Kind of smaller than usual, but this part's important. :)

The Month of Hiding (August) Age 7

Week 1

The stupid feeling kept getting worse. And to make it even more horrible, I've been having second thoughts about thieving. Yeah, I know. I always have fun when I'm stealing, I'm good at it, and it's basically the perfect job for me. But…well, it feels wrong, somehow, knowing that Summer passed away. It seemed okay before because I knew, or thought, that people like her was there to guard it. Swiping stuff always seemed like a game to me that way, with whoever was faster or more cunning getting the prize in the end. Now that I know she's gone, all those items look defenseless, and it'd just be sad and wrong to filch them now.

I really have to stop thinking this!

Week 2

Kanrik came to see us again. I guess the Kyrii had a word with him, because he said to me, "Are you quite alright, Hanso? You aren't performing up to your usual standards."

"You mean humiliating you in front of the class?" I asked. He gave a brief nod, to my surprise. I just stared at the floor. "I don't know. I just don't feel like it."

He raised his eyebrows. "You are definitely not acting like yourself. Have you been replaced by a clone or something?"

I wasn't used to the guild leader displaying a sense of humor (no matter how bad it was) so I snickered a little. He smiled slightly. "I've told your teacher to give you a break, for now. Just get over it soon. We need at least a few good thieves around here."

That was nice of him to say that, but I don't see getting over whatever it is soon. Ugh…being unfocused, practically letting Kayley beat me- it's enough to drive me crazy.

Week 3

Kayley cornered me after class. She got right to the point. "What is your problem?"

"Huh?"

"Look, I don't usually like you upstanding me, but I need competition. I can't challenge the rest of these losers- they're way too easy. And don't deny it!" She snapped, when I opened my mouth. "You've got to get your head back in the game. Now tell me what happened."

I was about to refuse to say anything, when I decided, who cares? What have I got to lose? Yeah, I'm a little reckless when I think like that. So I told her how Summer 'convinced' me to become a thief.

"How touching," she said, her voice a little sarcastic. "Now what does this have to do with your problem again?"

I hesitated for a moment, and then also recounted how I recently saw her grave. I didn't mention that Brynn took me there and how I stood up for her- I'm not as mad as that, yet- but I narrated it like I stumbled upon the guard memorial while trying to find someone to put me in jail, when I saw her tombstone all messed up. When I realized it was hers, well- something snapped.

She didn't sound as mean now, though she did say, "You shouldn't care so much for a guard. That's always, always risky."

"Come on," I complained moodily. "She's dead, alright? So it's not a problem."

"Mm-hmm. Well, the emotion that your feeling, if you want to know, is called bereavement."

"Bereavement?"

"It's like another word for grief. It comes in stages, you know? You were sorta in the bargaining stage when we all noticed, probably thinking that if you didn't steal things, she'd come back. And Hanso, you need someone to get this clear: She isn't. Ever." Her tone was firm when she said this, like she needed to convince me. She didn't. I mean, I always knew. Why does she have to repeat the obvious? I was about to tell her so when she said, "I think you're in the denial stage now."

I shut up. Maybe she was right after all.

"I guess you've already passed your anger phase. I mean, I haven't seen you randomly hitting or lashing out at anyone." I shifted a little guiltily. "But now you're in depression. You have this cold, empty ache inside, right?" I nodded. "You know, it might be good for you to visit her grave again."

I shook my head decisively. "No way. It's still kinda too painful."

"Denial," she sang.

"It's not!"

"It is. As soon as you see it, you'll feel better. Really." Now I've been thinking about it, but it still doesn't seem like such a good idea. What if I get caught? I probably wouldn't have enough energy to even attempt to run away. And I don't think other guards would be as nice as Brynn to leave me my tools.

Week 4

Kayley woke me up at four a.m. earlier today. I guess she figured that was the time when I was the weakest. She was right.

"What are you doing here?" I asked grumpily when she showed up at my doostep. "My parents aren't even awake yet!"

"I want you to see something."

"But-"

"Please." Hearing Kayley say please is an extreme rarity, especially when she said it with a pleading tone. I sighed, took one last longing look at my bed, and groggily followed her. My senses came on red alert, however, when we got to the guard memorial.

"I told you that I don't want to see it!" I nearly shouted, beginning to turn around.

"No, you HAVE to!" And with surprising force, she gripped my hand and dragged me inside. The gesture strangely reminded me of Brynn. I was about to pull away angrily when Kayley pointed to the tombstone. Slowly, my gaze followed her finger.

At first, I was afraid to look. Eventually, though, I got myself to. And what I saw made me gasp in amazement.

The grave looked peaceful again. A fresh layer of green grass was spread around the ground around it. A new vase of flowers was erected artistically above. The stone monument was pristine and perfect, not a single marking marring its top. Peering closer, I saw a motto as well as her name: Always believe in yourself. I think that cheered me up more than anything.

"I don't know why you made such a big deal of it," Kayley continued. "It looks alright. Even kind of pretty."

"I guess…I guess someone cleaned it up." And I had a feeling I knew who. I sighed contentedly, feeling like a weight had been lifted.

"And so goes the last stage," Kayley said, sounding like a know-it-all. "Acceptance." Then she straightened up. "You will never, ever, tell anyone about this, got it?"

I grinned- the first time I had for more than a month. "Of course."

"Good."

Later that day, I outshined her in every single subject. Based on the glares she's been shooting me, it's plain that she was regretting what she'd done. She was correct- competing with people not as good as her made her lose her edge.

I didn't feel guilty, since I knew that even though Summer wasn't there anymore, the kingdom wasn't completely defenseless. There were a few in the guard that still cared about justice; and there was one in particular that I had in mind.