Sam sat outside the motel in the pouring rain, tears running down his face, wondering if he could last any longer. It had been almost a month without any self harm. Dean was proud, Cas was proud, but Sam still felt the worms pumping through his veins. He still felt his skin itch and burn. His mind still wanted that release.
"Sam?...What's wrong?"
Sam jumped at the sound of his brother's deep voice.
"D-Dean...I..."
Sam fell silent. He didn't know how to explain anything to Dean without him sounding crazy. Sam wanted Dean to trust him. So he stayed silent and looked down at his shoes.
Dean sat down next to Sam on the sidewalk. He looked at the gray sky that was spitting down cold bullets of rain. His eyes drifted over to his brother. He reached his hand out and brushed Sam's long hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ear.
"Sam, I'm here for you, If you want to talk...I'll be here. I don't care if you need me at 3 in the freakin morning. I'll be there for you."
Dean placed his hand on Sam's and intertwined his fingers with Sam's. Dean looked to Sam's face searching for a response. Sam's eyes slowly made their way to meet Dean's.
"I just...need to be alone...I'm gonna go for a walk, okay?"
Dean was glad that Sam was talking and a little worried, but he wasn't going to stop him from doing something that would help.
"Sure Sammy, whatever you need."
Dean squeezed Sam's hand and Sam squeezed back.
"I love you Sam."
"I love you too Dean."
Dean leaned over and kissed his cheek before getting up and pulling Sam up with him. Even though Sam towered over him he still hugged him. Sam felt so happy with his brother next to him. Sam wrapped his arms around Dean and rested his chin on Dean's head. Dean was nearly suffocating in Sam's chest. Sam heard Dean's muffled protest and he pulled away. Dean dramatically sucked in air and Sam laughed.
"Okay Sammy, I'm gonna be inside. You go do your thing and if you need me, remember, I'll be here."
Sam sighed as Dean went back inside the motel. But he felt guilty for what he was about to do. Well he did until he felt the worms. The worms that made his wrists itch and burn.
