Part Eight
She shifted off him, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, her arms wrapping around her middle.
He squeezed his eyes closed, rolling over to place his hand on her back. "Liv, wait."
"No, it's fine. You're right. You should go." Her voice was so firm and controlled and commanding that he almost did as she asked.
But he couldn't do that to her. She was feeling insecure, and having just revealed so much of herself and her private life to him and letting her defenses down completely as she came from his touch, he knew what she was interpreting as an insult would cut a lot deeper than it normally might. He couldn't just leave her like that.
He sat up behind her, moving his legs on either side of her and pulling her back against his chest. "You misunderstood me, Liv." He nuzzled the side of her neck, feeling her body go slack at his touch. "Believe me, there's nothing I want more than to keep going. I just don't want to pressure you. And you have made strides tonight, considering what you told me happened with Joe and the other guys you've seen since you were assaulted." She didn't respond, but she didn't pull away either so he kept talking. "If you want to keep going, Liv, you don't have to ask me twice. I just want to make sure you're sure. I don't want to make you think you have to do something you don't want to do."
She nodded, slowly leaning her head against his. "Like I said, El, if I can't do this with you, I can't do it." Her hands found his and tangled their fingers together. "I've waited a long time, Elliot, and maybe I didn't explain myself right, but I've thought about it carefully and I would never have brought it up if I wasn't sure."
Pressing a kiss against her cheek, he tightened his arms around her. "Ok."
"But if you don't want to, El, please just say it, don't try to make me rethink it." He could hear the hesitation in her voice and knew he'd already caused her to do exactly what she'd asked him not to.
Oh, hell, he was giving up. There was nothing he could reveal of himself that would equal what she'd given up of herself to tell him about her sex life since Sealview. She deserved the same level of openness from him in return.
"I want to, Liv." He swallowed hard and hoped she wouldn't hate him for saying it. "I've never wanted anything more in my life."
She turned her head again, catching his lips with hers, silencing any doubts he had. She had improved on any other night with any other man, but he understood that she wouldn't be convinced, not until she knew she could go all the way without panicking. And, he realized, his erection still safely tucked inside his pants was probably a lot less frightening to an assault victim than it would be if he were naked and on top of her and about to enter her. She was undoubtedly well aware of that as well, as always one step ahead of him.
No matter the tone of his thoughts, the mere idea of being naked and about to enter her was enough to pull a groan from his lips.
Luckily, Olivia appreciated his excitement. "Oh, yeah, I think it was your turn, wasn't it?"
The whole fucking night so far had been his turn. He could barely believe his luck. But he let his arms fall from her so he could scoot back to the middle of the bed where he'd been previously. He smiled up at her as she turned around, crawling on all fours back to him. She stopped before she straddled him this time, raising an eyebrow as she eyed his belt.
"It would appear you're overdressed, detective."
All too happy to enjoy the view of his partner's very bare chest, he let his eyes drift slowly over her top half, frowning when he reached her work slacks, not that he'd ever look at her clothes in the office quiet the same way again. "I could say the same thing about you."
She smirked. "One thing at a time." Then she reached for his belt, her hands steady and sure as she unfastened it and moved immediately for the button and zipper on his pants. She made quick work of them and his boxers, dragging them down his body in a way that belied her recent lack of practice. She wasn't afraid, not with him, just like she'd said. She hadn't hesitated a bit.
Then she retook her place over him, her thighs spread outside of his, her eyes drinking in the sight of his exposed body. With a grin, she met his eyes and once again he wished that he could better see her expression. "Oh, yeah," she purred at him. "You're definitely the pretty one here."
Her hands started on his pecs, tracing their shape, then slowly moving down carefully taking her time as though she were trying to memorize him the same way he was trying to memorize her. He wanted to correct her, promise her that any time she wanted to look at him he'd be happy to let her explore, but he didn't dare interrupt her study of his body.
Her mouth moved in next, following her hands, her lips and tongue drawing vague patterns as her body slowly lowered along his.
It was when her tongue hit his belly button that he realized her intent, that she wasn't simply exploring him, and he nearly came at the thought alone. But then he pictured all too easily the story she'd told him, the way Lowell Harris had tried to force that very thing from her, the way she'd choked on the words when she revealed it to him. He understood why she was doing it. He just wished she wasn't.
He couldn't stop her, not again, not so soon, not when any resistance against something he wanted, something she knew he wanted, would undermine her self-esteem. She'd think he was rejecting her. But fuck, the last thing he wanted was for her to have a flashback or get scared and have the sight of her partner in her head in place of Harris.
He'd never in his life been nervous, not even his first time. He'd always been eager. He fought to keep himself from hyperventilating, not wanting to reveal his distress to the woman who was likely more nervous than he was. She shimmied her body lower still, her hands brushing down below his waist, carefully moving in, stopping just short of touching him as she raised her eyes to his.
He was scared to death, hoping that his pleasure wasn't about to cause terrible pain and fear for her. Even as he fisted his hands in her comforter to keep himself from reaching for her, he saw no signs of concern or worry in his partner. She was determined, her tense body steeled for it, leaving him to wish that she didn't see going down on him like some unpleasant duty that needed to be completed before she could move on to something more enticing.
But he said nothing, unable to speak the moment her hand wrapped firmly around the base of his dick, unable to think when her tongue reached out to taste the tip before she took him into her mouth.
And then he wasn't aware of anything anymore. Nothing at all besides the feel of her hot, wet mouth around him, the softness of her tongue, the moisture of her lips sliding up and down, the gentle pressure of her hand as she held him steady, the teasing of her other hand on his balls. Never in his life had he felt such exquisite pleasure, never, no matter how many times his former wife had done the same thing. It was the fact that it was her, his partner, his Olivia, doing that to him that made it so unfathomably wonderful. He wanted to stay like that forever. And somehow, despite the trauma she'd endured, Olivia seemed perfectly content to stay there too, her eyes locked on his as she drove him out of his mind.
"Liv, uh-" It took every ounce of strength in his body to warn her, went against every instinct not to let her finish. "You need to stop or this is going to be over earlier than we planned."
Her eyes continued to hold his, her mouth still working, as she considered the options. She seemed rather reluctant when she finally let him go, running her tongue along the length of him one last time.
"Oh, fuck, Liv," he ground out, willing himself not to give into the sensation.
She lifted herself slightly, crawling back up his body, allowing her chest to rub against him the entire way. She was pleased with herself, not just for having faced her fear, but for having affected her partner so deeply. He could read her well enough to recognize the signs of smugness on his partner even if he could barely make out her features.
She smiled, a hint of playfulness in her eyes. "Well, now, we don't want to end this party too soon, do we?"
The feel of her body pressing into his, the look in her eyes, the sound of her voice – it drowned out words in the back of his head reminding him they weren't just having a roll in the hay for the hell of it. He wrapped one arm around her waist, securing her to him, and then rolled them over in one swift motion. As much as he'd enjoyed having Olivia's body moving above him, whenever he'd pictured them having sex – which was far more often than he wanted to admit - she was always below him.
And seeing her with her hair fanned out on the pillow, her mouth open and wet, her breasts moving with each heaving breath she took, was everything he'd imagined. More.
Because he wasn't imagining it.
It was his turn to smirk. "Turnabout is fair play, Olivia."
He watched her hands grab onto the blanket exactly as his had and the way she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. Her breath hitched in anticipation as he copied her movements, working his hands and mouth and lips and tongue down her body, tasting every bit of her skin on his way. He paused at the waistband of her pants, glancing up at her hooded eyes to confirm that he was allowed to continue and finding nothing but acceptance.
He took his time drawing her pants and underwear down her body. Partially to give her every opportunity to stop him, mostly to revel in the sensation of touching the full length of her magnificent legs. Those legs that had haunted his dreams even since he'd seen her in the red dress. He'd never imagined he might get the chance to touch them and he made sure he took full advantage of the access she was granting him. Once he dropped the last of her clothing on the floor, he took more time to work his way back up to his ultimate goal. He took hold of her ankle and kissed all the way up to her hip before he returned and repeated his actions with the other leg. She was moaning again as he worked his way along her inner thighs, nearly overwhelming him with the scent of her desire.
He didn't know how he was ever going to walk away from her, not after having this experience, not after sharing so much with her, but he'd have to think about that some other time. Some time when he wasn't gazing up Olivia's nude body with his nose buried in her curls and his tongue gliding along the most intimate parts of her. There was nowhere else he wanted to be and he was going to enjoy it as long as he could.
And he'd be damned if she wasn't going to enjoy it too.
