Denial
Chapter Eight
6 Weeks Later
Chloe was busy at work. She had been working non-stop for the last 6 weeks and thrown herself completely into work to avoid dealing with the fact that Elly and her had come so close to finally been together before she did the right thing and turned her down so Elly and Mark would have a future together as a family since Elly was pregnant.
Chloe had barely seen Elly since that day. She'd seen her a couple times in the street but only waved to her in that 'I'm not ready to talk to you way.' To be fair Elly had reacted similarly like she didn't want to talk to Chloe. Chloe was getting used to the cold shoulder from Mark but it still hurt her that it felt like Elly was doing the same even though in a way she too was giving Elly space.
Chloe was busy writing up some contracts for Terese when Bea knocked on the office door and was startled when Bea approached her desk, "Chloe, I need your help with Elly."
"Jesus Bea, where did you come from? You want help from me with Elly?" Chloe asked.
"I need you to come see her now!" Bea insisted raising her voice.
"Bea I'm really busy right now, can it wait until the end of the day?" Chloe asked, unsure why Elly would want to see her after this length of time.
Bea walked around the desk, grabbed Chloe's arm to pull her up from her chair, "This is urgent Chloe, I need you to come over my place now!"
Chloe shook her head, "Whatever Elly needs you can go to Mark for because I can't get involved in their family."
"Chloe, Elly has practically been a recluse living in our home for the past 6 weeks but the past 3 days she hasn't left her bedroom except to go to the bathroom. She hasn't eaten or had anything to drink except water for 3 days," Bea told Chloe desperately, "I have no idea what the hell happened between you and my sister but 3 days ago I forced Elly to go to the hospital for an ultrasound and then she went and saw Mark after the appointment and then something triggered her to have a complete meltdown. You are the only person who can help me with her and I need you to come with me now!"
Terese walked into the office and saw that Bea had her hand grabbing onto Chloe's arm, "Everything okay in here?"
"Its fine, it can wait until after work," Chloe tried insisting, as much as she was worried sick by what Bea had said she hoped that Bea would instead go to Mark to help Elly urgently.
"No, it's not," Bea countered, "Terese I need to borrow Chloe for an hour maybe two please this is really urgent."
"If Chloe says it can wait until after work then can it wait until after work? She's working on some really important contracts that I need drawn up now," Terese started to reason.
"Please it won't take that long," Bea begged before changing tact, "Terese let me borrow Chloe for an hour and I will service your car and Piper's car for no charge next time they are due. I won't even charge for parts. I'll cover the cost."
Terese was surprised by how desperate Bea was, "Don't be ridiculous you can't service Piper's car for free, that thing costs Piper a bomb and she needs to pay for it to learn a valuable life lesson...but I mean my car is overdue so...I guess an hour or two of Chloe's time won't be that much of a problem."
"Great, I'll call you tomorrow to book it in," Bea yelled out to Terese as she firmly grabbed Chloe's arm and yanked her out of the office.
Chloe pulled her arm away from Bea when Bea started racing them out of the complex, "Bea would you slow down! I get Elly not eating for 3 days is urgent but can't Karl do something? And if you haven't noticed I'm in heels and can't run so unless you want me to break an ankle can we just walk to your place at a normal pace. It'll only take us fifteen minutes to get there."
"Fine," Bea snapped before slowing down and walking side by side with Chloe back to her place.
Chloe chewed on her lip, "Why didn't you call Mark about this?"
Bea shrugged, "Over the past few weeks Elly has shut down completely when there is any mention of you, she's not like that when she talks to Mark. Not that she talks to him often, maybe two or three times in the last 6 weeks."
Chloe didn't know how to respond so Bea continued, "Look it's not like Elly asked for you. I made the decision to get your help. I'm like 60-70% sure I'm doing the right thing by getting you to see Elly instead of Mark. The truth is I don't know anything about you and Elly or what happened between you."
"Elly didn't tell you what happened between us 6 weeks ago?" Chloe felt deflated.
"Elly hasn't told me anything about the two of you full stop. Okay well the only thing she has ever told us about you two was when we found her after the wedding and she told us that she'd slept with you, it wasn't like she had feelings for you and that you didn't take advantage of her," Bea explained before admitting, "Which was a question I asked her at the time. Sorry, that was wrong of me to think you could possibly do that. Elly made it clear it was her choice."
"Its fine, I knew people would ask that question," Chloe accepted.
"So what did happen between the two of you, not just whatever it was 6 weeks ago, I mean all of it. Like I said I'm still not positive going to you is the right thing to do by Elly but I'd like to be convinced," Bea decided.
Chloe was floored that Bea wanted to hear her point of view from the last few months, "Um...okay. Like most stories it started out with me been an idiot. Do you remember the day Elly lost her job? I hung out with her that night and we'd had some drinks and she was complimenting me and out of nowhere I just felt the urge to kiss her so I did. Then I ran off and declared the next morning that I'd made a mistake, we didn't want to tell Mark about it and Elly put it behind her as a once-off stupid Chloe move."
Bea thought back, "Wait, didn't Elly propose to Mark the day after she lost her job?"
Chloe nodded, "Yeah. But it's not like it was a reaction to the kiss. She loves him."
Bea signaled for Chloe to continue.
"I don't know I guess the next few weeks were a blur, I was starting to have feelings for her and then at their engagement party I got trashed and told Elly I loved her. Told her the next day it was just platonic love," Chloe revealed, "And then I don't know, next thing I knew I was in love with her and was convinced she should at least know how I felt so I wrote her a Christmas card declaring it."
Chloe paused before revealing, "Your mum found the card and told me off about it. I'd mentioned my Huntington's in it and she just told me honestly I had no future and couldn't have kids so keep my feelings to myself and leave Elly alone."
"Why am I not surprised to hear my mum would do something like that?" Bea muttered.
Chloe sighed, "Elly took me aside as she was working on her vows to Mark and she insisted she had to practice them on me…every word she was saying…I just wished she meant them to me. But again I was an idiot, I didn't throw away the Christmas card, and Elly ended up finding it. I couldn't lie to her anymore. She knew the truth, I knew I would never have a shot with her and we didn't want Mark to know so I told her I would stay clear of her. Aaron and David took me out one night for drinks, Elly and Mark tagged along, and I couldn't deal with seeing them happy together so I hooked up with this guy and went home with him."
Chloe continued, "The next morning…there were dozens of missed calls and texts from Elly…not a single message from my brothers until later in the morning…Elly was so worried I wasn't answering her and worried something had happened to me and I wouldn't come home. I really tried to put a clear line of space between us so I could get over her…but...if I'm honest Elly didn't want me to stay away from her. There was always some reason for her to be around me."
Bea continued listening, surprised how much had already happened between the pair.
Chloe elaborated, "Then the siege happened and Elly insisted that the guy kept her hostage to keep the rest of us safe. I countered that I'm dying anyway so he should take me and Elly was upset at that. Anyway after we got rescued Elly and I kept spending time together...Elly drew away from Mark for a little while and kept turning to me because we'd both been through the siege. It wasn't as bad as the way Mark turned away from Elly when Sonya died."
"You're not even close to been done are you?" Bea realized, trying to take everything in that Chloe had tried to distance herself from Elly but Elly wouldn't allow it even after she knew how Chloe felt about her.
Chloe shook her head, "Aaron noticed our closeness and I ended up confessing to him. So he did the only thing he could think of and wouldn't let Elly and I be alone together like he didn't accept that I had accepted Elly doesn't have feelings for me. Then he got in contact with Mel and thought bringing in my ex would make me move on. I resisted at first, nothing to do with Elly but more to do with my mistrust of Mel. Eventually she had me convinced she'd changed and after Elly's bachelorette party I ended up back at my place making out with her on the couch."
"Okay," Bea said not sure how that was relevant to Elly.
"Elly came home and interrupted us...on purpose," Chloe admitted, "I'd been drinking and was busy with Mel but I was aware enough that...Elly came home, heard us and then she stared at us on the couch for a number of seconds then nearly threw herself to the couch to apologize that she didn't mean to interrupt us to break us apart. I took Mel to my room but I could just feel Elly's jealousy at the situation. And I don't mean jealousy that she had feelings for me, I mean more just...jealous that her best friend now had someone and my life wouldn't revolve around her. Is this all too much? I feel like I'm telling you stuff that shouldn't matter. Should I just cut to the chase?"
"Its fine, it's your story Chloe, I want to hear it from you," Bea reassured.
"Okay, thanks," Chloe was grateful, "Elly was not happy to find out I'd slept with Mel and the next morning she chased me down the driveway to chastise me for having a one night stand. I asked Elly why she cared who I slept with and she couldn't answer. Then there was this small moment when I asked Mel to be my date to Valentines' but Elly was distracted on the couch looking at wedding stuff and thought I was talking to her and happily agreed to go with me until she realized I meant Mel. Honest mistake. Then I got together with Mel for real and Elly was just...distrusting of her and didn't want me to be with her. Looking back Elly was right but I was so convinced if I got back together with Mel then I would get over my feelings for Elly."
"But you didn't?" Bea clarified.
"No such luck," Chloe said sadly, "Then Mel found the Christmas card and found out about my kiss with Elly, threatened to tell Mark. I think Mel came to some arrangement with Elly not to tell him but I didn't want to know. Then the whole thing with Mel and the fire happened and again I am so sorry that she did that to you."
Bea shrugged, "You have nothing to apologize for. So what happened next?"
Chloe chewed her lips, "Mark disappeared and cancelled the wedding."
Bea nodded, "And that was the night you and Elly slept together?"
Chloe hesitated before explaining, "We'd been drinking and Elly was putting herself down saying her life wasn't where she expected it to be and I just...told her out of all the people I'd met along my travels...she outshone every one of them. And she kissed me. I asked if she was sure and she kissed me again. And then we...went to my room and...made love...I mean had sex. I don't know it was two very different things to both of us."
"So Elly did initiate your night together?" Bea confirmed, feeling bad that she ever thought Chloe took advantage of her sister and that their act had been two different things to the pair.
Chloe sighed, "I still should've known it didn't mean the same for her. I was so wrapped up in the fact we were together and how much I could prove that I loved her that I didn't see what was right in front of me."
Bea felt terrible for Chloe, knowing that her sister had used her knowing how Chloe felt about her, "So I guess I know the rest with the wedding fall out. This also explains why you kept refusing to attend the wedding let alone be Elly's bridesmaid before you finally changed your mind at the Bachelorette party. Why did you let her marry Mark knowing how you felt and what you'd done?"
"I didn't want to stand in her way if she loved Mark, I told her not to start her marriage with a lie but I didn't think it would play out like the way it did," Chloe confessed.
Bea nodded still in surprise by Chloe's story, "I guess this brings us to 6 weeks ago where Elly stopped talking to you. What happened?"
Chloe hesitated before revealing, "After Elly found out she was pregnant and we all found out...it was the night I moved into Aaron and David's place...Elly came to our place that night...she was drunk..."
Bea was shocked, "Elly got drunk after she found out she was pregnant! Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm sorry," Chloe apologized, "Aaron told Mark thinking he could help her and Elly would've been embarrassed if you'd found out that she'd come over to my place and..."
"And?" Bea pushed Chloe to continue.
Chloe felt awkward, "See the thing is...well...I...I mean...Elly...was drunk and lonely and...tried to get me to take her to bed and...you know."
Bea was beyond shocked, "Elly wanted to have sex with you again?"
"I didn't...I couldn't...that would've been taking advantage of her," Chloe explained, "Before I could stop her she ran into my room and kept yelling at me to...do stuff...'til she passed out. Aaron and David came home, I slept on the couch"
Bea watched Chloe turn bright red at the words "do stuff."
Bea then asked, "So that's why Elly hasn't been herself the last 6 weeks? She came onto you, you turned her down, and she's embarrassed and confused that she tried to get you into bed with her? She doesn't want to admit she might be attracted to you." Then looking at Chloe and knowing, "And there's still more to this story."
Chloe breathed deeply, "The next day Elly came to apologize. She told me Mark had issued her an ultimatum-"
"Right, that I remember, finally something I did already know," Bea was thrilled to add, "Elly ran after you the second Mark told her. Like literally she turned around and decided to go after you within one single second."
Chloe cringed at the thought that it had taken Elly that short amount of time to choose not to cut her from her life when Chloe effectively did cut Elly from her life immediately afterwards, "Elly told me she could never cut me from her life, that she didn't know what her feelings for me were but...she wanted to be with me...we kissed a few times..."
"Aww," Bea replied sweetly.
"I let her go," Chloe admitted, "I told her we couldn't be together and she didn't need to cut me from her life because I was letting her go."
"Why? I feel like I'm listening to a love story and at this point in the story I am rooting for you to get together!" Bea confessed before she realized, "You walked away because of the baby?"
Chloe acknowledged Bea was right, "I tore my family apart when Elly and I cheated on Mark; I wasn't prepared to do that to Elly and Mark's family. So I walked away from the situation. I love Elly but not enough to put myself first before her child. Besides I don't have a long and happy future ahead of me and I can't bring Elly and a child into that. So that's it…the whole story…you know everything now…am I still the right person to talk to Elly?"
Bea linked her arm with Chloe's, "I have one last question for you. What would a future between you and Elly look like?"
Chloe was surprised Bea would even be interested to know, "I don't know…"
Bea raised her eyebrow, "You've been in love with my sister for 6 months, you can't tell me you haven't thought about your future together if she felt the same way."
"Okay, of course I have," Chloe confessed, "A future with Elly for me would look like….we would just support each other through anything life threw at us. Elly would get her dream teaching job back, we'd go out on dates together, we wouldn't be afraid to tell the world we loved each other, we'd enjoy each other's company every evening, tell each other everything, she'd move in with me, Aaron and David would decide to have a baby together and instead of moving to our own place Elly and I would go travelling the world for a year or two, I'd be able to get work at some of the Lassiters hotels around the world so we could stay in a few different cities for several months at a time to really get involved in the local culture, Elly would be able to get tutoring jobs or teaching English as a language whilst we're overseas and we'd eventually move back to Erinsborough, get a place together and just spend every possible minute we had left before my diagnosis…we'd just love each every day."
Chloe glanced at Bea, slightly embarrassed she'd imagined so much for her and Elly despite still been unsure how Elly felt about her, "I mean that was obviously before I found out Elly was pregnant so I guess the big romantic worldwide travelling trip would be off."
"Do you still see a future with Elly being pregnant?" Bea questioned.
Chloe nodded, "If Elly wanted to be with me…yeah I do. I mean I know I don't want to come between Elly and Mark as a family but if things are truly over between them and Elly truly wanted to fight for me the pregnancy doesn't change how I feel about her. Okay I mean honestly I'm terrified of this child falling in love with their Aunt Chloe only for them to have to grieve me at some point in the future…but despite risking that pain yeah I do still see a future with Elly."
Bea smiled at Chloe, "Wow. You know I had no idea how much had happened between the pair of you over the last six months. I honestly thought all you were going to tell me was the night you two slept together and that was the end of your story. One night when Elly was a broken mess, you'd both been drinking, you were heartbroken over Mel, you both turned to each other for comfort, you had sex with her, my incredibly straight sister didn't reciprocate those actions…"
Chloe side-eyed Bea, turning bright red, "Sure…if that's what you want to believe."
Bea paused for a moment, "Okay wow…Elly actually did…those things with you too…how could she possibly deny having an attraction to you after reciprocating certain…actions…Oh God never mind…I really don't want to know any more about my sister's sex life."
"Yeah, I kinda think I should've kept that one to myself, sorry," Chloe apologized before suddenly realizing they were walking up the driveway of the Kennedy's, "Are you really sure I'm the right person to talk to Elly about what's going on with her?"
"100%" Bea declared.
As the pair entered the house, Bea lead Chloe to Elly's room, motioned that she would be in her own room and for Chloe to call if she needed anything.
Chloe nodded and took a deep breath before knocking on Elly's bedroom door, "Elly its Chloe. Can I come in and see you?"
