Chapter 8: Sand & Stone
The terrain began to alter finally, after the fifth hour of our extensive trek. But much to my unending delight, it wasn't for the better. Now, instead of being lush forests with small ponds dotting the countryside, with shade and cool wind keeping us from sweating, it became drier, hotter, and rockier. The vegetation began to wilt, forests vanished, and that worldly comfort known as water became something that needed to be rationed.
Prior to this, we had emerged from the forest, and began marching towards a cluster of hills in the distance, which we eventually got to with nothing really eventful hindering our trudging progress. Going up them was no picnic either, and once on top, we surveyed the land. Barren. Very barren. Not very inspiring…
It would be what one would call a wasteland. Not as elevated and imposing as a harsh mountain range. Nor was it a desert, with an endless carpet of sand. More of a combination, with craggy cliffs and dusty surroundings. All in all, not a very hospitable setting. A far cry from the peaceful village that I was missing more and more. Traversing the ground was no small task, having to keep our feet when sliding down steep stone walls, making doubly sure not to slip on the fine sandy dirt that covered everything. And the heat was just making this even more of a pain in the ass.
As you have no doubt assumed, I have a tendency to whine a lot…
Naturally, as if to make this task even more irritating, several large bird things, like vultures began circling around overhead, dive bombing us when we were at our most vulnerable. They flapped their wings in our faces, and tried to poke our eyes out with their talons. I tried swiping at them with my sword, nearly losing my balance and tumbling to a grisly death in the process, while Link used that uncanny marksmanship to shoot them down. I was a flailing turkey while he was cool as ice. Sometimes, his awesomeness makes me so jealous.
"Say," I asked him, after he had sent them into a squawking retreat, "You wouldn't happen to know where I could…you know maybe…get one of those? Looks pretty useful." Link glanced at his bow, then at me, followed by a shrug. The universal Link answer. I got the hunch that he didn't know, so I dropped it, and changed the subject.
"So, what are we looking for around here? A temple I guess, but so far I'm not seeing much that looks like a temple. No marble structures or anything like that."
At this, he shook his head, and pointed. We were currently halfway down a steep, but not too steep canyon wall. At the bottom was a large stretch of sandy reddish brown earth. His finger directed my attention towards the center of that expanse, where there were many large stones, having unique shapes of human construct. Or…Hylian, if you want to be nitpicky about it.
There didn't look to be much there, just some ruins. When everyone had been talking about temples and such, I had expected something a bit…well, grander. Something more along the lines of glossy while edifices of divine significance. This was a pile of rubble in a sandpit. Charming…
The last few bits of descending the ravine walls were the hardest, their faces becoming all the more slippery and smooth. That would have bee cute, wouldn't it? Me finishing my epic quest by smashing my brains across the rocks. But I gripped the stones, and lowered myself gingery, escaping that fate.
Things became easier after that. The sand at the bottom of the gulch was soft and rolling gently, so walking over it was a breeze. The sun did beat down on us, and the imposing rock walls around us blocked any wind, but it was still better than mountain climbing. Of course, such an easy trek across the sand was not without its perils…
Everyone's first guess probably would be quicksand. Nope…At least, not quite. As we crossed this miniature desert, I got the feeling that we were being observed, but from where I couldn't tell. Looking up, the buzzard things were still there, circling far overhead out of range, but I didn't think they were bothering me. Some other creature was around, but I could see no one nearby. Then, the powerfully strong hand grabbed my ankle.
With a single pull, my right leg was sucked down into the sand, and kept sinking. My reaction was…ahem…admirable.
"YAHHHHHHH!!! SOMETHING'S GOT MY FREAKIN' LEG!!!" I at once began clawing at the sand, yanking my stuck leg, trying to free myself. Link turned about, and came on the run, sword out, and began stabbing at the sand. My concern shifted at once from being dragged to a sandy end, towards the fear of his large blade hacking my foot off, rather than the underground grabber. But there came a shrieking cry from beneath us, as the ground trembled and my foot was free.
"Jesus, what the hell was that," I choked out, trying to calm the rising flood of panic, coaxing my heart back into my chest, and out of my esophagus. Link shrugged, and I swear right now that I could have strangled him. Him and those shrugs! Before I could act upon those violent thoughts, he then pointed behind, then poised himself. I looked.
Rising up out of the ground not far off was a long slender green worm creature, way bigger than any snake, at least thirty feet long, and maybe three feet thick. It had large mandibles, and circular mouth full of very imposing looking teeth. It had a long purple rope dangling out of its mouth, what I could only assume was its tongue, dripping some yellow liquid. Link must have given that tongue something to taste, and sliced it off.
The giant worm was writhing upright, its olive colored body wiggling madly. It was emitting very high pitch shrieks and cries, as if to proclaim its pain. At least, that's what I thought it was doing until the ground began to tremble again, but much more violently.
"Don't tell me," I groaned aloud, looking over at Link. He too looked worried, keeping a firm grip on his sword, glancing around, and keeping an eye on his feet. Seeing him anxious didn't make me feel better. But at least he didn't shrug.
In a blasting cloud of dirt, right in front of us, four more of the snake creatures erupted out of the sand by its wounded fellow, all of them twisting and wriggling about in a large green stringy mass. I didn't think they could see us, but nonetheless they turned to "look" in our direction, making chittering noises, sounding like a bunch of large angry squirrels. I would have much rather faced squirrels.
There was a tension between us, they squirming in their upright positions, us crouching and waiting. Then, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I glanced back at Link. He was already running, but fortunately not with that super speed of his. That would have been bad form indeed for him to run so quickly, that he would leave me as the only target present. But he was still running nonetheless, towards the ruins.
I didn't waste any words asking questions, and I bolted after him. There may be a time in the future when I could prove my own bravery, ingenuity, and severe coolness in a battle situation, but it was not here. If Link, even with all his skills and his evil killing Master Sword was hauling ass out of there, then I'd probably be worm bait in about three seconds flat. Thus, I took off at his heels.
At our sudden movement, the worms behind us let out that shrill cry, and with a thundering rush of sand, they were after us. And man, in that loose dirt, were they fast.
"I'm really having fun here!" I shouted as we streaked across the ground, "This is exactly what I'd like to be doing today!" I stole a look behind, as the giant worms were jumping out of the sand like a school of misshapen dolphins, coming closer. "Go away!" I yelled, urging myself to move faster, "Go find some nice dirt to eat and leave me alone!"
They didn't heed my request and kept coming. Rats. The ruins had been a good ways off when we had started running, but we came up on them awfully fast. At close range, they seemed bigger than they had an hour ago, up at the lip of the ravine. Not that I had the leisure of time to pause and take note of architectural designs and symbolist meanings.
Most everything was sandy colored pillars knocked on their sides, but one looked like a small brick hut, with a modest sized opening. We both flew inside, and nearly went painfully down a series of like…a million steps, leading downward into the deepest darkest depths. Outside, the worms cried out in frustration, they being unable to pierce through the stone walls. With their size, I would have thought it easy for them to crush this measly building into powder, but if they couldn't then I wasn't one to gripe.
A descending staircase right through the front door was odd indeed, even more so for one this immense. Perhaps I exaggerated in saying a million steps, but I don't think over a thousand would be. If there was a railing too, going down them wouldn't have been such a chore…more like a fun ride. Going back was the real fun part…the mere thinking about such an activity was nauseating; and I was already praying that we could avoid such a thing.
Once we got away from the snake worms, Link straightened his attire and cap, drew his sword, and nodded at me. I followed suit. He started down, pulling from nowhere a small lantern, that shone a surprisingly large amount of light. He went first, which was fine by me, and I covered the rear, being extra wary. So…we went down…And down…and just for the thrill of it…we went down some more, these stairs being endless, they seeking to deposit us into the center of the earth.
Then, at last, there was a flickering light at the end of the tunnel. So to speak. We emerged in a huge room, rectangular and very large. Maybe two hundred feet across, with lofty roof space overhead. There were a few torches lit, scattered about here and there, and I at once wondered as to how they had remained lit, being in a place that didn't look like it got a lot of tourists.
On the opposite side, across from us was a door, and a big one at that, a giant stone slab, having neither a doorknocker or handle. It did have some pictures carved into it, a giant weird shaped eye, and the ever-familiar Triforce. No doubt this was the way forward, but things wouldn't be that easy. For there was a row of iron bars shut tight in front of it, making accessing it impossible. Of course, to move a rock that size…I didn't see neither me nor Link, or the two of us even making it shift slightly. But…one thing at a time.
There was a noticeable path leading from the exit of the staircase, right to this iron-clad door, the floor tiles a different color. And lining this walkway were huge stone statues. They were ugly…very ugly. One giant eye, grotesque open mouths, horns, and short stubby arms. Unsightly to say the least.
Though I wasn't saying that the carving job was bad, oh no. That was excellent; exceptional actually, but what they were supposed to be, I couldn't even guess. Whoever made them sure could have picked a better subject to sculpt. They stood on little bases, making them look like gargantuan chess pieces.
Link put aside his lantern, but still looked cautious, casting mistrusting eyes at the stone watchers. I didn't see the need to worry. I walked with him, but not nearly in the same scrupulous fashion. I didn't put my sword up, but I didn't feel the need to slink here. I felt safe.
In the course of running from the worms and descending down the staircase, I hadn't been aware that my one of my shoelaces had come undone, and I just now noticed. I stooped, and felt some of my hair brush against the nearest stone guard. I really wish I hadn't done that. In an instant, there was a rumble, a grinding of stone, and a dull roar thundered around us.
I forgot about my shoe, and was stunned to see everyone of the rock men moving. Their lone eye in the center of each statue began to glow a shaded green, they rolling around until they caught sight of us. Then they had started to move, by hopping around, moaning and groaning about something, closing in on Link and…me.
The two of us began running around the room in crazy circles, trying to elude these relentless moving statues. Each one of those things must have weighed as much as a truck, but they were still hoping about two feet in the air with each bound. Hell, even I couldn't do that, and I'm not that heavy. Unfair…
"I didn't do anything!" I yelled in frustration and no small amount of panic, as I was certain that Link was silently blaming me for this latest pain in our asses. "I just touched it!" My partner didn't seem to be listening. Instead, his bow was in his hand again, and even as he was dashing about, agilely leaping from side to side, to avoid the crushing path of his pursuers, he took a shot.
The arrow struck it right in the eye, but bounced away harmlessly. Regardless of the lack of penetration, it was not without effect. The monster sculpture let out a deep yelp, and froze, staying in place, but visibly trembling. In a moment, the bow was gone, and Link produced a dark brown bag of leather, and pulled out…something. It looked like a rock. With a fuse…
It came to me a moment after. A bomb. I think. And Link shoved this large explosive into its gaping mouth, and dashed away. For there was a moment of silence, before a muffled boom, and the statue began to split and crack, only to crumble away into dust. An bomb on the inside…smooth move.
Link was trying to pull his bow back out, but most of them began to go after him, seeing as he was clearly the bigger threat. Clearly. But he wasn't one to be so easily done in. He leapt onto the arm of one of the statues, and vaulted over the lot of them, landing close to me. We made eye contact, and he tossed me something. It was the brown bag of his, the one with the bombs. He nodded at the advancing foes, giving me a serious look.
I followed. Link had a hard time switching his seemingly limitless supply of equipment back and forth in the heat of battle, so he would take the bow, and I'd handle the explosives. I gave a grin, and a thumbs up, and we went to work. As he fitted an arrow, I reached into the bag, and pulled a bomb to the ready. Now, I got a real good look at it.
I was in awe to say the least. It was the classic cartoon bomb, with the lit fuse, and the round body. The kind that would always blow up, leaving the unfortunate soul holding it with a blackened face and missing teeth. I was grasping, in my very hand, a device that was perhaps legendary in terms of animated gags. Sweet. But such feelings of wonder had to be put on hold, as I needed to help Link. And also throw that bomb away before it blew my arm off.
Link had nailed one of their eyes, leaving it stunned with a dissatisfied groan. I approahced the first immobile statue, and shoved the bomb into his maw, pushing it down its stoney throat. Then I ran like mad.
BOOM! It blew like a grenade, and that sucker was history. Pebbles fell from the air, heralding its destruction. Thus began a cycle; Link dashed back and forth among them, firing his bow like a machine gun, each hit freezing yet another enemy. I was right behind, and tossed a lit bomb into their faces, and let it blow. With this collaborative effort, they were all smoking debris in a matter of minutes. The room was quite cloudy afterward, but I couldn't resist living up our victory.
"Boo Yeah! How do you like that, huh? Who's your daddy rock-men? Yeah, that's what I thought! Ha ha!" In the midst of my celebrating, there was another shaking groan, as both the iron bars and the huge stone door began to lift up, opening the path.
I joined Link, returning his bomb bag. We exchanged glances, took a deep breath, and stepped forward, entering our first temple.
