[WARNING: Chapter Contains explicit descriptions of sexual activity]


SKYHOLD

The peace talks drew nearer. As the weeks went by, new areas opened to the Inquisition, crows were exchanged with various contacts, and Zanrye could scarcely get any time for himself. After Nishia and Lana had gone back, he had suddenly felt very alone. If not for Solas, he wasn't sure what he would have done. The man was withdrawn but supportive. And he kept Zanrye's quota of elves to talk to at a steady 'one' count.

But even with all the fixing up, talking to visitors, contacting trainers, and writing to various factions throughout Thedas, Zanrye still remembered his promise. He had been choosing areas and readying horses. Truth be told, he had made quite a plan for this getaway. He chose Cassandra to look over things in his stead. No matter how great Solas had grown, he was no leader like Cassandra, who was suspicious why Josephine was not asked to handle the task but Zanrye avoided such inquiries. He was self-conscious about the whole world knowing that she was coming with him….

He'd never really been on dates like this before, he realized. There was usually a wealth of gem, foliage, and greenery where he came from—where he could make or take anything to give to her as they danced, played stones, rode…but she was from a different world. A shem world…. Zanrye tried not to think about that. He wasn't backing out. But she did come from a world of… shopping? Balls? Theater?

"Where to first, my lord?" Josephine asked as she stepped into the carriage, removing her hood finally. It was about midday. "You have not given me the list of destinations for us to view."

"The first isn't all that new." Zanrye shrugged, already in the carriage. He did not make eye contact with her, more nervous now that the date was starting. After his talk with Nishia…and how forward he was just a few weeks ago…it overwhelmed him. He'd never been in such a… foreign…situation before.

"What do you mean?" Josephine asked him. Zanrye glanced her way.

"I've been to the Oasis before…once upon a time." He said slowly. Josephine's eyes were wide as she stared, the carriage now. She had not taken any bags. Nor had he.

"All the way there…today?" She paused. "Are we…going to be able to visit them all if we are to travel that far a distance first?"

"I've already left Cassandra instructions for the next five days," Zanrye said to the floor.

"Zanrye—Inquisitor!" Josephine's voice was scolding. "There is far too much to do! I don't think that we can afford to take off that much time with all that's coming up—"

"I know." He turned and met her eyes, saw her falter as he did so. He kept on. "So before we never get another chance, I wanted to survey these. Plus, they've already invited me because they met a Dalish clan in the Oasis. I plan to view them all. And I thought it easier to take you each time…than to go back for you."

Josephine's eyes were analyzing him, he knew. He did not look away and soon she seemed to accept this and settled back primly. Zanrye knew he exhaled loudly, with relief. They didn't say much for a time as they kept on along the road. Zanrye knew he should say something. But this was…oddly…hard for him. And why?

Because she's beautiful. And smart. And can see through any small talk you'll try to use. He reasoned that those were probably right.


10 YEARS EARLIER

Zanrye's mind was on the move that was bound to happen. It always came after there'd been too many shem sightings or shem harassments on his clan. Keeper had already asked about starting the shops this week.

He tried to root himself back in the moment. He never could keep his mind on sex with her.

Kirina was bent over on all fours, ass high in the air with her chest nearly flat on the blankets that were mussed. She moaned softly from time to time but mostly panted. The bed creaked every now and then as Zanrye thrusted into her with the speed of a fennec. His hands kept grip on her ass to steady them. Their sexes were the only things connected to each other. He was straight up, on his knees, behind her and trying to get her to the edge and over it.

He knew he wouldn't finish. Not like this. He never could.

His mind was on what else had to be done today. He'd promised Kaynala he would help her to pack up the scouting equipment he always borrowed and returned filthy. Maybe after this, he'd try to round that up, see if Nishia could help him with the herbs….

Her breathing became a bit steadier, bad sign; Zanrye pulled her bottom closer so that he could get a better reach inside her and slapped one of her ass cheeks. That seemed to get her back into it. More than. She was breathing heavier now. She was nearly there.

Zanrye could try to finish too, if he could think back to when he'd bedded Lilazi, something he'd done not even a year ago. That might get him there eventually…but also take more time.

She let out a high moan with her orgasm and then collapsed more so into the bed—if such a thing were possible. Zanrye let her gasp for breath for a few seconds before he let go of her and stood up from the bed, removing his wrap and tossing it into a nearby trash. She turned over and laid there, naked and pretty and in a dreamy state.

"You're not going to stay?" She asked him as he reached for his smallclothes. Already, his erection was softening, due to be gone in the next 10-15 minutes.

"Can't." He told her, not making eye contact. "I already promised Kaynala I'd fix the equipment I ruined. And then Po and I have to start packing down the stores." It was only half a lie.

"Okay." She said, her light brown hair falling over her back as she sat up lazily. "I'll miss you."

"Me too." Zanrye said noncommittedly. He finally pulled his tunic on and grabbed his overshirt. He walked over to the side of the bed, still never quite making eye contact with her, and kissed the edge of her mouth before he walked out of the house.

He inhaled deeply as he did, leaving her house for his own. He should probably at least help Kaynala since that's what he said he was going to do. He made the seven minute trek there, seeing the languid day carry on as people were savoring the area before the move. He saw that his door was open and rolled his eyes as he walked in.

"Po, how many times do I have to say close my door? Bugs love it in here this season." He scolded the man sitting in a chair drinking lemonade. Po shrugged, his hair short now and posture somewhat lazy.

"Maybe another thousand." He laughed, standing up. He set his glass down on the counter as Zanrye moved the vinescreen to his entrance. Po made a move to punch him which Zanrye barely sidestepped. With a chuckle, the man continued the play-fight. Zan shrugged out of Ponawen's grip as the man took him into both arms in a lock from behind.

"Come on." Zanrye said, getting out. Ponawen's eyebrow cocked as he went back toward the counter, lazily, where his lemonade rested. He gestured to another cup and the pitcher.

"What have you been doing; why're you stiff?" He asked as he drank of his own cup, his face confused. Zanrye came to get a glass, adjusting himself best as he could.

"Been at Rina's." he explained, standing at the counterspace as Po sat again. "Hasn't gone away yet." The older man shook his head.

"You could ask her to suck you after." he said.

"I could." Zanrye replied, choosing to stand instead. "She isn't very good at it, though. And she doesn't really want to—with the way we fuck, I don't really feel like having her do it either."

"Y'know, if you would just toss her, you could go and fuck someone who can actually chop your wood." Po said with a laugh. Always laughing. Always un-seriously serious.

"Sometimes I wonder how your mouth doesn't get you more hate." Zanrye said but he had to laugh at the comment.

"You're a gentler heart." Po said evenly but his shit-eating grin was still there. "Besides, you don't like this woman enough to put up with bad sex, Rye. We both know it. She knows it though she pretends not to—leech."

"I don't have time for your whorish advice." Zanrye replied, exasperated but not without a smile. "I have to go to Kaynala's."

"Rye…it's a nice day out. I'm here to take you into town for Keeper." Ponawen said. "Wants us to get specific fruits before we leave in a few days time. And we can have some fun while we're there—you and me. And maybe a whore or two."

"I told Kirina I'd be at Kaynala's." Zanrye told the man. "I don't want to argue with her today about not being where I said I'd be."

"You'll be doing work." Ponawen said with mock sternness. "And it's for Keeper. She trumps 'Nala. If it makes you feel better, you'd only be half-lying then." Zanrye smirked. "Come on Rye. I'm not going to let you do hard labor when it's so nice out today."

Zanrye didn't respond, just turned and put his glass in the bin for cleaning. That was his deference to Ponawen's instruction. The older man began their walk outside but still spoke.

"But I'm serious…" He said with a not-at-all-serious tone. "I've said it before and I'll say it again: I understand she's your first woman—but you don't have to naively stay with her. Either you need to find someone else or tell her how you want to steer this boat."

"I have." Zanrye sighed, following the path out towards the western edge of the forest. "It's not like we haven't tried things 'my way.'"

"But you keep doing things her way." Ponawen said knowingly. "Have you even squirted with her at all? Recently?" He shakes his head at Zanrye's silence. "If you two can't hold comradery, the least you could do is hold a good fuck."

"Creators Po." Zanrye was chuckling now, keeping pace as they went further into the forest. "You keep talking like that and I'll tell have to ask Denosa how she does it."

"More like ask her how I do." Ponawen said, wrapping an arm around Zanrye. "And don't worry—if Rina keeps you dry for too long, I'll personally offer myself to you to save you from dehydration." He squeezed him tight, grinning. "That's what real friends do."

He barely dodged the low punch Zanrye aimed at him and led him on a chase, laughing, all the way to the neighboring town.


PRESENT

HINTERLANDS

This was on their agenda but not so soon. No sooner had they located and set a date to deal with the Dalish elves in the Oasis (more like talk to them) than there was news of the Hinterlands—only area yet where the Inquisition had been firmly rooted—being attacked by the last remaining rogue Templars and where there was news of more Warden sightings.

They made it to the Hinterlands two days after they had set out on their trip. Most of the time there was spent talking to the Corporal and re-securing the farm and the camps and having a chat with King Alistair, who sent them on a task of his own—which Josephine accepted for them, to honor their lasting friendship or something. Either way, it sent he and Josephine deep into Hinterlands, past the very territory where there were the remaining Templar sightings and rebel mage outbreaks.

And as luck would have it, the carriage lost two wheels by a stray blast of energy. It shuddered and crashed to the ground, thankfully not toppling over. Josephine cried out and Zanrye instantly reached for his sword. He stood up in the forward-sloping carriage and took her by the hand to help her forward as well. His senses were heightened. He climbed out, seeing that the driver had been injured and had his bow and arrow cocked. One of the two horses was also injured—but far more badly. It probably would not make it.

"Oh…oh no…." Josephine said quietly as they passed it. Zanrye gazed at it and then the driver who awaited his orders. He looked to see the fight between the mage and the two Templars still raging. Just a few months ago, it would have been a whole legion on either side.

"Josephine, wait on the other side of the carriage." He said bluntly. "Don't come out in case another blast goes astray." Josephine didn't need to be told twice and she left to the other side as Zanrye and the driver neared the trio. So immersed in their battle, they didn't see them until it was too late and Zanrye's blade cut through the Templar without a shield first, pulling out to swing and hit the other one's shield full in the front. The driver launched an arrow straight through the mage's head and he went down quietly. Zanrye dodged the Templars swings, taking nonfatal cuts to his chainmail every now and again before he managed to slow him enough to target the weak spot right near the side and end the man. He sighed after it was done. Another distraction, another time-consuming event. This was supposed to be their time alone, he remembered. Instead, it turned out to really be a business trip—a bloody one.

He went to retrieve Josephine and then ordered the driver to take the weak horse back to the King and tell him of what happened and that the Inquisitor chose to keep on to the destination. They were delivering a letter with vital information about Ferelden and the Inquisition's position together.

"But—Inquisitor." Josephine said to him as the driver reluctantly carried out his orders, unstrapping the horses. "We're…to walk? The rest of the way?"

"Of course not." Zanrye said simply, his irritation at the events ebbing. He walked to the spooked by healthy horse and grabbed his saddle to still him. He turned to Josephine. "We're going to ride the rest of the way."

"On…one horse?" She asked. Zanrye simply nodded and then paused.

"You do know how to ride?" He asked her. "Or if you don't—"

"I do not ride well." Josephine admitted. "But I am steady on it, I assure you."

"Well even so, I'll be steering." Zanrye said. "But you'll be leading with the directions of the area. You remembered them better probably." He held out his hand to her. She hesitated and then took it and let him help her up onto the horse. She sat on it and seemed a little shaky as she did so, her voice becoming flustered.

The emotions suppressed by his irritation came back to Zanrye as he saw her like so. He smiled up at her and then felt the nervousness touch him as well—but for different reasons. He was going to share her horse and…he was going to…ride behind her.

The position was not inherently an intimate one. But given the context….

He hesitated but a second, pretending that it was him letting her get adjusted on the horse. But his mind full of insecurities would not let him rest. He gazed up slowly, seeing her hovering above him, straightening her back as she adjusted—regal and delicate at the same time. So tall on the horse…and he would be behind her….

He knew he was small by shem standards. There was no other way to say it. He was as thin as her—maybe even thinner when speaking of hips and breast area. He was just her height, he knew, but not always. He was the exact opposite of what women like her would probably want. They wanted Cullen, muscles big and rippling—not compactly thin and lean….

Creators, Zan thought, panic filling him as she looked down towards him, his eyes darting away, what if I'm…what if my…?

Surely she had been with men before. And as with everything else, what if the shems she'd been with were…bigger than him? By a lot? What if she thought he was small?

He stopped himself in an instant, returning the smile she gave him as she gazed down at him with an "I'm ready to go" type of look. He was panicking and he was getting ahead of himself. She wouldn't even feel him through the armor and things. And this was no time to think of that anyhow… But you're going to think of it anyway

He slowly climbed up, swinging his legs on either side of the horse as quickly as he could. He was taller than her especially with the slope of the horse back. He placed his feet in the stirrups and wrapped his arms around her body to grab the reigns.

And it felt very, very good.

He couldn't think for a moment, taking in how they adjusted to accommodate the other without quite pressing into each other. She was nervous…she was still slightly shaky. He could feel it in her shoulders. Zanrye felt the crazy urge to pull her to him and cease the shaking but he knew he wouldn't. And shouldn't.

He snapped the reigns and they set off at a trot, which forced the distance between them to close unless Josephine wanted to bounce precariously. She slowly but surely leaned her body back into his and Zanrye's chest felt very warm, warmer even than his face. He kept them at their pace and tried not to let himself get too into it—armor or no, he didn't want to offend her with his bodily responses. Certainly not over a horse ride.

But it was also something about being in the forests and around hills and trees and valleys of different color and texture—all which the Hinterlands offered. It made him feel his fear and his shame less intensely. He felt…better…about his emotions. Even his perverted mind that kept noticing how her hair smelled or how deep her breathing was…she was nervous too…. For some reason, he found less will to squash the feelings, write them off, or stutter them into being. That was present…but not as strong as the pleasure he was taking in this.

As they got closer via her instructions, he noticed they were past the eastern river and would be reaching the sloping areas soon. He knew there'd be hills, even cliffs.

And then he was filled with so much unaccounted-for confidence that he even surprised himself when his arms tightened around her shoulders slightly and his mouth was near her ear, asking, "Do you want to do something fun?"

He felt her shiver and he thought that might be the end for him; he fought to keep his face straight and body unmoved. She spoke out ahead of them but to him.

"What—did you have in mind?" She asked. Zanrye looked out at the expansive green, rolling hills and felt the urge overcome him. And he also felt the urge…to share it with her… desperately. Shem, woman, danger, pleasure, whatever she was. He wanted this for her.

"You can't be afraid." Zanrye replied, not quite answering the question. Josephine was more afraid now that he'd said that he realized but that made him laugh, which he did. Josephine looked scared but intrigued back at him. Her face was very close and her brown-hazley eyes were bright. After a time, she finally said, "All right then" and turned back to face the front.

He steadied the reigns before them and then hesitated but a second before he slowly but firmly placed a hand under one of her thighs. He could feel how tense she was and did not make eye contact with her, knowing his cheeks probably showed how much they burned and moved her leg into the stirrup, placing one of her feet over his own. He did the same to the other. Josephine was getting scared he knew. Just like he had. He tightened his grip on the reigns and directed the horse farther east. He inhaled deeply.

"You may want to hold onto me." He advised her, an oddly proud feeling coming to him as he spoke the words. And she did, softly, her hands resting on his knees. As soon as she seemed settled, Zanrye took off.

Josephine yelped as they shot up the rolling, green hills littered with flowers, sprinting past with the horse galloping like it was in a race. Zanrye kept the speed, feeling the wind rushing and the gravel underneath the horse's hooves. His excitement was near palpable. Josephine's grip on him became tighter now and one hand reached back to clutch his side. Zanrye tightened his arms around her side to calm her, the horse gathering yet more speed and climbing higher.

"Zan—" Josephine's warning died as she quaked. Zanrye did not answer. They were nearly there. They were ready. It was time.

"Don't be scared!" Zanrye yelled to her over the rushing as the edge of the hill loomed. She did not answer as the edge came into view. And when they reached it and jumped out from over it, she cried out briefly.

They floated. They flew. Zanrye's body ascended into the vast order that was the Hinterlands as the solid ground left them and the horse and then it was the weightlessness once more. He felt his stomach turn twice, his eyes taking in just how high up the cliff had been from another risen platform of grass before they shot down onto it and he was grounded again. The feeling jolted him but would only last a second before another jump came. This one made Josephine scream a bit longer and Zanrye laugh a bit harder as they kept on in this way, bouncing and traveling and rushing until the hills became more sloping than steep. The horse eventually came to a trot.

And when it did, Josephine was panting heavily, gasping for breath. As was Zanrye. He breathed deep and waited a time before asking her if she was alright. They still trotted.

And at this, Josephine laughed. She swept a shaky hand through her windswept hair and kept laughing until she could settle back into giggles.

"That was horrible." She concluded but the two continued to laugh at it and her reaction. More than horrible, it was enjoyable…the horrible part was only the fear—and the risk.


10 YEARS EALIER

They'd moved to the Green Dales, back to the Anitvan area in just two weeks time. Zanrye liked it here. They all knew he liked it here. That's what caused them all—when houses were done being set up—to get some fine antivan brandy and gather round in the forest, by a bonfire, and get drunk. Their musician friends, which included Kayanla, played lute and harp and drums, and sung aloud, alternating. Zanrye felt nice, downing his glass in a matter of twenty minutes. Then his second glass ten minutes later.

It was a warm evening, with the sun still in the sky even if barely. It was a blue—red—orange sky that fell over them and lighted their path. Their celebration. Though only a few of the young adults had come, it felt like the entire camp was here.

Kirina sat near to him and laughed and joked with all around her. Zanrye found himself contemplating her. It had been only three weeks since Ponawen had given him a talk about leaving her yet again. But was that really the right response to hardship in a relationship? To leave just because things weren't quite what you thought? Because this relationship started as let's see where this goes and turned into a lot more work and grief than he'd bargained for?

He'd never seen a romance end—not a committed one. His parents had stayed together. So had Po's. Nishia never took boyfriends so much as sex buddies and Po acted like a kid, changing "bed-friends" left and right. That wasn't what a man would do.

But at the same time…was it really better to leave the relationship like this when they argued more than laughed and couldn't reach the intimacy that Zanrye desired—sexual and romantic? Rina might get some but she was getting it with less than half of Zanrye's heart being into it.

He didn't let that trouble him for too long however. This was a party. He heard a particularly fast song and so he stood up, the people around drunkenly cheering him. The flames warmed the area and he sauntered over to Nishia. She shook her head but he stood his ground. She had to smile, her braided hair tied into a crowned piece. She happened to be wearing a longer shirt today over her thin trousers, making it appear more dress-like. After he kept his hand brandished, she took it and he pulled her into a step.

"Get her done!" Po cried and a laugh swept through the party as Zanrye danced with Nishia, spinning her and twisting her as she reluctantly but surely joined in. It was a very good time indeed. When more joined and Nishia's latest puppydog came for her hands, Zanrye found his partner replaced with Lana, then Lilazi, then Denosa, whom he held close while he shot mockingly evil looks at Po who play-charged through them. Soon, it was his own girl, Rina, in his arms and it didn't feel at all negative. She danced with him and he with her and the others all danced around them for nearly an hour.

When the music changed to something more languid, she pressed her body close to his and he was grateful for it, holding her waist as her arms wrapped around his shoulders.

When she whispered that she wanted to go to his house because it was getting late, Zanrye actually felt excited for it. He wrapped an arm around her and they headed off with Ponawen drawing attention to it. Zanrye shouted back profanities but they headed out all the same. She cuddled in close to him and he suddenly felt more attracted to her than he had in months (and they had only been dating for the past 7).

They entered his house quietly. He had only gotten his own home recently at that—two months into their dating in fact, when he had been 21 for short time. His was simple but decorative, with herbs on the tables and trinkets here and there. He took her into his arms and kissed her deeply and she submitted to it, letting him put his hands in her hair and hold her to him.

He led her to the bed, kissing her ears and her neck softly. Her shirt came off as well as her tights and she sat on the bed as he removed his own clothes. He got past his shirt when she scooted back and, overcome with their synced momentum, he climbed on top of her, kissing her mouth hard and then trailing his lips down her body to her smallclothes bottoms, pressing his cheek against her through the fabric. His heart was beating fast, he was so excited. She also didn't care for getting sucked as much as she didn't care for doing the sucking, he knew (though not for his lack of skill at it; he'd learned the art well). But now she made no protest as he stripped away the fabric and pressed his tongue to her.

He removed his own pants as he did so, keeping one arm hooked under her ass to hold her steady. She gave her soft moans but was making slow movements for them to change. Compromise.

Zanrye almost forgot his wrap as she distracted him with kissing and touching and little moans beneath him. But when he found it and put it on, he entered her with flourish, kissing her as he did so. This was how he wanted it—where he could kiss her and feel her legs around him. Where he could touch her hair, not pull it. Where he could press their bodies together whenever he wished, feel her against his torso. This was sex that took him closer and closer to the edge.

But another change was indeed coming as she slowly edged for them to slow to a stop. He did stop for a moment and she took her chance to sit up and turn around, offering her ass to him. He paused but a second before he re-entered her from the back. He was disappointed but not upset. Compromise. She needed to spend herself too.

And spend herself she did but this time, Zanrye was far enough along from the beginning to take just a few more minutes to spend himself as well. They laid on the bed afterwards, her lying on his chest and him looking towards the ceiling. His drunkenness was leaving; he contemplated the day and the move and the way this place felt right—when he heard the words leave her mouth.

He froze, his eyes widening and body stiffening—not his penis. And he suddenly felt the world narrow back into perspective—no rosy brandy or sunsets to make him envision it differently. The seconds went by as the naked woman beside him waited for him to speak and Zanrye felt less attracted to her than he ever had before.


PRESENT

HINTERLANDS

They rode from the pickup place with an official document which Josephine kept close. They offered a second horse but Josephine was fine with sharing. Zanrye and she had cozied up to each other and the conversations kept on as they strolled back to Redcliffe.

"…truly appreciate it until I left." She finished. "To know that you think of it like you do…"

"The place always held something for me." Zanrye reasoned. "And since we could never stay in one place, going back whenever we did…was good for me. Made me fonder of it."

"I suppose when one is born in Antiva…it is hard to rid yourself of its calling." Josephine said softly. "And it's true I never did hear the same elf propaganda there…."

"I'm sure it existed." Zanrye said. "But no…it wasn't as rampant. Too many city elves."

"I've always wondered…why the vehemence." She said. Paused. "Too many times, there are stories of wild elves…when all the violence seen is against the elves…."

"Fear and power." Zanrye reasoned but he felt his hate stirring, as well as…appreciation. Everything that came out of this woman's mouth threatened to have him call her nothing but an exception to the world of shems. "They think we're savage…or just different."

"But savagery is the opposite of writing and government and language." Josephine shook her head. "From what you've told me…and what I know…it seems a far stretch to place such titles on this group of people."

"That's where power comes into play." Zanrye said.

"But the assertion is feeble.' Josephine continued. "If this had been a part of the game, the humans who started such labels would have been uprooted and scandalized before they had even acquired any power…" She sighed. "It's not just detestable…but sloppy."

Zanrye said nothing but wanted the matter to drop. He let the moments tick on before he finally spoke once more.

"I think there could be understanding…if people wanted it." He said loosely. He hesitated. "There's so much elven culture that I don't know…that I would kill to know…. Humans do not see the worth in it. But then there are years of war where humans decided our culture was not worthy of much notice or preservation."

"But it is." Josephine said, her voice soft again. "Even the things you tell me, Zanrye…it is so intricate. And dense. You make it all…sound…sound idyllic. It sounds wonderful. And beautiful. How you can be cast in such shadow and labeled as savage…ugly…is incredible."

"Well there are a few humans who have fetishes. I guess some think we're… "honorable," "beautiful."" He said, his tone slightly dark.

"And you are." Josephine said. "And not just to a subset of those with hidden fantasies.

There was an odd silence after her words. Zanrye took a moment to process them. You're beautiful to her. The thought had Zanrye smile but nervously. Josephine seemed to realize the direction of her words and she did not speak for a moment. Zanrye paused longer.

"I think you're beautiful as well." He said with an even tone.

"Oh! Well…I…you're much too kind, Inquisitor." She stuttered out. Zanrye's ears prickled. He did not speak for another moment, just let it be there, let their ride continue. Her hair was to his face and her back rested on his chest. Their bottoms had come closer together since their initial takeoff. Zanrye felt shy but good at having said it…and hearing it. His insecurities from before seemed to have called for this admittance on both their parts.

She's so…wonderful. There wasn't another way to say it. Zanrye subtly (probably not so subtly) wrapped his arms tighter around her as they headed for the carriage to the next destination.


10 YEARS EARLIER

"And then what?" Po asked Zanrye, who'd come to his house in the middle of the night after the argument with Rina. He had poured the man some tea and Zan'd rambled for minutes on end, dressed haphazardly and looking into his cup. Nishia sat to the side as well, listening. An intervention had been called.

"Then…I told her that it would never be what she wanted it to be." Zanrye forced out. "And I said…that…we should end it."

Po's laughter made Zanrye bristle but it was to be expected. The man chortled.

"Right after a romp." He shook his head.

"Did she ask you to stay?" Nishia asked, ignoring Po, her eyes plain.

"Yeah." Zanrye sighed. "Asked me…to try…for us." He wrinkled his forehead. "I couldn't. I told her…there was nothing…"

"Nothing to try for." Nishia finished or him. Zanrye drank his tea, sighing. She had cried a lot. After the silence, she had scoffed and turned to the ceiling as well, tears in her eyes. He had sat up and rubbed his own in frustration. She told him not to speak but he did. He told her: "This isn't the right relationship Karina." She had sharply looked at him, shocked. He'd not been able to stop: he didn't love her, he didn't feel happy, he didn't get off, he didn't see much more merit to this relationship. That's when her pleas had come. They hurt him—they really did. He didn't want her to be sad, to beg. But what was she begging for? For someone to tolerate her enough where she could be able to have comfort and squirts? Was that all she wanted?

"Well." Po said finally. "You did good."

"I feel awful." Zanrye said softly.

"That's because it's your first time." Po shrugged.

"It's alright to feel bad." Nishia said. "She didn't want things to end. But you also can't stay feeling bad. You did the right thing. You and she deserve different things. You especially deserve better."

"She begged me to stay—to see her side…." Zanrye said hollowly. He could barely believe it. "I didn't think she'd…do that."

"She got more out of the relationship than you did." Nishia said bluntly. "It's only right that she wants to hold onto you."

"Leech." Po reminded.

"You aren't compatible." Nishia said finally. She looked dead in his face. "You will be able to put this in perspective after you're through the storm. This is your first break-up. It's only natural that you have mixed feelings. The one thing neither of us will tolerate," she glanced at Po, "is you returning to her."

"Oh definitely not." Po scoffed. "No matter what, you need to let that die."

"No going back." Nishia said firmly. "You made the right decision and you will see that one day but for now, you can't afford to give in to her guilt."

"I guess." Zanrye said quietly. He looked up at them—like a baby looked at parents. "You'll… help me through this then, yeah?"

"Of course we will." Nishia said bluntly. "You won't have to fret too much more. You did the hardest part. And now that we are here, we'll see you through this."

"I'll even let you chop my favorite whore down at the inn." Po smiled.

"We just got here." Nishia shot at him. "You already have a favorite?"

"Appetite's large." Po explained. "And don't say yours isn't." He grinned at Zanrye. "Your mother here tries to pretend she doesn't cheat on me, but she does. With at least two a week."

"I'll go prepare a bed." Nishia stood. "If you're done talking out your ass, get Zanrye ready for bed and then get him to the room. You get the floor tonight. Rye can sleep with me."

"It's my house!" Po said.

"And you aren't very good at the art of seriousness so you get the floor." Nishia said simply. She left the room and Po turned his gaze to Zanrye.

"Such attitude." He said. "You'd think she was one who went through a breakup." He got up as well and clapped Zan's shoulder. "No matter what happens, we're here for you." The brief moment of intensity passed with Po's grin after. "Whimpering fool…."


PRESENT

EN ROUTE TO SKYHOLD

As soon as they reached Redcliffe, the raven had come and ended their journey prematurely. But not at a bad time. They needed to head back to save Cassandra from the sea of unexpected visitors. The carriage ride was quiet but the pressure in the air was not malicious or negative. It was warm…awkward…and warm.

Josephine fell asleep halfway there, the sky dark outside and the gently rhythm putting her to sleep. Zanrye watched her, seeing how her mouth hung ever so slightly open and how her hands curled inwards. She had fallen over, having slumped onto the side and her body continued to slide. She was horizontal on the seat. Zanrye was mere feet away. The events of before had only served to increase his emotions. He liked her, and it was becoming clear. And it was also clear he could act on this. The question still hung—should he? He didn't want to answer that question though. He just wanted…

He turned his eyes again toward her beautiful figure. How in the world had she been born to the shems? She was a woman with all the beliefs, love, and personality to be an elf through and through. She was a person…a good person….

He closed his own eyes, but all he could do was imagine himself and Josephine replaying the events in the same fashion and even in others. This woman made him feel like no other had—ever. She was majestic and beautifully soft with a stable look about her.

She was sound asleep next to him and he could fantasize all he liked. But with respect of her presence. She was a "courtly" lady—one with whom he realized he had to play a game. Not one of challenging and hiding his feelings…but a knightly quest. To prove that he was worthy of someone like her.

It was on odd thought—to prove he was worthy to a shem. But she was so much more than that. So much more. He kept realizing that time and again. Nishia said there were no exceptions and true there weren't…and that made him all the more confused about their respective places here.

In another life…she may have been a city elf…who had an ear disfigurement…who would be waving a fan before her face, blushing as he whisked her onto horse and they galloped out into the unmarked valley. He would keep one hand right around her torso protectively, the other on the reigns. And when they got to the destination, he'd help her down and wrap her up in his arms as she whispered his name. Down they'd go to the ground and he'd put her on her back, lips in her neck, ready to rock her world with the experience he was going to give her. He'd lick from the base of her to the hard jewel between her legs, working his tongue at it until she was crying for him to stop but don't stop. And then he'd go slow at first, then steady, like he was swimming. They'd hold on until she didn't have any energy left. And when he was done, he'd hold her in his arms, tucked protectively to his chest, rocking her to sleep.

Her movement drew his eyes open and once again to her as she raised her legs up to the seat, getting more comfortable. She was still asleep. Zanrye gazed at her and then felt the tiredness coming to him as well. He ruminated on the day once more, finding that each time he did, he couldn't believe that he had been so brave. And so foolish.

The threat in Orlais and from Corypheus came to mind then and he began to wonder where the place was for things like this, these romantic antics, in a world fighting destruction.

He didn't have an answer.


Helpful Information

RECAP

Right before wicked minds, wicked hearts. Before meeting Hawke as well and before meeting the trainers. We end with all of this on the horizon.

SEMANTIC/NONSEMANTIC

The mention of the Dalish at the Oasis has not been handled. Neither has the exploration of the Emerald Graves obviously.

Josephine's view on how elves are treated in Antiva is more or less lore driven. In the city-city, anyone is anyone. But among what could be called antivan nobility, there is indeed a hierarchy where elves are shit

In case you forgot, Zanrye was born in an Antivan region

Back Story Chronology Reminder: 11ya (20), he'd been deemed a hero and had slept with Lilazi. Shortly after that, he'd begun to date Kirina and this relationship overlapped into the 10ya (21) age. It is after the breakup and near the end of the 10ya (age 21) that Zanrye also loses his step-father [the last remaining parent he has]. He loses him shortly after he gets his own place too.

NON-INQUISITION CAST:

Nishia- (girl) best friend

Ponawen- (boy, deceased) best friend, buried

Lana- (girl) keeper's second, good friend of Zanrye. Gone now

Kaynala- (girl) hunter, musician, good friend of Zanrye

Mima- (girl) younger sister by five years

Kirina- (girl) Zanrye's first real girlfriend

Lilazi- (girl) scout who Zanrye hooked up with