Sorry about the delay with this. It was finals week and you know how that goes.
Enjoy :)
A watched pot never boils.
That's what they tell you.
The more you want something to happen, the slower it takes and I can completely attest to that. I've been staring at this pot of water for at least ten minutes and nothing, not even the tiny little bubbles at the bottom have formed.
I have my head resting in my hand as I lean up against the counter by the stove. I can hear Quinn rustling around behind me and Rachel blubbering on about something from the other room.
Does she ever shut up?
Why isn't it Friday?
Quinn walks up behind me. She looks from me, to the pot, and then back to me. She rolls her eyes and reaches forward to turn on the burner. "See, you would die without me."
Of course.
I grab the stool that I drug over here a few minutes ago, but have yet to use, and plop down on it. I always forget to turn on the burner. What curse do I have that make me always forget to turn on the burner? I slump forward, dropping my head against the counter repeatedly.
"Rachel, for the love of everything and anything holy please shut your pie hole!" I snap.
I got home really late last night, so I didn't get much sleep. Not to mention the fact that I started thinking about my date with Brittany (again) and then I got super nervous, thus adding to my inability to fall asleep.
My eyes hurt. My back hurts. And now, thanks to Berry, my head hurts.
"Santana," Quinn hisses.
"No," I say, "she has her own apartment, that's far away from me, where she can sing all day and night if she wants to," I turn to face Rachel who has stopped singing for the moment, "but you come here. Why?" I plea. "What did I do? Is this about the fish? I can buy you a new one, just please, I can take it anymore."
"You're apartment has better acoustics. Listen," Rachel takes a deep breath like she is going to sing again.
I turn to Quinn with a pleading look, "Will you please control her?" I beg.
"I can't control her any more than you can," she whispers back. "Oh, and you better get ready to go." She points at Rachel, who is now gathering her things. "Just wait for it," she adds when she sees my confused expression.
"Actually, now that you mention it, I do miss Finn."
(Yeah, she named her fish after her ex-boyfriend.)
"We are still talking about the fish right?" I ask.
"Yes, Santana. Give me some credit here, I haven't talked about him in forever." She says while grabbing her purse and jacket.
"What are you doing?"
"We," she motions in between us, "are going to get a fish."
"Can't I just, like, give you the money?" I sigh.
"No, I need you there," Rachel grabs my jacket from the back of the couch and holds it out to me to take.
I snatch it from her grasp, "can't Quinn go with you?"
"I'm not the one who killed her fish," Quinn says defensively.
"Come with us then?" I try.
"No."
"Please?"
"Okay."
"Really?"
"No."
"Bitch."
"Love you too."
I sigh and drag my body from the kitchen and into the hallway to put my shoes on. Why do I always make a bad situation worse? Now I have to be alone with Rachel.
/
"Rachel, just pick one." I complain.
We have been here for over an hour looking at fish. Actually, scratch that, we have been looking at fish for about ten minutes because the fish are in the back of the store, you need to pass by everything else first and Rachel has stopped to look at every single animal, lizard, bird, even spider, in the place.
Rachel shakes her head at me, "just pick one?" she laughs, "listen to yourself."
"Hey, how about this one?" I point to one in the tank. It has big spikes sticking out from every direction on its body. "It's obnoxious just like you."
"No, this one needs to be special. What do you think of this little guy?" She points to a small orange fish toward the back of the tank that's swaying from side to side.
"I think if you get that one, we will have to come back in two days for a new fish cause that one will be dead."
"Yeah, you're probably right. Oh- there it goes," the fish turns belly up and floats to the surface. "May he-"
"Or she-"
"Rest in peace." She finishes. I turn to start walking down the aisle to look at all the other fish, but before I can even take a step, Rachel grabs my arm. "Uh, where do you think you are going?" she asks.
"To look at the other fish?"
"Show some respect, Santana. Lives were lost today." She bows her head.
Is she serious right now?
Rachel peeks at me with one eye and slaps my arm.
I roll my eyes, but bow my head with her.
"Dearly beloveds, we are gathered here today to-"
"Are we marrying fish? Cause I don't think you're qualified for that."
"Excuse me, would you like to speak?" I shake my head, "then please be quiet."
I put my hands up in defense, "fine."
Rachel clears her throat and continues. "Dearly beloveds, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of, what could have been, Finn Jr. It was a short life, but a happy one, and though he-"
"or she"
"or she, was never adopted from this Pet Palace, he will be adopted into a better place."
I look over to Rachel as she finishes her-whatever that was, she is smiling to herself.
"Can we get back to business here?"
After another half hour of 'fishing', Rachel finally picks one.
She literally looks like a kid the with her obnoxious smile plastered across her face and her pig tails and puffy orange jacket, bouncing down the street like a crazy person. I try and keep a good five feet between us at all times, so people don't realize that we know each other, but as soon as I think I'm safe, she's right there.
"So," I clear my throat, "where's Brittany?" I try as best I can to make the question sound as casual as I can, hopefully not alluding to the fact that I have been thinking about her almost every second since I dropped her off at her apartment on Monday.
"She is working on a project or something today. She left with all her camera equipment and said she wouldn't be back until tonight."
"Oh," I say nodding my head, "cool."
"Yep, I think her and Quinn are going to share that studio space her friend let her have, that way, they can split the rent or something."
Quinn was just telling me yesterday that she was afraid she wouldn't be able to afford the rent when this month was over. The person who had it before, one of Quinn's artsy friends, had paid three months' worth of rent in advance, not knowing whether or not they would be back to take it, but they ended up getting a job somewhere, so they said Quinn could take it.
"Speak of the devil," Rachel stops walking and grabs my arm.
I immediately retract my arm from her grasp. "Don't touch-"
"Hey, Santana," a familiar voice calls. I turn my body slightly and see Brittany walking toward us from across the street.
"Hey there, stranger." I greet her, my mood completely changing at just the sound of her voice.
Brittany smiles sweetly at me before turning to Rachel. I roll my eyes at myself for not thinking of a better greeting. "Do we have a new pet?" She asks.
"Yep, his name is Finn 2.0" Rachel beams.
"Rachel, no," I sigh. "Do not name your fish after Finn again."
"ha-ha… Finn again." Brittany laughs.
"Why not?" she pouts.
"Because it's pathetic," I say and grab the bag from her hands.
"It's not pathetic. It's the perfect name for a fish, they have fins," she tries to reason.
"Yeah, but its not appropriate when your ex's name is also Finn," I point out. "Tell her, Brittany."
"It's a little pathetic." She says carefully.
I smile at her then turn to Rachel, "see."
"You guys suck," Rachel takes her fish back.
"The truth hurts," I shrug.
"Hey, guys I gotta go," Brittany point over her shoulder. "See you tonight, Rachel." I briefly get extremely jealous of Rachel getting to see Brittany every day and sharing the same apartment with her, but then Brittany is addressing me. "Bye Santana," she steps closer and gives me a hug.
As Brittany is walking away, I feel Rachel staring at me.
"What Berry?" I slide my eyes over to her. She has an angry look on her face.
"Why does Brittany get to give you a hug?" she asks me with her arms folded across her chest.
"Because she's better than you?" I say.
I start walking down the side-walk. "But you're always nice to her," she says speeding up to catch up to me.
"So," I say a little annoyed.
"Why?"
"Why do you care?" I bite.
"Because it's just so weird."
"You're weird," I say under my breath, but she doesn't hear me.
"You've always got this weird faraway look when she's around and your face is all smiley."
"Rachel look! It's Barbra Streisand!" I try to divert her attention from the subject and, like always, it works.
Rachel whips her head around in every direction. "Where," she cries. "Santana, where?" she grabs onto my arm.
"Oh man," I laugh, "that never gets old."
"Dammit Santana," she huffs. "One of these days, you're going to say that and I'm not gonna look."
"And I will laugh even harder."
"And you're not even supposed to say her name, remember?"
"Why yes I do."
"I hate you."
"Likewise hobbit."
/
Friday
Yesterday was uneventful. I mean, I had class all day, that's always a blast, but it killed some time, so I'm thankful for that. I was so bored that I actually went into the admissions office and picked up a bunch of different brochure's for the different colleges here.
As it stands, my degree will be in Liberal Arts, which is fine with me, but it's just general education. I still don't have a clue as to what I am going to do after I graduate. I picked up a few career aptitude tests while I was in there to, so we will see how that goes.
I have never felt so lame in my whole life, it's my 'senior' year of college and I still don't have a clue.
After that I was just bored again. Bored and nervous, waiting for tonight. I keep telling myself that it's just a date. I have been on a countless number of dates in my life, none of them have been with Brittany, but a dates a date, right?
I mean the concept is the same: dinner, movie, this, that.
Maybe I'm so nervous because I don't know what to expect.
Brittany isn't just some guy. She isn't just trying to get into my pants, though I totally wouldn't mind if she was.
I get really excited and nervous and sick and scared when I think about her.
I have spent most of the day today pacing around the apartment and bugging Quinn, but she left about an hour ago, saying she needed to take care of a few things at her studio, so now I am on my own.
Eventually I make my way into the bathroom to get a shower. I try to take as much time as possible shampooing and conditioning my hair in hopes that I will kill enough time.
It was a pipe dream, I realize as I check the time on the clock. Still an hour and a half away from seven.
I may or may not have already picked out an outfit and I may or may not have begged Quinn help me do that Monday night after our talk.
We decided to go simple, after Brittany told me to dress casual, with the oh-so-reliable skinny jeans and grey t-shirt.
I get dressed and have my makeup and hair done in record time.
Quinn is sitting on the couch when I walk out if my bedroom. She is playing her Gameboy, what a surprise.
I plop down on the recliner and let out a loud sigh. She doesn't respond so I do it again.
And again.
And agai-
"What Santana," she says with her tongue hanging out in concentration, the noise from her tapping the buttons echoing across the room.
"What if she doesn't like me?" I throw my head back against the chair, sinking down into it.
"She likes you," Quinn says absent-mindedly, paying more attention to her game.
"What if people throw stones at us?"
"No one is going to stone you, Santana," she laughs lightly.
"You don't know that."
"I'm gonna stone you if you don't shut up. I know you deleted my game. I was almost a pokemaster."
"I was bored. And I didn't mean to delete it." Quinn ignores me and continues playing her game. "Quinn, I'm dying over here. I need some guidance from my fairy gay mother."
That gets her to look up from her video game. "Fairy gay mother?" She quirks an eyebrow.
"Yes, and I am going on my very first lady date. I need your expertise," I beg.
"Okay," she tosses her Gameboy to the side, "I'm not sure what you mean by that, but I do have a speech prepared." She clears her throat and turns so she is facing me, she looks me dead in the eyes. "You are a strong, independent woman. You don't need no man in your life."
"Thank you, Quinn. What would I do without you?"
I look at the time again and it's one minute till Brittany is supposed to be here.
Fuck.
I get up and start pacing the living room again, chewing on my fingernails in the process.
When the clock strikes seven, I hold my breath and just stare at the door.
What feels like ten minutes have passed, and still no Brittany, and I finally let out the breath I was holding.
"She forgot about me, Quinn," I start pacing again, "she stood me up. Oh, this is just perfect," I say shaking my hands in the air. "She probably realized that she can do better than me. I get all excited and she doesn't show-"
I suddenly feel a sharp pain across my face.
Quinn grabs my shoulders and starts shaking me, "get your shit together, woman. Brittany's not late and she didn't forget about you," she yells.
"How do you know?"
"Because it's only been one minute!" She motions to the clock that's sitting on the TV stand.
Huh...
Just then there is a soft knock on the door.
I feel like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest.
Quinn moves to go answer it, but I have a death grip on her wrist. "Santana, you have to let go," she states. I loosen my grip a little, but I don't release her. "Okay, look. You're going to be fine. You've known Brittany for like a month now and you guys hang out all the time, this is no different."
I nod my head, but I'm still not letting her go. Quinn sighs, but takes a deep breath. "Alright Lopez, grow some lady balls. Seriously, this is ridiculous. I thought you were from Lima Heights Adjacent. Or is that just a ploy to get people to fear you, when actually you are just a pansy ass?"
"I am from Lima Heights Adjacent," I say in a small voice.
"Then prove it," she pushes me towards the door and slaps my ass.
I take a brief moment to collect myself by smoothing out the front of my shirt. My hand is on the door handle and I take a deep breath before I open it.
On the other side stands a beautiful blonde, with a smile that could light up the world. She actually steals the breath from my lips.
Brittany is wearing a cotton white V-neck t-shirt with black skinny jeans and she looks like this? It's incredible.
I swallow thickly at the sight before me. "Uh-, hey," I manage to croak out.
"Hi," she beams. We just stand in the doorway for a few more minutes, taking in each other's appearance. "Well, shall we?" Brittany holds out her arm for me to take.
"Yeah, I just need to grab my jacket," I reach over to the coat rack and get my black jacket then loop my arm through Brittany's.
/
"Now, you're sure there isn't some secret drug cartel going on down here?" I look around the dimly lit restaurant again.
Brittany laughs at my question. "No, I wouldn't take you to a crack house on our first date," she assures me. "I would say that's probably a fourth or fifth date."
"A fourth or fifth date huh?" I ask. "And what makes you think you'll get that far? I still haven't decided if I like you or not."
Brittany's eyes brows shoot up, "well, I guess I'll just have to be extra charming tonight."
After the initial nerves wore off, I realized that Quinn was right, it's just like every other time Brittany and I have hung out. I started to relax and not be so twitchy.
It's still feels a little weird, especially openly flirting with Brittany, but I don't hate it and no one has thrown stones at us yet, so that's a plus.
"So, what's this place even called?" I ask over a bite of food.
I don't even think there was a sign or anything when we entered, its literally a whole in the wall.
A drug cartel, if you will.
"Chang's. A friend of mine owns it."
"Does that mean we get free meals?"
"Sadly no. I exhausted all my free meals here in my first month of college. I was poor."
"College life doth put a dent in thine wallet," I agree.
This place is actually pretty nice. You wouldn't know that from the outside because its shady as fuck, but it has a very 'homey' feel to it and the food is really good. I can see why Brittany used up all her free meals so quickly.
"So, I told Quinn," I say about halfway through our meal. "That I'm gay," I add when she doesn't say anything. Brittany stops chewing her egg roll and smiles over to me. "But," I quickly add, getting nervous again, "I don't know if I'm ready to tell anyone else yet." I look over to Brittany, expecting to see disappointment written across her face, but there isn't.
"Santana," she says softly, "I know things aren't going to change overnight." I let out a breath of relief and relax into my chair again. "I'm not going to force you out of the closet, or anything."
"So, what about you?" I ask. "I mean are you even-?" I don't want to assume anything about her.
"Am I gay?" She asks. I nod. "You could say that," she shrugs.
"What does that mean?" I laugh.
"Uh- I'm...bisexual." She nervously fidgets with her hands.
"Oh," I breath and take a look around the restaurant again. I spot a male waiter. "So, that waiter there," I point, "you want to have sex with him?" I ask seriously. Brittany's eyes widen and she looks over her shoulder.
"Uh-,"
"Britt, I'm kidding." I laugh. She gives me a small smile, "I'm sorry. That was too much wasn't it? No, that's totally cool though."
"Really?" She asks with a hopeful glint in her eye.
"Yeah, I mean- yeah."
"Hmm, not quite the reaction I normally get from other women," she states, relaxing more.
"Ah, you see, I'm not other women," I point out.
"No, you're not," Brittany laughs. "Guys usually think it's cool and that I wanna have a threesome with them and another woman and women think I will end up leaving them for a guy."
"That's society for ya," I shake my head, "but, if you ask me? I say everyone is a little bit bisexual."
"Oh, yeah?" Brittany asks, intrigued.
"Well yeah, I mean, I think we all have exceptions, plus you know, the whole sexuality is fluid thing. I'm talking in terms of attraction, not necessarily who we would date. Like, I am ninety-nine point nine percent lesbian, but there is that tiny, tiny chance I could fall in love with a guy. Does that even make sense? It does in my head."
"No, it does," she says, "I wish everyone thought that way."
"That would be the dream," I sigh.
"So who's your exception?" she asks a few moments later. "Strictly sex though. If you had to pick a guy, who would it be?"
"Oh, that's easy, Zac Efron," I answer immediately.
Brittany licks her lips, "He's so hot," she says dreamily.
"Well, I'm glad we can agree on that," I smile at her.
"By the way," Brittany says, "that guy you pointed to wasn't the waiter. He was the owner. That was Mike."
"Really," I say surprised, "he's so young."
"Yeah, when his father died, he inherited this place. I see him at the gym every now and then. He used to come in all the time, when I just went there to work out, but then this kind of took over his life."
I could totally see why. There are quite a few people in this place for not having a sign, or name or anything outside. It's actually kind of impressive.
/
"Can I take it off now?" Brittany has been guiding me around town wearing a blindfold since we stepped out of the restaurant.
"Nope," she says with her hands in my shoulders. One of them moves down to the small of my back. "Okay, step," she instructs.
We travel up what feels like ten flights of stairs, when a particular smell hits my nose. It smells like paint thinner with a hint of air freshener.
I hear keys jingling in front of me and then I am being guided forward again. "Okay, take it off."
I pull the blindfold off of my eyes slowly. "Quinn's art studio?"
"Well, it's technically half mine now, so. And Quinn helped me clean it up earlier today."
So that's what Quinn was doing.
"I thought it would be nice, so we can be alone and not have to worry about our roommates. I would just like to add that those Fabreeze commercials totally exaggerate their products. "I look over to the corner of the room and see a blanket and some other things. "Oh," Brittany snaps her fingers. She walks over to the other side of the room and flips a switch. The room becomes illuminated. Brittany strung a set of lights across the area. She pulls out a box of matches from her pocket and lights a few candles in the center of the blanket.
"Wow, it's beautiful," I say, turning around to look at everything.
I feel Brittany's arms snake across my waist from behind me. "Not as beautiful as you," she breathes. Brittany brushes the hair away from my shoulder and places a lingering kiss on my neck.
I feel my body relax into her touch and those familiar flutters in the pit of my stomach. I turn around so that we are face to face and lay my head down on her shoulder and just breathe her in. She always smells so nice.
We stand there in the middle of the room for a few moments.
"You want some cake?" She speaks. I feel her voice vibrate through her chest and into my ear. "I made cheese cake and I brought some wine." She pulls away from me, my body getting a chill from the loss of contact, but then she extends her hand out for me to take.
I lace my fingers with hers as she guides me to the corner of the room. Brittany turns around to pull out two glasses and a bottle of wine from a basket that is sitting on the floor. She pours me a glass and then hands it to me. I smile at her and take a sip.
"Do your parents know? That you like women?" I ask, twirling the glass between my fingers.
Brittany is slicing me a piece of cheese cake as she answers, "mhm," she hands me the plate, "they weren't exactly surprised, but I didn't come out until just after I graduated high school, which was also my first relationship."
"Your first relationship was with a girl?"
Brittany nods into her glass of wine, "yep."
"So, when did you know?"
"I think I always knew. It was never a big issue with me. I mean- I never really thought anything of it. I was just like, 'hey, I'd kiss you'," she shrugs.
"You make it sound so simple," I shake my head. "Didn't you worry about what everyone would say behind your back?"
"Does it even matter?" She asks. "If you're happy, then that's what's important."
"I guess," I mumble. I wish it were that simple, but what happens if the people who are closest to you have a problem with it? Are you just supposed to ignore the fact that they think you're being sinful, or unnatural, or whatever? If anyone my father, or my abuela, or sister has a problem with me being gay, I don't think I could stand it, but I don't want to think about that right now. It makes my stomach turn. "So, what happened with your girlfriend?" I take a sip of wine.
"Oh," she looks down at her lap.
"If you don't wanna talk-"
"No, it's fine, she uh- she moved to finish her degree in California, it just wasn't working out, and you know- she cheated on me after about a month away."
"Oh wow, I'm sorry." I didn't mean to open old wounds.
"I'm not," she says quickly, her eyes finding mine. "You wanna dance?" Brittany stands up, extending a hand to help me up. I grab it and she pulls me to my feet. Our bodies softly collide and we start swaying back and forth.
"So what about you?" She says softly.
"No one serious," I answer.
Brittany hums in response. "I mean when did you know you were gay?"
Oh, right.
"Well," I sigh, "I don't really know," I say honesty. "I guess I always had a feeling, but I was too scared to do anything about it."
"Are you scared now?"
"No," I shake my head and lean up to press my lips against hers. "Not when I'm with you."
"I wanna show you something." She backs away from me and walks across the room, toward the large window. She pulls the curtains back and reveals a series of pictures that have been put on the wall. "I've been working on this project. These are all students at the university," she points to a close up of everyone's faces. "I asked them all to write down their biggest fears on a poster board and hold it in front of them." She points to the next set of pictures of all the people holding up their signs.
"See, in the first few pictures, you only see the person and their fears, but as they continue, you start to see all the beauty the world has to offer, and your problems don't seem so big."
"Wow," I reach out and lightly trace over the pictures. "These are beautiful." There are pictures of mountains and fields and the city scape.
I look over to Brittany. She is still studying the pictures on the window. "You know, people think I'm naive, that I just ignore all the bad in the world, but people see what they want to see. It's all I saw for most of my life: the evil, the hurt, the pain," she shrugs.
I feel my heart twitch painfully in my chest. It is hard to believe that someone who was bullied out of high school can have such a positive outlook on everything, not to mention she was cheated on by her girlfriend.
"I spent a lot of time hating everything and everyone," Brittany speaks up. "I hated the people who called me stupid. I hated Amy for breaking my heart. I hated that I couldn't find a job here in the city, but you know what they say, 'change your mind and change your world'"
I just stand there in awe of everything Brittany is. She finally pulls her gaze away from the pictures and finds my gaze.
"What?" She says bashfully.
I shake my head, stepping closer to her. "Just- you," I exhale.
I bring my hands up to cup her face and let my thumbs brush along her cheek bones. Brittany's eyes fall closed at the contact. "You're the first person I've kissed since Amy," she lets out, her eyes still closed. I see a tear threatening to fall from one of her eyes and I quickly wipe it away.
"How long?" I ask.
"A little over a year," she looks away sheepishly.
I swallow thickly, "did you love her?" She shakes her head. "Do you still-," I let the question linger in the air.
"No," she answers almost immediately.
Knowing that makes my chest swell with something.
I pull Brittany's face toward mine, until our lips meet once again. She lets out a tiny whimper at the contact. It sparks something inside of me. I deepen the kiss, moving my hands down to grab the flaps of Brittany's jacket. I walk us back until her back hits the wall.
"Santana," she moans, arching her neck back and rolling her head to the side. I take this opportunity to pepper her neck with kisses.
I have no idea where this confidence is coming from, I just know that I want Brittany. I want her in a way I have never wanted anyone before.
I kiss across her jaw line, stopping at her pulse point. My hands push out across her collar-bone in an attempt to remove Brittany's jacket. She helps me the rest of the way and tosses it to the floor.
I reattached my lips to hers, with new vitality. My hands make their way to the hem of Brittany's shirt, where they ball up the fabric. Brittany pushes her tongue into my mouth, causing my knees to buckle slightly, but she is right there to grab my elbows and steady me once more.
Brittany grabs hold of my wrist, spinning us so that I am pressed up against the wall, pinning my arms above my head. My body is heating up so fast, I can't stand it. She smirks at me before attacking my lips again. Her whole body is flush against mine, as if we are molding into one person.
Everything in my body is on fire, from the tips of my fingers, down to my toes.
My hips buck forward when her lips latch on to my collar bone. She lightly drags her teeth across the skin, giving a little nibble every once and a while. The pressure in the pit of my stomach is becoming too much. The air surrounding us is getting too hot.
I have to turn my face away from her to suck in a breath of air. I squeeze my eyes shut as she continues her assault on my neck, trying to keep myself under control. My breaths are coming out in short burst and my heart feels like it's going to fall out of my chest and onto the floor.
Brittany pulls away from my body. "Are you okay?" She asks softly, concern lacing her voice.
I slowly open my eyes to find the softest expression in hers. "Y-yeah," I croak out. I guess that's as good an answer she needs because the next instant her lips are back on mine.
Finding some strength in my bones, I push away from the wall. Brittany releases her grip on my wrists and my hands shoot to the hem of her shirt. I begin to tug it up and eventually get it over Brittany's head.
I can't help but reach out to run my fingers across her toned abs. I feel her muscles tense beneath my touch. It takes me a moment to pick my jaw up off the floor, before I start stepping toward her once more.
Brittany's hand comes forward to stop me, "yours too," she lets out. In one swift motion my shirt joins hers on the floor.
I grab Brittany's hand and pull her with me so that we are both sitting on the blanket. She begins kissing me again. I lean back to rest on my elbows and she follows, her lips never leaving mine. Her body is hovering over mine as she brings one hand up to palm at my breast.
I let out a surprised gasp at the new wave of pleasure coursing through my veins. I sit up again, and Brittany wraps her legs around my waist so she is sitting in my lap. She reaches behind her body to undo the clasps on her bra. A moment later her chest is exposed. I literally feel my mouth water with want. Brittany's hand reaches out to my shoulder, tracing its way down to my fingertips. She picks up my hands, staring directly into my eyes, as she guides it to her chest.
My mouth falls open at the contact as we both let out a gasp. She squeezes my hand in hers. It's a weird feeling having a breast that's not mine in the palm of my hand, but not unwanted. The flesh is so soft and warm. I bring my other hand up to cup her other boob, suddenly becoming obsessed with the feel of them in my hands. Brittany's head rolls back as she lets out a low moan before she springs forward and crashes our mouths together.
The impact causes me to fall back with Brittany crawling forward with me, her legs straddling my hips. She pulls on the straps of my bra, so they slide down my shoulders.
I feel Brittany's hips starring to rock into mine and, soon enough, mine are too. I just need to feel her. All of her. I sit up a little and undo my bra, quickly tossing it aid with the other clothes. Her hands come up and begin kneading the newly exposed flesh.
All of the sudden, I feel a warm mouth wrap around my nipple. Brittany's hand is tickling up and down the sides of my ribs, smoothing over the surface of my abdomen, and making its way further south where her fingers dance across the top of my jeans.
She is driving me insane.
My body tenses as my mind finally catches up with what we are doing.
I've never had sex with a woman before, and that thought should terrify me, but it doesn't.
"Britt," I gasp as her tongue swirls around my nipple. She lets go with a wet pop and looks up at me, her eyes darkened with desire. The look makes my skin ignite and my body ache with the need for her to touch me.
"Is this okay?" She husks. The sound of her voice alone makes my stomach flip.
"It's just- I've never-" I stutter out.
"Do you want me to stop?" She asks, liking her lips and twirling her finger around my belly button, causing my muscles to twitch.
"No."
At that, Brittany flattens her palm and pushes her hand into my pants. Her hand brushes past my clit and I almost scream at the contact. I'm already so worked up.
Brittany cups her hand over my center through my panties, which are now sticking to me. I can feel how hot I am down there and how wet I am for her. Brittany pushes up, the heel of her hand hitting my most sensitive spot. My eyes roll to the back of my head.
It has been way too long since I have been touched like this. I've touched myself and guys have touched my like this, but it has never felt this amazing.
I reach down, fumbling with the button on my pants, my hands to shaky to work properly, before it finally pops open, so she can move better. Instead she withdraws her hand and I actually whimper at the loss of contact.
Brittany sits back on her heels and hooks her hands into the waists of my pants. I finally get what she is doing as she makes eye contact with me, asking for my permission. I give her a slight nod and lift my hips as she starts pulling my pants and underwear off in the same motion.
I have never felt so exposed and vulnerable in my life. Brittany stares down at me with a look I can't quite name. It's intense and soft at the same time. She reaches up to undo the button in her pants and quickly removes her clothes. I don't even have time to look over her body before she is crawling back on top of me.
Each place her skin touches mine sends a shot of electricity through my body. Everything about this moment is just so intense and intimate.
Brittany's body is laying flush on top of mine. She nudges my nose with her and smiles down at me. "You are so beautiful," she whispers into the air, running her nose across my cheek.
Brittany's hand travels up and down my side. Up and down. Up and down, until it doesn't come back up again and instead finds its way between our bodies.
My legs seem to part on their own accord, causing Brittany to fall between them and her stomach to push her hand harder against me. It's just enough pressure to cause me to squirm underneath her, but not enough to release any of the tension. Her hand traces the insides of my thighs, going up and around where I need her the most. I groan in frustration. I need her to touch me.
"Please," I choke out, rolling my hips upward.
That's all it takes for her fingers to run through my slick folds. She starts out slow, bringing her fingers down to my entrance and coating themselves in my wetness, before coming back up to draw slow circles around my clit.
"Oh god," I moan. My hands reach up to grab at her shoulders. I just need something to hold onto.
My heart is still hammering inside my chest and the ache between my legs is begging to be released. I feel my hips start to roll into Brittany's hand, trying to speed up the process because if I don't come now, I might actually pass out.
She must get the hint because her hand starts to move faster. With each new movement my breathing gets shallower and shallower. Brittany leans her forehead against mine, our breaths mixing together. She breathes in, I breath out.
I can feel the coil in my stomach getting tighter and tighter. Brittany nudges my cheek with her nose to get me to look at her. I open my eyes and immediately get lost in hers. My legs are starting to shake as I near the edge.
Suddenly my whole body tenses as I come undone. I bring my legs up to wrap around Brittany's waist, pulling her close to me. Everything in me just seems to relax and contract at the same time. Brittany places kisses across my face as she brings me down from my high, still making slow circles until my whole body relaxes.
My chest is still heaving up and down, but my body feels weightless.
"Holy shit," I breathe.
Brittany giggles and places a chaste kiss on my lips before rolling off of me. My body becomes cold from the light layer of sweat. She reaches behind her and pulls out another blanket. She drapes it across our bodies. Brittany lays flat on her back and holds out an arm, inviting me to lay next to her. I curl into her side, resting my head on her chest.
I don't think I have ever felt so relaxed in my life, but at the same time so terrified. For whatever reason, Brittany has decided to let me in, to open her heart to me and that scares me. What if I end up hurting her? But that's not the only thing that scares me about Brittany. She scares me because she makes me so happy, I've never felt so accepted, so understood, by another person before in my life. She just seems too good.
Brittany sighs from underneath me and pulls me closer to her body, her touch becoming an eraser to all the negative thoughts I was having. She kisses my hair and runs her hands along the length of my back, sending a new wave of shivers across my body.
Brittany starts to hum, sending a vibration through to my ear. "I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day," she softly sings. I feel a smile bloom across my face as I let out a light laugh, "when it's cold outside, I've got the month of May."
"You're such a dork," I say as I lean up and over her face, my hair creating a curtain around us. I lean down and press my lips against hers.
"Yeah," she shrugs, leaning up to kiss me again. When her lips part from mine, I let out a big yawn. "Tired?" she asks. My eyes are starting to feel really heavy, the sleepless night from before catching up with me. "Me too," she says before I have time to answer.
Brittany turns onto her side. I lay back down with her and she wraps her arms around me, pulling me into her. It suddenly occurs to me that Brittany didn't get to feel what I felt.
"What about you," I say, pulling back from her embrace.
She just pulls me back into her chest, "I guess you will just have to make it up to me some other time," she states.
"Yeah, we'll see," I mumble into her chest, as I close my eyes.
/
"Goodbye, Santana," Brittany smiles to me.
We have been standing in the hallway of my apartment saying 'goodbye' for about ten minutes now. Every time she turns to leave, I grab onto her hand, arm, jacket, anything to keep her near. I just don't want this to end. It was too perfect.
Brittany and I fell asleep earlier and when I awoke, it was to a tremendous ache in my back. The ground in the studio is cement after all and even though the feeling of Brittany's body next to mine was something that could cancel that pain out, I couldn't help but wonder if she felt it too.
"Yeah, you should probably go," I say, but not really meaning it, "you have work in the morning. You might be tired," I try to reason.
"Something tells me that I won't mind," she smiles leaning forward to capture my lips. I hum into her kiss.
"I had a really great time," I mumble into another kiss.
"Me too," she answers. "Okay, I'm leaving now," she says after a few more kisses.
"Okay," I sigh. "Bye Britt," I say as she turns to walk away.
"Bye Santana," she gives me a little wave.
I watch her walk all the way to the stairs, until I can't see her anymore before I turn to enter my apartment.
I really hope that Quinn isn't awake because I know she will have something snarky to say. I open the door and quietly step inside. All the lights are off, so that's a good sign, unless she is hiding in the shadows for me.
I make it into my bedroom safely, I turn to shut the door and then flip on the lights. I still feel so light and tingly all over. Tonight really was amazing. The dinner was amazing, the cheese cake was amazing, the wine was amazing, and Brittany was amazing.
I literally don't know what to do with myself right now, I have all of this excited energy, but at the same time, I'm so tired.
"So, did you have a good time?" a voice sounds from somewhere in the room.
My body twists around to find Quinn laying in my bed, with a book in her hands, which doesn't make sense because the lights were off.
"Jesus," I say, grabbing my chest.
"Its five in the morning," she smirks, "I bet you had a good time."
"What the hell are you doing in here?" I ask, my heart still racing.
"Oh," she starts, "I just like to sit in your room while you're gone."
"What the?-"
"I'm kidding, Santana. I just thought that maybe you would need someone to gush to when you got back. That is what best friends are for, right?" After the initial shock of Quinn being a total creep wears off, I can feel a smile threatening to make its way across my face. I try so hard to fight it, but it's to no avail, Quinn sees it. "Hmm… let's put the pieces together, shall we? Its five in the morning, you haven't killed me for being in your room yet, and you have a smile on your face."
I wait for her to continue, and when she doesn't I add, "so…"
"Someone got laid," she sing songs.
Okay, that's it. I reach for Quinn's legs that are hanging off the side of the bed and pull her off she hits the ground with a hard thud, but the comforter came off with her, so it wasn't that bad. "You're leaving now," I say pulling her toward the door.
"You didn't deny it!" she points out. She kicks her legs to try and get away, put I have already pulled her out into the hallway. "I want all the details in the morning, spare me nothing!" she screams as I shut the door to my bedroom.
"Get your own love life Quinn!" I shout back.
Quinn mumbles something under for outside of my door, but I pay no mind to it. I am so tired right now, my face is numb and my heart is still recovering from having sex with Brittany, not to mention almost having a heart attack not two minutes ago. I just wanna go to bed and relive this night in my dreams.
Over and over and over again.
