Title - Sunshine Follows Thunder
Chapter title - Saviour
Author - OblivionsGarden
Genre - Romance/Drama
Disclaimer - I do not own My Mad Fat Diary or My Fat Mad Teenage Diary, in anyway shape or form. I only own my original characters and the plot for this fic. For this chapter I own, Teddy and Lucy.
A/n - Please read and review, I'd greatly appreciate it. Hope you enjoy, xx (:
TRIGGER WARNING - TALKS ABOUT SUICIDE
FINN'S POV
Weird. Teddy was definitely a weird one. I think that's why I liked her so much. She was different to everyone else but in all the right ways. She didn't pretend to like things to impress me. Although, trying to find something by The Smiths that she liked seemed like something that would impress her. She dressed how she liked not how magazines told her to. She was brilliant.
But sometimes things she did were a different sort of weird. Like just now when she rushed off down the road. I'd thought after giving her the CD she might want to hang out or something. I was glad she didn't start listening to it in front of me, I nearly had a heart attack when she got her CD player out. I wanted her to get my message but not when I was there to be laughed at.
When I turned away to head back inside, I noticed three girls just brushing past me. I wondered if they had something to do with Teddy's sudden retreat.
"She's such a freak, I went to school with her." The blonde one said as they passed.
I ground my teeth together and clenched my fists. I may have twatted that lad for bullying Rae but I refuse to hit a girl. Even if she deserves it. I assumed that must be the Lucy girl Teddy had told me about.
I turned on my heel and ran back inside. I grabbed my jacket and pulled on my boots before heading out the door. I walked at a slightly quickened pace, just in-case Teddy was still around and thought I was following her. But as I walked along she was no where around. I spotted the three girls heading into the city centre. I contemplated going to Teddy's house but knew Rae would already be there if she needed anyone. I couldn't go I'd come across as stalkerish. Instead I headed to the chippie for my dinner.
Later that afternoon I headed back home to grab some Cd's to take down to the park. Halfway up the stairs my dad called me back down. He held out an envelope with my name written across the front.
"What's this?"
"You're friend dropped it off. Said it was for your eyes only."
"Which friend?" I frowned taking it from him.
"Erm...Rae." He answered. "No wait. The other one. Teddy."
"Sure?"
"Yes."
I smiled and shook my head, heading back upstairs. I shed my jacked, dropping down to lie across my bed on my stomach. Opening the envelope I found a folded piece of paper. On the inside of it was a neat handwriting, slanting to the left. I smiled, wondering if this was Teddy's way of replying to the CD.
'Finn, I get what you want. What's the story morning glory? (Good tune by the way.)
I guess now is a good time to tell you everything. At least I won't have to deal with whatever reaction you have.'
I frowned at the letter. Wouldn't have to deal with my reaction? What does that mean?
'Everything started when I was eleven...'
"Did Teddy say where she was going?" My feet wouldn't stay still. My hands were sweating and my mind racing.
"What?"
"Teddy, when she dropped that letter off. Did she mention anything about where she was going?" Please dad, say you did your usual thing of making conversation with my friends.
"Hmm...Well, she mentioned something about going for a walk by the docks. Said she enjoys the view, that the water was calming."
"Thanks." I ran out of the house and down the street.
My feet couldn't move fast enough as they slapped down hard against the pavement. My breathing was labored and my chest ached but I couldn't stop. The docks were 20 minutes away from my house and all I could do was hope to god she didn't do anything before I found her. I didn't think to use my scooter but if I had I'd probably have been pulled over for speeding.
How could she even think about herself like that? I knew she'd obviously had a bad upbringing but I never realized how bad. I wish I could've know her and been there for her. I wish I could've helped her so she didn't have to feel like she should hurt herself. I wish I could've been there to let her know that someone did care about her and that someone did think she was basically perfect. I wish I could fix her, save her.
When I got to the docks I searched frantically for any sign of Teddy. I couldn't find her anywhere, then I had an idea. Over looking the river was a large, tower type structure. From up there I'd be able to see all around the area to see if she was still here.
I sped up the steps as fast as I could manage as the ache from my chest spread to my legs. As I reached the top however my feet stopped. Teddy was stood facing the river, her toes over the edge of the platform. She was swaying back and forth as though she were working up momentum to jump. I wanted to run forward and pull her back but I couldn't move my legs. Instead I opted for the one thing that I hoped was still working.
"Teddy?" I'd hoped to call her name but it came out in a cracked whisper.
But she heard me. Her head snapped around and she met my gaze. Stark red tear tracks ran down her face as fresh ones fell. She turned her whole body to face me but as she moved she misplaced her footing and slipped out of sight. Suddenly my legs surged me forward, screaming her name down into the water as she crashed beneath the surface. I shed my jacket and dived after her, ignoring the iciness of the water. It stung when I opened my eyes but a little sting compared to loosing her was nothing. It was hard to see anything under the water and I had to feel around half blind. Eventually my hand found what felt like Teddy's usual denim jacket and I dragged her towards me, wrapped my arms around her small frame and swam upwards. I heard her drink in the air when we broke the surface and breathed a sigh of relief.
Suddenly she started thrashing around in my arms, pushing herself away from me. She turned in my arms to face me, pressing her hands against my chest and trying to push me back. I gripped her tight, not wanting to let her go.
"Teddy, stop!"
"Finn, let me go!"
"No! I'm not gonna let you do this." My voice sounded rough, as though I hadn't spoken for days.
"I can't do it anymore, Finn. Please, just let me go." Her sobs racked her body as she shook convulsively.
"Let me help you. Just give me a chance to help. Please." I leant my head forward to rest my forehead against hers.
"I can't. I'm not strong enough. I'm sorry."
Before I had a chance to realize what was happening her fist flew up into my face causing me to release my grip and shift backwards. My nose felt like it exploded and my vision blurred. I stayed still as I tried to regain my bearings and clear my sight. I wiped some of the blood from running into my mouth and turned around in the water. Teddy was gone. I took another deep breath and dived again.
She was deeper this time and I could tell by her lack of reaction when I grabbed her that she'd been under to long. When we resurfaced her head lolled back onto my shoulder. I swam to the edge, using my last remaining energy to push Teddy up onto land and pull myself up after her.
"Oh my god, what happened?" A man came running over to us but I ignored him.
I moved onto my knees, rolling Teddy onto her back. My hands shook as I pushed her hair from her face. She was unconscious and I didn't have a clue what to do.
"Move." The man pushed me back as he dropped to his knees beside us. "Go find someone to call an ambulance." I watched as he pinched her nose and started breathing into her mouth. "Now!"
I stumbled backwards before running out onto the road trying to find someone. I ran into the first shop I found, a D.I.Y shop and somehow managed to string a coherent sentence together and get them to call an ambulance. Once that was done I ran straight back to Teddy. She was lay on her side now, the man sitting behind her, keeping her like that.
"She coughed up the water, she's just unconscious now. But she's breathing."
"Right...T-thank you." I took her hand, encasing it in mine. "She's freezing." The man shed his green fleece jacket and draped it over her.
The man rested his hand on my shoulder as I tried and failed to stop myself from crying. "It's alright. She'll be alright, mate."
"Hello?"
"Erm, hello. Is this Rae and Teddy's mum?"
"Yes, who's this?"
"My name's Finn. I'm a friend of theirs. Uh...Teddy's in hospital." I may have been blunt but there's no use in beating around the bush with something like this. "She's OK, she's alive. She's just unconscious. I'm going to the park now to get Rae, I just thought you should know."
"Right, yes. Thank you. We're on our way."
After hanging up I left the hospital and caught a taxi to the park. As I approached the gang, Chop grinned at me.
"About fuckin' time, we've been waiting for you for ages." He leant back, grabbing me a can of beer. "Ted not with you?"
"She's in hospital."
Rae immediately sat up straight, her eyes growing wide.
"What?"
"She nearly drowned. She's unconscious but breathing. Kester's with her."
"Chop, drive us to the hospital now."
"Course. We're all coming. C'mon."
I wish I could show Teddy this moment. How her friends were worried and wanted to cram into a tiny car just to make sure she was OK.
TEDDY'S POV
Flashes of Finn's face just before I fell flooded my mind. The sound of his voice when he whispered my name, when he screamed my name, when he said he wouldn't let me go, when he begged me to give him a chance. It was now, in whatever state I was in, that I saw the sincere feeling in his eyes when he spoke to me. Saw just how lucky I was to have friends like those that I had. Not people who pitied me like I'd thought but genuine friends. And now I'm dead and lonelier than ever. Fuck. I hope Rae didn't hate me too much.
Hold on a minute. I can hear Kester's voice. What the hell is going on?
I opened my eyes, only to snap them shut again after being practically blinded by sunlight.
"She's awake."
I tried opening my eyes again, thankful when someone got rid of the light. I blinked a few times to clear my vision and found myself in a stark white room looking up at Kester.
"Teddy, can you hear me?"
"I had water in my lungs I didn't go deaf." I scowled. I was still alive but now I was certain of it, I wasn't sure if I should be thankful or not. Nothing is clear when you're alive, it's all guess work.
Kester kept asking me questions. How did I fall in the river? Did I actually fall? Why was I up on the tower? What was I down at the docks for anyway? Bla bla bla... I ignored him, wanting nothing more than to pull the hospital sheets over my head and hide forever. Through the window in the door I could see the nurse talking to everyone. I was surprised when I saw them here. And I knew as soon as Kester was done here they'd all be in and asking questions. I couldn't deal with it. Not yet.
"Can you, give me five minutes to myself? I need a wee."
Kester sighed. "Five minutes. The your family can come and talk to you, but then we have to speak. OK?"
"OK."
Kester left as I climbed to my feet and headed into the small bathroom. One thing came in use, having been in this hospital before. The bathroom's had windows and we were on the ground floor. I pulled the toilet lid down and stood on it, opening the window just far enough for me to climb out. Once my feet touched the ground I felt the cool wind whip around my legs. Hospital gowns are not the best thing to wear outdoors. I thought about heading home and just waiting for someone to come back and fine me but I knew mum would only drag me back to the hospital. Instead I went somewhere I knew I could stay for a while.
"Rae!"
"Teddy." I smiled up at Finn's forgetful dad.
"Sorry about that. I'll have to remember you're the shorter one." He smiled. "What's this about then?" He pointed to the gown.
"Uh, fancy dress party. Finn said he had some fake blood from last Halloween I could borrow."
"Oh right. I thought Finn was with you actually."
"He was. He had something to do though, so he said I should wait in his room for him...If that's OK with you obviously."
"Of course it is, go on up."
"Thanks."
I smiled, heading inside, amazed he'd bought the fancy dress lie. I closed the door to Finn's room behind me, smiling at the fact I could be completely alone for a while. I crossed the room to his bed, finding the note I'd sent still there. I picked it up as I sat down, re-reading my words. I shook my head at myself scrunching the paper up into a ball and tossing it into Finn's bin. I lay down, letting my eyes fall closed.
When I woke up, Finn was lay on his back beside me. His eyes were closed but I didn't think he was asleep. I watched him for a moment before starting the inevitable.
"Finn?" His eyes shot open immediately and he turned his head to face me. He opened his mouth to talk but stopped himself. "I'm sorry." I whispered.
"No." He rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. "You have nothing to be sorry for. The only one who should be sorry are the ones who've ever put you down and make you feel like shit."
We lay like that for a while, just holding and comforting each other. Both of us cried but neither of us would let the other look at us.
"Rae punched Lucy in the face." Finn murmured into my hair.
"What?" I pulled back from him so I could see him properly. There was dried blood around his left nostril and the inside of his left eye was starting to bruise.
"When we realized you were gone we ran out of the hospital. Down the street was Lucy. I had mentioned to Rae about her bullying you at school and she already knew about in the pub. And I said that I saw her follow you from my house. I said I wish I could hit her but I can't cause she's a girl. So Rae did it instead."
"What did mum say?"
"She told her to hurry up so they could get in the car and see if you were at home." We both chuckled at the thought. "I called you mum. I just said I'd drive you home when you woke up."
"Thanks." I sighed. "I'm sorry about everything Finn."
"Teddy-"
"No. I know you said I shouldn't be but I should. I should've realized that you weren't pitying me. I should've realized just how great I had it rather than listening to Lucy."
"Just...Realize it now."
"And sorry for punching you." Finn laughed. "You know you're getting better at speaking."
"Yeah." Finn smiled. "Not amazing though. Did you, er...Finish the CD?"
"No. I only got to Morning Glory."
"You should listen to the rest."
"I will." I sat up, pushing my hair from my face. "I should probably get home before mum tears her hair out."
"I'll drive you in my dad's car."
We stood from the bed and Finn pulled out a long checked shirt from his wardrobe. He draped it over my shoulders, smiling softly as we left the house. When we pulled up at home, before I got out of the car I turned back to Finn.
"Thanks for saving me."
