A/N: I know that a lot of you were thinking, "What the...?" considering the one shot before had ended on such a positive note. I am very interested in hearing everyone's theories, comments, suggestions and rants after reading this one.

Frustra esse is latin for 'to be mistaken'.

Frustra esse

"What the frak is wrong with you?!"

So there would not be a moment's peace before he was to face everyone else. He is thankful that he had the foresight to at least lock the door before he had entered.

"Noct! I know you're in there!" shouted Sapien through the thick door. "What happened with Stella? What the frak happened with Sol? The council from Solis are demanding an explanation! Noct!"

On any other day, he would not have even locked the door and if he had, he would have opened it as soon as he had heard his friend's voice. Not today. Definitely not today. Not when he had just gotten back from Ventosus on what had been the worst week of his life. Not when he felt like he was shattering inside. Not when the last vision he had seen of Stella had been her back, since she had refused to look at him as she boarded her airship and left. Not when he had been directly responsible for mindlessly beating a fellow Crystal Bearer. Just, not today!

Stella...

To think that she would never hear his cries of agony. That she would never see just how much cutting her off had felt like he had cut his own heart out. That she would never feel just how much he loved her. That she could never know...

Black gloved hands closed into tight fists and shattered the large floor to ceiling mirror in his room. Glass covers the entire floor of his bedroom and he does not care. He does not care that the shards of glass start hovering all around him as his telekinesis pulses out of control. He does not care when the sharp pieces begin to shred the sheets of his bed, the curtains over his windows, the cushions of his couch and the pieces of art on this walls. He just does not care.

The sudden sound of something foreign within his rooms startles him and the floating shards fly in all directions. They pierce everything him, even the other figure in the room. There is a moment where he feels some satisfaction as he sees one of the larger pieces has become embedded in her chest.

"Still so melodramatic," she says with a roll of her eyes before the glass disappears and her wound closes up easily. "This is not seemly."

"How could you ever be a judge on what was seemly?" he asks hatefully as he stands with his hands on his dresser and his back to her.

"Mean too," she states with a giggle and he wishes, he wishes he could kill her. "Now, now dear one. None of that tonight."

"Do not call me that," he hisses as his fists close against the raw hate running through his veins.

"Oh, you know you love it," she answers and he can just picture her waving her hand to dismiss his refusal.

"Might I ask, why are you here?" he asks and he tries to put as much disdain in his voice as he can.

"To see you of course," she says as she sits down on his bed as if she were a welcomed visitor within his bedroom. "To make sure that you are all right."

He whirls around at that. "To make sure that I am all right? You think there is anyway that I could possibly be all right?"

"Oh please, you are such a drama queen!" she cries as she rolls her eyes. "I do not think my conditions were so unbearable."

"Not unbearable? You think that these conditions could ever be bearable to me? You, you really are unbelievable."

"I am a goddess, Dear One. I do not have to explain myself."

"You do not try to anyway."

She smiles and her face looks positively evil. For that was what she was, pure evil.

"That little wretch took your jacket," she frowns to express her disapproval. "Why did you do nothing to get it back?"

He is very, very careful to keep his mind blank in response to that. It takes all his will not to make a response, even in his mind, at her question. He thinks about something, anything else instead.

Etro tilts her head as she tries to read him. "You are getting better at blocking me," she says finally and he just barely stops himself from sighing in relief. She does not look impressed, but annoyed and he rejoices in that.

"So you are here because I did not get my jacket back?" he asks tilting his head at her too. His words and tone clearly expressing how idiotic that is.

"I want to know why you made no effort to get it back," she answers with slanted, suspicious eyes.

"I can always get another," he shrugs.

"You want her to have something of yours so she does not forget you, don't you?" she hisses as her eyes narrow further.

Again, he thinks about everything and anything besides what she wants him to think about.

"Stop that!" she hisses again. "I am getting a headache."

"Gods can get headaches too?" he asks. His tone is innocent but they both know that he is mocking her.

She glares at him again and he gives her his most infuriating of smirks.

"You test me, Noctis," she says disapprovingly.

"As you test me," he answers.

"I am only saving you," she tries to explain, but there is nothing she could ever say that would make him understand. "I have your best intentions at heart."

"No, you have your best intentions at heart. You could care less about mine."

"Harsh," she says with a feigned wince. "I really do not understand why I put up with you."

"I never asked you to," he states and it sounds more like, "I never wanted you to."

"Well I cannot stay long," she says dismissively, as if there was not a trace of resentment from him. "A goddess has many things that she needs to see to."

"Like ruining the lives of we mortals?" he retorts.

She stops to tilt her head at him again. "One day, you are going to thank me for this."

"That day, is not today," he answers. That day will never come, he thinks and that, he does not care if she can hear or not.

She looks like she does because her eyes darken at him.

He glares back at her, because he does not care that he has angered her.

Then she smirks at him and it does not look good on her face. "You are still so young. You have so much to learn," she says. She blows him a kiss and disappears before him.

He waits until he can no longer feel her presence before he shudders in disgust and the emotional exhaustion kicks in. He drops into a chair and does not even seem to notice that most of its cushioning flies all around him at his sudden weight.

His jacket. Something so simple as a jacket was why Etro was so concerned. That he had not made an effort to take it back. His head falls back and he groans. It was not as if he had not wanted to. It would not have been very hard. It was just as simple as waiting for Stella to fall asleep, which would not have taken very long considering the strain she had been in. Then he could have easily teleported within her quarters and taken it. Etro had, had reason to be suspicious. For it had been intentional on his part, to let Stella keep it. Keep it because he was selfish enough to want her to have something of his that would make her remember him. Remember him as he would always remember her. Always remember that he would always love her more than anyone could ever possibly love her. He absolutely adored her for being stubborn enough to keep it on her own.

"You realize this is our first date," said Stella as they both sat upon that highrise not far from his castle here in Nihilsomno.

Contentment was something that he was beginning to get used to. Something that he was learning to accept without hesitation. Stella, here in his arms and he in hers. Her head against his chest and his nose filled with her scent. There could never have been a more perfect moment for him. He had wished that the night would not have ended. But it had to, as everything had to. Not much longer saw them walking hand in hand, back to the castle. They had kissed and he had pulled her as close to him as he could. He could not get her close enough and he could not get enough of her taste. It had been she who had pulled away later and after a quick peck on the lips, had jumped away from his arms and danced away from his reach.

"Good night, good night dark King," she had said as she rushed up the stairs to her rooms.

"Good night, Bright Star," he has responded as they smiled again, before she disappeared down the hall and he was left alone in the dark corridor.

He had waited until he could sense that she had made it safely to her door and was in her rooms before he made his way to his own rooms. His rooms that had finally been completed and this time, they looked like he had always wanted them to look. Black leather covered everything except the black satin of his bed sheets. There were no portraits of any gods within his rooms. The lights were warm, not bright, like candles that hung overhead in small crystal chandeliers. A fireplace that was always lit, gave him the warmth that he had gone without all those long younger years of his life.

He had been more than content. He had felt complete and hopeful. He had actually looked forward to the sleep that he knew he had to have. It had been a good night and he had hoped that his dreams would be equally as good. He should have known better.

He had not even made it fully into his rooms when he felt it. Felt the cold dread of something evil within his rooms. He felt the air turn cold and hollow. He felt the tingling sensation in the back of his neck as the small hairs there had started to stand up.

It was the sound of the cawing crow that made him stiffen his back and a determined expression fell into place on his features. For there was only one being that would cause such a reaction from him.

Etro.

"Have you missed me, Dear One?" she had asked with a satisfied air about her.

"I knew you would come one day," he answered.

"It warms me that you were looking forward to seeing me," she smiled.

"I did not say I was." he retorted. "I just stated that I knew you would."

"You do know how to sore a person's mood," she said with a pout.

"What brings you here?" he asked as he stood ready.

"I have come because something of a most alarming nature has reached me."

"That would be?"

"You."

"Me," he had said and it sounded like a question and a statement.

"You and Stella specifically."

"What about Stella and myself is so alarming?"

"I said that you and Stella had been chosen to lead. I did not say that you would be doing it as lovers... as..," she looks almost disgusted as she tries to think of an appropriate word. "Soulmates." The distaste is evident in her tone and in her face.

He frowned at her because he did not like where this is going. "What are you talking about?"

"I do not like the future I am foreseeing," she said, clutching her forehead in a dramatic fashion. "I did not bring Stella back for you to enjoy her."

Red eyes deepen to almost the color of blood as he glares at her. "What?" he hissed. There is a soft crackle of crystal and a blinking of the lights as his anger begins to grow.

"I brought back Stella so that you would not feel so guilty. I did not bring her back so you and her could have some sort of fanciful happy ending," she sniffed.

"You are telling me that I am forbidden to love Stella?"

"You only think you love Stella, because you are so young. But you will learn in time that she is not for you. She has already been chosen for another."

"Another?" and a few light bulbs explode above them.

"You and Stella are not to be," she had stated with a tone that implied the subject was over.

"Why not?" It was becoming very difficult to keep his voice steady.

She gives him a secret smile that makes the blood drain from his face.

"I do not like to share," she had said simply with a grin.

There is a moment where he does not even think there are words to express his feelings. To express the complete exasperation at her ridiculous words.

"Do you like the ring I gave you, Dear One? I made it especially to your tastes."

"You... you are mad," he could finally say through the disbelief.

Noctis, do not let...

The voices had been cut from him then. Cut off in mid sentence with a wave of Etro's hand.

"There now. None of that nonsense to give you any ideas," she said with a nod.

"This is not the decision of the gods, those superiors that you have claimed to have. You are doing this out of your own spite," he shouted at her. The absence of those whispers left him in a way that made him feel completely alone. Alone with this evil that had become obsessed with him.

"You must comply in this Noctis," she answered sweetly. "I have given you a choice."

"You call that a choice?" he growled at her.

"Let me show you something," she said as she snapped her fingers and he felt the familiar sensations of teleportation.

They are in Stella's rooms. It was dark in there, with only the glow of the fireplace. The soft glow of the flames reached the foot of her bed, where she is already fast asleep. There's a contented smile upon her angelic features and despite it all he finds the tension in him lessening at the sight of her. He had given her a room that would match her tastes. A mix of white and black with hints of silver and ivory. The soft curtains around the canopy of her bed were half closed as she continues her nightly slumber. He wanted to be there, in the bed, beside her. He wanted to lie in the warmth of sheets with her wrapped within his warms.

"I will take her back Noctis," warned Etro as she sneered at the look on his face. The sound is muted and he knows that whatever they say will not wake Stella. "You comply or I take her back to where she belongs."

His face snapped to hers. "You would do that? You would be that selfish?"

"I am death. I am selfish."

"Then take me," he said. "You want me. Take me."

"Oh but I cannot, Dear One," she had lamented. "You were the last user of the Crystal and the winner of the prize. You cannot be taken until you have fulfilled the peace."

"This is not right," he said. "You cannot possibly think that you can..."

"Oh but I can," she answered. "I can take her at any time of my choosing. She was not the winner of the prize. She was dead. She was already mine. I do not give up what is mine."

So this was the price. This had been the price all along for having her again.

"You will be mine too, Noctis. Not yet, but you will be."

"There is no way... there is no possible way I could separate myself from Stella," he said because it would be impossible. They were connected. She would hear him.

"Then you will have to do your best to try and convince her," Etro replied. "She will believe you. You never even told her that you loved her afterall. It will be easy to prey upon her insecurities."

"The whispers, they would tell her that I was lying."

"I will take care that they do not tell her," she said with ease.

"You will not get away with this," he tried to warn.

"Who is going to fight against me?" she asked. "I am a goddess."

"You have those that are higher than you."

"This is between you and me, Dear One," she answered. "Do this Noctis or I will take Stella away from you so completely that you will not even get to die to see her again." She disappears in a dark cloud and he is left alone with Stella's sleeping form.

He does not move to be closer to her. He does not move at all as he watches as she sleeps peacefully before him. She sleeps with no concerns and no worries and that gives him a sense of comfort. That was what he had wanted for her. No more nightmares. He would take them for her. He would take her nightmares into himself and have enough for the both of them. If only to spare her the living one that he would have to live without her.

"I love you, Stella," he whispered to her sleeping form. "You will always be the bright star of my life."

He disappeared in a flash of crystals before he could do anything else. He did not return to his rooms.

He did not sleep at all that night.

Agony. It had been pure agony to see her the next morning. To see how well she got along with his brothers. To see how easily she could joke and banter with them. To see how they liked her and accepted her. Not just for his sake, but because they genuinely liked her. To see how she had won them over. She had won them all over just by being herself.

He had known, that any attempts to quickly ignore her and give her a cold shoulder would have only fueled her stubbornness. It would have made her want to call him out on his behavior. That was just her. So he had done something that had been harder. He had been polite. Polite and separate. He did not ignore her and he was not mean to her. He was polite and he knew, he knew that would hurt her more.

When they had arrived in Ventosus, he knew that everyone else could sense the change in him. That there was something wrong, but they could not and did not ask him what it was. Only Mira, cute adorable little Mira had, had the nerve to stick to his side until he could do nothing else but smile down at her and give her a pat on the top of her head. Then she too had left him alone. He pretended to ignore the worried glances from Stella but he was fully aware of each time she had turned her head to look at him. He did not sleep very well that night.

The next morning, he could not wait for her to come and confront him. He had to do it before he lost his nerve. So he had teleported into her rooms without permission and caught her unawares. She had been sitting at her vanity table, fixing her hair. She had taken his breathe away, like she always did. There was a worried look in her eyes and it stabbed at him to think of what he was going to do. Her face as she had noticed him standing behind her had cut him.

"I do not want to be friends."

It had not exactly been a lie. He would never have been able to say it with such conviction if it had been a lie. Friends was just not what he had wanted. They were not friends. They were so much more. Friends would never have been enough. He saw that look in her eyes and his name on her lips and there is nothing he can do, but drive this wedge between them.

"We are what we are."

What they were was not meant to be. Then he had used the words they had said before.

"We cannot escape it and we cannot fight it."

She had used them back and it had hurt. For those words were true. They were true then and they were more than true now. Their paths were together but not in the way that they both had hoped. Together and apart. Close but separated.

"I shall fight it."

He had to fight it, for both their sakes, because if he had told her the real reason she would have fought and he would have lost. He would have lost her and losing her to Etro was just not going to happen. If staying away from her meant that Etro would not take her, he would do it. He would fight it. He would fight this desperate need to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, to...

The strangled sound that had escaped her had nearly been his undoing. He had almost turned around and begged for her forgiveness for his callousness. But he didn't. Instead he had done the one thing that would have convinced her that he had been in earnest. He cut their connection. He cut it and he had felt the agony of losing her. Losing that piece deep within himself that nobody would ever fill. He teleported out of there and back into his rooms because he could not breathe. His hands clenched and he was about to throw an unfortunate chair against the wall when Etro came to him again.

"Very good, Dear One," she praised cheerfully.

"Stop calling me that," he hissed as he whirled around to face her. "You are enjoying this. I know you are. You love to see me so shattered."

"You are so beautiful this way," she agreed with a smile.

"Who is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said Stella was meant for someone else. Who is it?"

She smiled as she slowly vanished before him, but she whispered her answer. "The Solis heir."

He did pick up the chair then and smashed it against the wall and felt satisfaction when its pieces blasted all around his rooms.

The next couple of days were nothing short of torturous. When he had been paired with Procella for the scavenger hunt he had almost declined the game for the day and told her as much. Which only led her to laugh at him and he had not known why that was so funny to her. The hunts themselves had not been very difficult but he had not had his heart in them and had given the games to the others.

Vires had tried, in his very direct way, to ask him what was going on. Why he had been shunning Stella. What could he have said? He knew his friend would have only told Stella and she was not to know. He was not taking any chances that it would get back to her why, why he was doing this. It was much better that she became angry at him for being an ass. Better than knowing the real reason why. He refused to lose her to the one person he hated the most.

The day she was partnered up with Sol and he had seen how the sunny man could make her laugh so easily. Make her laugh so easily, so recently after he had torn his heart out for her. He had lost his mind. It really had been him, who had sabotaged their hunt. Sol had completely been within his rights to accuse him. He had not been sorry in the least and he did not even bother to deny it. That had thrown Sol off the edge and had issued him a challenge. A challenge he had been eager to accept.

It was a moment of complete madness on his part. He had not even given Sol a chance before he had beaten him soundly. Beaten him to a bloody pulp and drawn it out longer than it needed to be. He had only just had enough wits about him to stop before he killed the other man. It had felt really good and really pathetic, because he knew this was not the dealings of a rational mind. When it was finished, he had not even believed he had done it. All he had known was anger, anger and resentment that this man was to take Stella away from him. That this man, so completely his opposite, was the one that Stella had been meant for all along. That he would be the one that would share all the things with Stella that he would never be able to. It had driven him to insanity.

It did not make him feel any better when it had been Stella who had rushed over to Sol's bloody body first. It was even worse when it was she who had shouted and defended the man. He would have killed Sol right there if not for the fact that all the other Crystal Bearers were watching. As he noticed that, he also realized exactly what he had just done. He had almost killed another user of the crystal. It had been a disaster.

That night, when he knew that nobody would be with him, he had teleported into Sol's room to see how he was doing.

"Did you come to apologize?" Sol had asked in an almost bored tone, as soon as he had seen him. He had not even looked surprised to see him there. He had just continued to lay there as regally as he was.

"No."

"Have you come to finish the job?" That same bored tone. He had a bandage wrapped around the gash on his head and the entire left side of his face was bruised. His chest was wrapped over what he was sure were broken ribs. He had heard them crack when he had done it.

"No."

"Then what are you doing here?" The lack of bite in the man's tone made him look at him in question.

"I came to see if you would make it."

"I am not someone who can easily be killed," was the answer. "The next time you have a fit of jealousy, try not baiting an unwitting rival and using him as a living practice doll."

"I could say the same to you," he retorted, coming close to the other man. "For all those times you tried to bait me in front of Stella during our conferences."

"I was beginning to think you had no guts," Sol remarked.

"Do you doubt my guts now?" he had asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Stella loves you," the other man had answered as he glared up at him. There, there was the anger that Noctis had wanted to see. "She does not deserve the inexcusable behavior that you have been showing her this week."

He agrees whole heartedly with that, but he cannot tell the other man that. "We cannot pick who we love," he responded vaguely.

"I would not even dream of treating her that way," was the response.

"You are not me."

"Thank goodness for that!" There was a wince following that statement. "I cannot understand why she puts up with you."

"She does not have to do anything she does not want to."

"If you continue to treat her as you do, I shall win her," Sol had vowed.

He had almost wanted to finish the other man right there, but he stopped himself. He was to be the ultimate loser in the end and he knew it.

"Would you be good to her?" he had asked.
Sol's face had gaped at him. "You, you are really asking that? You? I know you love Stella back."

"You need to rest yourself," he answered as he turned around to leave.

"Tell me that at least, Noctis," demanded the other man. "Even if you cannot admit it to yourself. You love Stella and I can venture to guess you love her more than she loves you."

Sol could not have been more right.

His back is to the other man when he responds. "Love grows cold."

The last day had been the worst. For he had to spend the whole day in her presence. In her precious presence and all he had wanted to do was take her and hide. Hide them both from Etro where they could live together and never be found. But there was no escape from death. There was no escaping her reach, no matter where he could have taken her. So he had merely given her a stern look so she would be too angry at him to speak and had made sure he had taken care of the more dangerous points of their hunt. Which only ended up angering her further. She had looked magnificent in her anger and annoyance.

She had snapped at him and he had retorted. Then it had hit him that this was something that he needed to relish. These precious moments where he could still be alone with her. After these trips, he would not get to see her so regularly. Then he would not get to see her at all. Then, as time passed, he would be sent an invitation to her wedding to Sol. His star would eventually marry the sun. It was so horrifically twisted that he had not been able to stop the anguished look that had appeared on his face when she looked up from reading their directions.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

He had not been able to answer her. He was looking at the person he longed for the most and knowing that he could not have her.

"Who are you?"

She had tried to come closer and he almost jumped back from her. To come closer would be dangerous to them both. To come closer meant he would lose control of himself. So he had said what would make her step back on her own.

"One who was not meant for the light."

He had felt it as acutely as she did because he saw the pain in her eyes. The same pain that he felt inside himself. Their shared pain, but she needed to be angry. For her to be angry was so much better than her grief. He needed her angry and she had not disappointed him.

When the rain had come down mercilessly around them, neither of them had noticed it. He would have stood there all through it had it not been for the lightning bolt that had nearly cost her, her life. It had not even been a conscious thing. He had reacted to her in danger and had almost forgotten himself when he had saved her. Then the protectiveness had kicked in and he had immediately sought shelter for them both. It had been both a conscious and deliberate thing for him to take off his jacket and wrap her in it. If not his arms, at least a part of him would be able to be close to her. Then, taking care not to upset the scratches on her back, he had led her to a cave he had found and taken her inside.

She had not been responsive when they had reached the insides of the cave. He had almost panicked at her lack of gumption. Instead she had merely sat there, looking as dejected and lonely as he felt. He had allowed himself to see what he had been doing to her all week. To see her so lifeless had made him urgent. His hands clutched her face to bring it up to his and he had searched her eyes for that spark that he loved so much. It is when she brushes them away from her that he can breathe a little easier.

The cuts on her back were merely flesh wounds but he still had wanted to make sure they did not become infected. It was a mix of pride and exasperation when she had merely responded by zipping his jacket to prevent him from taking it off her. He could only kneel there and watch the emotions fly across her features.

"Did you mean what you said? That you do not want to be friends."

She cannot know how he had meant it, but his answer is the same.

"Then there is nothing that you need me to say."

"Noct! Open this door before I break it open!" Sapien's angry voice takes his thoughts away from his despair and he almost smiles at his friend's vigilance.

This time, he opens the door.


End Note: I would really like to hear your thoughts on this one.