A/N: Hi readers! I won't update as often from now on, it'll probably be a chapter every three or four days, as it's the holidays! But I'll keep up the work, don't worry! Please enjoy and review!

Chapter 8

Kestrel called Briggs first, wanting to tell him about their boss' state. As he dialed his best friend's number and heard the ringings, he exhaled slowly, bracing himself. He had to be strong. They would find a solution. Elena would help Sam.

_ Yes?

_ It's me, мой друг (my friend).

_ How's Sam, mate?

_ Very tired and sleepy, and his knee hurts him.

_ You sound worried, mate, Briggs' concerned voice rose. What's the matter?

_ Briggs, Sam...

He paused, taking a deep breath. At the other end of the line, Briggs asked him in alarm:

_ Has he got something worse?

_ He's got osteoarthritis everywhere in his limbs, Kestrel confessed, sitting on his sofa and rubbing his face. The doc told me he wouldn't be able to do physical efforts anymore or he'll end up in a wheelchair in ten years. It's already too late for his right knee. So no more training with us or anyone.

_ My God...

Kestrel stayed silent, giving his friend the time to digest the dark news. At last Briggs asked with a trembling voice:

_ Does Sam know?

_ Not yet. Dr Collins will tell him tomorrow at 10 am. I told him we both would be there.

_ Absolutely, his teammate said with a firm voice. I'll be there too. But is there nothing we can do?

_ Us? No.

_ What do you mean, mate?

Kestrel hesitated, but he knew that if Elena got involved with Sam's recovery the team would meet her very soon, so he said calmly:

_ Elena is a doctor, specialized in physiotherapy. Maybe she'll be able to do something, but she has to see Sam and his file first.

_ Wow! Briggs whistled. That's quite unexpected... and very fortunate. But how...?

_ I still haven't thought about that, мой друг.

_ I know. Call Dr Collins and tell him. Ask for Sam's file.

_ You sure about that?

_ Positive, Briggs said seriously. Our doc is quite temperamental and can be gruff, but he's very intent on protecting all Fourth Echelon members. Maybe you don't know it since you're the one who's more often lying on the infirmary's bunk, mate, but when you're the one standing beside the bunk next to him like me, then you see that he's just interested in saving your skin, no matter the means.

_ Okay, he said, a little surprised. I'll call him, then, and talk with Elena.

_ Good. Maybe it'll turn good.

_ I hope so. Well, I have to call Grim now. See you tomorrow, then?

_ Yes. Good luck, mate.

_ Good evening, мой друг.

_ And Kestrel? Thanks for Rachel.

_ My pleasure.

He hung up, smiling slightly, then dialed Sarah's number. He knew that Grim probably wouldn't answer him if he called her. And soon he heard Sam's daughter:

_ Sarah Woodridge.

_ Hi, Sarah! Its' Kestrel.

_ Hi, Kestrel! So how's Dad? Everything's okay?

_ It's okay for now, Sarah, he said calmly, masking his disarray. The surgery went well, he's resting.

_ Can I call him?

_ He was sleeping when I left, but you can try. He has his smartphone with him.

_ Okay. Do you want me to tell Anna?

_ I assume she doesn't want to talk to me?

_ Not yet, Kestrel. Your conversation last night has shaken her pretty hard, and she still doesn't know what to do. And I don't know what to tell her myself. It's so complicated!

_ Have you thought about calling somebody to help? he asked her seriously. A psychologist. Somebody who could listen to her and give her advice without pressure.

_ No, I haven't thought about it, she said cautiously. But it could be a good idea. Do you know of any?

_ I still have the contact details of the one I saw after Alpha's death, a very nice woman. Would you like to have them?

_ Yes, please. I'll tell her about it right away.

_ Okay, I'll send them to you.

_ Thank you for everything, Kestrel. Keep me posted about Dad, will you?

_ I will. And you about Grim.

_ Sure. Bye.

_ Bye, Sarah.

He hung up, exhaling deeply. He felt bad about having hidden the reality of Sam's state to her, but if Elena could help his boss then maybe it wouldn't be so terrible news. He sent her the details about the psychologist, then dialed the doc's number, and had to wait for the last ringing to hear his voice:

_ Dr Collins.

_ Hi, doc! It's Kestrel.

_ Yes, agent Kestrel. What can I do for you?

_ How's Sam, doc?

_ Still sleeping soundly. He had a light sedative, his knee was hurting him very painfully. I had a look at it, and maybe we'll have to do a puncture tomorrow.

_ I see, he said, worried. Doc, maybe I know of a way to help him with his osteoarthritis in the rest of his body. Could you give me his file, please?

Silence fell on the line, and Kestrel waited patiently, crossing his fingers. The doc knew that he had strange but helpful contacts in Russia and elsewhere, and that at some times he had come up with solutions for seeemingly inextricably complicated problems. And after twenty very long seconds the doc said:

_ Okay, agent Kestrel. I trust you to keep it secure.

_ You can count on me, doc, he stated calmly, immensely relieved. I'm only interested in helping Sam.

_ That I know, agent Kestrel. But who will see it?

_ Can I tell you about it later tonight? But know that it'll be a doctor, specialized in physiotherapy.

_ Okay, the doc said, obviously puzzled but curious. And if this doctor has a solution for Sam, I'll only be relieved, agent Kestrel. No questions asked.

_ Thanks a lot, doc. You have my mail address?

_ Yes. You should receive it in a few minutes.

_ Thanks.

The line went dead, and he switched on his computer on the desk in the corner of his living room. And as promised, ten minutes later he received a mail with Sam's file. It was gibberish to him, but he hoped that Elena would be able to come up with a solution.

He rose, checking his clock. It was 5.10 pm, and he had flowers to buy. So he exited his building and drove to the florist's shop five hundred meters away from his place, and bought a large bunch of red roses, but also a single white one. Then he drove to the Mount Olivet cemetery and walked towards Alpha's grave, happiness and sadness mixing confusingly in his mind. He stopped in front of the black tombstone and said softly:

_ Hello, Alpha!

He felt bad at not calling her "my love", but he had moved on and was in love again with another woman. And even if he would still love Alpha, she wasn't the only one in his heart anymore. He crouched and put the white rose on the tomb, and said:

_ It's very strange, coming to see you so soon after my last visit, but I have something very important to tell you. I've found love again. Her name's Elena, and she gave me a second birth. She's got a son, his name's Alexei. So you see, I'm starting a family of my own, just what you told me to do five years ago.

He straightened, smiling but feeling grief and happiness colliding painfully in his chest. He knew she would have been happy for him, but he himself was having trouble at not thinking he was betraying her. But he felt so good at the same time, and she would have been happy at seeing him so good, after all his suffering. He took a deep breath and said:

_ I'll love you for all my life, Alpha. But you're dead, and me alive. Elena is alive, and I love her. So I'll let her in my life, and I'll take care of her and Aliosha. Please watch over me from above like you used to do, and when we meet again, I'll have a photo ready to show you. I'll still visit from time to time, though. You'll never be abandoned. After all, you're still my love.

He tried to smile, but sorrow wasn't far. So he breathed deeply and walked away, heading towards his car. He drove back to his apartment, carrying the roses in his arms, and was delighted to hear Aliosha's voice on the third landing. He ran up the stairs, three at a time, and arrived on the landing just as Elena was about to close the door of her apartment.

_ Elena! he called her softly.

_ Mishka! she opened the door wider, and beamed at him.

He simply looked at her, etching her smiling and beautiful face in his mind, and knew that he was doing the right thing. And that Alpha would have approved, and beaten him up if he had backed away. That thought made him smile, and he said, handing out the roses:

_ These are for you.

_ They're beautiful, Mishka! she said happily, taking the flowers. Thank you so much!

_ I'll see you in a few minutes, then?

_ I'll have a shower and give Aliosha his bath, then we'll come.

_ Okay. It'll give me time to set the table and warm the borscht.

She took a step forward and kissed him. He kissed her back, and they enjoyed a good three seconds of bliss before Aliosha ran up to them and said loudly:

_ Mama!

Chuckling, they pulled apart and he watched the scowling face of the small boy, tugging at his mother's pullover, who said:

_ Mama, I'm hungry!

_ You'll have a biscuit, sweetheart, she said with a smile. But don't eat too much, because Mishka has cooked a borscht for us.

_ I like borscht, Aliosha said timidly, hiding from Kestrel's stare behind his mother.

_ That's good, Aliosha, the ops said, kneeling to be at the boy's height. Because my borscht is the best in the whole town. Will you taste it?

_ Yes.

_ Great. I'll see you later, then.

He rose and swiftly kissed Elena a last time, then went to his apartment, hearing the door closing behind him. He lit the fire under the cooking pot and set the table in the kitchen, thinking that he would have to buy special cutlery for Aliosha. Then he prepared some appetizers, and finally went to his bathroom to have a quick shower. He changed into a comfortable long-sleeved shirt and dark jeans, and the doorbell rang.

He ran to the door and opened it, and the view took his breath away. Standing in front of him, Elena was wearing a plain black dress with the faintest trace of make-up, and was a knockout. Her black hair was tied up in a ponytail, and she had a very simple silver chain with a small pendant, but he found her wonderful. And behind her, hiding as usual, Aliosha was looking good too in jeans and a little shirt, very much like his own.

He was stunned, and she smiled, asking him gently:

_ Mishka? Can we go inside?

_ Yes, he shook himself out of his reverie. Yes, of course!

He stepped aside, and they went in. He closed the door behind them and knelt in front of Aliosha, still looking intimidated.

_ Aliosha, I have a question for you. Do you like animals?

The boy shuffled on his feet, half-hiding behind his mother, but Kestrel could see he was intrigued, because he finally said:

_ Yes. Why?

_ Have a look on the low table, he smiled at him. I have animals for you.

The small boy leaned sideways and saw the set of figurines, and looked delighted. He raised his head, looking at his mother, and she said kindly:

_ Go have a look!

The boy happily ran and grabbed a lion and a zebra, and said:

_ Mama! Look!

_ They're beautiful, sweetheart, she said loudly with a beam. You can play with them, but stay in the living room.

_ Yes, Mama!

As Aliosha started to play, she turned towards Kestrel and said, taking his hands:

_ Thank you, Mishka. He hasn't got much toys with him, since we left Russia in haste. That's so nice of you!

_ My pleasure, he said earnestly, shooting a softened glance at the boy who was making his lion and zebra racing on the low table. I only hoped he would like them.

The shouts of delight and the concentration of Elena's son were sufficient proofs, and they watched him happily playing with the figurines, then Kestrel told her:

_ Please sit down. I'll bring the appetizers.

_ Mishka, there was no need...

He silenced her by kissing her softly, and she smiled. He liked a lot her perfume, and couldn't wait to be alone with her again. So she sat on the sofa, next to a delighted Aliosha, and he went to the kitchen. He brought back the appetizers and some soda and apple juice with glasses on a tray, and set the lot next to a giraffe and a tiger. He told Elena:

_ Don't be surprised, I never drink alcohol. So it'll be cola or apple juice.

_ A Coke for me, she smiled. Aliosha, you want apple juice?

_ Yes, please!

_ Let's start speaking English, Aliosha, will you? Kestrel asked him. Like that, you'll soon be able to speak with your friends at school.

The boy nodded, and Kestrel asked him slowly in English:

_ Do you want apple juice?

_ Yes.

_ Please, his mother told him gently.

_ Please, he repeated.

_ Good, Kestrel nodded. You know English a little, it seems?

The boy nodded timidly, sipping his glass, and Elena said calmly in Russian:

_ I tried and talked to him in English since he were very small. But I'm not too at ease with it.

_ Then I'll make you practice, Kestrel said with a wink.

She blushed a little, then asked as he handed her the plate with blini:

_ So you don't drink alcohol? Never? Not even wine or beer?

_ No alcohol at all, he said while sitting in an armchair next to her and watching Aliosha shyly taking a blini after asking his mother. I don't want to.

_ Why?

_ I've been addicted to alcohol twice, he confessed calmly. To vodka. And I don't want to dive back again. It was five and seven years ago, and since then I haven't touched alcohol.

He locked eyes with her, but she didn't seem upset. On the contrary, she smiled and said calmly:

_ It's good you held on for such a long time. But why had you started drinking in the first place?

He hung his head, wondering how he could tell her. It involved his painful past with Voron, and Fourth Echelon, so he didn't know where to start and what to say. Finally he raised his head and met her compassionate eyes, and said:

_ It was after I'd been shot and left for dead in Russia. I had been betrayed, and I was lonely and desperate. So to drown the sorrows I drank vodka. But then I met Alpha, my late girlfriend. She saved me and made me stop drinking.

He saw at her bewildered and devastated expression that she hadn't expected something like that and sat forward, grabbing her hand and saying calmly:

_ But it was seven years ago. It's in the past. Now I'm American, I have moved on.

He smiled at her, and she smiled bravely, clearly forcing down the tears, and said, her voice quivering a little:

_ Then you have a strong force of will, Mishka. After that, many men would have sunk in alcohol or committed suicide.

_ I don't doubt it, he said with a small voice.

She looked intently at him, and guessed, her hand still in his:

_ That's why you dove back two years later.

_ Yes, he admitted shamefully, checking that Aliosha was still busy with his figurines. Five years ago, I cracked. Had a nervous breakdown, a deep one. I almost...

He stopped, but she seemed to understand. She leaned forward and kissed him, and said:

_ But now you're here, with Aliosha and me. You're not alone, and you're alive.

_ Yes, he said seriously. I'm not alone, and I never want to be anymore. I would like you to stay with me from now on, and watch Aliosha playing in the living room.

She beamed at him, and they kissed again, only to be interrupted by Aliosha who asked:

_ Mama? When do we eat the borscht?