8. The Unfairness of Life

I got wonderful results – Hermione standard! (I actually mean this – I scored 100% twice!!! (Sorry for telling you all!)) So thank you to anyone who spared a kind thought.

Thank you also to Heartsday, praypray and L.A.H.H., my wonderfully consistent reviewers. Please continue!

Oh, by the way, I'm finally introducing a few minor characters who are completely of my own invention. I'm sure you'll spot who they are.

Ysabell burst into the classroom, fifteen minutes late. She had spent all of breakfast looking for her bag, only to find it hidden behind a suit of armour just outside the common room.

"Sorry I'm late Professor. I got lost." She ignored the titters from the rest of the class as Professor Invidus, their latest Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, glared down at her.

"Ten points from Ravenclaw for lateness" he snapped.

Around the room Ravenclaws glared malevolently at Ysabell as she made her way to her desk on the other side of the room. Some glared at their new teacher as well. Ten points was a little steep, especially for someone new to the school.

Ysabell rummaged round in her bag for her equipment, as the Professor continued with the lesson. She cursed silently, realising that her quills were missing, and then winced as she touched the wet, sticky bottom of her bag and brought her fingers out black and gleaming.

"Lost something?" inquired a quiet voice behind her, sounding amused. She recognised it as one of the Ravenclaw boys in her year, and ignored him, busy carefully removing her textbook from the mess inside her bag. Thankfully, it had escaped the spillage. But quills? She brushed a hand against her cheek, and groaned when she realised that it was the inkstained one. Muffled giggles broke out around the classroom.

I hate them. Little idiots. Suppose they think it's funny. I bet they did this.

"Miss Hope?" asked the Professor, using the same half-sneering tone for her last name that the rest of the staff used, "I don't suppose you could repeat what I just told the class about shielding charms?"

The class watched amused as Ysabell froze the way she did after anyone asked her an unexpected question. The professor continued. "No? Well that's a pity, since I'm going to ask you all to practise them now. I hope you're a quick learner."

Ysabell looked down at her desk as the rest of the class buzzed at the prospect of a practical lesson. She remained silent whilst their new teacher sorted them into pairs, placing her with the boy who had been sat behind her desk, who scowled at the thought of being her partner.

"Now, get into rows facing your partner, that's right, then on the count of three the person on the right will cast a stunning spell whilst their opponent casts a shield charm. All ready? One, two…"

Ysabell looked fearfully across at Aaron, who was pointing his wand at her with a grin on his face. He was going first. She gazed at the wand, memories rising unbidden, and acted instinctively; choosing not to defend herself but rather to attack first.

"Impedimenta!"

Aaron flew backwards and crashed into the wall, then crumpled into a heap at the bottom.

"You stupid girl!" yelled the Professor, running across to Aaron, almost livid with rage. "I said the person on the right! Don't you know your left from your right! Can't you count to three?! What in Merlin's name were you trying to do?!"

I hit him. I hurt him, after I swore I'd never ever use magic in that way. I hurt him, and it felt good.

Across the room, Professor Invidus was helping Aaron to his feet, still furious. "Thirty points from Ravenclaw! And detention! Detention for the rest of this week!" The rest of the class were exchanging uneasy looks now. This was Defence against the Dark Arts, after all, and accidents did happen. They didn't really want a teacher who reacted like this every time someone got hurt. Giving Ysabell a detention was ok, but what about them?

Ysabell glared at the Professor, with eyes full of pure anger. He caught her eyes, and swallowed slightly. Then he said, almost inaudibly, "Get out. Get out now." The rest of the class were watching too now. Ysabell continued to glare at him, white fingers clasping her wand tightly, as a strand of dark hair unravelled itself from her tight plait and fell across her face. Then she turned, and stormed out of the classroom.

She walked away from the classroom silently, still fuming, pausing only to kick a suit of armour as she marched upstairs.

How dare he! He gave me a detention, for, for that! He wouldn't have given anyone else one, he'd just give them to me, because he hates me! Because they all hate me! A week's worth of detentions! Evil bastard!

But by the time she reached her dormitory, her thoughts had changed.

It's me. I'm evil. I didn't mean to hurt him! But I did, anyway. Maybe I even wanted to. What kind of person does that? Evil, evil, evil! They're right. I should be punished. They shouldn't allow people like me in school…

She was completely silent when she emerged from the common room and made her way down to dinner, refusing to even look at anyone. She found Luna at the Ravenclaw table and collapsed next to her, staring at her empty plate. Luna gazed at her thoughtfully for a few moments, still munching her pasty. Then she gathered up some food, grabbed Ysabell's arm and announced "Let's go for a walk!"

Luna walked outside and sat down in a patch of warm autumn sunlight, Ysabell following mutely. She accepted a pasty off her friend wordlessly, but as Luna continued to gaze at her she felt obliged to fill the waiting silence.

"I… I attacked someone. In my lesson. I think I hurt him." She looked up at Luna, who was still watching her impassively, and the words continued to flow. "And I think I wanted to hurt him, and I've hurt people before, and that means I'm evil, doesn't it? But I don't want to be evil. But I am, aren't I, if I like hurting people? That's why everybody hates me, isn't it, because I'm evil, just like, just like…" She dissolved into a flood of tears. When she finally stopped, Luna was hugging her tightly.

"Come on" said Luna softly in her ear "I want to show you something" And she led Ysabell to a clearing on the edge of the forest before delving into her bag and producing what unnervingly looked like a slab of raw meat. "They'll be here in a minute," she said mysteriously.

Ysabell was so perplexed she almost forgot about her problem. The sight of the beautiful, shadowy-black creatures approaching through the trees made her catch her breath in surprise. Luna pressed the meat into her hand "Hold it out like this, look…" Ysabell watched enthralled as the creature bent its head to eat her offering.

"They're thestrals" said Luna, watching her. "You can only see them if you've seen death. Most people think they're bad luck."

"I think they're beautiful." breathed Ysabell, cautiously reaching out to touch one.

"So do I. I don't think they're bad, even if most people believe they are." Ysabell looked over at Luna, who was eyeing her sincerely. "I don't think you can be born evil, I believe it's something you become. And I don't think you're evil." continued Luna.

"But… but those people I've hurt…"

"But you felt bad about hurting them. You regretted it. And I think you injured people accidentally, and that's not your fault, it's because you're only just learning to control your magic."

"They hate me though…"

"They just dislike you because you're different. Like thestrals. That's the way people are." Ysabell looked at Luna again, but she was staring at the thestrals. Ysabell had the horrible realisation that she had just seen a side of Luna that no one else had seen before, a side that had been waiting for a long long time.

"Thank you" she said humbly, then smiled at Luna. "I've never had a friend like you before."

Luna's answering smile could have lit up the whole forest.

(Quote also applies to a certain wonderful person I've been extremely mean to lately. Sorry.)

Look, I've just given you an amazingly long chapter. All you people who have never reviewed before do so and show your appreciation. Or disgust. Your choice.