneel in front of her child.

It wasn't hard to see she was nervous, even pulling at the edge of her shirt with one hand. "I already have a quilt downstairs that would suit your room's theme, but… I really enjoy making quilts for loved ones completely by hand. Tim begged off one since he loves my machine-made ones already on his beds both here and at his usual home with Bruce, but… the last time I made someone a quilt completely by hand, the one in question pretty much spat in my face for 'wasting my time' on something like that instead of paying someone else to do it. It will take me years since I refuse to hole myself up downstairs and miss out on being with you, and I won't let you see it until it's finished. But would you be willing to have a quilt like that from me?"

Yuki gaped at her with shocked happiness. "If?" she mouthed instead of sign, throwing her little arms around her mother's neck so she could lick her mother's cheek again. 'Drat it, why do I keep doing that instead of kissing?'

But as usual, her mother didn't do anything about the oddity except call her a goofball again and snuggle her like a beloved toy.

Yuki shivered slightly as her mind thought of a way to repay her sweet devoted mom. Not that what she was planning was dangerous, but…

The mere idea was terrifying.

ooOoo

But since her mother was worth it, the pale child snuck out of her mother's bed before she woke up and slipped out of the house where the snow had melted enough to coax a few wildflowers into blooming.

Grabbing only a modest handful, the white-haired girl raced back into the house and into the kitchen to hurriedly put them in a small cup of water. She didn't know much about cooking but was still able to use the toaster to make a light breakfast for her mother, pouring a glass of almond milk and setting everything on a cookie pan so that she could present it all at the same time.

Taking in a deep breath for what she was about to do, Yuki was forced to put the pan down to quickly open the bedroom door again.

Her mother was still sleeping peacefully, lost in a sweet dream. Yuki didn't want the jam-covered toast to go cold, so she forced herself to take another deep breath for courage and opened her mouth as she stepped closer to her mother's side of the bed.

"Mom? Mom?" she whispered, still hesitant about waking the woman.

Haru turned a bit in her bed, slowly waking up. "S-Sweetie?" she slurred, opening her eyes enough to look at her child.

Yuki smiled and held up the tray a little so she could see the simple breakfast. "For you, Mom."

The older woman's eyes blinked in surprise as she sat up in bed, a smile of delight on her beautiful face. "You're talking!"

The blue-eyed girl nodded while setting the pan on the little table next to her mother's side of the bed. Then she looked the woman in the eye and told her exactly what was on her mind. "T-Thank you for adoptink me. Thank you for lettink me talk before I was ready. Thank you for makink me feel so loved. Thank you for tryink so hard to make me happy. You're my milacle. I love you, Mom."

Some of the words were slow and mispronounced since this was her first time speaking English, and her first time speaking so much in general. But since her mother could understand Bruce's embarrassingly broken Japanese, she was certain the woman could understand her just fine.

Haru stared at her, tears streaming down her beaming face long before she gave a strangled sob and pulled her child onto the bed for an almost desperate embrace. Yuki soaked in the love and gratitude happily but didn't at all expect the first thing her mother had to say about her carefully thought out gift.

"Best. Birthday present. Ever!"

xxXxx

Just in case anyone's curious, I'm using my past fics (as well as future fics, mwa ha ha!) for the movies Haru's been in, though her first movie was a human version of An American Tale: Fieval Goes West. Just imagine different or similar names for the other fics for the sake of argument.