The Nerdvana Annihilation

"Well, this sandwich is an unmitigated disaster," Sheldon remarked as they sat in his apartment, eating sandwiches that had been delivered, Raj and Howard on the couch with Sheldon while Claire sat in the armrest, eating a sandwich of her own, Leonard over at his desk, his sandwich beside him, his laptop open before him.

"Why?" Claire asked, swallowing a bite of her chicken sandwich, "What'd they get wrong this time Shelly?" she added, knowing he had a particular way he liked having his sandwiches made.

"I asked for turkey and roast beef with lettuce and Swiss on whole-wheat," he answered.

Raj shook his head before reaching out to write on a white board Claire had given him, since he still didn't seem able to talk around her and, now that she was there, she was around Sheldon more which meant they really needed another way for him to communicate besides whispering in people's ears, 'What did they give you?' he wrote.

"Turkey and roast beef with Swiss and lettuce on whole-wheat," he huffed, earning him an odd look from the boys while Claire just continued to eat her sandwich, though she nodded along as though she understood what the problem was, "It's the right ingredients but in the wrong order," he explained to the others, "In a proper sandwich, the cheese is adjacent to the bread to create a moisture barrier against the lettuce. They might as well have dragged this thing through a car wash," he let it flop back into his container, finished with it.

"Oh give it here Shelly," Claire reached out to take the container, careful not to touch his actual sandwich as she hadn't washed her hands and had just finished touching her own. Sheldon was rather big on germs and if he was already worried about the lettuce and Swiss touching in the wrong order, she could just tell he'd be at arms about her contaminating his turkey and roast beef sandwich with her chicken and white bread coated fingers, "It may still be salvageable," she got up and headed over to the kitchen, setting the container down and washing her hands before she really started to handle his food. The sandwich, from what she saw, just needed new bread and a bit of switching around and it would be just fine.

"I don't believe it," Leonard smiled at his computer.

"I know, it's basic culinary science!" Sheldon exclaimed with a huff, though he was watching Claire carefully perform her sandwich operation on his food.

"Some guy is auctioning off a miniature time machine prop from the original film and no one is bidding on it!" Leonard shook his head.

"A time machine from the movie The Time Machine?" Howard asked as the boys quickly gathered around him to look at the auction themselves.

"No, a time machine from Sophie's Choice," Leonard rolled his eyes.

Raj laughed, mumbling quietly as Claire was in 'another room' and his back was to her, "Boy, Sophie could have used a time machine in that movie. Did you see it? It's rough."

"Oh, that's cool," Howard eyed the picture of the prop, it really did look exactly like the one from the movie!

"Uh huh," Leonard beamed.

"It's only 800 dollars?" Raj asked, eyeing that someone had offered for it.

"Yeah. And that's my bid."

"You bid 800 dollars?" Claire asked, walking over with a new sandwich for Sheldon, sounding a bit incredulous, "On a miniature?"

"It was a spur of the moment thing," Leonard shrugged at that, "I figured it would go for thousands and I just wanted to be a part of it."

"There's only 30 seconds left in the auction," Sheldon remarked, taking a bite of his sandwich and letting out a groan of delight at how it tasted just right, smiling through his munching mouth at Claire in thanks, earning a wink from her. He really should stop ordering from that sandwich place and ask Claire if she might consider making his sandwiches for him from now on, it was even better than he thought it would be!

Ooh, he pouted, no, that wouldn't work. Claire really was a bad cook, he was sure the only reason she'd been able to make that sandwich for him was that it was already a sandwich, she just switched the lettuce and Swiss, it wasn't all that hard. He distinctly remembered her trying to make a sandwich for him once, he was going to make her Lembas bread from Lord of the Rings, a recipe he'd found on the internet in exchange. He'd managed to swallow the sandwich, which had been something as it ended up being bigger than his mouth could open, and slathered in mayo, and the tomatoes were leaking out the side, and there was too much lettuce, and he wasn't even sure why she thought it would be a good idea to put ketchup and mustard on the same sandwich with the mayo but he'd eaten it...and then requested that she not make sandwiches again after. It had just been a sloppy, towering mess. So he was actually rather thankful that this sandwich was already made and she wasn't adding anything to it but more performing surgery on it.

"Do you have $800?" Howard looked at Leonard, pulling Sheldon's thoughts back to the present.

"Not to blow on a miniature time machine," Leonard sighed.

Claire leaned forward, squinting as she read the description of the sale, not having her glasses on her as she hadn't been thinking she'd be reading anything when Sheldon invited her to have sandwiches with the boys. He'd apparently already ordered her a sandwich before she accepted so she really HAD to go have sandwiches with the boys, Penny was at her shift at an audition and she was home alone so there was no reason to say no. And Sheldon knew exactly the type of sandwich she liked so it wasn't like she had to pick what to eat.

"Don't worry," Howard waved it off, "The way these things work, there's people waiting till the last second to bid, and then they swoop in and get it, it's called sniping."

"Well he's got 15 seconds," Claire smirked.

"Come on, snipers," Leonard murmured.

"10, 9, 8…" she started to count down.

"Where are your snipers?"

"5."

"Snipe..."

"4."

"Snipe."

"3."

"Snipe!"

"2."

"SNIPE!"

"1."

"Oh come on!" Leonard groaned as the sale went off, the little page popping up telling him he was the winner of the auction.

"Congratulations," Claire patted him on the back, trying not to laugh at his defeated expression, "You got yourself a fine new-ish time machine, Leonard!"

"You lucky duck," Howard smirked.

"I wonder why no one else bid, this is a classic piece of sci-fi movie memorabilia," Sheldon frowned, taking another bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah, I know, I still can't afford it," Leonard sighed.

"Why don't we share it?" Howard remarked, "We'll each put in two hundred bucks and we'll take turns having it in our homes."

'A time share time machine,' Raj wrote on his whiteboard, 'I'm in.'

"Need you ask?" Sheldon smirked, getting excited, "But I still don't understand why no one else bid."

Claire laughed, shaking her head at the boys, "Oh, you will," she remarked mysteriously before she headed for the table, picking up her container and throwing it away, "See you boys later," she called, walking out, leaving them very confused.

~8~

The next day would find Sheldon, Raj, Howard, and Leonard standing in the bottom floor of the apartment building, staring at the full-sized time machine before them, Claire on the bottom step of the stairs, having been on her way down when Sheldon had knocked on her door to tell her that the time machine was there and hurry! She'd still needed to put on shoes and had come to meet them there...and couldn't help but shake her head at them, crossing her arms as she eyed the enormous thing.

"I understand why no one else bid," Sheldon remarked.

"Behold the beauty of small print," Claire laughed, "It was written right there in the product details, the dimensions of it. See," she hopped down the last step and nudged Sheldon, "The English degree is good for something."

Sheldon just rolled his eyes at that.

'Did the listing actually say miniature?' Raj turned to Leonard, holding up his white board for Leonard to read.

"I just assumed," Leonard shrugged, "Who sells a full sized time machine for 800 dollars!?"

"In a Venn diagram," Sheldon considered it a real question, "That would be an individual located within the intersection of the sets 'no longer want my time machine' and 'need 800 dollars.'"

"It's actually a tremendous bargain, even with shipping it works out to less than four dollars a pound," Howard offered.

'Cocktail shrimp are 12.50,' Raj wrote, agreeing.

"How are we going to get it upstairs?" Leonard frowned, shaking his head as he tried to work that one out. It wasn't like the one time Penny had asked them to bring a new mattress she'd ordered up to the fourth floor and they'd just needed to slide it and push it up...this was far larger, more complex, and much heavier.

"If we take the dish off it might fit in the elevator," Howard suggested.

"Yes but the elevator's been broken for two years," Leonard reminded him, pointing to the yellow caution tape that was stretched across the elevator doors.

"I've been meaning to ask you, do you think we should make a call about that?" Sheldon turned to him.

"Not necessary," Howard smirked, ambling over to it, "I have a Master's in Engineering, I remotely repair satellites on a regular basis, I troubleshoot space shuttle payloads. When the Mars rover started pulling to the left I performed a front end alignment from 62 million miles away," he pressed a few buttons on the lift, examining it, but nothing happened, "No," he turned back to them with a sheepish grin, "That baby's broken."

"Good," Claire smiled, and the boys looked at her, "What? I don't like elevators."

"Claire has a phobia of elevators," Sheldon explained.

"Yes," Claire huffed at that, not really having wanted that broadcast to everyone when it didn't need to be, "Thank you Sheldon."

"You know, I was thinking, we should really come up with a name for that particular phobia," Sheldon looked at Claire, "I don't believe one actually exists."

"It doesn't," she confirmed, "But I was thinking we should really come up with a way to get this thing out of the hall first," she gestured at the time machine, "You've got four flights of stairs boys and the science degrees, get to it."

~8~

Claire was standing at the top of the stairs, just outside the apartment doors on the fourth floor, watching as the four physically weakest men she had ever met pushed and pulled the time machine up the stairs, "Come on, guys, push!" Leonard pulled with Sheldon on top of the stairs.

"If I push any harder I'm going to give birth to my colon!" Howard groaned from behind it.

"I can't feel my fingers, hurry up!" Raj added, unable to see Claire or perhaps just too frustrated for his mutism to hit.

"It's the same amount of work no matter how fast you go, basic physics," Sheldon remarked.

"Sheldon?"

"Yeah?"

"If my fingers ever work again, I've got a job for the middle one."

"Hey Pen," Claire called as she saw Penny leaving their apartment in her Cheesecake Factory uniform.

"Oh, hey guys," Penny stopped short at the sight before her, now able to see the time machine half stuck in the stairwell as she got closer.

"Uh, hi Penny," Leonard greeted as he and Sheldon let go of the machine, nearly letting it fall on Raj and Howard, who screamed a little, "Take a break, guys!"

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I'm supervising," Claire smirked.

"Oh, just, you know, moving…something upstairs," Leonard shrugged.

"What is it?" Penny eyed it.

"It's…you know, time machine."

"Speaking of time," Claire glanced at her watch with a frown, "Doesn't your shift start in 10 minutes, Pen?"

"Yeah," Penny sighed, "I'm running really late..."

"Oh uh, just give us a few minutes," Leonard turned back to the time machine to move it.

"I don't have a few minutes."

"Then I have a simple solution," Sheldon spoke up, "Go up to the roof, hop over to the next building, there's a small gap, don't look down if you're subject to vertigo, and use their stairwell."

"You're joking, right?" Penny stared at him for a moment before turning to Claire, "He's joking right?"

Claire could only wince at that, realizing that, with the time machine stuck, that really was the only other way to get down to the street from there what with the elevator broken, "Shelly doesn't joke about vertigo."

"Damn," Penny huffed, "Ok, I'll just...take the roof."

"Hey, if you wait for us to set up the time machine, I can drop you off at work yesterday," Leonard laughed.

Penny just stared at him.

"It's a time travel joke," Claire explained, before shaking her head, making a shooing motion, "Just go, Pen."

Penny nodded and rushed off up the stairs.

"For what it's worth, I thought it was humorous," Sheldon stated, letting out a small breathy laugh that only Sheldon Cooper could do.

"Let's just do this," Leonard sighed and turned back to the time machine, "Guys, ready to push?"

"In a minute," Raj called, "Howard stepped outside to throw up."

"Ew," Claire grimaced at the thought.

~8~

Claire quickly pulled out the emergency key to Sheldon's apartment, her phone in her hand, rushing in...only to see Sheldon, Raj, and Howard rushing around the apartment as though they were in fast forward while Leonard sat in the flashing time machine, "That was fun!" Leonard laughed when things slowed down.

"Guys!" Claire ran over, cutting into the fun, "You need to make like a tree," she held up her phone, "Pen's on a warpath and..."

But it was too late for she found herself cut off by the door flying open behind her, a slightly worn and disheveled Penny entering, looking murderous, "Ok," she began, "First of all, what you call a gap was nearly three feet wide, I slipped and skinned my knee," she pointed at her leg, the knee very much red and raw.

"Are you ok?" Leonard moved to her side.

"Zzz!" Penny cut him off with a waving, pointed finger, "Second of all, the door to the stairwell of the other building was locked, so I had to go down the fire escape which ends on the third floor, forcing me to crawl through the window of a lovely Armenian family who insisted I stay for lunch."

"That doesn't sound too bad..."

"It was eight courses of lamb, and they tried to fix me up with their son!"

Leonard winced, "Sorry."

"Not done!" Penny cried, "By the time I finally got to work, they'd given my shift away. Yeah, that's right, I've lost an entire day's pay thanks to this…" she gestured at the prop, "This…"

"Time machine," Sheldon supplied.

"The lights flash and the dish spins, you wanna try it?" Leonard tried to smile.

"No!" Penny snapped, "I don't want to try it! My God, you are grown men, how could you waste your lives with these stupid toys and costumes and comic books and…and now that…that…"

"Again, time machine," Sheldon repeated.

"Oh please, it's not a time machine, if anything it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades!"

"It's not the TARDIS, Pen," Claire remarked lightly, "It only moves in time not space."

"It would be worse than useless in a swamp," Sheldon agreed.

"Come on, Pen," Claire stepped over to her side, putting her arm around Penny's shoulders, seeing the girl looked near tears at the day she'd had, "Let's get you some ice cream and a band-aid."

"Pathetic!" Penny shouted back over her shoulder at the boys, "All of you, completely pathetic!"

The boys looked at each other a moment as Claire shut the door behind the fuming Penny.

"My turn!" Raj called.

~8~

"You were a little harsh, Pen," Claire remarked as she crouched before Penny, a small first aid kit beside her, lightly dabbing at Penny's knee as she sat on the cover of her toilet in their apartment bathroom, "I know you had a bad day, but it's no reason to shout at them."

"If it hadn't been for their stupid..." Penny began.

"I know, sugar," Claire cut in gently, "Sorry," she added when Penny hissed at a dab, "Believe me, I know," she let out a small laugh, "There was one time when we were ooh...7 years old? Shelly wanted me to help him sort through and categorize his comic collections," she shook her head at that, "Didn't even realize we'd stacked all the boxes in front of his door till it was time for me to get to dinner, and Shelly ain't exactly the strongest person. Just imagine this little kid trying to push a huge box away from his door," she chuckled, "I wasn't about to climb out his window either so I didn't get home till two hours after dinner was over."

Penny frowned at that, "Did your mom get mad?" she'd done that a few times, missed curfew or when she was supposed to be home and got yelled at and grounded.

"MY mama?" Claire snorted, "My mama didn't even realize I hadn't come home till then," she shook her head, "Nah, I just...had to make my own dinner."

"But you can't cook," Penny remarked, unable to think that a 7 year old would be allowed near a stove either.

"I had some chips," she shrugged, "It was fine."

"Chips for dinner?"

"Penny, I grew up in a trailer park," she reminded the girl, "And, let's just say, my trailer wasn't the nicest on the block."

Penny nodded slowly at that, "Sorry."

Claire waved it off, "We all move on from the past, I'm not there anymore, I'm right here with Shelly," she smiled at Penny, "And new friends too."

Penny couldn't help the small smile that made its way onto her face from Claire's words, not just because the girl seemed genuinely happy to be there, to be her roommate, but also...because she was sort of an afterthought. Claire had brought up Sheldon first and then the friends after. It was kind of cute to think that Sheldon and Claire were that good of friends.

"Almost done," Claire told her, pulling out a bandage, "Just gotta get this on and you're good to go."

"You're pretty good at this," Penny remarked, "Barely felt a thing."

Claire just shrugged at that, "You pick up some things in Texas," was all she offered, "And Shelly can be THE biggest baby when he gets even a paper cut," she joked, "You gotta be gentle or he'll hiss and complain and whine about it."

Penny sighed, "How do you put up with that?" she asked, "Not just the whining or whatever, but...all that sci-fi stuff and...and comic books and Star Trek? How can you stand it? When they start talking Klingon and...and buying the Death Star or..."

"I don't think they'd ever buy the actual Death Star," Claire teased.

"But really though," Penny shook her head, "Doesn't it ever get to you?"

Claire was quiet a moment, "Sometimes," she admitted, "Sometimes it gets to be a bit much, yeah," especially when her temper was short or if she had a migraine, but everything just seemed that much worse when her head hurt, "But..." she shrugged, "It makes Shelly happy," she answered simply, "It makes all those boys happy, their science fiction and their Klingon. They work hard, every day, to make a difference in their fields and I'd guess Shelly wasn't the only one bullied as a kid, I don't want to be like that," she focused on Penny's bandage, "When you make fun of someone for loving something, it just seems...cruel. You wouldn't want anyone to think your acting passion was something to laugh at, would you?" she glanced up at Penny who was considering her words, "You love to act, you pay for classes for it, you go on auditions, you buy clothes to get in character, you watch movies to study their acting...would you want them to make fun of you for that?"

"No," Penny sighed, before shaking her head, "I was a bitch to them, wasn't I?"

"Not quite THAT bad," Claire lightly patted Penny above her knee, turning to close up the first aid kit, "But you were sorta mean."

Penny nodded, "I guess...the things they like, how much they like it, it makes them what they are. And that's pretty good guys."

"Well, Howard's a little creepy..."

"Oh yeah, total creep," Penny agreed, "But still, I should apologize to Leonard next time I see him," she decided.

"Well, till then," Claire nodded, understanding that Penny wanted time to cool down as she was still a little upset about the loss of pay and injury, "How about we pop in one of your movies and I'll get that ice cream I mentioned?"

"That'd be great," Penny smiled at her.

~8~

"Leonard?" Sheldon frowned as he entered the living room that night to see Leonard sitting in the time machine, fiddling with the buttons, turning the lights on and off, "It's two in the morning."

"So?" he sighed.

"So it's my turn," Sheldon leaned over, peering at the controls, at the date he'd set it for, "Why did you set it for the day before yesterday?"

"Because I want to go back and keep myself from getting a time machine."

"You can't," Sheldon stated, as though the reason for it should be obvious, "If you were to prevent yourself from buying it in the past, you would not have it available in the present to travel back and stop yourself from buying it, ergo you would still have it. This is a classic rookie time travel mistake."

"Can I go back and prevent you from explaining that to me?" Leonard shot at him.

"Same paradox," Sheldon answered, "If you were to travel back in time and, say, knock me unconscious, you would not then have the conversation that irritated you, motivating you to go back and knock me unconscious."

"What if I knocked you unconscious right now?"

"It won't change the past."

"But it would make the present so much nicer."

Sheldon stared at him a moment, seeming to be examining him, considering Leonard's words, "...are you upset about something?"

"What was your first clue?" he asked sarcastically.

But, as often was the case, that was lost on Sheldon, who answered seriously, "Well, it was a number of things. First the late hour, then your demeanor seems very low energy, plus your irritability…"

"Yes I'm upset!" Leonard cut in.

"Oh!" Sheldon blinked, "I don't usually pick up on those things. Good for me," he smiled, moving to head back to bed.

"Yeah, good for you," Leonard mumbled.

"Oh, wait," Sheldon turned around, "Did you want to talk about what's bothering you?"

"I don't know," Leonard sighed, "Maybe."

Sheldon nodded and moved to his desk, to his laptop where his cell phone was charging next to it, picking it up, "What are you doing?" Leonard asked, watching him.

"Telling Claire to come over," he set down the phone, having sent the message.

"Why?" Leonard shook his head.

"She's a girl," Sheldon remarked, frowning a moment as he pondered Leonard's question, "Aren't girls better at talking?"

"Yeah…" came the tired yawn of Claire as the door opened and she shuffled in, a TARDIS blue bathrobe around her, her hair sticking up on the side, and...neon orange socks on her feet, "What's it Shelly?"

"Leonard wants to talk."

She nodded, moving to the armchair across from the time machine, half dazed, and plopping down on it, turning so she could see Leonard sitting inside it, "What is it?" she asked as she curled up on the chair, resting her head on her hand as her elbow rested on her knee.

"Uh, here's the thing," Leonard began, seeing the logic in talking to Claire, being a girl and Penny's roommate...and far more socially adept than Sheldon was, "Girls like Penny never end up with guys who own time machines."

"I disagree," Claire shook her head, her eyes drifting shut, "If you had a TARDIS, I'd say call me Rose."

Sheldon grimaced, "I prefer Sarah Jane."

"I know you do, Shelly," Claire mumbled, blinking a bit as she tried to keep awake, but it was 2 in the morning and she and Penny had only just got through the end of their movies an hour ago, she was exhausted, "S'not the point."

"Right, yes," Sheldon nodded, getting back to the topic, "Your inability to successfully woo Penny long predates your acquisition of the time machine. That failure clearly stands on its own."

"Thanks for pointing it out," Leonard rolled his eyes.

"In addition, your premise is flawed. In the original film, Rod Taylor got Yvette Mimeaux with that very time machine. In Back to the Future, Marty McFly got the opportunity to hook up with his extremely attractive young mother."

"Mhmm…" Claire murmured, half listening, her eyelids falling shut again.

"Those are movies," Leonard argued.

"Well of course they're movies," Sheldon rolled his eyes, "Were you expecting me to come up with an example involving a real life time machine?" before he suddenly started whispering, "That's absurd."

"What?" Leonard called, not able to hear him.

"Shh!" Sheldon hissed, putting a finger to his lips, nodding at Claire, who had fallen asleep on the armchair. Well, that had been rather pointless to invite her over to talk to Leonard if she was just going to fall asleep on them. Though it DID remind him that he should probably get to bed, he didn't like it when his sleeping pattern was thrown off and, well, with Claire out and unable to talk to Leonard, there was no point in the conversation continuing, Leonard had agreed HE would not be the best one to talk him through this, there was no reason for him to still be there.

Leonard watched as Sheldon moved around the room, placing a couch pillow behind Claire's head and covering her with a blanket from the couch before gingerly patting her on the head and whispering, "Sleep tight," before nodding at Leonard and walking off.

"Huh…" Leonard mumbled, shaking his head as he got up and went to sleep as well, not wanting to disturb Claire...and not quite sure he'd actually just witnessed Sheldon Cooper showing care to someone of his own freewill without prompting...maybe he was dreaming?

~8~

Claire winced as she rolled her neck, heading up the stairs of the apartment building with a canvas bag of books from Barnes and Nobles clutched in her arms. She shifted the bag a bit, barely holding it with one arm as she reached up her other hand to massage her shoulder, that was what she got for sleeping on an armchair all night. She stopped short just at the bottom of the stairs that led to the 4th floor, spotting Sheldon blocking the path down with a toy sword in hand, Raj and Howard there, both looking alarmed as Leonard stood before them, an action figure of some sort in a box held up in his hands, seeming about to rip it open.

"Ok man, be cool, we're all friends here," Howard held up his hands, trying to calm Leonard.

Claire rolled her eyes, guessing what was going on, Leonard was threatening to open a mint condition something or other and the boys were trying to stop him. The fact that he had a box of 'geeky' items beside him and Sheldon was blocking his way had to mean that he was trying to take them somewhere, maybe get rid of them? Either way she knew this was not something she could do, but something Penny would really have to confront, it probably all had to do with Penny's remarks about the boys anyway. So she headed up the stairs, ducking under Sheldon's arms, and moving to her apartment, knocking on the door, "Pen, little help out here!"

Penny opened the door moments later, stepping out in her PJs of Hello Kitty shorts and a pink tank, "What the hell's going on?" she looked at the boys.

"You hypocrite!" Sheldon pointed the fake sword at her.

"What?" Penny looked at Claire who shook her head, equally as confused.

"Little Miss Grown-ups-don't-play-with-toys,'" he mimicked stepping closer, "If I were to go into that apartment right now, would I find Beanie Babies? Are you not an accumulator of Care Bears and My Little Ponies? And who is that Japanese feline I see frolicking on your shorts?" he pointed the sword at it, "Hello, Hello Kitty!"

"Ok, ok look, if this is about yesterday, Leonard," she walked over to him, "I am really sorry about what I said, I was just a bit upset."

"No, I needed to hear it," Leonard shook his head.

"No you didn't," Penny sighed, "Look, Claire got me thinking, and you are a great guy, and it is things you love that make you who you are."

"I guess that makes me large breasts," Howard muttered, "Ow!" he winced as Claire reached into her bag of books and whacked him on the arm with it.

"Still, I think it's time for me to get rid of this stuff and…you know…move on with my life," Leonard argued.

"Really?" Penny eyed him, wanting to be sure he really meant it and it wasn't because of her, because...Claire was right, the guys really loved this stuff and she would have been devastated if someone critiqued her love of acting to the point where she wanted to give it up.

"Yeah."

"Oh," she blinked, "Wow. Good for you," she gave him a sideways hug and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks," Leonard smiled, encouraged, "Hey, do you want to, I don't know, later…"

He trailed off, seeing Claire shaking her head and making a cutting motion at her neck. He gave her a frown of question only for it to be answered moments later when a rather attractive man called out to Penny as he reached their floor.

"Excuse me," the man smiled at Penny, "Hey, Penny!"

"Hi Mike," Penny greeted back.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I just have to change."

"I'll give you a hand," Mike grinned, playfully chasing her into the apartment.

"Oh, stop it!" she laughed, calling a "Bye guys!" over her shoulder as she shut the door.

"Tried to warn you," Claire sighed, shaking her head at Leonard.

Leonard was silent a long moment before, "My turn on the time machine!" and running back into the apartment.

Sheldon paused as Howard, Raj, and Leonard ran past him and back in, to look at Claire, "Do you want a turn?"

She blinked, "Oh, Shelly, are you offering little old me a chance to travel in time?"

"It's not a TARDIS," Sheldon shrugged, "But it's fun," he glanced past her and to the door, "And I doubt you want to be in your apartment while Penny's friend Mike helps her dress."

Claire winced and nodded, "Yeah, I'm starting to like Penny a lot, but I don't think I like her quite THAT much to witness that yet," she started to walk towards the apartment.

"And honestly, needing help dressing at her age?" Sheldon scoffed, actually taking it literally that Mike was helping her put clothes ON instead of the reverse, "Talk about needing to grow up."

Claire shook her head at that, "Oh, Shelly, never change."

"I don't plan on it," he remarked, reaching out to take the bag of books from her to carry himself, "What did you buy?"

Claire beamed at that and held up the book she'd hit Howard with, "Cleared out the Bargain section of cook books!"

Sheldon blinked at that, "Cook books?"

She nodded, "Penny's offered to teach me and..."

Whatever she was saying was cut off as Sheldon's mind began to race with the implications, mentally making a list of all the fire hazard materials, first aid products, and other protective items he would need to stock up on if Penny, who wasn't exactly a chef herself, was going to try and teach Claire to cook.

Oh dear lord, they were going to burn down the building weren't they?

~8~

Sheldon sat in the time machine, in the middle of a jungle, looking at the dial reading 'APR 28, 802,701' and gasped, "It worked. It really worked. They said I was mad, but it worked!" he looked around hearing a twig crack to see large, hairy, white creatures with glowing, red eyes walking through the forest towards him, "Oh no, not Morlocks! Not flesh-eating Morlocks! Help!" he screamed as they lunged for him…

~8~

Only to wake up in the living room of his apartment, Leonard standing before him, "Sheldon, are you ok?"

"We have to get rid of the time machine," he stated.

"It is a little big for the living room, isn't it?" Leonard agreed.

"Yeah," he nodded slowly, "THAT'S the problem, it's too big."

"I'm glad you agree. I hired some guys to help us move it, come on in fellas," Leonard called and a pair of Morlocks in movers uniforms entered the room.

"Oh no, Morlocks!" Sheldon gasped, "Eat him, eat him!" he pointed at Leonard, but the Morlocks advanced on HIM instead, "Ahhh!" he screamed...

And jolted up in bed, letting out a breath at the realization it was just a nightmare.

He reached over and grabbed his phone, now fully charged and resting in his room, "Claire!" he called, not texting but needing to talk.

"Shelly?" she asked, a yawn in her voice, "What's the matter? You alright? You need me to come over?"

He let out a breath, "No, I just...I had a bad dream," he hesitated a moment, before asking her quietly, "Will you sing soft kitty to me?"

"Soft Kitty is for when you're sick, Shelly," she teased.

"Anxious and frightened is a kind of sick," he countered.

She let out a little laugh, "Just for you Shelly," she agreed, before singing quietly, a little off-key, her voice still thick from being woken up and gravelly, but soothing nonetheless, "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr...better?"

"Yes, thank you," he laid back down.

"Good night, Shelly Bean," she yawned.

He smiled, "Good night, Claire Bear."

A/N: Aww :) I really wanted to have that conversation with Penny in there, I felt so bad for Leonard when she shouted at him. Understandable in that she was upset and had a really bad day because of the Time Machine, but I think she took it a little too far and just wanted someone to talk to her about it ;)

Some notes on reviews...

Amy would probably be more coldly-logical which could come across as mean, sort of in the same way that some things Sheldon says, while HE thinks it's reasonable to say out loud end up making others upset or irritated in that sense ;) Claire has enough experience with Sheldon to know how to handle Amy if she does the same...actually, though, it'll be more something Sheldon does that'll upset Claire more than Amy }:)

Thank you for the tidbits! I went back and changed them ;)

Claire definitely holds herself back sometimes, yup :) She knows how important Sheldon's intelligence is to him and she doesn't really feel the need to flaunt her own intelligence as much, so she never really feels a need to show him up but let him feel smarter :) There'll be a little bit more about their childhood and another reason why she holds back too and for why he wants to be seen as the smartest ;)