"Jacob grew facial hair." Edward informed me one day when I walked into the Cullens' house.

"Oh. Interesting?"

Edward snickered.

"What?" I said, feeling very self conscious, "Did I say something stupid?"

"No." Edward laughed.

I looked at myself, "Did I forget to wear pants or something?"

"No, no. My laughing didn't have anything to do with you."

"Oh." I said, "Well what were you laughing about then?"

"Jacob's facial hair." Edward snickered again.

"Is facial hair funny… or something?"

"No." Edward said seriously.

"Oh, Edward. I knew you were going to say something about that some day," Bella sat next to Edward and comforted him. " Look, just because you can't grow a mustache doesn't mean your not manly. I mean some girls think its pretty sissy when boys can't grow mustaches but I don't think it's a big deal at all."

Edward looked at me widened, and fingered at his face very nervously, "What do you mean? A cleanly shaved face isn't manly?"

"Oh… honey, no. Some boys just can't grow facial hair. It's ok. I don't think any less of you."

Edward stared at me wide-eyed.

After a very long 7 second silence, "That wasn't what you were going to say… was it?"

Edward shook his head no.

"Oh… Um…"

"Ok. Well I'm just going to pretend we didn't have that conversation." Edward closed his eyes and tried to forget it. "Well, anyways to get back to the earlier topic, Jacob grew facial hair."

"Oh." I said.

"And he shaved it in a very interesting way. Oh, speaking of the freak… he's just outside our door."

Then the doorbell rang.

Edward snickered, "Why don't you answer it, Bella?"

I shrugged and got off the couch.

The second I opened the door, my eyes froze at Jacob's jaw. He had shaved part of his facial hair, except for a few little patches. Shaped like smiley faces.

"Look! Look! Isn't that so cool!?" Jacob said excitedly

I was frozen in shock still.

"I know! I know! Speechless!" Jacob shook my shoulders and walked past me into the house, "Look who's the man now Mr. cant-grow-facial-hair!!!!" he pointed at Edward's face and laughed maniacally.

I burst out laughing hysterically.

"See!! Your own girlfriend thinks you're pathetic!!!!" Jacob laughed.

"I'm not laughing at Edward!" I said through laughter, "I'm laughing at you!"

Jacobs face became very serious, "Did I forget to wear pants again?" He looked down, and when he saw that he hadn't forgotten, his face became confused.

"But… why would you laugh at me? I'm manly. And I came up with a creative new way to style my manly facial hair…"

"No. no." I said, stifling my laughter, "You look excellent! Go show everybody in the pack! Especially Leah!"

Jacob's face lit up, "Ok!!!! See you later Bella!" And he ran out the door.

"Do you think they'll tell him he looks ridiculous?" Edward said awhile after Jacob had left.

"Leah will."

And sure enough, a few days later, Jacob, his beard shaved, showed up on our doorstep.

"You guys suck." And he turned his back and stormed away, back into the woods.


Hey guys. Just today I realized that Jacob had never had his shot at looking smart in this story. So this is your chance, Jacob fans! Fight back for your character and maybe give me some ideas in which Jacob won't be the victim for one of these chapters. So any ideas people? Tell me in a review! Thank you!

And you know the drill… please review!