Hellooo, yeahhh a new chapter! It took me a bit, but here it is. It's a long chapter, you guys deserved it! :) I have a little twist in it, I hope I surprise you :) And I hope that for the ones who asked why Sam was acting like that, is now answered. In this chapter I really want to show you their friendship. Sam and Carly but also Carly and Freddie. So don't worry, no creddie, just their friendship. I also hope I wrote Carly good, I think she's a nice person, but she wants to have things in control, or know things, she feels like a mother, I mean she raises Spencer more then Spencer her. And also Sam. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, if I did, why on earth would I write on fanfiction? :P
"Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I'm young
For speaking out of turn
There's someone I've been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They're in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I'm tired of justifying
So I say to you..
Come home
Come home
Cause I've been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I've ever known
So come home
Oh"
Carly's POV
I ran, ran as hard as I could. People were starring at me, yelling: HEY! Watch out!, but I really didn't care. I care about Sam. Hospital called me, saying that my friend, my best friend! was in the hospital! I didn't know what exactly happened, but I didn't care, the only thing what is important is that Sam is hopefully allright.
"I get lost in the beauty
Of everything I see
The world ain't as half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons
If all the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now..Yeah
Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud"
"Hello, what can I do for you?"
"I'm here for Sam Puckett" I said
"Hmm..Are you family?"
"No..But I'm her best friend! I'm..She's like a sister for me!" I started crying. I can't lose her! I wanted to see her, no matter what. I was trying to convince the nurse. I mean, I'm more family to Sam then her real family.
"Okay, girl, calm down..She's in the ER, you can't visit her, but you can wait here in the waiting room, a doctor will come if she's out of the ER." the nurse said with a smile, trying to help me, wich actually didn't help at all! You can't make it okay with a smile! My best friend is trying to survive and she's trying to make it allright with a smile!
"When will she be out of the ER?
"We don't know, it can take an hour, but it could also take 4 hours."
"Okay..." I said and walked to the waiting room.
Freddie's POV
We stopped by the hospital. They took Sam away and told me to wait in the waiting room. Thoughts were crossing my mind. Things I should've said to her, things I should've do. I saw how the doctors look at each other, knowing that it's almost impossible to save her. But I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to know that she isn't here anymore. O god, how could I let this happened.
Carly's POv
I saw Freddie sitting, he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands on his neck. I think he was saying something, whispering to himself, but I couldn't here it. "Hey" I said with a half smile, but my voice was cracked. I sat next to him. He looked up to me, and said hey back. He looked a mess, you could see he cried. I wanted to ask what happened, did he let Sam fall or something, did he punched her too hard, did they fight and she ended up badly? But I knew Freddie didn't want to talk about it. He would tell it eventually. I just hugged him and he hugged back. "She's going to be okay, right?" I asked, still hugging him. "I...I don't know. It was pretty serious..." he said. "I..I can't lose her, Freddie!" I said and I started crying. "I know..me neither.." I think we sat there, crying, hugging each other for more then ten minutes.
"Everything I can't be
Is everything you should be
And that's why I need you here
Everything I can't be
Is everything you should be
And that's why I need you here
So hear this now..."
He let go of me, and looked down. It looked almost that Freddie felt guilty, did he let Sam fall? Did he do this to her? Noo...Freddie wouldn't do that, right? He loved her...He still loves her! Right? I'm so confused right know, everything is so unsure. I'm going crazy right here. I can't stand it if I don't know something, if I'm not in control, I need to know things, need to know the situation.
"Freddie?..." I asked, unsure. "Do you have anything to do with it, with Sam?"
He looked up with tears in his eyes. The words he didn't say was the answer.
How could he? He was my friend, one of my best friends, he...he loved her!
Freddie's POV
"Freddie?..." she asked. "Do you have anything to do with it, with Sam?"
I looked up to her, I didn't know what to say. How could you was her face expression and she stood up and start walking away.
"Carly! Wait!" she didn't stopped. "I...I didn't hurt her..that way.." I said, it was more to myself then to her. More convincing myself that I didn't do it, but I did right? Because of me she jumped! It was my fault, it was all my fault..She stopped, turned around and said "Then who did?"
How can you tell someone that their best friend killed herself, commit suicide? I didn't want to be the one telling this to her, tell her that Sam didn't want to live anymore. I knew Carly would feel guilty, that she didn't help Sam, but how could she help her, right?
"Look..I..Uhm..Can we sit down?" I asked her, no idea how I could say this to her. "Sure, only if you tell" she said. I nodded and we sat down.
"Well..You know how I was searchin' for Sam, right?" she nodded and looked at me that I needed to go on. "Well, her phone was in the woods, I was confused, I mean Sam would never be in the woods, right? Unless they have there great food" I said with a smile, thinking about her love for food. "Well, I still decided to look there, even though I thought Sam wouldn't be there. But her phone was, so I thought maybe there's something that would lead me to Sam. When I walked in the woods I found an opening, the end of the woods and I saw the edge. And when I looked a little bit higher...I..I saw a blond curly haired girl. It was Sam. She...She was about to jump." I said and stopped to look at Carly's face. Her hand was for her mouth and she looked shocked, no she was shocked. "She committed suicide?" she asked, still with the shock expression on her face. I nodded carefully. "And...And you didn't stop her?" now she was more angry. Angry on me. "You know I would! I tried yeah, I said so many things, hoping that would change her mind, but she didn't. Nothing helped! And then suddenly she jumped, before..before I could finished my sentence..I ran as hard as I could, I got her out of the water, called 911. I tried everything! I'm really sorry! I..I-" "It's okay, Freddie. I'm still mad at you, though. For not being able to stopping her, but you tried at least." she said with a smile. "And..And I just can't lose you too as a friend..I need you now..I can't deal with this alone. I..I don't know how to handle this situation..I just want Sam back.." she said. I knew exactly what she felt.
"Come home
Come home
Cause I've been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I've ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home"
"Are you family of Sam Puckett?" the doctor asked who walked up to us.
"No, we're her best friends" Carly said.
"You know where her family is?"
"they aren't here. She..she doesn't really have a good relationship with her family" Carly said.
"oh okay...Uhm..Well, Sam is just out the ER. It was a very difficult job, but she made it. She's asleep now, she needs a lot of rests. You can visit her if you want, but don't make her upset, she needs to be calm now or her heart won't take it."
We nodded and the doctor walked away.
"I can't believe it!" Carly said happy "She's going to be allright!"
"I know" I said with a smile
"You wanna go first?" she asked
"Uhm..No..You go first..I need to think about what I'm going to say to her."
"Okay..But don't make her upset" I nodded and we walked to her room. Carly walked in and I waited patiently in the hall.
What am I going to say to Sam? I can say a thousand times I love you, but I still don't think she would believe me. It's hard I know, after what I did. But she need to know how scared I was, how my heart almost stopped beating.
Carly's POV
I walked in the room and I saw Sam sleeping. She looked awful, but I guess falling from ten meters high in water would damaged you a lot. I sat down next to her and held her hand.
"Hey..It's me, Carly, you're best friend." she didn't answer, I should've known that.
"You know, I'm not angry on you, after our fight, more you yelling at me. I know you didn't mean it. You're my best friend, right? We fight, we make up, we stay true to each other no matter what, no one can come between us, even a boy..even...Freddie...I love you" I hoped that would open her eyes, but it still didn't.
"Fried chicken" I said for fun, I mean it would always wake her up. I smiled at the memories.
Suddenly she opened her eyes. She looked very tired and sick, but she still was capable of saying "Where's the food?". I laughed, of course, knowing I had my best friend back again.
"Heey, how are you feeling" I asked
"Next to feeling so much pain, sick and dizzy, I'm okay I think, but I'm really hungry"
"Hmm..Wouldn't expect anything less" she smiled, but you knew she wasn't really in the mood for jokes.
"Why can't I move my hands?" she asked, looking at her hands being stuck at her bed.
"Sam..You committed suicide..." I said as gently as possible.
"But that doesn't mean I'm going to do that again!" she raised her voice, oh shit, she was getting upset.
"Then why did you do it?" I blurred out. This question was stuck in my head for a long time, it had to come out some time. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" she cut me off, like always.
"It's okay, I should've expect that question." she said nicely, wich was very rare for Sam, being nice. I mean I am her best friend, but yeah, she wasn't really that nice to people expect for me, Spencer and Freddie, well I don't think Freddie anymore.
"You know...I was in a hard time..I think it's called depression, hah, remember when-"
"Yeah I know" I said with a smile on my face. Sam said that depression was just a way to being pathetic and get attention.
"Guess it isn't a way to get attention, but a real disease" she said.
"Uhm well...I felt..really alone..Everything went wrong and I..I just had enough.."
"But you're not going to kill yourself anymore?" I asked with confusing, but also a bit happy knowing I probably won't lose her again in the next few years.
Sam's POV
"Nah..." I said with a smile. "You know...Even though I was dead for I think a couple of minutes...I felt a bit of a coward"
"Why? she asked a bit confused.
"Well...Because...Pucketts never give up, you know..And I feel like I gave up..Didn't fight enough...I think that's also the reason why I'm still alive." I said.
*cough cough*
"Yeahh you're also a reason, Carls." I said with a smile. "You know..I'm really sorry 'bout everything" I said, really seriously.
"I know, me too. But I forgive you for everything, 'cause I really don't want to lose you again. I love you" she said and hugged me.
"Love you too" I whispered.
I still felt like a psycho, your hands all tied up.
Carly let go of me and said "I'm going now, I'll come back at you later, I'll get you some food, okay?" I nodded, how could I resist.
"Oh" Carly said while she was about leaving the room. "Freddie wants to visit you, is that allright?" she asked.
Wait..Freddie..I really didn't want to deal with him now..He's the reason, mostly, why, you know, killed myself.
"No" I said softly
"What?"
"No, I don't want to see him"
"Why?"
"Because..Because I don't feel like it..Because I don't have nothing to say to him, and I especially don't need to hear his crap. Please, Carls. Don't let him come, okay?"
"Okay, but you have to talk to him eventually, you know that right?" I nodded and she walk out of the room.
Carly's POV
She didn't want to see Freddie? Hmm..They must had a pretty serious argument then when they last talked. I didn't want to upset her so I didn't asked about it further. I walked outside and saw Freddie waiting. How was I supposed to say this to him?
"How is she feeling" he asked concerned.
"Okay, I think, but she looks awful" he nodded, knowing he wouldn't expect less.
"Well, I'm going in then" he said already walking to the door of her room.
"Wait..Freddie"
"What?" he asked
"Uhmm..She.."
"She what? Carly, what's going on?"
"She doesn't want to see you okay?" I said as fast as I could. I hoped he didn't hear that.
"What?" shizz he heard.
"She said she didn't want to talk to you"
"Well I want to talk to her.." he said, being stubborn.
"Yeah..I know..But she doesn't want to see you, I'm sorry Freddie. She will speak to you, eventually, she just needs time." I said as gently as possible.
"I SAVED HER! I FUCKING SAVED HER!" he yelled. Okay, he was losing it. I'd never seen Freddie like this, so angry but I don't know, concerned? at the same time.
A nurse came and held Freddie "Sir, you need to calm down, please walk with me." she said.
"NOO, not until I see Sam!" he yelled.
"Security!" the nurse yelled.
Ohmygod...I just saw Freddie take away with security men.
Freddie's POV
Why didn't she want to see me? Why? What have I done? How on earth could she not want to see me? I almost lost her!
Sorry for changing with POV's all the time. I hoped I surprised you all with this chapter. Don't worry, Seddie will happen! Just be patience :) The song used in this chapter is Come home from One Republic (Wich I really recommend, it's a really good band) I hope that for the people who asked why Sam was acting like that, now know why, and if not, just say it in a review or PM and I'll explain it to you. Lots of loves here!
