Much as I hated ditching Raph, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't something of a smile on my face.

I continued running through the rooftops, my speed definitely improved from having dropped my cargo. The Foot are catching up, but I'm aiming on losing them. All I need to do is drop into this next alley, open up the manhole cover, and hide in the shadows. Then they'd think I went into the sewers and lose themselves down there while I go find Raph.

My eyes went down to the dump truck that Raphael was trying to flail his way out of, and I nearly stopped in my tracks. There were two Foot chasing after the truck, trying their best to keep up. They were probably waiting for him to jump out so they could tackle him. Not if I can help it, I thought.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I jumped off the roof, swung onto a streetlight, and crashed down towards the two ninjas trailing the truck. We rolled for a while in the dark street, and I was grateful that the closest approaching car was blocks away. One of the ninjas kicked me hard in the stomach, and I grunted as I punched one of them in the face, not even sure if he's the one that hit me.

Judging by the headlights, the car was getting closer. I was really hoping that none of the other Foot had been tracking Raph, because these two guys are putting up more of a fight than I would have thought. I tried my best to wrench my way out of the tangle of black arms and legs as the vehicle starts getting close and honking its horn.

Finally getting too concerned about car, I decided to fight dirty. I kneed one of them in the groin and jumped to my feet, dragging along the other Foot who was maintaining a tight grip on my arm. The car horn was now honking wildly and, in the hope of keeping myself alive, I slapped the ninja soundly across the face with the back of my hand, pushing him backwards as I jump to safety.

The sound of the screeching tires makes my skin crawl.

From the shadows of an alley, I looked back at the scene. I had apparently pushed the ninja directly into the car's trajectory. His body was lying at a horrifying angle, and the driver had jumped out of her car and was screaming. Did I… did I do that? Did I just kill a Foot ninja?

I heard a sound behind me and whirled around. The female ninja was standing behind me. Despite a glimmer of anger in her eyes, she maintained her calm façade. "Are you satisfied, turtle," she asked me. "Are you now willing to listen to reason?"

My knees felt like they were going to buckle under me, and my head was swimming. Still, I wasn't about to let her know that. Taking out my bo, I told her, "Lady, you've got us confused. The one wearing the red is the unreasonable one. As for what just happened, I'm sorry. I was just trying to keep him off my brother's back."

"That is precisely what I mean," she told me. I took a quick look around. It didn't look like I was surrounded or anything, but I doubt that any half-decent ninja would allow himself to be seen at a time like this. "You did what you felt you must, because you knew the safety of your brother depended upon it. And when it came down to a life-or-death situation, you willingly pushed your enemy in the way of danger while you ensured your own survival. The Foot Clan does the same, and so I would not think it would be in your best interests to make an enemy of us too soon."

"I'm nothing like you!" I screamed out at her before she's even done talking. "Don't try and use this as some way to make me turn over to the dark side, lady. The Foot is pretty synonymous with evil, and my brothers and I will stop you the minute we know what you're up to."

"But you will do nothing now?" I shifted uncomfortably as she asked the quiet question. "Perhaps your clan has more in common with mine than you would choose to admit. You would not waste time with an enemy when you still have a family member in potential danger… and nor would I." She paused for a moment before walking towards me. I stiffened up, but calmed considerably when she passed by me and told me, "Go tend to your wounded, turtle. I shall go tend to mine."

I turned around, watching as she approached the accident scene. Hearing sirens in the distance, I quickly called out, "Wait!" I don't know what I meant to say. Someone who's reviving the criminal organization that's been my family's sworn enemy for years has just missed the perfect opportunity to strike, allowing me to go "tend to my wounded." And she's… going to tend to hers. This woman… if she's acting as the new head of the Foot Clan, then she's definitely of a different make than the Shredder.

She had paused when I called to her, but I still couldn't find the words to say. Turning to look back at me over her shoulder, she told me, "My name is Karai. When the one you call Leonardo returns, we shall have dealings once again."

In a flash, she threw down some smoke pellets. By the time I stopped coughing, she was gone and the police were fast approaching. She knew about Leo! How did she know about Leo? And… if she knew that we're not a complete team, why did she just walk away?

I didn't have time to think about this, though. As much as I wanted to see if the injured Foot ninja was alive, I decided to let that mystery gnaw at me while I turned to find a sewer to duck into. Sheathing my bo, I found one and jumped in.

Once I landed in the murky water of the sewers, I fell to my knees. My stomach felt queasy. One brother was sick at home. Another one was drugged up and taking a swim in a garbage truck. And another was halfway across the world. And here I am, the so-called leader of the group, unable to keep to his feet because he may have just ended a life.

No time, I thought as I slowly made my way to my feet. No time for the pity fest. Take out your tracking device and locate your brother. Then you can go home and… and cry, if that's what you really want, you big baby.

Disgusted with myself, I began to do just that.


"At least you're safe in here," I murmured, leaning against the window sill.

Raphael and Casey looked up, apparently not having heard me climb the fire escape. "Donnie!" Raphael remarked, getting up. Apparently, the drugs have worn off. "How'd ya find me?"

"Simple," I smirked, pulling myself into the apartment. "When I found where you abandoned the tracker, I just followed my nose. Eau de Garbâge is a great scent for you." He cursed under his breath and sat back down. I'm shocked April even let him on her sofa; it was more than obvious that he just fell off a garbage truck.

"You okay, Donnie?" Casey asked. "You ain't lookin' too good. A little more green than usual, and that's pretty hard considering, y'know… you're a turtle." Raphael eyed me curiously at Casey's statement, but I just crossed my arms over my chest and looked down.

"Donnie? I thought I heard your voice!" I looked back up when April came down the stairs. I was surprised by how cheerful she managed to look. Then again, I don't know if I can imagine being cheerful for a long time after tonight.

"Hey April," I said, trying not to sound too sullen. "It's pretty late. I hope Raph didn't wake you two up."

"Naw, we're pretty much night owls," Casey explained with a dreamy grin, leaning back against the sofa. "If we're not up all night arguin', then we're up all night… uh…." He looked up at April, who shot him a wry glance. "Actually," he added with a forced yawn, "I think I'm goin' to bed. G'night, kids."

Raphael and I muttered a goodnight back before we begrudgingly looked at one another. Raph had this weirdly contemplative look on his face, which made me uneasy. Then again, I probably didn't look much better, since he gave me a questioning glance.

"So," I finally said, "you ready to go? Sensei's probably worried about us, since he'll be due to wake us up for our morning training session in another hour or so." Raphael nodded and got up, thanking April for the chips and soda before ducking out the window.

"Call me later," April told me. "You look upset." I didn't answer for a moment, but finally nodded before going out and following after Raph.

We didn't say anything as we walked side-by-side in the sewers. The silence made my mind go back to that Foot ninja. The anonymous person that might just end up being a John Doe in tomorrow's newspaper… or maybe even a Jane Doe. Heck, you can't really tell, can you? If they had one woman in their group, then why not others? And this "Karai" looked pretty young… maybe the person I killed was a teenaged girl, still in high school. Oh God… I killed her. I….

"Donnie, whoa. What is it? What's wrong?" I hadn't realized that I had stopped in my tracks. I covered my face with my hand, trying so hard to be the proud leader who never showed fear, who never cried in front of his teammates. But let's face it. I'm not cut out for this. I can't lead my brothers out on the field. And if I'm the most likely leader and I'm not prepared, then I certainly can't expect for my brothers to be.

It seemed like Raphael kept his distance, almost like he viewed my sentimentality as a contagious disease. It wasn't until I hunched over like I was going to be sick that he came closer. I felt his hand on my shell, and I realized he was pushing me towards a corner. "If you're gonna vomit or somethin'," he told me, "do it where we ain't likely to walk."

His brusqueness seemed to ground me, and I just sunk down to my knees again. After a moment, he came around and sat in front of me, his shell against the wall. "You know," he said, "pumping me full of your crazy drugs was a dumb move, but it ain't nuthin' to cry over. So I'm guessin' somethin' happened while I was gone."

"Your astute observations astound me," I proclaimed, somehow making that embarrassing whimper sound sarcastic. I looked up at him, and even though his face was still as cold and detached as it always was, I could see something different in his eyes. It looked like the barest hint of concern.

Taking a deep breath, I finally stated, "Two of the Foot were trailing you, so I had to put them out of commission. I… there… there was an accident." I looked down after breathing out the last few words in a quick jumble.

Raphael said nothing, then asked, "Dead?" That single word is almost enough to make me feel like throwing up again, but I managed to keep it down as I responded that I didn't know. Given the position of the body, though…. A sob almost escaped my lips. I could feel Raphael's eyes focused on me. Finally, he said, "You… you killed a guy… for me?"

I'm horrified to admit that I nearly laughed. The way he sounded… it was almost flattered. It wasn't like I meant for that car to come racing down the street without stopping. It wasn't like I purposely pushed the ninja into the car's path. Heck, it wasn't even like it was my idea to be out here tonight in the first place. And yet… I couldn't deny that….

"Yeah," I answered, looking up to meet his eyes. "I don't think I'll ever be able to fight again, but tonight I killed somebody for you." He seemed absolutely aghast by the confession as he asked me why. My throat dry, I gave him a small smile. "You would've done the same for me, I'm sure. Wouldn't you?"

I saw the slow transformation come over his face as a realization seemed to dawn on him. His eyes softened, and the muscles that seemed to keep his face tensed relaxed just a little. I winced when he reached out a hand towards me, a natural reaction that comes from a childhood of brotherly abuse. Instead, he just clasped my shoulder in a firm grip. "You bet your shell on it, bro," he finally told me in a low voice.

We said nothing else for a long time before gathering ourselves up and returning silently to the lair.


Time went on, and I began to think that things fell back into some semblance of normalcy.

Of course, predicting the behavioral patterns of my brothers is a scientific impossibility. Mikey's healed rather nicely after his little rooftop adventure. We finally set up Cowabunga Carl's birthday service, and he's already complaining that children terrify him more than any of the lowlifes we've ever fought. There's still no word from Leo. Though I'm more worried than I care to admit, Sensei doesn't seem be having a bad feeling about this. He can usually sense when one of us is in trouble, so I'm betting that maybe Leo just… likes it out there. Wherever "out there" is, by this time.

As for Raph… we were doing real well for a while. A short while, but a while nonetheless. Then the newspapers started picking up on this new vigilante in town, some guy by the name of Nightwatcher or something. Raph seemed really happy about it, showing me the articles and telling me, "Look. Somebody's finally doin' somethin' about all the trash hangin' around. Wait'll this Karai chick scopes this guy out. She won't be buggin' nobody 'til she finds some way to deal with him."

I took a look at the fuzzy picture that an amateur photographer got of the wannabe superhero. With a smirk, I replied, "He looks like a medieval knight on steroids. I hardly think the Foot are even going to want to bother with some novice like that."

Okay, so apparently Raph is super-defensive of his heroes. To this day, we get into fights about this Nightwatcher character. I say he's a vigilante with even less tact than Casey who's going to end up getting himself in way over his head. Raph will slam his fist down dangerously close to my keyboard and try to convince me that Nightwatcher's an inspiration, a shining example of someone who wants to take care of the people living in this rundown city.

As time goes on, I see less and less of Raph. He sleeps all day and is way too grumpy in the evenings for us to even ask what it is he does at night. Since Sensei told me not to worry about Leo, I'm not going to worry about Raphael, either. The last time I worried about him, I ended up ruining some Foot ninja's life, if I didn't end it altogether.

I just hope Raph knows that the reason I stay out of combat isn't because I don't care. I do care. And that's why I'm staying in, taking it easy with a normal job and supporting for my family. I'm taking care of us.

The funny thing is, I think he feels that he's somehow taking care of us, too.