Disclaimer: I own nothing… and it breaks my heart! ;.; Well, Except SG-3, they are all mine!
A/N: If you will all go back to my user info page… you will see another page has been added to "Pick-up lines from the SGC"! Why, you ask? Because I love you guys!
You'll also note (if you bothered to check) that yesterday I went back and edited all the pervious pages. I think I fixed all the spelling, grammar and wording of everything.
-Page 8-
141) Stand up comedy by Chris Rock is not to go off-world.
a) Or early Eddie Murphy.
B) or early Robin Williams.
c) How about you just keep the comedy Earth-side?
SG-23 was no longer allowed to take any CDs' or DVDs' off world.
142) Don't take the last Krispy Kream.
Everyone soon found out how scary Selmak could be when he was deprived of donuts.
143) Friday April 17th, 2006 never happened.
All anyone could figure out was there was something that happened to SG-5 on PR9-813 involving a flock of seagulls.
144) Expect the unexpected.
a) Really, weird things happen, you should be used to it by now.
(Come one, you really expected us to be on the watch for flying monkeys? -Col. Dixon)
Seriously. Flying monkeys raided the camp while SG-13 was checking in at the gate. No one would have believed them if they hadn't captured the whole thing on video surveillance. Jack could not stop grinning.
145) Don't tease the scientists.
(They tend to be smart when it comes to revenge. -Jack)
(Not to mention sneaky. -Ferretti)
146) Don't touch other people's hair.
Jack was thinking of the weird soul patch Teal'c once grew.
Atlantis KNEW it was about Kavanaghs' pony tail. John cut it off, and Kavavagh proceeded to chase him all around Atlantis.
147) Do not hold toga parties.
No one suspected the anthropology department could be so loud. Or get so drunk.
148) Rubber duckies are not religious icons. Stop telling new cultures that they are.
a) Nor are you to tell said new cultures that our national anthem is the Rubber Ducky song from Sesame Street.
SG-18 was gleefully corrupting the universe, one planet at a time.
149) Think before you act.
a) There is a fine line between heroic and stupid.
b) Besides, if you die, then you can't gloat.
(The people make a good point John. -Weir)
(Hey! -John)
150) Don't make voodoo dolls of your superiors.
(It is just creepy. -John)
Rodney took a disturbing amount of pleasure in stabbing a miniature Col. Sheppard with long, sharp needles.
151) You do not have the force. Stop saying you do.
a) Didn't you all read rule #42?
152) Quit getting cloned.
a) Once is an accident. FOUR or more is just absurd.
b) The amount of paper work and medical tests required isn't worth it.
The original SG-1 had at least three duplicates out there somewhere. SGA-6 had android doubles, and SG-22 recently found themselves the victims of Loki and his experiments.
153)Knock before you enter a room.
Cassie had the misfortune of walking into Daniel's lab without bothering to knock. And she walked right in on Daniel with his hand half up Janet's skirt. She was heard running through the halls screaming "My eyes! My eyes!"
154) The archaeologists are not to be referred to as "Indiana Jones."
a) or Laura Croft.
Even if they do have the hat… or wear their hair in a braid.
155) Be careful of other peoples things.
Felger spilt coffee on Dr. Brown's Latin books. She called him 38 different kinds of idiot (in 8 languages) before she repeated herself.
156) Cosmopolitan is not a magazine that should go off-world.
It led to a whole new way of life on P99-WR3.
The men of said planet were not at all happy…until the women read the 'Love and Lust' section. P99-WR3 now trades one pound of naquada for one case of Cosmo
157) Don't feed the plant life.
Some of the plants in the Pegasus galaxy made the "Little Shop of Horrors" look tame.
158) You are not pirates. Stop quoting that damn movie.
Atlantis just got a boot-legged copy of 'Dead Mans Chest.' It seemed like every second sentence anyone heard was "Why is the rum always gone?", or "Where is that monkey, I need to shoot something."
159) Keep quiet about the boot-legging.
a) You want the very nice people on the Dedalus to get arrested?
Most of the DVD's on Atlantis were boot-legged or downloaded. If they ever got caught, well… a lot of people would be in a lot of trouble!
(this one was written by… I don't know who, I forgot to write down your penname before I emptied my e-mail account! I'm so sorry!)
160) If you see Lt. Hailey crying DO NOT point and scream loudly, "OH MY GOD! IT IS HUMAN!"
It took four SG teams to pull her and Maj. Harper from SG-5 apart. Evidently he did not read rule 98.
-End Page 8-
A/N 2: Now, I want you all to close your eyes, click your heels together three times, and say "There is nothing better than a review."
Now, click the pretty button, because if I get 25 more reviews/suggestions/fic recs, then I'll post another page!
