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Chapter Eight: The Bonfire Part One
"Bella, your leg is shaking...Bella? Bella!" Alex flipped the volume on the stereo up to full and I slammed on the breaks.
"Alex, what the hell?" I yelled. She shot me a look of exasperation.
"You haven't said a word since we pulled out of your drive way, I just know you're over-thinking this."
"I'm not over-thinking anything," I retorted. I just realised that the last time I was in La Push was at a bonfire, with the same people, it's like I hit pause on my life and now I'm resuming," I explained.
"...And that's not over-thinking. Right.."
"Shut up, Alexandria." She narrowed her eyes at me in annoyance.
"Okay, tell me why you're so worried, what are these people like?"
"They're amazing," I said, smiling wistfully. "But I let them down, and that's why I'm worried."
"You think they won't accept you back?" she asked, "After meeting Embry and Seth, I can't really see that happening."
"Kind of, but more than anything, I'm afraid they will. I deserve to be yelled at, frozen out. I left without saying goodbye," I said, feeling a lump form in my throat as I thought of everyone I left behind.
"Tell me about them," she said, and I could tell it was more for my benefit than hers. I sighed as I began.
"There was thirteen of their, um, group when I left, including the guys and some of their girlfriends. The group's always expanding." I could see Alex's confused frown from the corner of my vision. "The tribe's really close knit, so a lot of the young people hang out together and are encouraged by the council of elders to help out around the res," I lied. It was something I'd heard Sam tell outsiders before and decided that keeping their explanation was probably for the best.
"How about some names?" Alex asked. She was trying to calm me down by having me concentrate. I was surprised to find it was working and started in order.
"Let's see, there's Sam and his, uh, fiancee, Emily. They're the oldest and kind of the mom and dad of the group. Sam used to organise their activities but Jake took over just before I left," I supplied. I was partly true. Jacob had come to me in the night, almost twitching with excitement that Sam had asked him to consider taking over the Alpha role. I remembered the look in his eyes when he told me that, with me by his side, he felt strong enough to shoulder the responsibility. I tried not to think about how he did all those months he was alone.
"Sam was kind of indifferent to me at first, but once I met Emily, and she and I became friends, he warmed up to me a lot," I recalled, Alex nodded as she watched the scenery go by.
"It's so green out here. It's beautiful," she mused.
"It really is," I replied, just as I caught a flash of fur moving along the tree line. Someone was making sure we got there safely. I smiled. "Then there's Jared and Kim, they're your ultimate young couple in love," I explained. "Jared's really fun, quite sarcastic, and Kim's a sweetheart, but she kind of tends to blurt out the truth a lot. She has no filter," I laughed.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, there was this one time, we were all at the beach and the girls were talking about swimwear. You know, bikinis, styles, shapes, girl stuff. Somehow, that conversation turned to underwear, and Kim volunteers that Jared had worn her panties to the last tribal meeting," I laughed. "I thought back seeing her that night and she couldn't stop snickering, her face was practically purple. Jared couldn't believe she'd told everyone since he'd hid it so well and stormed off," I laughed.
"Sounds like a sweet couple," Alex commented, grinning, and I nodded in agreement, encouraged to tell her more about my friends.
"Then there's Paul. It took a long time for Paul and I to become friends. It was actually just because I helped him win a bet against Jared and Embry that he warmed to me. The guys were trying to fleece him out of fifty bucks, until I called them out on it. He was like an amazing big brother after that. He's an asshole most of the time, but he's dating Jacob's sister now so I'm sure she keeps him on a tight leash," I mused. I realised I was curious to see the dynamics of Rachel and Paul's relationship, since I'd bailed too early to see it develop. Rachel had a strong personality, and I was wondering if it had dominated Paul's or they simply butted heads.
"You've met Embry, I guess, and Jake," I said, counting off the wolves in order of phasing in my head. "I don't want you to judge Jacob simply on how he was in New York. He's not like that at all," I bargained.
"He did seem kind of... stoic?" she replied choosing her words carefully. I nodded in acknowledgement.
"Part of that is to do with the job he took over. He has to be the grown-up a lot in a group of kids, but you know as well as I do that it's mostly to do with me," I supplied, sadly.
"Well, tell me the Jacob you knew." I grinned at the opportunity.
"My Jake is the funniest person I've ever met. Back when I couldn't muster the energy to so much as smile at anyone, he had me doubled over in laughter," I smiled, recalling the numerous laughing fits we'd endured. "He's patient as hell, and he can fix anything. I mean anything, and if he doesn't know how, he won't stop until he learns it," I said. I knew Alex didn't quite get my double meaning. "He's fiercely protective too. If someone so much as looks at a person he loves the wrong way, he'll do something about it. He's developed a slight temper since he got older, but he's got amazing self-control," I said, thinking of how impressed the pack was at Jacob's hold on his wolf abilities. "He's got a smile that lights up a room. I mean it, if I was ever feeling shitty, all Jacob had to do was crack a joke and smile at me and BAM! Butterflies in my stomach. I don't think he even realises the effect he has on women, which makes him all the more endearing." Alex smiled at what was probably a dreamy look on my face. "What is it?"
"Nothing, it's just...you look different when you talk about him. Like you've got this light inside of you. It glows," she explained. I was a little surprised she was speaking so candidly – Alex was usually all jokes and teasing when it came to relationships. I nodded at her observations.
"That's Jacob. He was my light and my sunshine, I think he always will be. I guess after all this time he still makes me glow," I said softly.
"Then why won't you fight for him?"
"Because it's a fight I'll never win, and it would take me down with it," I said, thinking of Leah and how destroyed she was in the aftermath of Sam. "I know when I'm beaten." Alex sighed, still not understanding but respecting my decision.
"So you're moving on?" she smiled softly.
"Moving on."
My heart lurched as I made the turn to park by the beach. I picked up the box of cupcakes I'd brought – store-bought, since I didn't have time to bake- and took a deep breath.
The rest of our drive had consisted of me informing Alex of the other members of the pack.
Somewhere along the way, we'd come to the conclusion that if I was going to truly move on with Josh, I'd have to get some closure with Jake. I was still feeling guilty over leaving him (and possibly being the cause of his imprint, but I wasn't going to tell anyone that), so I was going to get him alone, tonight, and apologise.
I kicked the door of my truck closed and reorganised the box in my hands. Just as we stepped on to the sand, a shadow fell over me, and I squinted in the low torch light to make out who it was.
"You know, the whole point of escaping from somewhere usually means you don't come strolling back whenever you feel like it."
"Leah Clearwater, as I live and breathe. You're still sweetness and light, as always," I said, confident that Leah was one person who was in my corner.
"And you've lost the stutter," she smiled.
"Uh, that was actually just around you. You were a scary bitch, you know."
"Still am," she said proudly." But I don't think I need to waste my talents on you anymore, Swan."
"Aren't I relieved," I muttered. Leah turned to Alex.
"Well, Red, you must be Alex, the girl that's got Embry's panties in a twist. Nice to meet you," she said, as if she didn't know. Alex smiled brightly in return.
"Nice to meet you too, although suddenly I wish I'd worn heels," she joked, kicking out her biker boot before turning back to me. "Seriously, did we shrink a foot on the flight over or what?" I could only laugh at her confused face.
"Nah, not all the girls are like that here, Leah's just special," I supplied. Leah snorted.
"You make it sound like I've got some sort of disability," she laughed.
"Some people would argue that hanging out with Paul Lahote should come with some sort of government benefit..." I deadpanned.
"Touché, Swan, touché." She smirked. "Speak of the devil..."
"Cupcakes? Man, I thought I smelled Bella," Paul announced.
"Hello to you too, Paul. How you been?" I asked, smiling as he took the box from me, tore off one side and crammed a full cupcake in his mouth. He swallowed before winking at me and answering.
"Missing you, pale-face," he joked. Hmmm what's he up to?
"That's funny, last time I saw you, you told me to 'turn my Cullen-loving ass around and don't stink up your Res again,'" I quoted, and he smiled bashfully. Paul had taken it particularly badly when he heard I was leaving. It wasn't often that Paul changed his mind about someone and let them into his life – I was one of the privileged few and he'd taken it as a personal slight that I'd abandoned his pack. He had shown up to my house, wanting to talk and apologised that his own imprint had broken up Jake and I. When he saw he couldn't change my mind, he'd lashed out.
"I said that, huh? Oh well, I kinda thought you were shacking up with your ex, sorry," he muttered.
"It's fine," I said dismissively. "Look, Paul, no Cullens." I waved my arm around in the direction of Alex who was trying really hard not to stare at him. He noticed her for the first time.
"Hey it's Embry's chick. I'm so glad he finally hit puberty and discovered girls," he joked, and Leah snickered loudly. Alex's jaw gaped before she answered.
"Okay, has he told everyone about me or something? I feel like I'm in middle school," she frowned. I could tell she was getting slightly peeved and I tried to diffuse her frustrations.
"Sorry, Alex, but everyone here's pretty close, and word travels fast. I'm sure Em didn't mean for everyone to find out," I appeased. I looked to Paul and Leah and raised my eyebrows, hinting at them to agree.
"Definitely, actually I practically beat it out of him," Leah offered.
"I helped," Paul lied. "We knew something was different when he kept doing that weird blushing thing like Bella." As if on cue, my cheeks reddened at the mention of my embarrassing compulsion. Paul laughed and pointed. "See? She still does it. You're like a fucking Disney cartoon." I swatted his pointer finger away as Alex laughed behind her hand.
We came to the edge of a gradual slope and the bonfire came into view. It was larger than any one I'd seen, and I soon realised I could see Collin and Brady standing guard around it. They'd obviously been given the responsibility of building it and had taken things very seriously. I smiled fondly at how young at heart they still were, despite the fact that they now looked like they could be in the NBA.
Scanning around the beach, I could make out the familiar shapes of my friends. Emily and Kim were standing near a large trunk that had been covered with a table cloth and was laden with food, miming along and swaying their hips to some song on the sound system I didn't recognise. Smaller folding tables were either side of it, one with yet more food and the other with plastic cups and various types of alcohol that Rachel was tending to. Scattered around the sand were various pack members. Jared and Quil were talking animatedly, holding red solo cups and laughing about some shared joke, and Sam was tossing a football absentmindedly with Seth as he kept an eye on his imprint. I guessed her pregnancy made him more protective than ever. Embry was walking towards the circle with a large log and cushions to sit on, not having spotted Alex yet. My heart sank when I realised Jacob was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey, guys, Snow White and Ariel are here!" Paul shouted, and I felt like the entire beach froze.
Suddenly, all eyes were on Alex and me, and I held my breath for their reaction. I got waves and smiles from Emily and Kim. Rachel nodded curtly and smiled, as did Jared and Sam. Everyone seemed to shoot a curious stare at Alex. Seth and Embry beamed and began jogging towards us as Leah poked Paul in the ribs.
"That better not fucking make me Pocahontas," she threatened.
"It will if you don't stop dating white guys," he shot back as he took the cupcakes off in the direction of the rest of the food.
We were greeted warmly by Seth who took full credit for our presence at the bonfire. Embry greeted me before taking Alex's hand and leading her off to the side, and I heard him begin to apologise to her if anyone had been bugging her about him. He looked so sorrowful, digging a toe into the sand with his hands in his pockets that I had no problem believing she'd forgive him. Hell, I wanted to hug the guy and buy him a popsicle.
Leah and Jared began ribbing on Seth for being such a 'suck up', and he tried arguing back but my attention was drawn by a forgotten figure standing alone a little further away. He was watching the scene with a petulant look on his face and had his arms folded across his broad chest. He looked entirely stand-offish, which didn't at all match with the guy I knew him to be. I broke away from the group and inched towards him.
"Quil?" I began, and he turned his face away, closing his eyes and his jaw twitched. Shit, I knew it was too good to be true.
"Quil, can I talk to you?" I asked, but he just snorted and walked past me, muttering "You never did before," under his breath. I could do nothing but stare off after him with a broken feeling. Quil was pissed at me, and I was almost surprised at how much that hurt. Alex and Embry wandered over to where I was standing, Alex with a confused look on her face.
"What's up with that guy?" she asked, following Quil with her eyes and Embry just shook his head.
"Sorry Bella, he's pretty mad at you for leaving," he supplied.
"I gathered... but it wasn't anything personal, he knows that, right?"
"We were all pretty good friends, Bella. You didn't just abandon Jake when you took off," he said, and I could detect a slight shadow of hurt in his voice too.
"How come you're not pissed at me, Embry? You deserve it as much as they do, Paul too." I said glumly.
"Because I realised it wouldn't help anyone, plus, someone needs to be here for you, in case..." he trailed off. Well, that was cryptic. "Paul, he's got ulterior motives, as usual."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I said, losing patience with Embry's constant riddles. The guy knew something and couldn't seem to resist hinting about it.
"Don't worry about it, Bella, it won't work anyway," he said, waving a dismissive hand in Paul's direction and wrinkling his nose. "Look, I know Quil and he never stays pissed for long. In fact I have it on good authority that he planned to be a dick to you for two days, make you suffer and then forget about it. So I'd just take your punishment and wait."
"Dude! The whole point is you don't tell her!" Quil yelled from somewhere behind him before grumbling under his breath.
I couldn't believe it. That was so Quil to actually plan to be pissed at me. I decided to let him have his little outburst and take what he had to throw at me. I loved him too much to risk it.
"Fine," I sighed. "I'm guessing the peanut butter cookies like the ones I baked for his seventeenth would help with the forgiving?" I enquired. Embry looked around to where Quil was sitting on a crate, arms folded and looking off into the sea. I saw him give Embry a sidelong glance, nod, and a small smile tugged at his lips.
"That would be acceptable," Embry nodded solemnly.
It was disorienting being right back in the warmth of the pack, as if the last year hadn't happened – apart from one glaring absence. I hadn't enquired about Jake's whereabouts and no-one had told me, so I was stuck to speculating as I visited the drinks table for Alex and I. I was driving, therefore couldn't indulge, even though I was dying for a little 'dutch courage'. I had to make do with cans of soda and watch as Alex sipped on something fruity the girls had called "Kimmy's Torpedo Juice". Alex was looking more relaxed by the minute.
Seth's girlfriend, Vanessa had arrived about fifteen minutes after Alex and I. She was ridiculously cute and exactly what I pictured for Seth. Her voice was soft and melodic, and she seemed to visibly glow in his presence while he couldn't keep his eyes off her. I wondered if he'd worried about imprinting, as I had watching Embry and Alex, but pushed the churning feeling in my stomach down. It was early days for both couples, and it wasn't my place yet to intervene. If, in six months, it looked like my best friend would have her heart ripped out and Embry had yet to say anything, I would be forced make him tell her. Until then, I just had to trust Embry – more so than I had my own boyfriend.
I was looking at both aforementioned couples with a soft smile on my face when I felt a delicious heat at my back – that was definitely not coming from the bonfire. Automatically I spun around and was transported eighteen months back in time when I came face to face with the cocky, self-assured smirk of Jacob Black.
I obliquely registered that Emily and Kim had left their posts at the refreshments for the first time all evening, leaving us almost alone as the rest of the group gathered around the bonfire on the makeshift seats. Laughter and excited chatter rang through the air, but it faded into the background as Jake stared into my eyes with the same fierce heat he had so many times in the past. The force of it left me speechless, and I could only gape at him like some sort of dying fish out of water.
"Welcome home, Bella," he said. What?
"I.. uh.. thanks, Jacob, it's nice to be back," I stammered.
"Everyone making you feel welcome?" he asked, taking a sip of something that smelled like gasoline from his plastic cup. I registered for the first time that coupled with his wonderful, familiar, woodsy scent, I could detect alcohol on his breath, and a lot of it. I wondered exactly when Jacob had started drinking, and how much it would take to get him at least buzzed.
"Yeah, they are, I didn't expect everyone to be so great," I said truthfully. He snorted confidently and smirked at me again.
"Everyone missed you, it's not hard to wonder why," he replied as his eyes trailed down the length of my body and back up to my eyes. I shivered under his scrutiny.
"Cold?" he asked, and the concern seemed genuine.
"Uh, well it is December, and we're on a beach in Washington at ten at night," I answered. He nodded as he sipped his drink again. What the hell was in that cup?
"Guess you're just used to having someone warm you up," he murmered, cocking a confident eyebrow. The change in his demeanour from New York was throwing me off balance. Was this how he acted when Addie wasn't around? Or was it the alcohol? Whatever it was, it had my heart racing and I forced myself to take a step away from him. Jacob was flirting with me. Just like he had when he was trying to convince me to leave Edward. Was he playing with me? Did he only want me when he thought I was unavailable? I found myself not caring much, not when he was looking at me like that.
As if on cue, my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. Jacob's eyes were drawn to my jeans where the light from the screen could be seen through the fabric. I fished it out and read the display.
Josh Calling...
I snapped myself out of the Jacob haze and answered.
"It's officially Christmas Eve in Illinois, so Merry Christmas, Short-stuff," he chimed, and I couldn't help the small smile that formed on my lips. I stole a glance at Jacob, his jaw clenched and his eyes grew cold and distant once again.
"Merry Christmas to you, too Josh," I replied, trying my best to keep my voice even, and failing terribly.
"So what are you up to right now? You know we could be snuggled up with hot chocolate by a warm fire right now," he said huskily. "Next year, I guess."
The cup in Jacob's hand was crushed as he looked past me into the group around the bonfire, presumably at Embry. I cast my gaze down and sighed.
"I'm at a bonfire with some old friends," I replied, trying to look anywhere but at one particular old friend.
"Oh yeah? You sure there's no old boyfriends I should be worried about?" he teased. I looked at Jacob, he was waiting for my reply too.
"No, nothing for you to worry about, Josh," I replied, looking at my feet once again. I heard another of those all-too-frequent snorts as I listened to Josh make small talk. When I mustered up the courage to look again, Jacob was gone.
A/N: Ooooh, what's Jacob up to? And did we enjoy meeting the pack again? I think I love them all. Josh seems to have some sort of sixth sense when Bella is around Jacob, always interrupting. It's not his fault, I guess.
Part two of this chapter will be up later, and it's in Alex's POV. Maybe she'll have some discoveries of her own...
