Category: Humor, Spiritual
Summary: Observations on our favorite couple by those who've passed on.
"Hi, Jacob," she greets her friend.
"Janet," he replies. "Whatcha doin'?"
Hmmmm … Someone's spent a little too much time with a certain wise-cracking General.
Janet still wonders what the Joint Chiefs were smoking when they decided to promote Jack to Brigadier General. Not that he didn't deserve it, but he is the most sarcastic, obstinate, bull-headed, undiplomatic …
"Did you hear; he's been promoted again," Jacob says with an evil grin.
Prescience comes with their new forms, but sometimes Jacob Carter is downright spooky. "Yes," Janet replies. Then she returns the evil grin. "He and Sam are still together, you know."
Jacob grimaces playfully. "I knew he'd be trouble the first time I met him," he offers. "He called her Sam at a medal ceremony, for crying …". He coughs and doesn't finish the sentence.
SJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJ
"Hey, Carter!"
"Hi, sir."
"So … whatcha doin'?"
"I'm about to do an analysis of …".
"Carter …" – this comes in a growl – "evil."
"I learned from the best."
"And I'm proud; really. And now that you're back at the SGC, I expect more of the same."
"Of course!" There is a pause. "I ran into Agent Barrett when we were dealing with the whole Ba'al clone thing."
"Ah. Triple Bocce … not my idea of a good thing."
"No, sir. Anyway, Malcolm …"
"Malcolm?"
"Yes, sir. He asked me if I was single again."
"And …?"
"I said not exactly."
"Ah, for crying out …". There are several nasty foreign expletives Janet has never heard before. "Carter; what did you agree?"
"That I wasn't to torment you – unless I was wearing a certain … item."
"Right! And are you wearing that … certain item?"
"Sir … I'm in my lab."
"That's not an answer, Carter."
"Well, drop by tonight, and you'll find out."
"Deal." There is a short silence. "Carter?"
"Yes, sir."
"I love ya."
"Love you too." There is another pause. "Sir?"
"Yeah."
"I'm wearing a different item. It's blue."
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm."
SJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJ
"Is Jack O'Neill moaning? At my daughter?" Jacob shudders again. "That's just … wrong."
"They're good together," Janet consoles him, trying to hide her grin. "You know that or you wouldn't have given her that whole 'You can still have everything' speech."
"Hey, I was dying!" Jacob excuses himself. "I want her to be happy – doesn't mean I want to know how she gets happy."
"Hah; you didn't see them at their first meeting," Charlie Kawalsky interrupts. He shrugs. "Just … spontaneous combustion." He grins. "I thought they'd either kill each other or ravage each other." He grins again. "They're not dead yet."
"Argghh! Too much information, Charlie!" Jacob protests.
Charlie grins again. "C'mon Jacob, lighten up," he taunts. "You can't tell me you think someone as gorgeous as Sam is gonna stay a virgin forever."
"Ugh." Jacob shudders. "Drop dead, Kawalsky."
"Already done it," Charlie sing-songs.
"Encore!" the former Tok'ra growls.
"Children," Janet interrupts wearily. Then she grins as she accesses the past and watches Sam and Jack's first meeting. "Wow; I see what you mean, Charlie," she says. "Spontaneous combustion."
"Oh yeah!" Charlie agrees.
Jacob groans and disappears back into the ether.
Charlie looks at Janet mournfully. "You broke my toy."
