Family
Chapter 7: Gone
Author's note: Previously, on Family, Fate is leaving VLA and informed only a few people about it. Heero was kept in the dark until the last minute. Heero rushed to the airport to try to stop Fate from leaving, but he was too late…
How will Fate's departure affect everyone? Will Heero see the box that Fate left behind for him? What's going to happen now that Fate's gone? What is Fate up to?
This chapter is rather depressing, hence you are warned.
Thank you for reading this story and I hope that you will continue to support it. Please read and review, NO FLAMERS! Pairing: HeeroXOC, 1XOC
After Colony 201, 26th July,
Colony L1, VLA
Wingate Mansion
Night time
Rachel Wingate was watching her youngest children do their homework. She looked out of the glass windows and noticed that it was raining heavily outside. Rachel knew that Fate had already left VLA this morning. She had a feeling that Heero still had no idea what was going on. Heero was supposed to join them for dinner tonight, but he didn't show up. Rachel wondered if something was wrong. Angel and Aaron were smiling at her and she smiled back in return. It was good to take a break from everything else and look after her children. Just then, the butler, Walter came over and bowed to her.
"Madam, someone is here to see you." Walter informed her.
"Show the person in." Rachel told him.
Walter went away while Rachel waited for the person to come in.
"This way please, young master." Walter told the person.
Rachel looked up and she wasn't surprised to see Heero. But she was surprised to see the state that he was in. His face was as emotionless as ever, but his eyes told a different story. His eyes were completely empty, as if he had lost his soul.
"Heero!" Angel greeted her eldest brother with a smile.
Heero merely nodded at her.
"Angel and Aaron, can you continue to do your homework on your own?" Rachel asked them.
The two of them nodded and smiled at Heero.
"Do approach Jace if you need help." Rachel reminded them.
The non identical twins nodded and packed up their items. They greeted Rachel and Heero goodbye and Angel even gave Heero a wide smile when she past him. Walter bowed to the two of them and then led the two young children away from the room. Rachel poured Heero a cup of hot tea instead.
"Have a sit and drink this tea, it should calm you down." Rachel told him.
"I'm not in the mood for tea." Heero said through clenched teeth.
Rachel merely raised an eyebrow at him. She wasn't sure what have happened to make him like this, but she was certain that it has something to do with Fate.
"I expected you to show up earlier. Dinner is already over two hours ago." Rachel told him.
"You knew… You knew that Fate was leaving." Heero told her.
Their eyes met and Rachel was saddened when she saw the sadness and emptiness in his eyes. But she drank her tea calmly while she thought of how he knew about it.
"What makes you think so?" Rachel asked him.
"Walter told me that Fate was here five days ago." Heero told her.
Rachel sighed, looks like she had no choice but to admit it.
"Yes, I knew that she was leaving VLA." Rachel told him.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Heero asked her.
"Because I promised Fate that I wouldn't tell anyone about it and because I believe that it's a good thing for everyone, especially you." Rachel told him.
Heero didn't respond but the look on his face was heart breaking. Rachel didn't understand why Heero was looking like that, isn't Fate just a good friend of his? Surely her departure wouldn't affect him like this.
"What do you mean?" Heero asked her.
Rachel sighed instead.
"I know everything, Heero… about what have happened between you and Fate."
Heero didn't know how to react to the news; Fate must have told Rachel about it.
"She told me that she had finally confessed her love for you, but you rejected her. Let it go, Heero… This way you cannot hurt her anymore than you already have." Rachel told him.
Heero didn't move at all, he continued to stare at her.
"She hasn't been well since that day, Heero." Rachel told him softly.
Heero had no idea what she was talking about.
"She hasn't been eating, sleeping well and even so, she still continues to push herself to work for such long hours during her promotional tour. She's getting weaker, Heero. I know that if she continues to stay here, things will only get worst. She has to forget about you and it's the only way she can move on. She deserves a chance to find true love, Heero. If you can't give her that, then maybe you should just let her go." Rachel told him.
"She didn't have to leave…"
"She has to, Heero. Staying here will only remind her of you." Rachel told him.
Heero looked down at the floor instead.
"I was too late…" Heero told her softly.
"Late? What do you mean?" Rachel asked.
"I tried to stop her from leaving." Heero told her.
"You tried to stop her?" Rachel echoed in disbelief.
It's not that she didn't believe her son, but somehow she couldn't see why Heero will do something like that.
"But the plane already took off when I got there." Heero told her.
"Heero…" Rachel whispered, knowing that he must be devastated to see the plane flying off.
"If I didn't hesitate, I might still be able to catch her before she leaves." Heero told her.
Rachel noticed how his hands were already clenched into a fist and he seems to be shaking a little.
"How did you find out that she's leaving VLA?" Rachel asked softly.
"Arabella told Trowa and Trowa told me about it." Heero told her.
It pains her to see her son in so much pain, but Rachel had no idea how to comfort him.
"And?" Rachel asked softly, prompting him to continue talking.
"I feel heavy… I feel as if I have lost something… something that is very important to me… I didn't want her to leave…"
Heero's body continued to tremble as he continued to look at the ground. Rachel wanted to go over and comfort him, but she wasn't sure if he would allow her to do so. It was heartbreaking for a mother to see her son like that. She merely continued to look at him sadly. Then she remembered that Fate had left something with her.
"She left me something, something that she wanted me to pass to you." Rachel told him.
Heero slowly looked up and he saw Rachel pointing to the carton box that was placed on the coffee table infront of her. Heero slowly went over and he opened the carton box. He found himself staring at some of his clothing; he picked up the first shirt that was on the top of the box.
"This shirt…" Heero muttered.
Rachel merely watched him as he examined the shirt that was in his hands. The shirt was totally clean, there weren't any tears in it nor did it have any stains. Rachel saw the Coat of Arms of the Wingate Family was sewed into the right sleeve of the shirt, and Heero's name was sewed below the coat of arms. Rachel remembered this shirt, as it was the first gift that she had given him when she found out that Heero was her long lost son. She remembered that she was the one who had sewed the coat of arms as well as Heero's name on the right sleeve of the shirt. Heero looked up for a moment as he thought about what have happened to this shirt.
This shirt was his favourite shirt. Why was it his favourite shirt? Because it was the first thing his real birth mother had given to him. It might not mean much to other people, but it meant a lot to him. It proved that he had found his real family. It also meant that he wasn't going to be lost and alone anymore.
But this shirt was totally ruined when Heero was ambushed by people who wanted to kill him for revenge. He went to Fate for help and he remembered that it was a tough night as he had nearly died. This shirt was torn very badly and it was stained with so much blood that Fate deemed it un-savable. But Heero wouldn't let her throw it away. Eventually Heero was in so much pain that he forgot all about it. After he was well, he believed that Fate had already thrown it away and hence he never asked her about it again.
Staring at this shirt now, Heero wondered how Fate had managed to repair this shirt. She had deemed it un-savable, why didn't she just throw it away? Why did she mend it back for him? Then it hit him, she mended it back for him because she knew that it was important to him, because he wouldn't let her throw it away. Heero placed the shirt back down and was suddenly at a loss for words. He was touched by what she had done.
She didn't need to repair this shirt back to its original state. She didn't need to repair it for him because he hadn't asked her to. She could have just bought him another one, if she wanted to. She didn't have to repair it for him… She didn't need to… She must have put in a lot of effort in repairing it, judging from what state this shirt was in the last time he saw it. But why? Why was she always going so far out to do something for him, even when she had nothing to gain in return? Even when he still treated her badly and only continued to disappoint her.
"Because Fate loves you, Heero. And she always had." Rachel told him as if she had read his mind.
Heero looked at his own mother instead. Rachel had a feeling that he wanted to cry, but somehow he didn't seem like he knew how. Or maybe the tears just refused to come out. Rachel noticed how his grip around the shirt had tightened. Rachel then moved away to where the glass windows were. She looked out of the windows instead. While Heero didn't move at all as he continued to stare at the shirt infront of him.
"Someone once told me that if you cry in the rain, no one will be able to tell that you are crying." Rachel told him softly.
Heero said nothing, because he knew that the person who said that was Fate. Fate had said the same thing to him before.
"You should decide what you are going to do now that Fate has left VLA. Will you move on, or will you go after her?" Rachel asked.
"I should go…." Heero told her.
Rachel watched as Heero left the room, he had left without taking the carton box with him... Rachel then returned to her seat on the sofa. As she drank her tea, she couldn't help feeling that no matter how much sugar she adds to her tea, it wasn't going to be sweet anymore.
Heero chose to walk home instead. He needed time to think and this was the only way that he could think of. Images of Fate kept on flashing before his eyes. He had his chance to stop her and he was unable to. He was a complete failure… But now he didn't even know why he was feeling this way. He didn't want her to leave; he didn't want to lose her.
The summer rain was pouring down on him, but he didn't care that it was making him wet. The heavy rain reflected how he was feeling right now… He was feeling sad, cold, lonely and heavy at the same time. Heero looked up at the night sky as the heavy rain continued to drench him from head to toe.
"Someone once told me that if you cry in the rain, no one will be able to tell that you are crying." He heard Fate's voice telling him that.
Heero had never cried before. Not when the pain was unbearable, not when he was feeling down, not even when he was on the verge of death. He didn't know why, it could be because he had never cried before. Or maybe it was because he didn't know how.
Heero continued to stand there in the rain as he looked up at the night sky. If only these water droplets came from him… Heero knew that if he could cry, he would be crying right now. Images and memories that he has of Fate flashed before his eyes as he continued to stand in the rain. He misses her; he didn't want to lose her…
"Fate…" He whispered to no one.
3 days later, 29th July
Japan, Tokyo, De Camden Mansion
Morning
It has been three days since Fate has left VLA to return to Japan. She did return to Sakura City first, but then she took another flight to go to Tokyo. It has been a long time since she actually stayed at her first home and she felt that it would be a nice to return there. Fate has too many things to do that she didn't even think about Heero at all. She was glad to wake up each day after a good night's sleep. She hadn't cried for three days now and her heart has not felt the familiar heartache she always felt whenever she thought of Heero.
There's only one month left for the summer season and Fate intended to use her time well. The change in environment was good for her. The air here was fresher even though the weather was slightly warmer. Lastly, it was good to be close to her family again. Fate was really glad that she had finally returned home.
Fate was sitting at a table near in the grand library. She was busy reading the books that she has never read before. Nothing seems to have been changed since the last time she was here.
"I cannot believe you, you are still reading?"
Fate looked up and smiled as she saw her sister, Faith approach her. Faith is two years younger than Fate and she is also the youngest in the family.
"If you spend the whole day reading, mother will scold me for not entertaining you." Faith told her.
"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" Fate asked.
Faith is still a university student.
"I don't have any classes today." Faith answered and she sat down at the chair opposite Fate.
Faith frowned when she realized that Fate had continued to read her book. Faith peeked at the title of the book and then she smiled.
"You still read those things?" Faith asked.
"What's wrong with reading them?" Fate asked softly.
"Well we all know why you are back here; you came back to Japan because you gave up on your pursuit on a certain somebody." Faith told her.
Fate didn't want to talk about Heero or even hear his name, so she thought of a way to change the topic.
"Since you have already given up, why are you still reading romance novels? Are you trying to win him back? Or are you preparing for the future instead?" Faith asked.
"I'm reading them for leisure." Fate replied, finding it a little hard to concentrate on the story book that she was reading.
"You know what you need?" Faith asked.
Fate didn't respond to her question, but she has a bad feeling that it wouldn't be something good.
"You need to find another man and make this man your boyfriend." Faith told her.
Fate closed the book that she was reading instead.
"Isn't the proper way of moving on is to find someone new?" Faith asked.
"It is… But…"
Fate couldn't picture herself with another other man now.
"I don't see myself with anyone else." Fate whispered.
"That is because you don't really have a lot of male friends. And you haven't met someone special yet." Faith told her.
Fate knew that she was bad at relationships because she waited four years for someone who didn't even notice her. While in these four years, all her other siblings already had their fair share of relationships. They have been in and out of relationships and that makes them more experienced than Fate.
"There's a pool party this afternoon, why don't you join me? I can introduce you to a few of my boyfriend's friends. And I'm sure Fayne cannot wait to show you her new boyfriend." Faith told her.
Fate felt upset, why was she the only one who's not attached? She hadn't even had an actual relationship with anyone before.
"I'm sure that you will find someone at the party. Besides you need to loosen up and relax!" Faith told her.
"I'm starting to feel that you have been around Fayne too long that she is starting to influence you." Fate whispered.
"Oh come on! It's the summer; you should still enjoy it while you can!" Faith told her with a smile.
Fate sighed.
"Okay, just for today." She told Faith, and Faith smiled at her in return.
Colony L1, VLA
Preventer Headquarters
Night Time
It was raining heavily outside. The night was cold, dark and rainy. Preventer Duo Maxwell was slowly walking towards Preventer Wingate's office. With each step that he took, he couldn't help feeling more and more heavy inside. Duo couldn't help but think about what have happened on the 26th and 27th of July. Heero didn't return for work on the 26th, after he had left the office to go after Fate. Duo was worried about him and wondered if he should call him, but Wufei advised him not to. So he waited instead, but Heero didn't show up for work on the 27th of July. Everyone was worried about him, but they were too busy doing their work and covering Heero's work that they could only visit him at night.
No matter how hard Duo had tried, he couldn't erase the memory of what happened when they broke into Heero's penthouse that night. Heero's room was filled with the smell of alcohol. There were many empty whisky bottles all over the floor of his room and yet they couldn't find him in his room. They searched his house and found Heero inside his bathroom. Heero was submerged in the water and they immediately pulled him out of his bath tub. They managed to revive him. Duo questioned what he was doing there and Heero claimed that he had fallen asleep in the bath tub, but they knew that there was more to that. Was Heero trying to commit suicide by drowning himself in the waters? They had no idea, but he did look tired and he was suffering from a major hangover.
Duo believed that Heero had spent the entire day drinking his whisky. But Duo didn't understand why Heero was behaving like this. He had never seen him like this before. Heero was always the role model for everyone, but tonight he was just someone who's trying to use alcohol to drown his sorrow. Which led him to the next question, what caused him to be like this? The first thing that came to his mind was Fate.
Duo tried to get some answers out of Heero, but Heero's headache was too painful that he went to bed instead. The three of them left Heero's penthouse, but they all knew that something wasn't right.
The next day, Heero returned to work as usual, as if the events of yesterday had never taken place. Duo tried to talk to him about Fate, but was ignored by Heero. And Heero spent the entire day burying himself in his work. He didn't join them for lunch; he didn't speak to anyone of them when they went to find him. He was still the last one to leave the office that night.
Today, when Duo went to ask Heero to join them for lunch, he noticed how tired he looked. It was as if he hadn't slept in days. But as usual, Heero ignored him and continued working instead. All of them were worried about Heero but they have a feeling that Fate's departure might have something to do with it. Trowa had given Quatre a call yesterday and Quatre will be flying in from Colony L4. The guys are meeting up tonight for a drink as well as to have a talk about Heero. They have kept a close eye on him and had realized that he hadn't eaten anything for three consecutive days now.
Duo sighed and with a heavy heart, knocked on the door to Heero's office. There was no answer but Duo went in. Heero was sitting at his desk and Duo wasn't surprised to see that he was still busy typing something on his computer.
"Quatre's coming into VLA and we are going to grab a drink tonight." Duo told him.
Duo tried to smile at Heero and act like nothing has changed, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to smile and act like nothing has happened. Something was wrong with Heero and it's making everyone worried about him.
"You want to come along?" Duo asked.
Heero flipped the page of the file that was placed on his desk and continued typing his report instead. The only sound in the room was the sound of the heavy rain outside and the sound of Heero's super fast typing on the keyboard. Duo counted to ten slowly in his mind and then he sighed instead.
"Heero… this cannot go on."
Heero didn't even look up at him; his eyes were glued to the screen of the monitor infront of him.
"I know that you went after Fate, to try to stop her from leaving VLA." Duo told him softly.
There was a pause, whereby Heero stopped typing for a few seconds. But then he continued typing again as if he hadn't heard what Duo had said.
"And I know that you failed to stop her. Is that why you are behaving like this?" Duo asked.
No answer came from Heero. Duo clenched his hands into a fist instead. He wanted to walk over to Heero and punch him so hard in the face that he will snap out of it and go back to being the Heero that he used to be.
"Why won't you tell us anything?" Duo asked softly, as he looked down at the floor infront of him instead.
He is one of Heero's best friends, yet he feels so helpless and sad to know that each time he wants to find out more about him or help him out, Heero will only push him away. He's not the only one who Heero does this to. Heero pushes everyone away as if he didn't want or appreciate their help. It was as if he was telling everyone that he was better off alone and on his own.
"We are your best friends, we have known you for six years now and yet each day doesn't go by without you pushing us away and hiding behind this huge and thick wall that you have built around yourself." Duo told him.
Duo looked up and was angered by the fact that Heero was still busy typing on his keyboard and ignoring him.
"Damn you, Heero! Serves you right that Fate left you! She loves you so much and all you ever did was continue to hurt her. And yet she still stood by you for four years. You never appreciated what she did for you and you only continue to push her away. Four years, Heero! No one in the right mind would wait four freaking years for someone, not unless they really love and care about that person." Duo shouted.
"You are a fool Heero, because you never appreciated the people around you. That is why Relena cheated on you and that is why Fate left you! One day you will lose everything and by then it will be too late because you will have nothing left!" Duo shouted and then he left Heero's office, slamming the door behind him.
Heero looked at the closed office door to his room and then looked down at the files that were placed on his desk. He then opened the second drawer of his desk and took out the silver pocket watch that Fate gave to him. Heero opened the case of the pocket watch and stared at the watch as it continued ticking. He continued to care at it for a very long time as he thought of Fate.
A few hours later,
VLA, Blue Marine Pub
Quatre watched as Duo continued to drink his third glass of Vodka. Aren't they here because of Heero? Why is Duo the one who seems to be the one who's drowning himself in his sorrows instead? Trowa and Wufei had already filled him in about what was happening to Heero. Quatre also believed that Fate could be the reason as to why Heero was behaving like this. One thing that they didn't understand was why Fate left VLA in the first place.
"I will contact her tomorrow when it's morning in Japan." Quatre told them.
Wufei nodded and then eyed Duo, who was already on his 4th glass.
"What happened to Duo?" Quatre asked Wufei.
"He had a fight with Heero." Wufei answered.
Quatre looked surprised to hear that, but he smiled sadly instead.
"I find it weird that every time when we seem to be together, Heero's the only topic that we talk about." Quatre told them softly.
"Cause he's the one who's making everyone else worry about him." Duo muttered.
"True." Quatre replied.
"I think that it's good that Fate left VLA." Trowa told them.
They looked at Trowa in surprise instead.
"Fate has been supporting and been by his side for these four years, with her disappearance, Heero will discover what life is like without her. And judging from his reaction, I would say that it's only a matter of time before he starts to realize something." Trowa told them as he drank his drink calmly.
"Realize what?" Wufei asked.
"That he does like Fate?" Quatre asked.
Trowa nodded.
"Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?" Wufei asked.
Trowa and Quatre nodded again, while Duo laughed instead.
"There's no way that it would work. Heero's really bad at relationships and it took him long enough before he became Relena's boyfriend. What makes you think he will realize that he likes Fate just because she's gone?" Duo asked.
"We could help a little." Quatre suggested.
"How? By setting them up?" Duo asked.
No one said anything as they thought of ways to bring the two people together.
4 days later, 2nd August
Colony L1, VLA,
Heero's Penthouse
Early Morning
A week has passed since Fate has officially left VLA. This week was one of the toughest and longest week for him. Each day felt like 48 hours instead of 24 hours. Heero had believed that Fate's departure wouldn't affect him, but it did, in more ways than he wanted it to. He couldn't eat, everything felt so tasteless and he couldn't help missing the food that Fate often cooks for him. He couldn't sleep at all, every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was her. It made him feel lonely, empty and cold inside to know that she's no longer here with him.
Each day does not pass by without him missing or thinking about her. His heart felt heavier with each passing day and he could hardly concentrate on his work. Sometimes he missed his shots and it did place his clients in more danger. He got injured more often than usual and it made him wonder why his concentration was so off this week. It could be because he hadn't slept at all for seven days and he was feeling tired. Yet no matter how hard he tried, he was still unable to sleep at night. He was scolded by his boss, which didn't happen often. His friends kept on shooting concerned looks at him; his family keeps on calling him to check on him.
Some days passed by in a blur without him remembering any single thing that he had done for that day. Heero had visited Moonstone Mansion, but Fate hadn't left any message or letter for him. He tried calling her but her numbers were no longer in use. If Heero didn't know any better, he will say that Fate's trying to avoid him as well. Also, this week whisky became his new best friend. It couldn't grow legs and walk away, it couldn't leave him and it was always there when he needed it. To top it off, it didn't have a mouth and so it couldn't speak. Damn it, there is something seriously wrong with him, but he just couldn't figure out what it is.
Heero stared at his reflection in the mirror as he slowly dressed for work. His right arm was bandaged as he was injured in mission a few days ago. Heero tied his tie and moved over to his desk. He put on his watch, placed his wallet and Preventer Badge in his pants' pocket. His eyes fell on the silver pocket watch that Fate had given to him. Heero often stares at it during this week. He picked it up and placed it in his other pants' pocket. He then picked up his guns and walked out of his room.
Meanwhile,
Japan, Sakura City
Sakura Mansion
Morning
Fate has already returned from Tokyo to Sakura City two days ago. It was good to be home again. Things were exactly the way they were when she had left Sakura Mansion in April. Sakura Mansion is a traditional Japanese mansion. It stood out from the rest of the mansions in that area because it was the only traditional Japanese mansion; other mansions have already been modernized. But Fate didn't mind living in a traditional Japanese mansion. It was comfy, clean and it reminded her of her family's origin.
Fate lives in the mansion with only two other servants. One of them is Light, an old man who is also Fate's butler. The other is Elaine, an old woman who is also Light's wife. They have been looking after Fate for many years that Fate didn't treat them as servants. To her, they are a part of her family.
Fate was reading the romance novels that she had borrowed from her family mansion in Tokyo. Meteor was rolling all over the floor as if the silence was making it bored. There was a knock on her door.
"Yes?" she asked.
The door slides open and her butler, Light came in holding a pile of letters.
"These are your letters." Light told her.
Fate thanked him and took them for him. Light left her room after bowing to her. Fate closed the book that she was reading after inserting a book mark and walked over to her desk. She sat down and started looking through the letters. Most of them were fan mails and letters from her friends. She was surprised to receive a letter from Rachel. She quickly opened it and took in a deep breath before reading it. Fate stopped reading it when she reached the third paragraph. Fate suddenly felt like tearing the letter that was infront of her into pieces. But she closed it and placed it back into its envelope. She wasn't going to read it; she didn't want to know how Heero has been and if he's well or not. Anything that concerned Heero was no longer something that concerned her. Fate read through her other letters but her eyes kept on falling back on Rachel's letter.
Fate shook her head and tried to talk herself out of it.
"No, too much curiosity will kill you!" She told herself out loud.
"Read it, read it!" Meteor exclaimed jumping up and down next her.
The temptation was too great, but Fate managed to stop herself from reading it. She read through her other letters and wrote her replies. But she found a typewritten letter instead; even the words on the envelope were typewritten. It didn't say who it was from, but it seems to be from somewhere in the Colonies. Fate opened the envelope, took out the letter and read it.
The letter went like this:
Dear Fate
I am not sure if this letter will ever reach you, for you might not be staying at your own residence in Sakura City. That night when you left VLA…
Fate wasn't sure who wrote the letter but she looked at the end of the letter and was shocked to see Heero's signature on it. Her heart started beating a lot faster, but she closed the letter immediately. Why did Heero send her a letter? He had never done something like this before. And didn't Heero prefer sending e-mails instead of sending letters through postage? Could it be a love letter?
Fate wanted to slap herself; it cannot possibly be a love letter. Again she was curious to find out what the rest of the contents of the letter were. But since she had already decided not to care about him reading the letter would be going against what she has been trying to do for the past week. She placed the letter back in its envelope. Picking up Rachel and Heero's letter, she placed them in her desk's drawers instead. Feeling happy that she was able to stop herself from reading them, she left her room to go out for a morning walk.
The next day, 3rd August
Colony L1, VLA, Wingate Mansion
Afternoon
Rachel Wingate was standing near the glass windows of the living room. As it was still the summer season, she wasn't surprised that it was raining so heavily. She could make out a figure of a man walking through the heavy rain. He wasn't carrying an umbrella and it seemed that the rain wasn't affecting him at all, but Rachel knew better. He could have chosen to walk the sheltered path that joins the car park area to the mansion, but instead, he's walking in the rain.
"Walter." Rachel called out.
The butler came over almost immediately.
"Yes madam?" Walter asked.
"Prepare some hot tea." Rachel told him.
The butler bowed and left the living room. Rachel sighed, knowing very well why Heero was here to see her. But she was surprised that it had taken him this long to be here. Rachel went to where the main doors were. She wasn't surprised to see that Heero was soaked to the skin.
"Take a hot bath and get changed." Rachel told him.
Heero looked at her and Rachel was shocked. Heero looked like he was half dead. He looked tired, but it was his eyes that shocked her. His eyes, there was nothing there except emptiness, loneliness and sadness. His eyes look cold and soulless; they seem to have lost their usual spirit. Rachel watched as Heero slowly walked up the stairs, causing the floor that he was walking on to be wet. Heero doesn't stay overnight at the mansion often, but he do keep some of his clothing here. Rachel had never seen Heero that depressed before. He looked like someone who had just found out that his lover was dead. Rachel clenched her hand into a fist instead. She might be Heero's mother, but she couldn't help feeling so helpless. There's nothing that she could do to help him.
Rachel had already heard about Heero's current situation from his friend Quatre. Things do not seem to be well and everyone's worried about his condition. Heero hasn't eaten anything or slept at all for eight days now. A normal human would have already passed out by the third day; it was amazing that Heero could still last until now. But Rachel knows that it's bad for his health and he cannot possibly last that long without any food or sleep.
Rachel knows that Heero's behavior has something to do with Fate's departure, but he didn't want to talk about it. She had tried calling him, to get him to talk about Fate so that at least he would feel a bit better. But he hung up on her and never picked up her call again after that. Rachel knew that the only way to get Heero out of this situation is to get Fate to come back to VLA. But the chance of her returning to VLA wasn't high. Fate deserves a chance to find her own happiness, and if Heero cannot give her that then maybe… it's best that she doesn't return to VLA. But what Rachel didn't understand is why Heero was acting like this. It's not like he likes Fate…
But right now she needed to see that Heero's alright. After instructing the servants to clean the places that Heero had walked past, she asked the kitchen to prepare some food for him. Rachel was afraid that if Heero continues to be like this, one day he might just collapse and die. She went up the stairs with two maids carrying the food trays behind her. She knocked on the door to Heero's room before entering it. Heero was sitting down on the side of his bed. He was dressed in a short sleeved, buttoned black shirt and matched it with a pair of white pants. He didn't even look up at her when she entered the room.
Rachel asked the maids to place the food trays down on the desk and then asked them to leave. Rachel slowly approached her son and noticed that his hair was still wet after the hot bath. Rachel picked up his towel and held it to him. Heero didn't move at all, so Rachel sighed and dried his hair for him. Heero suddenly reached out and held onto her hands tightly. Rachel let him go and wasn't surprised to see that his hair fell back to its usual place on its own. Sighing, she placed the wet towel on a chair that was near the bed and then sat down next to him on the side of the bed.
"How are you feeling?" Rachel asked him softly.
Heero didn't answer, but Rachel noticed the wound on his right arm. It was a gunshot wound; Heero must have taken the bandages off when he was taking his bath.
"Does the wound on your arm still hurt?" Rachel asked him.
Heero continued to stare at the carpeted floor but he shifted his right arm out of her sight. Rachel sighed and stared at his room instead. There weren't a lot of his personal belongings; hence it made the room look more like a guest room instead.
"Of course it hurts. But it doesn't hurt as much as the pain that you are feeling in your heart." Rachel muttered.
Heero didn't answer. Rachel sighed, sometimes it was so hard to talk and understand him. Heero seems to think that silence is a way of communication, but Rachel can never understand what he's trying to say or what he's actually feeling.
"I asked you eight days ago about what you plan to do, now that Fate's gone. Have you thought about it?" Rachel asked.
Heero shook his head.
"Do you plan to move on or to go after her?" Rachel asked.
Heero's eyes fell on his desk and he saw the two trays that were filled with food.
"You cannot go on like this, Heero. You have to eat something and you need to take some sleeping pills." Rachel told him, noticing his gaze.
Heero closed his eyes and covered his eyes with his left hand instead.
"Can you tell me why you won't eat anything?" Rachel asked.
She was met with a long silence, but she waited patiently for him to give her his answer.
"It doesn't taste like food anymore." Heero told her.
"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.
"Everything is like plain water, everything's tasteless to me." Heero told her.
Rachel was shocked to hear that. Oh my, it's worst than I thought. She thought to herself.
"What about sleep? Why aren't you sleeping?" Rachel asked.
"Because I can't." Heero told her softly.
"What do you mean that you can't sleep?" Rachel asked.
"Every time when I close my eyes, I will see her. I keep on dreaming and having random flashbacks about her." Heero told her.
"How long has this been?" Rachel asked.
"It has been like this ever since after the Sakura Festivals. It got a lot worst lately." Heero told her.
"Who is this person?" Rachel asked softly.
"Fate." Heero answered.
Rachel was silent for a while, but that doesn't explain why he isn't sleeping.
"I tried to stay awake, so that I wouldn't see her. But it doesn't work anymore. I keep thinking about her, and I still keep seeing her. It's as if she's following me everywhere…" Heero told her.
Rachel noticed how he seems to be very troubled.
"And this feeling in my chest just wouldn't go away. Instead it gets heavier and heavier with each passing day." He told her.
Rachel was glad to hear that he was talking about himself, but Rachel is still worried about him.
"It feels so empty, so cold and so lonely inside. I… feel so lost, I don't know what to do." Heero told her softly.
Rachel watched as Heero seems to be trembling slightly.
"What is wrong with me?" Heero asked her as he finally turned to look at her.
Rachel merely looked at him sadly, and then she gave his hand a tight squeeze. No one spoke for a very long moment.
"Why don't you go to Japan and talk to Fate about it?" Rachel asked, thinking that since Fate is the cause of the problem, maybe she could be the solution to it as well.
"I tried calling her, but she wouldn't pick up her phone. I doubt that she would see me." Heero told her.
Rachel thought about it and then an idea came into her mind.
"Why don't you write to her instead? Write down all the things that you want to tell her and send it to her?" Rachel asked.
Heero didn't respond, but he was reminded of that fact that he had already sent a letter to Fate, but he had no idea if she had even received it.
"Since you don't seem to want to talk about it with anyone, why don't you write it out instead? At least it will make you feel a little better." Rachel told him and then she stood up and walked towards the door.
Heero continued to stare straight ahead as if he was in a daze. Rachel turned back to look at him when she reached the door.
"I know that I cannot force you to do something that you don't like, but my dear child, the heart can only take that much before it collapses." She told him softly.
Seeing that there was no response from Heero, Rachel sighed.
"If you feel like you are ready to talk, you know where to find me." She told him before leaving his room. Heero sat there and continued to stare into space for a very long time.
To be continued…
Author's note: The first two scenes were supposed to be at the end of chapter 6, but it would have made chapter 6 too long, hence I pushed it into chapter 7. Hope you like these two scenes as well.
Well we found out how Fate's departure from VLA has badly affected Heero. And Heero still cannot figure out what is wrong with him and why he's feeling this way. Everyone's worried about him and they cannot help feeling helpless as they have no idea how they can help Heero. Fate is busy trying to avoid having any contact with Heero and trying to not think about him. Will Heero ever figure out what he's feeling for Fate?
This is my fifth version for this chapter. Honestly I'm not really that happy with this chapter. It was one of the hardest chapter to write. I have to write about what Heero's actually feeling without going too far out of character. I also have to show how the people around him are feeling about his situation as well as how concerned and worried they are about him. Also, this chapter is shorter than usual.
Anyway, I hope that you have enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for supporting my story Family. Please read and review, but NO FLAMERS! Stay tuned for the next chapter!
