Along the shore, seven beings can be seen hiding behind the bushes. They were watching the small shack, waiting for someone to come out.
"Hermes, is that the place where that famous blacksmith lives?"
The god nodded and answered "You got that right, Apolloski!" I asked a few of the beings and all of the clues lead here."
"Eww~! It looks like a dump!" exclaimed Aphrodite.
"Father, what are doing here exactly?" asked Artemis.
Everyone looked at Zeus, who scratched his head. "Hera told me to watch over all of you and to make sure to bring that craftsman alive. Your stepmom has gotten more grumpy ever since she got stuck on her throne."
"Tch! She's always moody!" said Ares.
"I guess you're right. Besides, I think it's best I leave her alone from time to time. Whenever it's just the two of us, she stares into space, making me feel like I'm sitting next to a rotting dead body."
Athena shushed them. "Everyone, here comes Eurynome."
The said goddess was headed for the small shack. She stopped at the doorstep and shouted "Heffie! Heffie!"
Eurynome was doing her favorite hobby, which was banging on the door of her nephew's shack. The god skipped breakfast and lunch so she brought him a basket with bread and meat for a hearty meal. "If you don't open this-" The door opened and Hephaestus came out. "Hmph. Seriously, when you go back home, you need to be punctual!" She handed him the basket.
Hephaestus took it and replied "But…I'm already home…"
"What I mean is back at Olympus! You need to be exactly at the dinner table on time. Those Olympians won't start if one of them is not there yet."
He muttered "I'm not…going there…"
"What?"
He shook his head, and was about to go back, when something caught his attention. From the corner of his eyes, he saw eight beings behind the bush. It took him a second to know who they were and just went back to his shack.
Athena narrowed her eyes. "I think he sees us."
Aphrodite laughed. "Lolololololol! You're so funneh~! Mortals can't see us! We're too beautiful for them!"
She ignored her but muttered "If they saw you, they'll burn from your idiocy."
Hermes clapped his hand. "So, who goes first?"
The seven of them looked at one another, waiting for someone to say "I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!"
Aphrodite waved her hand. "Hmph! Come on now, go and do your thing! Save the best for last, which is moi! Now go, and shine bright like my forehead!"
"Your forehead? You mean like a diamond, right?" said Apollo, cocking his eyebrow.
She gave him a smile that lights up the world like nobody else~. "Oh Apollo! You must admit, I shine more than a diamond!"
He took her hand, kissed it, and gave her his killer smile. "Of course my lady, we shall shine bright like your forehead."
"Oh Chaos, you've got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Artemis.
Zeus sighed, and thought that he needed to intervene. "Alright look, Ares, you go first."
The god snapped his head to his Father. "What?! Why am I always the one being picked?! And besides, he can't see us!"
"He does. He can see us, though I don't know why…" Athena was lost in her thoughts.
"See or not just convince him, but, don't force him or kill him." said Zeus.
"Tch!"
"Do you want that prize or not?"
He was about to retort, but decided to head to the shack while grumbling. He heard his Dad say "When you hear five knocks on the door, that means your time's up!"
When Hephaestus heard his door being slammed open, he knew that one of them did it. And he also knew that he or she was breathing down on him, which was starting to annoy him. He composed himself and turned around to see a nipple.
Great, just great. Whoever this god is, he shall always remember their first meeting where his face was close to this dude's chest.
Seriously, get some clothes on.
Hephaestus looked up to see a handsome face with a scar. If looks could kill…
"…Yes?"
Ares smirked and said "Hello there, Heffie!"
"…It's Hephaestus…"
"Whatever! Look, you already know why I'm here! Come back with me, free my Mom from that throne, and I'll never see your face ever again!" Ironic cuz' the craftsman was wearing his hooded scarf that hid his face.
"No." He turned to his desk and started to work.
Ares glared at the craftsman, he turned him around and took him by the scarf. "I gotta say, you trapping my Mom is freaking funny, but no one messes with me! I am Ares! The god of war! And if you don't come with me, I will rip you to pieces!"
Hephaestus tried to pull himself away from the grip as he said "I heard about you…you're all talk!"
The god growled and let him go with a push. He took a few steps backward and said "Talk huh?! We'll see about that! With your puny body, I'll break your bones at wrestling!" The only thing Ares was wearing was a "Man-skirt" and he took it off in a swipe of his hand and threw it on the ground, leaving him naked.
Hephaestus eyes widened and stammered "P-P-Pervert!"
"What?! Screw you! Now get your ass over here and I'll pound it!"
Nope. That's not going to happen, he rather die being a virgin than being pummeled in the ass by this pervert! And what's worse, he might be his brother!
An incestuous, perverted freak!
He was so into his thoughts that he only noticed the god charging at him and tackled him to the floor. He felt an arm wrapped around his neck, but he was more worried about something else.
"Can you feel it?! I call it "The Ares' dagger grip!"" said the god as he tightened the grip.
Hephaestus can feel it alright, it was stabbing him in the ass! "Get your dagger… off of me!"
Ares laughed. "Hah! Take it! Take it you pussy!"
Sweet Chaos, he was being man raped! AAAHHHHH!
A knock on the door both stopped from their struggling. Ares exclaimed "Screw this!" He stood up, picked his "Man-skirt" on the floor and went out.
Hephaestus was still on the floor, and he was a bit confused, but at least his butt was safe. He heard a slap, and then Ares bickering with someone at the other side of the door as he stood up. He sat on his chair, and was about to turn when the door opened again to reveal a beautiful goddess, with her wisdom shizz~ emitting from her.
She walked inside and stopped a few feet away from him. "Greetings, I am known as Athena. Do excuse my brother for his idiotic actions."
He nodded and said "…Hephaestus…" He was stunned not by the beauty, but by the way she spoke, like what a goddess should be. He heard from his Aunt that the Olympian gods were idiots, and only a few of them are worth talking to.
"My brother must have already told you, we request from you to release the queen from her bondage." Then she muttered "And to free us from her wrath."
Hephaestus may be impressed, but he was not going to budge. "Sorry…but no." He turned to his desk.
Athena tilted her head. "May I query you on why you did such thing?" She did not received an answer, and was about to ask again when something caught her eyes. At the corner of the desk, a small, wooden bunny can be seen. It was painted in white, and there were three black dots which served as the face.
IT. WAS. SO. FREAKING. CUTE!
It was so simple yet, it was a work of art! Only skilled hands can make those wooden figurines! And Athena was not exaggerating, she was too cool for that. And she was so not into that wooden bunny, even though the whiteness looked like the soft fur of the real one. And that nose!
Sweet Chaos the nose!
She was snapped back into reality when Hephaestus called her. She blinked, and then noticed that she was beside the craftsman, her hand a few inches away from the bunny.
No, Athena! Control yourself! You are a goddess! You don't like cute things! You HATE cute things!
Athena pulled her hand back and cleared her throat. "I was just…"
Hephaestus stared at her and looked at the wooden bunny he made. It was one of his first creations, which he actually forgot was there. He took and handed it to her. "…You can have it…"
No! Don't you dare Athena! Don't you dare!
She couldn't speak, and her hand automatically reached for the figurine. It was like she was being controlled.
STAHP IT!
It was now on her palm, and the head was faced to her. She thought that it was going to move, wiggle its nose, jump off, and they will do the cha-cha.
Curse you Hephaestus!
Suddenly, someone outside said "Oh Athena dahling!~ It's my turn!"
The goddess was not in the mood to strangle her sister. She may have lost this battle, but at least she got the bunny. The bunneh! She turned to him and said "Thank you for this token I shall cher- take good care of it. It was nice meeting you, Hephaestus."
He nodded and watched her walk to the door. He turned to his desk, not wanting to see who the next one was, because from the voice they heard, it was really irritating to the ears.
The door was slammed open again. Hephaestus heard the goddess stopped at the middle of the room and cleared her throat. He sighed, turned around and seeing the goddess, he was mind-blown.
She's beautiful! So freaking beautiful! She's the epitome of beauty! Like Wow! Like- ASDFGHJKL!
Aphrodite was smiling as she thought that this was a piece of cake. Speaking of cake, she was going to have a lot of it tonight. "Peasant, you may know me as the most beautiful goddess of Olympus, Aphrodite!"
Hephaestus thought that it was a wonderful name for such beauty. It was like Afro, with a "dite".
Afrodite. It's perfect!
The goddess smirked "I know, you're so amazed by my beauty!~ Lololololololol!"
That voice! Oh that sweet-sounding voice! And that laugh! Sweet Chaos she has an angelic laugh! Her companions must really enjoy laughing with her!
And then reality hits him. This creature in front of him will never like him. It's a good thing his face was hidden, because he doesn't want to see horror etched on her perfect face.
Ah Hephaestus, stop hoping for the impossible and get back to your work. Besides, at least it's free to dream.
He turned to his desk, which made the goddess frown.
How dare he turn his back on her! Aphrodite looked around and saw a stool. She dragged it beside him, and instead of sitting, she uncovered her leg and brought it on the stool.
Hephaestus was aware of the shining leg beside him. Temptation was creeping into him and he gulped. Focus. Focus. Focu- Is this what they call an erection?
Aphrodite smirked, he was taking the bait. "Oh Hephaestus~, if you come back with me to Olympus and free my stepmonster, I'll show more of these.~"
How many legs does she have?
"No…" and he went back to his work.
No?! No one says no to Aphrodite! She was about to say something when another wave of knocks was heard. "What?! It's already time?! Argh!~" She turned to him. "Please~ Heffie! Come with me!"
"…No…"
"Argh! Fine then!" Aphrodite strode to the door. "I shall remember this!" she said as she slammed the door closed.
Hephaestus rubbed his temple. Who was next on the list? He heard the door slammed open again, and he thought that he needed to lock it next time.
"Hello there!"
He turned his head to see two beings. He thought that they looked similar to one another.
"Hey!~ I'm Artemis!"
"And I'm Apollo!"
"And we are the Olympian twins!" they said in unison.
Wow. Should he clap or something? And what's with the "A" names? Does the King of the gods has an "A" fetish?
Artemis looked at her brother. "Let's do it, brother!"
Apollo nodded. "Right back at you, sister!"
For some reason, music came out of nowhere, and the two faced him. Then they started to do an exhibition. They dance, twirled, flipped, rubbed their butts at one another, etc. Hephaestus has to admit, it was a pretty good routine, and Apollo was dancing elegantly, and he gives him a perfect ten. While Artemis gets a one- no scratch that, he gives her a big, fat zero. She was dancing like a robot and making faces like a fish. Seriously, who was the female in here?
It ended with Apollo carrying his sister, and they were looking at him with a smile on their faces. The only reply he could give him was "…No."
"What?! We worked hard on that!" exclaimed Artemis as she was put down.
Apollo rubbed her shoulders. "It's alright sis, you danced like a beautiful flower in spring."
Yeah right. You danced like a brick.
"Our time is up." Apollo turned to Hephaestus. "Please do consider freeing our Queen." Then they left.
For the first time, he thought about on what he said. Minutes later, another knock on the door distracted him. Whoever it was, he or she was not coming in so he stood up and went to the door. He opened it and saw the messenger god.
"Good evening, sir. Do you have time to talk about Zeus?"
Hephaestus closed the door, locked it, and went back to his sanctuary.
Hermes on the other hand, knocked a few times before giving up and went back to their hiding place. "I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough."
Zeus asked. "What did you say to him? You didn't even go in."
"I said that we were going to talk about you, and then he closed the door on me."
"Why do you even want to talk about me?"
Hermes just grinned.
"Hey, where's Dionysus?" asked Ares.
Apollo said "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen him since this morning."
Athena replied "He said to me he'll catch up to us. He's going to visit a friend of his."
Zeus rubbed the back of his head as he said "But it's almost evening! Anyways, we need the blacksmith to come back with us."
"I almost had him if it weren't for Artemis!" exclaimed Aphrodite.
"My fault? How's that my fault?! We were just following father's instruction! And why just me? Apollo was there too!"
Apollo held her sister. "Calm down, Sis."
Zeus was pinching the bridge of his nose. He thought that they were not getting anywhere, and decided to step in. "Everyone, since Dionysus is still not here, I'll take it from here."
"But Dad! That's not fair! You're not part of this!" exclaimed Ares. They all agreed with him.
"It's not like I'll get the reward or anything. Now stay here." He headed for the shack. When he arrived, he blasted the door with electricity and went in.
Hephaestus had a feeling that one of them would blow up his door. He decided to just get this over with when he saw the god come in.
Zeus coughed. "Stuffy place you got here." He looked around before looking at the owner. "Hephaestus, right? I'm Zeus." He held his hand out to him.
Hephaestus took and shook it. "…I know why… you're here…"
He grinned. "And the answer?"
"…No."
"Well, from what I've heard from my children, your answers the same." Zeus thought beforehand that he can scare the shit out of him with his thunderbolt, but that's like forcing him. Hera said to not force him because it'll make things more difficult.
Wait. Yes! The thunderbolt! Zeus, you are a genius! If his brothers were here, they'll praise him with all the glory!
He said "I'll give you a deal, if you come with me, and free my wife, I'll let you see my thunderbolt. Still not enough? Then I'll let you see and touch my thunderbolt."
Hephaestus could not believe what he heard from Zeus. If he frees his mother, he'll get to see the thunderbolt! Zeus' thunderbolt! The legendary weapon that defeated the Titans! A lot of his fellow blacksmiths dreamed of seeing it. And here he was, being offered by the wielder himself, well, with a certain price, but still- Gah! And he said he could touch it! Touch Zeus' thunderbolt! AAAHHHHH!
Zeus smirked. He knew the wants of his kind, and that was the weapon he wielded. He got this one in the bag. Booyah!~
"So, Hephaestus, wanna see my thunderbolt?" He wiggled his eyebrows for effect.
"…T-The thunderbolt?" said Hephaestus softly.
He nodded. "Yes. The thunderbolt."
"…the thunderbolt?"
"Yep."
"As in yours?..."
"Yup."
"…Your thunderbolt?"
Yes. Wait. Are they talking about the same one? Because there was the thunderbolt, and there was Zeus' thunderbolt. "Uhh~, excuse me for a sec, but are we talking about the same thunderbolt?"
Hephaestus was confused. What was he talking about? Of course they were talking about the same thing. But wait! Could there be…two thunderbolts?
Le gasp!
"…W-What do you mean?...There are…two?"
Zeus scratched his head. "Well kind of, sort of, in a way… What are we talking about?"
"…You'll let me see… and touch your thunderbolt… if I come with you…"
"Right, right. Touch my…thunderbolt...We're talking about the weapon, right?"
He nodded. "Yes… Is there another kind…of thunderbolt?"
Zeus forced a grin. "No. Anyway, never mind that. So, do we have a deal or not?"
It was freaking temptation. He was about to say yes when he mentally slapped himself. He needed to be stronger than this. "I'm…sorry." He then went to his chair and busied himself.
Bye-bye thunderbolt. One day, I'll hold and caress you. One day.
Zeus sighed and thought that he almost got him. He went out and headed back to his children. He noticed Dionysus was there and asked "Where have you been?"
He smiled. "I went to get something from a friend." He held out a wine bottle. Typical.
He rolled his eyes. "Alright, just go over there and try to persuade him. Hermes will get you when your time is up. And if you fail, then I guess we have no choice but to force him to come with us."
Dionysus chuckled. "Don't worry, I got this." He skipped to the shack. He did not need to knock since the door was in pieces on the floor. He just went in and said "Hi!"
It will never end!
Hephaestus has lost count on how many sigh he did in one day. He again turned to see who the smiling god was.
"Hi~."
"…Hi."
Dionysus took out a bottle of wine and a chalice. He then placed the latter on the table and poured some wine on it. He took and gave it to Hephaestus. "Bottoms up!"
Hephaestus watched the god drink the wine in the bottle. After he was finished, he threw it behind him, which smashed on the wall.
"That was delicious!"
"Umm~…Who are you?" asked Hephaestus.
He chuckled. "Oh yeah, I'm Dionysus. Now, let's stop talking and start drinking!"
The blacksmith looked down to the cup of wine and shook it a bit to see the liquid moving.
"C'mon! It's the best, I promise! Look-" He brought out two more bottles. "-I still got some more! We can drink all night!"
Hephaestus was hesitating. He never had wine before. He always wanted to try one but Eurynome forbade him. Nevertheless, he was curious, so he decided to just take a sip…
And Boom! He dropped dead.
It took Dionysus five minutes to realize on what has happened. He checked the bottle he held and said to himself "Wow. This stuff is strong. Oh well, more for me!" And then he drank it.
"Hey Dionysus! Time- What the-!, What did you do to him?!" exclaimed Hermes as he stared at the body on the floor.
"Poison."
"Poison?! You poisoned him?! You weren't supposed to kill him!"
"No. That's what the wine is called, Poison… well, that's what my friend calls it."
They heard a groan which came from the craftsman. Dionysus chuckled. "See, he's just drunk."
Hermes sighed. "Wait! How can he be drunk? How many cups did you even gave him?"
"One. And he didn't even finish it." He looked at the spilled wine on the floor. "Poor wine."
"Let's just get him out of here." They took each of his arms, hoisted him and they went out.
Apollo saw them and said to the others. "Hey, they got him. But it looks like something happened."
When they arrived, Zeus asked them "What did you do to him?"
"He got drunk." answered Dionysus with a smile.
Hermes rolled his eyes. "More like killed him."
"Does that mean Dionysus won?" asked Ares.
Their father replied "Not yet. Hephaestus still needs to free Hera. Alright, time to go back. I'll wait all of you at the throne room." He vanished, leaving a trail of glitters.
"That's fine with me!~ If Dionysus wins, he'll give me some of his desserts!" She made a cute face at her brother. "Right Dio~?"
"Argh! Stop with the flirting already! I'm going back to Olympus!" exclaimed Artemis, then she was gone in a flash.
"She's just jealous!" Aphrodite also transported back.
One by one, they disappeared, until it was only Apollo, Dionysus, and the drunken Hephaestus. The former said "See you."
"Tell Dad that I'll be there in a couple of weeks."
"What?!"
"I still can't teleport with someone."
"Oh." He rubbed his chin. "Well, I still can't transport two people with me to Olympus, it's too high for me. But…I can transport you two at the base."
He grinned. "I'll take the offer then. I left two donkeys there last week."
"Alright, be careful then." Apollo snapped his fingers and they were gone, to the void beyond.
A/N: Man-skirt: There was this type of clothing during their time but I don't know what's it called. :P
