Toby woke up before Spencer, still spooned close to her, his arms wrapped firmly around her. It was already mid-morning, and he smiled recounting the happenings of the night prior that had tired them so.
He just watched her sleep. He didn't want to think about getting up, even to use the bathroom. He just wanted to hold her like this. It had very little to do with the fact that they were both in only their underwear; Toby had decided that her bare skin felt like a new favorite sweater. He finally understood why she was constantly whining that she wanted them to touch, and how innocent that desire really was.
When he felt her start to stir in his arms, clamping her eyes tightly shut as the light impeded her dreams, he nuzzled her neck and immediately started to lay very light kisses where her neck met her shoulder, each kiss seemingly lighter than the last. She groaned and pushed back into him, turning her head to grant him better access, intertwining her fingers with his at her navel.
"Hmmmmmmm," she hummed lightly at his moist lips on the thin skin covering her neck. He was dangerously close to the spot towards the back of her neck near her ear that, as she recently learned, completely turned her into a needy, whimpering, breathless, raw person. Any touch there consumed her whole body. She hated it and loved it at the same time. It was her secret on/off switch.
And then he found it. He carefully took note of the exact location of her sweet spot, one that he had grazed over many times in the past few weeks, but always managed to lose after an intense moment. Her whole body would tense up, and then very quickly become what he could only describe as rag-dollish. And she would become a writhing, primal, lust-filled being in a moment whenever he found the spot.
She moaned a bit louder this time, and he took that as a sign of approval to continue teasing her. He continued the moment and squeezed and pulled at her bare breasts, which had previously been just inches from his fingertips. She arched her back and threw her head back slightly, which inadvertently made the access to her sweet spot even easier, and he bit a little harder. A jolt ran through her entire body and for a brief, stabbing second, she lost all control. Regaining her composure, she quickly flipped around in his arms, breaking free of his touch, and pushed her torso into his, her hands cupping either side of his face. "Good morning," she smiled a big, toothy grin that came with a soft, breathy laugh.
"Good morning," he smiled, his hands smoothing over her bare back, thumbing at her bony spine.
"I like waking up to you," she pushed her forehead into his.
"We've woken up together plenty of times,"
"Not like this." She relished in their bare skin touching. It was more intimate to her than all of the kissing and touching they'd ever done. Even as he'd cupped her breasts for the first time, she felt more intensely about the fact that she could feel him everywhere, instead of the fact that they'd progressed sexually. "I don't even have to be anywhere today. We can stay in bed as long as we like. And then do whatever we want afterwards." She squeaked.
"Well, I only have a suit here, so… I have to go home eventually." He said, sitting over the edge of the bed and standing in front of her. "And I have to go to the bathroom."
"You can just stay like this all day," she offered, giggling as he went to the bathroom. "I'm serious," she called from the bed, sitting up and wrapping her sheet around her exposed parts.
He came out, drying his hands still with a fluffy pink towel.
"I'll go home, change, shower, and come back right here." He stood between her legs, which were now dangling off the side of her bed. "I promise," he pulled her in and kissed her head.
"You can shower here," she pleaded.
"Spencer. It'll be an hour." He tucked hair behind her ear.
"Fine," she pouted. "But not yet." She pulled him back down on the bed and snuggled into him.
She never did let him go home that day.
xx
For the time that the Hastings' were gone, Spencer had Toby over every single day. He slept over every night, and he often drove her to school on his way to work and even sometimes picked her up on his way home, if he was getting home early enough. They did everything a couple of many years would do, only they weren't even exclusive and had only been close for the matter of a couple of months.
She didn't make it all fun, though. She pushed him to do extra work, to really prepare him for his GED exams.
It was Friday now, and her parents were coming home on Sunday. She was lamenting the fact that this would be their last weekend holed away in her house.
"Spence, enough for today." He growled, closing the book and pulling her into him. "Can't we just order a pizza and watch a movie?"
"Would you settle for a French film? We can put on the subtitles. It'll help you."
"Jeez, would you stop trying to make me better." He knocked into her playfully.
"Nope." She said shortly and cutely.
"Fine," he smiled, and held her hand, stroking the side of her thumb with his.
She pulled her hand out of his and retreated to the kitchen. He followed her after a moment.
"Did I do something?" He raised his eyebrow.
She spun around to face him, holding a pile of mail. It was as if she had known he would have followed her into the room, no questions asked.
"I got some letters back from colleges." She hadn't wanted to open them while her parents were home and would undoubtedly take it upon themselves to deposit for her at Princeton.
"And?" He looked at her, eagerly. He knew that this was something she had been distraught about since Day 1, when they had their first tutoring session and she told him about how stressed school made her, and how she didn't even like it anymore.
"I haven't opened any yet." She looked down.
"But Spence… don't you need to deposit, like, soon?"
"Not until March." It was December. "I have some time."
"Well… are you gonna open them soon?"
"I wanted to open them without my parents."
"Well they aren't here now. I could give you some privacy," he motioned to the other room.
"No, stay with me." She hopped up onto the counter and pulled him towards her, where he stood between her legs.
First, she opened Princeton. Of course, she'd gotten in.
"I think my Dad may have bought this acceptance," she said casually, not making eye contact. "I should burn that." She said, tearing through the rest. With the exception of Yale and Columbia, she had applied to the rest behind her parents backs. She'd applied to Hollis, The College of New Jersey, Clemson University in South Carolina, USC, Fordham, and University of North Carolina in Asheville. She'd decided that she wanted to go somewhere that wasn't quite as competitive. If she were lucky, she'd be able to get far away, too. But every time she thought about the subject, picturing herself across the country, or in a small town further down the Eastern seaboard, she felt a tug at her heart. It was a small tug. In fact, the thing twisting in her guts could be stammered in only one word, a word only composed of four letters. Toby.
"Wow," He mumble under his breath, and she slipped the last of the letters into it's envelope. She had been accepted to every school she applied to, with the exception of a waitlist letter from Yale.
"What?" She looked up, not sure if she was even happy because she still had such a big decision to make. And she knew it would be a Hell of a fight with her parents.
"I'm just a little bit in awe of you. You're brilliant, Spencer. Everyone wants you."
"Not Yale," she joked, but Toby just made a face.
"Honestly, Spencer. I don't how you do it." His hands rested on top of hers on the countertop.
She blushed. "So how 'bout that pizza?" She picked up the phone to call. "We can even watch a regular movie, instead of French. If you want." She smiled,
"I'll do whatever you want if you pleeeeease don't put veggies on the pizza." He teased.
She just pointed in the living room, signaling him to leave and find a movie while she made the call.
She ordered the pizza half veggie, so they were both happy. They didn't bother cleaning up all of the books they had been studying from, they just settled around them, not wanting to keep away from each other unless they had to.
They ended up watching a French movie, because he knew that that was what Spencer really wanted all along. He sat on the couch normally, and she sat sideways, so her back leaned agaist his side and his arm wrapped around her. She held a notebook and kept a list of all the words that came up, or important phrases, that he didn't understand.
They fell asleep on each other on the couch, her small frame folded perfectly into the space between him and the corner of the couch. His hand was just under the fabric of the back of her shirt, gently resting on the small of her back. She had recently taken to telling him that she couldn't sleep without skin-to-skin contact. She was mostly exaggerating, but he didn't mind. She was similarly positioned on his own body, her hand on his chest with her fingers tucked into the neckline of his shirt. Her notebook was still balanced carefully on her stomach.
They were startled when the door opened and her parents came in, immediately yelling at the sight of their youngest daughter curled in a ball with town leper Toby Cavanaugh.
"Spencer Janine Hastings what do you think is going on here?" Her mother screamed, making the couple on the couch jump up out of their comfortable positions, her notebook flying off the couch. Toby didn't realize his hand was still under Spencer's shirt at her hip until he saw Peter's disapproving, sour scowl staring at his daughter's exposed skin underneath Toby's calloused fingers. Toby immediately jumped back. Spencer was more calm, bending to pick up her books.
"We were just studying, Mom. What are you doing home, anyway?" Her eyes narrowed, grumpy from being woken up from her very peaceful slumber in Toby's safe arms.
"I had an arraignment scheduled for tomorrow so we switc—" she stopped. "I'm not explaining anything to you, young lady! Kitchen, now." Her mother pointed, as Spencer had earlier signaling Toby to leave the kitchen. He wanted to laugh at how Spencer had emulated her mother, but he was also too scared that Peter was going to kill him, so kept to himself.
"I should go," Toby stood, swearing Peter had actually hissed at him.
"That's a very good idea, Toby." Veronica said harshly from the kitchen, her arms over her chest waiting for Peter to join them.
"Mom! That was beyond rude!" she pushed past her, into the living room. "Toby, you don't have to leave. You can wait in my room." Her eyes pleaded with him to stay.
"I gotta go." He was short with her, and pushed past her straight to the door, not worrying about his stuff he'd left in her room.
"Mom! Dad!" she yelled after the door slammed shut. "There was NO reason to throw him out of here! So what, we fell asleep! Melissa married a MURDERER and didn't even invite you to the wedding! I fall asleep with a boy I'm tutoring and you FLIP OUT."
"He isn't good for you, Spencer."
Spencer audibly laughed at her mother's comment.
"Why do you think this is so funny? What are you trying to prove?" Peter got in his daughter's face, backing her into the corner.
"Because you're so elitist. He doesn't have doctor and lawyer parents, he must be the devil." She mocked. "He's better for me than you are." She shot back.
"Excuse me?" Her father got even more in her face.
"What are you trying to prove with him, Spencer?"
"I'm tutoring him. He's my…friend." She'd realized she wasn't lying this time, they really didn't have a label. She also didn't realize until then that there really wasn't a label she felt comfortable assigning their relationship. He wasn't your average high school boyfriend. He looked at her, and she felt like she might be magic.
"Friend," Peter scoffed, backing up a little. "I didn't raise my daughter to let her friends over in an empty house, with that friend's hands up her blouse!"
"You're right," Spencer got in his face this time. "You didn't raise me at all." She looked right in his eyes when she disrespected him. She threw her words like daggers, no remorse. She had typically been an obedient girl, but she had finally grown sick of her parents' controlling ways and wanted to take control of her own life. It wasn't like she was lying, either. Truth was, her parents were so busy that she really did raise herself.
A gasp escaped Spencer's mouth when she found herself pinned against the wall under her father. "Spencer Janine Hastings, you have had nothing but an enormous attitude problem since you started tutoring that boy. If I'd have known it was the Cavanaugh boy you were tutoring… you wouldn't have even been leaving the house. Why do you go looking for trouble, Spencer? First, you provoke Ian, and now you're hanging out with Cavanaugh?"
"You need to respect us, Spencer," her mother bellowed from across the room. "We only want the best for you."
Spencer's eyes were spilling over by this point. "No, you want what's best for the Hastings name," she spat out. "I never asked for this." She leaned tightly against the wall, trying not to touch her father, annoyed at even the way he breathed, sure she sensed arrogance in even the mildest of acitons.
"You have no idea what you're talking about. You don't know him! He's gentle and he's different and he actually has sight of life outside of this ghastly little town!" She screeched. "He was at the bell tower that night," she spat out, without thinking. "Ian was going to kill me that night. It wasn't an accident like you all think, he was actively trying to hurt me. You would only have one daughter if it weren't for Toby. He saved me." Her cheeks were soaked with tears.
"Oh Spencer, why would you go there? First sneaking around, now lying? About Ian, about tutoring… is he who you took to the dance?! I heard from Mira, she said you were extremely rude to Todd. I can't take any more of this lying!" Veronica put her hands on her hips. "Just go to your room, I don't want to see you down here again tonight. Understand?"
"And no more tutoring for you." Peter added. "I don't care who asks. You're done with the tutoring center."
"Todd came to the dance drunk for your information," Spencer stomped her foot, crossing her arms over her chest. "I didn't feel safe with him."
"I've heard enough," Peter basically dragged her to the stairs. "No more of this Cavanaugh crap, you hear me?"
"Da—" she went to yell in protest again.
"SPENCER. HASTINGS. I SAID, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? It's OVER."
Spencer pulled back, hating her father like this. She never agreed; she just ran upstairs.
She called Toby the second she got in her room, shrinking into a ball on her bed with his sleep shirt rolled up as if it were a teddy bear. But he didn't answer.
She stayed awake for hours, nudging him on their Words with Friends game and calling him alternatively, but she got no answers. At 1:30 AM, she finally decided to leave a message.
"Toby…it's me," she sniffled. "I'm so sorry, they weren't supposed to be home tonight. They don't know what they're talking about. You're my hero, Toby. And I need you to save me…I need you to save me from them and from this stupid house." She took a moment to catch her breath. "This place is a prison, Toby." She wheezed. "Please come back for me." She cried on the phone for a little while. "Call me, please. I need your voice." She leaked with desire. She hung up and fell asleep quickly, having cried herself to sleep.
xx
Spencer was sitting slouched over in her chair, facing the window, unable to speak.
It had been two weeks since her parents had forbidden her from seeing Toby. It was the first day of Christmas break, but she was feeling anything but holiday spirit.
Emily and Hanna sat on Spencer's bed, just watching her. Aria was sprawled out on Spencer's floor, laying on her back facing the ceiling. They'd been there for hours, but could not get Spencer to talk. Or change out of her worn out yoga pants and the stained t-shirt Toby had left there.
"Let me do your make-up, or your hair, at least," Hanna offered. "If you look better, maybe you'll feel better."
Spencer just looked up at her friend disapprovingly; she didn't even say anything out loud and Hanna knew it was not going to happen.
"Can you at least tell us what happened?" Aria sat up, grazing her friend's leg with her hand.
"My parents told me I couldn't see Toby anymore. They made a big fuss and now he won't answer."
"But what happened?" Aria prodded. "Start from the beginning."
Spencer was exasperated. But, she sat up, finally feeling up to girl-talk. She had been so wrapped up in Toby lately she had barely seen her friends, and she'd spent the past two weeks stressing over midterms, and being distraught over all of the unanswered texts she'd sent Toby.
"Where do you want me to start?" Spencer's eyes started to glimmer a bit.
"START AT THE DANCE," Hanna said a bit louder than she meant, bouncing off the bed to sit closer to Spencer. She loved boy stories.
Spencer couldn't help but laugh a little. "Well… My mom invited that sleazeball Todd, the Princeton kid. I forgot to uninvited him, and he got there before Toby and cornered me. He was all 'you've grown up, blah blah blah I'm gonna put my hand up your dress because that's totally appropriate,'" Spencer mocked.
"I KNEW IT" Aria glared at Hanna and Emily. "I wanted to come over there but Hanna thought you were sluttin' it up with Toby and Todd."
"That's a popular opinion lately, actually." Spencer's eyebrows furrowed, her expression puzzled and annoyed, but kind of funny at the same time. "When in doubt just assume it's Spencer, sluttin it up," she said snarkily.
"Whatever! Go on!" Hanna yelped.
"Well Toby found me and told Todd to leave. And we, uh… we kissed. A lot. A lot a lot. It was intense. And then we came back here, and we snuggled up on the couch with a bottle of wine and we…kissed some more…"
"YOU DID IT!" Hanna yelled.
"Why don't you let her tell the story?" Emily nudged her friend.
"Anyyyyyyway, we kissed a lot and he spent the weekend here… mostly holed up in my bedroom. Just…exploring each other. We didn't have sex… we didn't even really get all that close. But we spent almost the whole weekend in our underwear, pressed up against one another… and it was just magic. And since my parents were in London, he stayed the rest of the week, too. We fell asleep on the couch watching a movie and my parents ended up coming home early…my dad told Toby he wasn't good for me and Toby left. I haven't heard from him since," she frowned.
"Wait, let me get this straight. You spent an entire weekend in your bed, with your parents gone, with a guy, and you didn't have sex?" Hanna raised her eyebrows.
"He's…sweet. Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are…" she kind of laughed a little, biting her lip remembering her time with Toby. "It was almost more exciting…to just be together and be so vulnerable and to know that anything could happen and pushing all the boundaries but still always retreating back to just being…still." Spencer's eyes were more lit up than the girls' had ever seen them about anything other than a science fair or a tennis match.
"You love him" Emily squawked, and Hanna made a face. "What, it's okay when you say it?" Emily snapped back.
"I don't…We're not even dating. And from the looks of it we'll never see each other again, so it doesn't really matter." She sighed.
"You dad probably just spooked him. Give him some time," Aria offered.
"Or just go over there and demand his attention." Hanna smiled.
"You know, she might be right…" Emily agreed, hesitantly. "Tell him how you feel. You'll be 18 in March. That's so soon. Then it doesn't matter what your parents say."
"You should go over there wearing a big bow like a Christmas present…and your trenchcoat and red stilettos…and nothing else," Hanna's face got red as the girls all squinted at her.
"What, I heard guys like that kind of thing," she looked away, smiling, very clearly remembering a time where she'd probably done something similarly as scandalous for Caleb.
"Can we just talk about something else?" Spencer sulked. "Can we just go eat something?" her stomach growled. "I want to get out of this house."
"Finally!" Aria smiled.
"But change before those yoga pants become a permanent fixture of your body…and maybe brush your hair." Hanna critiqued.
Spencer made a face, but followed her friends' instructions and tried to start to act normally.
I miss you. She texted Toby in a moment of weakness an hour later while at the Applerose Grille with her friends. She had hovered over the "Send" button for at least twenty minutes before pressing it.
When she arrived home several hours after dinner, ice cream and a movie with the girls, he still had not answered.
vPlease come back, She pleaded in her head, as if he could hear her. I think Emily was right. I think… I think I'm falling in love with him.
