I'm sorry for the wait, guys - it took me much longer to write this chapter than I thought (I actually rewrote it three times). I'm finally happy with it…so enjoy and please review!

Chasing memories

The key

When Damon came back, carrying croissants and fresh oranges, he noticed the lack of a heartbeat even before stepping over the threshold. He still turned the entire mansion upside down, searching in every corner of the house for Elena. At one point, he stormed into Stefan's room and found his fakily snoring brother pretending to sleep. He grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, suddenly getting the urge to drive the four wooden stakes back into his body. He got all the confirmation he needed from the look in Stefan's now open eyes. The human blood, the jealousy and his inability to deal with guilt had taken over. The man hanging limply on his arms wasn't Stefan, it was just his body. His demons had finally won the battle.

After accepting that Elena wasn't in the house anymore, Damon started to search for her on the surrounding grounds. In between perking up his ears for any human sound, he sent a message to Jeremy asking whether he'd seen his sister. He didn't bother writing back when Jeremy denied this and worriedly asked if there was a problem. In the end, he picked up the scent of strawberry flavored shampoo, his old couch and human blood close to the edge of the Salvatore property. She was sitting under a massive oak tree, clenching her legs, her face plunged into deep thought. She was slightly shivering as the sun was unable to penetrate through the thick leaves of the tree and her clothes were soaked from the hoarfrost on the ground. Damon let out the breath he had been holding the entire time when he saw that physically, Elena seemed to be fine.

As he bent down to her, she murmured:

"It's not real."

"What's not real?"

"The memory. It has to be false, it has to be."

"Elena, whatever happened – we can talk about it. Right now, can I just carry you inside?"

He took the lack of an answer for consent and carefully picked her up. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head against his chest, closing her eyes. Damon's first instinct was to carry her back to the Boarding House, but somehow the thought of having her anywhere near Stefan made him sick with anger. Bringing her home wasn't such a good idea either, because he would have to face the reproachful questions of Jenna and Jeremy.

Lastly Damon decided on Caroline's place. Even though the young vampire was a loyal friend of his younger brother, she was still foremost Elena's best friend. He speeded towards Caroline's house, hoping that Vampire Barbie's mother was out on duty. The driveway was indeed deserted and so he decided he could risk coming in through the front door. The door flew open before he had a chance to knock and in front of him stood a shocked Caroline.

"Oh my god, what is going on?"

As soon as Elena heard Caroline's voice she struggled out of Damon's arms and slowly got on her own two feet. She adjusted her clothes and facing Caroline, she said:

"I'm fine. Nothing happened. Everything is fine."

Her voice was little to shaky to be convincing and Caroline was just trying to get her to spill more details, when Damon interrupted her:

"Can we come inside before you're going to pester us with questions?"

Caroline nodded and stepped aside to let them in. She guided Damon and Elena into the kitchen and mentioned towards the table. Elena immediately slumped down on one of the chairs, but Damon turned towards the blonde vampire and said:

"Caroline, do you think you can just for once listen to me and do as I say?"

Caroline saw the urgency and apprehension in his eyes, so she agreed and gulped down all the questions.

"Great. First I need you to get Elena out of those wet clothes. Then I need you to make her a cup of hot chocolate. Lastly I need you to just shut up."

Elena remarked:

"I am still here, guys. No need to treat me like a corpse."

"How did you get so wet?"

"Blondie, why is it that you never listen to me?"

"Because you've got a couple of loose screws upstairs."

"And your skull is filled with a mass of cheerleading pompoms instead of a brain."

"Listen Damon, if you think that I am still that naïve little girl you chewed on –"

"Chewed on?"

Elena's voice was an octave higher when she interrupted the two bickering vampires. Damon hastily tried to cover up Caroline's slip of the tongue:

"We dated. Wasn't pretty."

Elena was slightly surprised by this new information, but the cold creeping onto every last part of her body kept her from exploring how she felt about that. Caroline finally pulled her friend from the chair and dragged her into her bedroom. Damon followed the two girls and observed the blonde vampire starting to rummage through her dresser. She picked a simple blue shirt and a pair of jeans. Damon's lips curled into a genuine smile when Elena asked:

"Aren't you going to get out? Or at least turn around?"

Normally this would have earned a sarcastic comeback, but today Damon just left the room, closing the door behind him. Using her vampire speed, Caroline didn't have any difficulties helping Elena to make the change of clothes happen in a matter of seconds. Seeing that her friend still trembled from the cold, she additionally got her a warm grey cardigan. Just as Caroline was about to call Damon back into the room, Elena whispered:

"Caroline, do you trust Damon? I mean, would you trust him with your life?"

Caroline was clearly taken aback by this unexpected question, but still answered within a heartbeat:

"No. I don't trust him when it comes to my life."

She saw a shadow of pain appearing in Elena's eyes and hurried to get the rest of her answer out:

"If your actual question is whether you can trust him, than the answer is yes. When it comes to you, then there is nothing he wouldn't do."

Damon chose this exact moment to burst through the door, interrupting the chat of the two girls. He smirked innocently at a glaring Caroline and asked:

"Well, how about that hot chocolate?"

Caroline huffed in annoyance, but still made her way back towards the kitchen. Just as Damon was about to do the same, Elena called him back:

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Damon turned around, his brows furrowed, his expression cautious and worried. He didn't know what exactly Stefan had done to her and couldn't make sense of Elena's behavior. He hated being in the dark about everything and not knowing how to act. He shrugged his shoulders and tried to sound as uncaring as possible, when he said:

"Sure, purge."

"I feel like my memories are locked. Like they are there, but just not wanting to come out. I mean, I do remember things, but only bits and pieces…"

A discouraged sigh escaped her lips and tearing uncomfortably at her hair, she continued:

"If it goes on like this, then it will take weeks for me to remember everything. I can't wait that long. I just regained a memory, which has to be wrong. It just has to be. It probably isn't complete and was a huge misunderstanding back then…or something."

Damon didn't even want to know what kind of a memory she was talking about. He was sure that whatever she had remembered wasn't misleading at all, but for now he was glad that she was in denial. It was how she protected herself from the harsh und hurtful reality. He was however confused about what she wanted from him:

"I don't think you can do anything about it."

"I want to drink more of your blood."

Elena blurted it out like it was a request just like any other, trying to cover up how much effort it cost her to say it out loud. In fact, this idea had come to her while she had been stumbling over the vast Salvatore property. After she had managed to stop the tears from coming, she had pretty quickly come to the conclusion that she shouldn't believe what she had just witnessed. It was impossible that the one person she trusted most would be a killer. As if that wasn't ridiculous enough, he was supposedly the murderer of her birthmother, which would mean that she had been adopted. Elena refused to go down that road, it was entirely too disturbing. Maybe her ring filled with vervain wasn't as foolproof as Damon thought, maybe Stefan had still been able to use compulsion on her.

Damon was her only straw back into her life, he couldn't turn out to be a liar and a monster. Elena clung herself with black despair to the past hours she had spent with him and the three previous memories. In fact, she didn't have one doubt about knowing the real Damon. Despite all of his claims that she only remembered him because of the blood, she was sure there was more to it than that. She had seen it in his eyes, she felt it in her own heart. She remembered him because of his blood, but also because he was her anchor, because they were connected.

Despite that understanding, Elena knew she desperately needed to remember everything. It was at that moment that she got the idea of needing to drink more of Damon's blood. Maybe intensifying the connection between them through his blood would elicit the rest of her memories. Perhaps it just hadn't been enough the last time and all she needed was a little more to fully remember everything.

Once she had made that decision, she felt better. She couldn't however ignore the small flame of fear burning in the back of her mind: how would she ask Damon to give her more blood? Would he even do it? Moreover, Elena was sure that drinking blood was a nauseating experience for a human and she was crazy for wanting to do it voluntarily. In the end, it was her only choice.

Damon's response to her demand was exactly as she had pictured it to be:

"Huh. You just can't get enough of me, can you?"

"I'm not joking, Damon."

"How is my blood the key to your memories?"

"Can we just try it? Please?"

Damon shook his head, not at all understanding where Elena's sudden request was coming from. At the same time he couldn't help being a little intrigued by the idea, but didn't want to discuss it any further with an eavesdropping Caroline in the other room.

"Can we talk about this later?"

"No, I want to do it now."

Damon smirked, because the old Elena was resurfacing more and more. Once her mind was set, nobody and nothing could stop her from getting what she wanted. This was the same fierce and determined attitude he had seen in her so many times over the last months.

"Why don't you ask Stefan to do it?", Caroline asked suddenly.

She was leaning against the doorpost, her face bearing an expression of confusion and slight disbelief. She had obviously caught every word of the conversation between the twosome and very much like Damon, she was more than just surprised by Elena's wish. While she knew that Damon would never take advantage of Elena, she still felt like she should stop her friend from making a decision she would soon regret.

"I don't…his blood is too weak."

Damon knew that Elena's hastily spit out excuse wouldn't persuade Caroline and he added:

"He's drinking human blood again, Blondie. I know you think he's a Saint, but he temporarily gave his halo over to the devil."

Caroline heard the truth out of Damon's bitter and frustrated voice and didn't know what to think anymore. She knew Stefan only as the good brother and this news was rocking her foundation. She feebly proposed:

"Maybe I could do it."

"No way, Caroline. You're a newborn. You, blood and a human is a very dangerous combination."

"Fine, but you're not going to do it here."

"Can you get me home, Damon?"

-

Only a few minutes later, Damon deposited Elena on the porch of her house and quickly disappeared again, as they had agreed that he would come in through the window. Inside the house, Elena only met Jeremy, who immediately asked her about Damon's mysterious text message from earlier. She told him something about having had a sudden urge for fresh air and hastily made her way up to her room. Damon was already sitting on the window sill, impatiently taping his feet. As she closed the door behind her, Elena became aware of her own nervousness and averting her eyes, she asked:

"So, how do we do this?"

An intoxicating smile started to play around Damon's lips and he replied, his voice low and sensual:

"You know, since I am giving you my blood…I think it would only be fair if I got something in return."

Elena tried to play dumb, even though his entire demeanor didn't leave a doubt about what he wanted.

"What do you mean?"

Damon only cocked his head to the side, doing something with his eyes, which Elena had by now qualified as the 'eye thing'. Elena couldn't help but let herself be sucked in by his paralyzing gaze and had a hard time trying to sound shocked:

"Damon! We are friends! Friends don't…."

Damon only snickered and got up, invading her personal space within seconds.

"You sure that we're just friends?"

His eyes wandered over her face like he was seeing her for the first time and Elena didn't even try to pull away. Damon's eyes had changed from light blue to dark blue and his suddenly glowing face made him look young and vulnerable. Elena had the abrupt urge to lift her hands and trace his features, but managed to restrain herself. A small voice inside of her warned her that she shouldn't just ignore what had happened in the morning. Still, she didn't miss Damon's eyes sweeping over her lips, nor his fingers stroking them briefly. Both of them noticed her skin burning like fire under his touch. They were back in their own little cocoon, where everything that was wrong in the world, was right.

Just as quickly as Damon had closed the distance between them, he pulled back again. Something in the air had changed, all the playfulness was gone. And then it was back again as Damon joked lightheartedly:

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Elena. I only wanted to ask you if I could borrow Mr. Teddy over there."

"The teddy bear?"

"Hmh."

"What the hell do you want with it?"

He shrugged his shoulders and said dismissively:

"Reminds me of you. Now, do you want my blood or not?"

Elena shook her head slightly confused, but quickly nodded in confirmation. Damon looked very business-like as he mentioned towards the bed:

"Great. Sit down."

Before Elena had the chance to ask for any further instructions, he bit his wrist and pressed it onto her opened mouth. She squinter her eyes as the first gulp of blood slid down her throat. It tasted just as nauseating as she had expected it to, but at the same time she felt life, warmth and energy starting to pulse through her. For a moment it seemed like Damon's essence was rushing through her body. She carefully peeked through her eyelashes to get a look at the vampire's face. For the first time ever did she notice the spark dancing in his eyes.

All of the sudden they heard footsteps stomping up the stairs and Damon immediately pulled back his wrist. He blurred into the adjoining bathroom to get a washcloth and wiped Elena's mouth clean. In the end, Jeremy passed in front of her door without coming in. Elena let out a sigh of relief and tried to gather her thoughts.

"Do you think it was enough?"

"Yep. If this doesn't do it, then it's not going to be because of the quantity."

Elena nodded and couldn't help but be a little disappointed as nothing seemed to happen. She tried to tell herself that she just had to give the blood a chance. Damon knew quite well what was going on in her and remarked:

"So what now?"

He wandered over to the other side of the bed and flopped onto it, adjusting his head comfortably on the pillow. Elena laid herself down on her side of the bed and turned towards him:

"Damon, what exactly happens when Stefan drinks human blood?"

"Elena, you have to know that a vampire always craves blood. The hunger never goes away. But over time you learn how to control the urge – if you want to, that is. Stefan has, for the longest time of his undead existence, been drinking animal blood and never learned how to control the desire for human blood. That's why he starts acting like a newborn as soon as he comes in contact with it. A newborn with a lot of repressed anger, hatred and guilt."

"Are you saying that he becomes dangerous?"

"Yes, Elena. He's not himself."

"So, the things he says and does under the influence of human blood, aren't…I mean, he's probably lying, right?"

Damon realized that he couldn't put off the question that had burned on his tongue the entire day, any longer. He had the feeling that he would regret it, but still asked:

"What exactly happened this morning?"

Elena had started to nervously fiddle with her teddy bear by now. Damon reached over and grabbed it, making the stuffed animal sit on his stomach. Elena observed him silently until it hit her: he had been lying on her bed in this exact same position just a few months ago.

With that realization, she remembered everything.