I do not own Twilight :)
Before we get to the chapter I would like to thank everyone for the kind and supportive reviews you all left. It truly means a lot that so many of you look forward to reading this story and I'm sorry for being on a short hiatus but I'm back and ready to get back on track! Sometimes life just knows how to challenge and push you down but it's always my goal to push past the negative and focus on the positive :) and all of you have motivated me even more, so thank you.
The title of this chapter 'O Children' is a song by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. They're one of my favorite artists out there and this song holds a personal meaning in my heart to which I wanted to share with all of you. If you want, feel free to give it a listen to :) it also has a hidden meaning to Bella and Jasper's life in this chapter. Thank you all again for the support and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Also, I reuploaded the chapter because I got a couple of messages lately telling me that certain people get notified through email but others don't and sometimes the links don't show the chapter. I wish I could help with this but I think it might be a bug that needs fixing. Sorry about that everyone!
Chapter Eight
O Children
~Edward~
I was driving down the unusually quiet street that led to Bella's apartment as I raked my fingers through my disheveled hair, receiving flashes of the events that had taken place today.
I had no idea what the fuck happened. We had breached the apartment and took down the bastards who kidnapped the girls without much trouble. The entire time Bella was in there with those pigs I tried to keep my cool as I listened to the vile comments they were making to the crying women and towards her. How that fucker Caius talked to my Bella. I wanted to bust in there as soon as he said he would come back for her but Cullen didn't let me. He said that we needed to wait until Bella said the word to give us the signal. If we breached now before receiving the signal we might risk endangering both Bella and the girls' lives. I knew he was right but damn it, it was the worst thing in the world to have to wait. Even Jasper looked like he was about to go ape shit on Diego if he said a single word about Bella—or anything for that matter. All of us were tense but I felt Jasper's anxiety from a mile away and it only made me worry more for her.
When I heard the girls screaming and Caius pull Bella out of the room she was in, I wanted to move. I did until Cullen stopped me.
"Masen, stand down and wait for the signal." I was gradually losing it as I wanted to challenge Sergeant Cullen's authority by looking at him like he was crazy but I knew he was right. If we went in now before she said the word, they would know something was up. Maybe even jeopardize Bella and the victim's safety. I couldn't forget that this was my job and keeping Bella safe was one of them. I cursed under my breath as we gradually moved into the building, up the stairs and to the fifth floor where we could hear voices and women crying. Jasper was in front of me and we all stacked up right as Bella said the word.
"Meyer!"
Emmett breached the door and moved in with the team. We moved in, ordering the suspects to put their hands in the air just as they moved to grab their guns. I saw Jasper moving towards the hallway to look for Bella and Caius with Emmett and Clearwater watching his back. Rosalie and I arrested the rest of the suspects and evacuated the women from the room they were being kept in. After we led the women out into the living room I told Cullen I was going to look for Whitlock and Bella. I was at the door where I had seen him enter when I stopped as I heard him speak.
"...No matter how much you hit him—it'll never be enough. This man isn't James, Bella. Let this son of a bitch pay for what he's done. If you kill him. He gets the easy way out."
I stood at the door and looked at the scene before me where Jasper helped Bella up from where she stood over that mother fucker Caius who was barley lucid from the looks of it from the beating he took. If it was given to him by Whitlock or Bella—I couldn't tell the difference if I was being honest. But what the hell did he mean by that? Who was James? What the fuck did the bastard do to hurt my Bella?
I was about to speak up when Jasper and I both noticed that Caius was starting to stand up, pulling out a gun from the back of his jacket, ready to shoot at Bella from behind. Like hell I was going to let that happen so I reacted in the blink of an eye—as if it were instinct. As if my mind and body took over for that split second before I could register what I was doing. I only saw Bella inscrutably taking over my mind in a way only she could.
I shot Caius right in the chest before he could aim and he fell back down against the carpet in a loud deafening thud. Jasper had seen me and ducked down in time but Bella thought he had been shot so she ran over to him. I stood there and looked to Cullen where he looked like he was about to run over but I told him we were okay. His sudden alarm seemed to have shaken his usual professionalism whenever on a mission but I didn't take time to analyze him when I looked back towards Bella's gaze.
Then that's when I saw her standing there, looking at me in complete shock. I clenched my fists at the sight of my beautiful Bella with bruises forming on her forehead and her delicate hands were red around the knuckles and they were trembling uncontrollably. I wanted nothing more than to run to her and hold her in my arms. Tell her that she was safe now—but nothing came out as I remembered what Whitlock said. I wanted to know what had happened and I felt like a piece of shit for not saying anything to her when she looked at me with shamefilled eyes. As if she had done something wrong and not the other way around. I looked at her as she avoided looking into my eyes and walked away towards the living room of the apartment.
Instead of speaking up, I could only stare at her like the dumb ass that I was and couldn't bring myself to say anything. I'd never seen Bella like this before. It was like she was a different person and I had no idea how to comfort her, if I should embrace her—if she would want me to be near her at all. Forlorn and angry. Her beautiful brown eyes that I loved so much were filled to the brim with tears that she didn't want to shed. What the fuck had she gone through in the past? And what did this James character do to her?
After everything was done and the girls were questioned, they were placed under witness protection to make sure none of Caius's associates tried to get their hands on them until all those scumbags were locked up for life. When we finished I looked for Bella to make sure she was alright. To talk to her about what happened but she wasn't anywhere in Intelligence. I needed to see her, to tell her that I wasn't going anywhere no matter what she may have gone through.
"Jasper took her home about an hour ago. You were still getting Carmen's statement when they left." I heard Rosalie say, standing behind me in the hallway and Emmett standing by the door waiting for her with a back pack over his shoulder. I raked my hand through my hair.
"I see. I'll go check on her tomorrow then." I said as I turned around to head out when Rosalie called out to me and patted me on the shoulder.
"Masen, I've known Bella and Jasper for a long time and if there's one thing I know, it's that they don't open up to people easily. Trust is really hard to obtain from them. That being said, I know how attached and comfortable she is with you. If you want to see her I think that would be the best thing to do. She might deny it but needs you. So don't go thinking that she needs 'space' or whatever it is you guys think it is. Because that's a load of bullshit." She grins.
"Thanks, Rose." I said as she nodded and walked away towards a smiling Emmett.
"Oh, and if you ever hurt her," she looks over her shoulder, "Jasper will be the least of your worries. I happen to know my way around with pliers."
I stared blankly at her as she winked at me which was so out of character, I wasn't sure if I should believe her or not. While Emmett wore a confident grin on his face before walking out, trying not to laugh loudly like he normally does.
Now, I was currently parked across the street of Bella's apartment complex—thinking about her. If she needed me right now like I seemed to always need her. If she would even want to see me after the day she had. I scrubbed my face with my hands, gathering the courage to convince myself that no matter how tonight would end—I would without a doubt let Bella know how much I loved her. I didn't know what to think but I knew I felt so empty without her. I wanted Bella to rely on me, to trust that I would always be there for her but what if she didn't want me to?
I called her and texted her but she didn't answer so I only grew more and more worried. I thought she might be sleeping but after the night we had, I doubted it. I turned the engine off and stepped out of the Volvo, walking across the street to the building. While I did I felt really fucking nervous as I thought about what Bella's reaction would be.
Get it together Masen.
I had to stop acting like a scared punk ass and get it together. I walked through the hallway to ring the doorbell to Bella's apartment. Bella opened the door almost instantly, looking at me with wide eyes that shined and I knew she had been crying. I couldn't help but let my eyes trace over her appearance. The bruise that formed on the corner of her forehead—prominent hues of black and purple were making themselves visible compared to a few hours ago and her hands were wrapped around the knuckles with bandages. I wanted to punch a wall to feel the same amount of pain that she must be feeling now.
"Can I come in? Please?" I asked her and I was sure she could detect the amount of need in my voice but I couldn't afford to care how much of a pussy I sounded like right now.
She hesitated for a moment before she stepped back and let me in. She turned her back to me as she closed the door behind us before she leaned against the door and I simply stood there, looking at the girl I loved as she suffered in silence. Not being able to resist, I slowly raised my hand up to lightly caress her cheek and relish the way she leans into my touch. She told me not to try to comfort her with tears in her eyes but how could I not when she looks as fragile as crystal, about to shatter at any moment if I wasn't too careful.
I pulled her to me and held her to my chest as gently as I could without hurting her sore body and ran my fingers through her long hair. Bella in return grabbed onto my shirt and I knew she was crying as I felt her shoulders shake. We stood there in complete silence as I embraced my angel with every ounce of love that I could give her. I felt her tense up after a moment most likely due to the exhaustion that was coming over her and picked her up to carry her to the bedroom. I sat her on my lap, neither one of us wanting to be out of each other's arms as we kept holding on and we remained in a comfortable silence as I let her cry until there were no more tears left.
"I...I need to tell you something." I hear her delicate voice say when she collected herself and looked up at me with doleful eyes.
"I know." I whispered as I ran my thumb over a single tear that rolled down her cheek and kissed the top of her head. Bella bit her lip nervously as she took a moment before speaking.
"But...If I tell you...you won't want to be with me anymore." She looks down, hoping to hide from me but I wouldn't let her.
"How can you think that? Isabella look at me," I said as I lifted her chin up and she looked at me with frightened eyes that made my heart feel like breaking. I stared at her in all seriousness as I spoke.
"Listen to me—nothing could ever change how I feel about you. I'm not going anywhere even if you push me away. I want to protect you as much as I possibly can, even though I failed to this time," I said with frustration towards my inability to keep my partner and girlfriend safe to which Bella places her hands on my shoulders and shakes her head lightly. Obviously not wanting me to feel this way as she calms me down with her unparalleled kindness. I hold her hands in mine and look into her dark expressive orbs. "So, I swear I won't ever let anything like this happen again—even if that means protecting you from yourself because I love you so much Bella."
She tightened her grip on my hands, ignoring the way they were stinging from the pressure she was putting on them. I kissed away a stray tear that rolled down her cheek and let my lips linger on her warm skin before I sat back and took her hands, rubbing soothing circles to ease her pain.
"I'm scared about what you may think, Edward. I've been avoiding telling you about my past and I wanted to keep it that way, you have no idea how badly I wanted to keep this burdenaway from you. I didn't want you to see how horrible I looked back there but when Caius grabbed me the way he did, I couldn't help it, and I reacted. I couldn't control my anger and fear and the last thing I wanted was for you to see me like that. I'm sorry..." She says and I could see all the emotions she was going through in her eyes as they flashed by one after another. Anger, frustration, hesitation, and sadness all in one.
"Don't be—Bella you were fighting for your life against an animal. You saved those girls and most importantly you survived so that you could be safe again." I said to make her let go of her guilt. I knew perfectly well how it felt to place blame onto yourself after so many tours to Afghanistan and all the things I saw and had to do to survive. There are things that will haunt me for the rest of my life but I can't live at all if I let regret and anger consume me—so I learned to let it go. Although some days are harder than others.
"But...I don't want to hide anymore. I know that keeping things from you isn't easy and the more I let myself care about you—the harder it is. I love you and that's why it makes telling you all this so daunting."
She leaned her forehead against my chest for support and I held her hands in mine, being careful not to hurt them as I waited for her to continue speaking.
"But I can't be with you completely if I don't tell you everything. I know that now," she said as she looked into my eyes before taking a deep breath, as if giving herself courage. I instantly grew stiff as she parted her lips to speak.
"I told you that Jasper and I had been taken in by Esme when we were still in the system, but before Esme and her husband adopted us, we were put into another home just after I turned 14 and Jasper was 16 at the time. We were placed with a well off family of three who lived in upstate New York. The Alistair's. Aro Alistair, his wife, and...their son James." She said as her voice trembled she she said that name.
James. The fucker Jasper mentioned. I felt my stomach roll from what I was already imagining. I hoped to god it wasn't what I thought it was that happened to my Bella. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her tighter to me, wanting to feel her and tell her that I was here.
"Mrs. Alistair was nice to us from the very beginning. She and Aro actually seemed like they wanted to take us in and not in it for the money like the previous families we went to in the past. Jasper and I were given more than we thought we would have by them; random gifts, a bedroom, enrolled in a good school, you name it. They treated us right, as if we were their biological children. We got to stay in a bedroom that actually belonged to us and that alone made us feel like we could stay, permanently, which was very difficult for us over the years. They gave us the option to stay in separate rooms even, but I think, being even two rooms down from each other was considered too much for Jasper and me so we insisted on staying in the same room. For a time we felt like we actually belonged somewhere. It seems foolish now that I think about it." She shook her head lightly as a bitter smile appeared on her lips.
"After a couple of weeks, Aro started rubbing me the wrong way from the beginning so I tried to keep my distance, thinking it was all in my head at the time. Other than that it felt like we could somehow be in a stable place for once. We wanted to believe that, so we didn't want to ruin anything and get sent back into the system and risk getting separated. That was when their son...James came home after being kicked out of college for having drugs in his dorm room. He was was older than me by five years but there was something in his eyes that scared me. We thought he would be just as nice as his mother or distant like his father but—we were wrong."
"James started picking at everything Jasper did or didn't do whenever he got the chance. Always calling him names and pushing him around. We thought that maybe it was jealousy at first so Jasper tried to just ignore him as best he could. James always just looked at me from afar but he never said much if he didn't have to. He simply ignored me for a while, when we were with his parents. Whenever his parents were around he was like a different person, I guess he needed to be if he wanted to get everything he asked for from them."
"One day when Aro's wife went out of town for a conference at work, everything seemed to change. Aro and James quickly became very intolerant of us. They started telling us to clean after them or cook for them. Anything to make us work, saying that this was how we could pay for being taken into such a great home. " I shook my head as I listened, not being able to understand why such people want to be parents if they treat children this way. I could feel Bella's breathing strain as she got more into telling me of her past.
"That's when James started messing with me. He always made me feel bad for being clumsy or for the way I was so awkward as a child and it wasn't that I didn't know it but it started building up and eventually making me self conscious about everything I did. Even the way I dressed and looked was a problem. The things he said...they get in your head and it was like a poison—it manifested and spread overtime. I started getting anxious whenever he walked into the room and even if he just looked at me, I got so nervous, even getting out of bed in the morning made me anxious because I knew that I would have to see him again. People like James know what to say to get in someone's head and he did it to me." She wiped away her tears harshly with her hand.
"Jasper's patience finally ran short when James pushed him too far by calling me a teasing bitch. Jasper snapped and punched him right in the jaw to defend me. It didn't sit well with James at all and they went at it on the driveway until Aro ran out and broke it up. They both looked pretty roughed up but something had changed in that moment. Something in James changed. He started being more aggressive, agitated with every little thing, randomly taking his anger out by slamming the doors or shoving Jasper every chance he got. Then one day when I was in the kitchen cooking and Jasper was outside cleaning the porch, James snuck up behind me and knocked a glass down, breaking it. He told me to clean it up so I did—just to avoid another problem. When I bent down to pick up the shards, he...he grabbed my thighs while he whispered vile things into my ear. What he wanted to do to me...and how he would make me do it."
I tried my best to control my gradual anger at the abuse Bella and Jasper had been put through because of these people. My disgust towards James grew even more as I found it difficult to breath. Sensing my uneasiness, Bella looked up at me with concern and rested her head on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me. As if I was the one who needed to be comforted.
You're so pathetic, Masen.
I composed myself quickly and placed another kiss on her head to let her continue. She took a deep breath and leaned into me once more for support
"I didn't tell Jasper what James had done. I was scared that another fight would end up bringing someone from foster care to take him away and separate us, so I kept quiet. I tried to protect him as best as I could. The harassment kept going on and off, never in front of Aro or Jasper because James probably knew what would happen if anyone saw. There were times when it was just his hand skimming over my thighs or back and then times when he would yank my hair and tell me things again. There was only one other time that I had the courage to push him away when he tried to lift my skirt up. I told him to stay away from me if he didn't want me to tell Aro about what he was doing but I realized he didn't really care a lot about what his father thought of him when he punched me in the face so hard that I fell back and hit my head against the counter." I could feel her trembling around my arms.
"The next thing I knew I was being woken up off of the kitchen floor with a splitting headache and Jasper scared out of his mind as he tired to help me. I noticed that he also had a swollen lip so I knew right away that he got into another fight with James because of me. I knew there was no hiding anymore, especially not when he could clearly see the bruises on my face. I finally gathered the courage to tell him about what happened and we both agreed to tell Aro but that too ended up backfiring when he blamed me for seducing his son and that I deserved to be put in my place. This angered Jasper to no end but I told him it wasn't worth getting into another fight over. After that we agreed that once Aro and James weren't around we would call child protective services to get out of there. We had already made the plan to call the next night when they would be busy watching the football game to even realize what we were trying to do. James and his father were drinking a lot and kept getting louder and louder whenever they yelled at the tv while Jazz and I were holed up in our room. We could hear them getting riled up, and we knew they were both drinking but we tried to ignore them as best we could. Then that was when it happened," she shook her head as if she was trying to fight off the vulnerablility the memories she was reliving were causing her. I hated seeing her in pain and frustrated and as much as I wanted to know what happened, I didn't want her to be affected to this extent.
"It's okay, take your time. If you can't talk anymore then we can stop, Bella." She shook her head at me with tears in her eyes.
"No, I need to tell you if not I don't think I'll be able to relive this all over again. I want to tell you everything." I nodded in understanding.
"It was the middle of November and the house that the Alistair's had was out of the city, somewhere in a rich part of the country side I guess. So while I made the call to CPS, Jasper kept an ear out in case anyone tried to walk in. A little after I made the call we noticed that it had gone quiet downstairs, Aro's friends went home and before we knew it James walked in. He yelled at us about something stupid, after he stumbled into the room, too drunk or high out of his mind to recognize that he was losing it. Jasper told him to leave before things got worse but James looked at him with these eyes and before I knew it he shoved Jasper onto the floor and started beating him like a punching bag."
"I stood up from the bed and ran over to get him to stop before he ended up killing Jasper but it was no use. He turned to look at me and shoved me away before he continued punching Jasper. I stood up again and pushed him as hard as I could to get him off, making James stumble off of him but just barely. I told him to leave the room and went over to make sure Jasper was alright. He was bleeding a lot from the mouth and his eye was getting swollen shut from the punches he took but he was still conscious. Then I felt something grab me by the hair and pull me up from the floor." I clenched my fists as her voice wavered and I saw the tears that fell from her cheeks onto my arm.
"He punched me in the stomach and I fell to the ground where he continued kicking me until he got tired. After that he shoved me onto the bed. I'll never forget the look in his eyes when he crawled on top of me. It was like...they were dead—evilshe said as she looked at me with anger as tears rolled down her pale cheeks. "I'll never forget those eyes. I still can't, god knows I've tried but it's like...he follows me ever since that day. In my mind, my dreams, and even when I'm awake he never stops," she pauses as she waves her hand around her head, trying to show me what she was feeling which only made my heart ache for her. "I can't get him out of my mind. I can't escape him. I see him everywhere and I know it wasn't him but when Caius grabbed me and said he was going to kill me—I swear I thought it was Him."
She shut her eyes as more tears streamed down her face like an endless river and she tried to contain a sob by covering her mouth with her hand. She sniffles as she wiped away the tears with anger. I embraced her as tight as I could, as I stared out her bedroom window with an immeasurable amount of hatred for that bastard for laying hands on Bella. I knew I needed to calm down before I ended up breaking everything in the apartment but it seemed like the only one keeping me at bay was Bella herself.
"No one had ever hit me as hard as James hit me. No one had ever grabbed me that way before so I just...froze. I could have shoved him off when he threw himself on me, looking back on it now but I just froze. I was so scared for myself but more than anything I was scared of what James would do to Jasper too."
"He started kissing me on my neck and he grabbed me roughly and all I could do was stare at Jasper on the floor with blood running down his face. Then I remembered that Aro was downstairs and as if a wave passed over me, I started screaming for Aro to help us. James slapped me to shut me up but I started kicking and screaming as hard as I could until Aro opened the door and walked in. Jasper was able to just barely sit up and I thought that maybe we would be safe but Aro just started laughing. He was just as disgusting as his son."
Oh, god no. I closed my eyes as I tried to hold back tears from my own frustration. What the fuck had Bella been put through? Even Jasper?
"Aro said that when his son was done with me to clean up the mess before his wife would get home and closed the door. I cried and begged for him to get off but James didn't care. He kept groping me and he started pulling my pants down to do...you know." She said hesitantly.
"...Did he?" I couldn't help but have a knot in my throat as I asked. She turned around in my arms and looked at me with downcast eyes.
"No. He didn't get the chance to get any further than that."
I instantly breathed a sigh of relief that I had been keeping in my lungs all night long.
"When he moved to take his pants off, Jasper yelled for him to get off of me and tackled him to the ground. They started fighting and I pulled myself up and cried for James to stop. Jasper looked at me when James started kicking him in the stomach and told me to go. I didn't want to but Jasper was so concerned to get me safe that he yelled at me to leave. So I did."
"I ran down the stairs and headed for the door but Aro grabbed at my jacket. He was too drunk so when I slipped out of it but he went tumbling down with my jacket in his hands and we both fell down to the bottom of the stairs. I banged up my head against the tiles and my whole body was sore but I managed to drag myself up and made it out through the backdoor. I ran through the woods in the snow...barefoot and in my pajamas. I could hear James and Aro yelling for me but I didn't stop. I just wanted to get Jasper help. I was scared that leaving him behind...would have ended up killing him because of me. I never felt so desperate to find help like did in that moment..." she tried to hold back another sob as I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the tears that formed in my eyes.
"I ran until my feet went numb and eventually I stumbled into a street just as a car was driving by. It came to a sudden stop and when I opened my eyes a man and a woman were getting out of it. Running over to me to see if I was alright. It was Esme and her husband who found me that night. They saved us."
"I told them what happened and I took them to where the house was. Esme called an ambulance and the police before her husband jumped out of the car while I wanted to do the same to run in there but he said no and promised me that he would get Jasper out. He pulled out a gun from the trunk of his car and ran into the house. Esme gave me her jacket and she held my hands, told me that I could trust them to save Jasper. After everything that happened a word like 'trust' was completely forsaken at that point but I wanted to believe that Jasper would be alright. A couple of minutes passed by and we heard a gun shot ring out from the house. I couldn't take it anymore and I ran out of the car towards the house. Before I could get in, Jasper was being carried out by him. He was unconscious and his face was so bloody and swollen I honestly thought they killed him. I held him in my arms until the cops and the ambulance showed up and took us to the hospital. Jasper was in worse condition than when I left him so they took him into surgery and I had to stay in the waiting room for him with Esme. I told them to go but they insisted on staying. After a while, the doctor came out telling me that Jasper had been in really bad shape; he had a broken cheekbone, fractured nose, and all his ribs on the right side had been broken, it was a miracle that his lung didn't completely collapse when we brought him to the hospital."
"I had bruises all over my body and a fractured wrist with a concussion from the fall I took so I was also being treated. We both ended up staying in the hospital for a while as a result. When I woke again, Esme had told me that her husband and his team caught Aro, shot him in the hip, rendering him immobile but that James was nowhere to be found. They kept looking for him but it was like he vanished. We think his dad helped hide him before the police went and arrested him. He might be out of the country now for all I know. I found out later on that Esme's husband was in the police force and that was why he took off without hesitation to save Jasper the way he did. It was thanks to him that at least Aro was locked up with a class 3 felony."
"You adoptive father was a cop?" I asked.
"No," she answered hesitantly as she looked up at me with lament in her eyes. "...He's a Sergeant."
"A Sergeant? What-" then that's when it dawned on me. I looked down at her and she averted her eyes. "Sergeant Cullen? He's your adoptive father?"
She runs her hands through her hair as she sighs.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, Edward. I just didn't want you to think that Jasper and I were getting off easy because a Sergeant was our adoptive father. It was a rule we all agreed to when he asked us to go upstairs to work for him." I hadn't expected that at all. I thought that Cullen was just looking out for Whitlock and Bella since they were the youngest out of the entire team but I didn't think he had been their adoptive father. It makes sense now that I think back on how overprotective he was, Clearwater warning me to not engage in a relationship with Bella. I looked down and saw Bella nervously bit her lip. I placed my thumb under her chin and lifted her face up to look at me.
"Baby, that could never change how I feel about you nor would it change how much I love you. Cullen could be your great grandfather—it still wouldn't change anything," she tried not to smile at that. "I'm just so glad that you're here in my arms now." I said as I held her to me and she wrapped her arms around my neck and I could feel my shirt gradually getting damp from the tears she had been keeping inside for so long. As much as I loved being with her and comforting her this way, one thought was sure to never leave my mind.
He's still out there. That fucker was still out there living his life while Bella still suffers because of what he did. The son of a bitch was dead if I ever laid eyes on him, and that wasn't a promise.
"Then that was when you and Jasper got adopted by the Cullen's?"
She nodded, "Esme never left my side in the hospital. She even arranged for the doctors to put me in the same room as Jasper so that we could be together. At first it was strange—this kind, beautiful woman was just so loving and accepting of us and she didn't even know who we were. It was a strange feeling, for the both of us. We'd never really met anyone quite like Esme. Jasper was just as surprised and withdrawn as I was when he finally woke up after a couple of days but when Carlisle showed up again with news that Aro had been caught—I could see Jasper's admiration grow for him. They really were amazing. So when they told us that they wanted to take us in, we didn't know how to react but over time after being so guarded we started realizing that they truly were good people with compassionate hearts. They were our heroes and they still are. We could never repay them for saving us and taking us in but most of all their love and compassion was what truly kept us going." She let two more tears fall from her chocolate pools but this time I could see that they were tears of pure gratitude and love. I cupped her face in my hand and she leaned into it.
"I'm glad they did." I saw hesitation in her eyes.
"What is it, love?"
She bit her lip before she spoke, "I told you about my past...and what James did—what he almost did if Jasper hadn't stopped him. It's mainly because of him that I-"
"You haven't had sex." I finished for her, understanding and knowing full well why she had reacted so intensely to my touch when I teased her until she reached her first orgasm. She blushed at my statement and nodded as she kept her head down.
"That still doesn't bother you? You don't see me differently?" I heard her ask me.
I couldn't help but smile at Bella's rare foolishness. I place my hand under her chin and lift her face to look up at me to see so much worry in her eyes,"Bother me? Never. Bella, you have a right to choose to be with whoever you want to be. Although I hate what that bastard did to you, I'm glad that I'm the one who gets to make you feel things that you haven't before. I see you as an incredible strong woman who fought and survived through so much hardship only to become a pure, caring, and selfless cop. Bella you're strength surprises me more and more as time goes by."
She shook her head, not believing me, "Edward...Are you sure you want to be with someone like me? There's still a lot about me that's-"
"You are everything to me Bella. There's no changing it, that's how I feel about you and I don't plan on ever changing them."
That seemed to shake her, as she didn't expect me to say something like that but I meant it. I felt it everytime Bella was in the same room as me, everytime she touched me with her delicate fingers, and everytime we kissed. It was a feeling I knew I would never grow tired of experiencing. I would never tire of hearing her gentle yet strong voice say my name, or the way she blushed the way I loved so much. It was an endless feeling I knew in my heart that I never wanted to rid myself of.
"I used to not be able to stand being in a room with a man alone, apart from from Jasper after all that happened but over the years I tried to get over it. I tried to get away from the memories I had and I tried dating a couple of times but evertime they tried to kiss me or touch me...it just didn't feel right. And then I would see his face and I couldn't do it. That was mainly why guys broke up with me—because I was so incapable. But with you, things were completely different, Edward. I don't know why and I can't explain it but I never once hated the way you kissed me or touched me—you actually make me want to..you know." She blushed as she confessed what I had been dying to hear for a long time now.
I nodded as I understood what she meant but was I a selfish bastard for being slightly happy that she didn't end up losing her virginity to some scumbag?
"I know trust is hard for you and I know that I need to prove myself even more before you can fully rely on me but I want you Bella. Not just intimately, because well, I'm pretty sure that's more than obvious by now," she bit her lip as she looked at me, "I love you Bella and I swear I will never hurt you. I will understand you and accept any and every part of you just as you've accepted me. So if I ever do hurt you, you have my permission to send Whitlock to beat me bloody."
She finally let out an airy giggle at my somewhat joking statement however, I meant it. She ran her hand through her hair, pulling it back to let it fall back down in waves to frame her face as she leaned her head against my shoulder.
"I love you too, Edward. Thank you for choosing to understand me." She said as she looked up at me as I wrapped my arms around her waist. I gazed into her innocent eyes and trailed down to her plump lips. Seeing what I was yearning to do, Bella inches her face upwards and begins closing her eyes as I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers. It wasn't rushed or filled with passion like the other kisses we'd shared before—this kiss was gentle and loving and warmer than any we've had before. I cupped her face in my hands as I slowly pecked and traced her lips with mine, breathing in her sweet scent. I felt the tip of her tongue lick my bottom lip, urging me to open my mouth. My tongue caressed her until I heard her moan into my mouth and as much as I wanted to continue, I didn't want to betray my words and make Bella feel like we needed to rush into anything. That wasn't what this kiss was about. I deepened our kiss for a quick moment until I felt her breathing hitch, needing to release for air and I finally released her lips from my custody.
I opened my eyes to see that she was flushed as she hadn't opened her eyes yet and found it to be the most beautiful sight ever. A mere kiss, my kiss, was enough to make her look completely relaxed and loved and it did things to me. When she opened her eyes she caught me staring and blushed even harder. I grinned and pushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.
"We're blushing now, are we?"
She tried not to smile as she rested her head in the crook of my neck, allowing me to hold her as I laid us down in the comfort of her bed. I was about to ease out of bed to give her the space she needed when she held me tight, causing me to look down at her. She looked at me sheepishly as she whispered sweet words I wanted to hear.
"Can you stay with me? If-if you don't want to then that's fine-" I stopped her silly hesitation by laying back down next to her and bringing her to rest her head against my chest.
"I'll stay for as long as you'd like. Get some rest now, baby."
I heard her chuckle lightly as she hugged me and I heard her whisper into my ear, "I love you, Edward."
I smiled as I soothed her with sweet words and caressing her hair gently until Bella fell asleep in my arms. Feeling every strand under my fingertips as I began lulling into a peaceful sleep, knowing that nothing. Not James. And not anyone would ever hurt Bella again for as long as I'm breathing.
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