Chapter 8
The skies are clear, but the immense lighting around the city pollutes the night and hides the stars from his view. He remembered being young in Louisiana, he would sneak outside to look at the stars and because they lived away from big cities he always had a good view; even from his back porch. There had been a time, before his mother had passed, where he had lost the part of himself that took the time to appreciate the little things in life. The days came and went so fast that taking the time to notice didn't seem as important. His mother had reminded him otherwise, she had never lost her eye for beauty and she inspired him to change once again.
His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a door opening in the other room. A moment later Elena is at the end of the hallway and at the opening of the living area of her hotel room. She had showered and changed into a black t-shirt and a pair of jean shorts, which immediately caught his attention and he had to force himself to look back into her eyes. They were barely there, and while he had always viewed them as sleazy; he couldn't help but notice she pulled them off innocently.
"Sorry for taking so long." She tells him as she shoves her hands in the back pockets of her jean shorts and walks over to where he is standing at the window sill. "It's a nice view isn't it?"
He nods and looks back out the window. "How long are you going to stay here? I'm sure it's quite pricey." He knew it had to have been close to four digits a night. Everything in the room looked expensive to him, frankly, too expensive and rich for his taste. He liked clean and modern more than traditional, it was a typical upscale hotel room; even with upgrades it didn't quite feel inviting.
"I'm checking out on Monday morning." She tells him. "Then I'm going to be staying with my parents." She bites her lip and crosses her arms across her chest before looking away from him and focusing on the bustle down on the brightly lit street.
"Why do you do that?" He asks; a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. His questions catches her off guard as she turns her head and meets his eyes immediately, as if she had done something wrong. "It's really going to take a lot for me to convince you that you don't need to put up that wall when I'm around, isn't it?"
"Damon…" She takes a slow breath in and exhales before continuing, giving herself a brief second to compose her thoughts. "I'm sorry, it's just a reaction I have. Please believe me when I say that it is not because of you."
The muscles in his jaw clench as he thinks of what she had told him about her ex-boyfriend. He had little tolerance for those who preyed on the vulnerable, but the tears in her eyes immediately bring upon him the feelings of regret. He had never been one to pry and he wasn't quite sure why he was being so overly pushy. "Elena, I'm sorry."
"Don't be." She tells him as she wipes at her eyes. "It's just not something I usually talk about. Hell, I don't even really talk about this." She says as she releases her arms from her chest. "When you get negative reactions you just tend to try and hide the imperfections, you know?"
"I understand." He tells her. "But you have nothing to hide. From what I see it doesn't bother anyone close to you; so don't let one person ruin your image of yourself. It's not good to keep people around like that, which you obviously already figured out since you're not with him anymore."
She nods. "To be honest I didn't really think I was ready to start seeing anyone this soon after. The thought had crossed my mind to cancel on you." She laughs slightly as she looks into his eyes, her tears are gone now.
"I'm kind of surprised you didn't. I'm a gimpy old man afterall."
"Damon, you make yourself sound like such a terrible catch. You're only thirty-three."
"So it doesn't bother you that I'm older than you?" He asks honestly. He bit the inside of his cheek as he awaited her answer, while they were more than a few years apart, it didn't bother him. He wouldn't ever deny someone that he had a connection with and she didn't seem like the type of person that would either.
"Of course not." She reassures him. "Even if it did, the way you are with me would calm any doubts."
"What do you mean?" He asks innocently but with a wicked smile on his face.
She looks at him seriously but with shyness. "I like the way you look at me."
His smirk slowly disappears and his lips part slightly, not ready for that kind of response. The woman could go from being shy to confident in a matter for seconds. Which he found incredibly sexy.
"You telling me I look beautiful does more for me than you could possibly realize. Last night was the first night we went out, and yet you are the only man that has said that to me since I've started going through all this and where I actually knew you meant it."
While her words brought him joy, they also brought him sorrow. He wondered to himself what on earth this woman had done to gain such negative attention. She was stuck somewhere in between being broken and scared and he knew nothing would ever take away her past experiences. But he could try to make her future be filled with memories that wouldn't be so painful to remember. Before he can move she snakes her arms around his waist and rests her head against his shoulder. It takes only a moment for his arms to instinctively rise and wrap around her, one pulling her tightly against him and the other hand on the back of her head stroking her hair gently as they both look out the window.
"I have my reconstruction surgery on Monday." She tells him, her voice just above a whisper. "That's why I'm staying with my parents. My Mom and Jenna are taking me in the morning."
"That's good right?" He asks as he pulls away slightly so he can look down at her.
She shrugs and he can tell something more was bothering her. She should have been excited to be through the worst part, yet she seemed hesitant.
"I'm still wondering if I made the right choice."
"I'm sorry. I don't follow." He tells her as he watches her closely as she pulls away from him completely and walks over to the couch, curling her legs under her as she takes a seat. She is fiddling with her hands and he immediately is determined to make her spill whatever it was she was holding back.
"I feel like I made a mistake not insuring my future of being free of this for good." She tells him. "I should have just had them take both. What if I have to go through this again?" She asks him as she stares at her hands.
He walks over and sits down next to her and puts his arm around her back.
"Elena, you can't live wondering what could happen; you just don't know. For all you know you'll be healthy for the rest of your life and in the process you will have saved that other part of you." She nods in agreement, but doesn't look at him. "Don't even think about crossing that bridge until you know it's necessary. It's a great thing that you're having surgery on Monday. That means you're done and you kicked its ass."
His comment evokes a smile from her and she looks over at him with appreciation but she changes the subject on him immediately and suggests they talk about him. It wasn't something that he had looked forward to, but she had been honest with him and it was only right to return the favor. He already had an idea of what was to follow and he didn't blame her for wanting to know about his past, except for the fact that his past was still too fresh for him to talk about without it bothering him. He couldn't comprehend the betrayal and the thought hadn't even crossed his mind that the two of them actually loved one another, it just made him sick.
"Katherine and I started dating after my mother had already been diagnosed. We ended up meeting through friends and even though I wasn't sure I had time for commit to a relationship she didn't let me off the hook easily. In the beginning we thought we had a lot in common but it became apparent rather quickly that she was more interested in the money I had to offer than actually being there when I needed her. At some point I just stopped caring and I'd spend days with my mother before seeing Katherine, my mother was always my priority."
"That's how it should be." She tells him. "She raised you and took care of you. At some point it's our turn to take care of them too."
"I'm glad you think that way." He tells her. "Because she didn't and neither did Stefan. The lack of time I was spending with her meant I had no idea what she was actually doing, or I should say who."
"How did you find out?" She asks carefully.
"I came home after work to unmistakable sounds. So, I sat down on the couch and I waited for them to come out of the bedroom, which they eventually did. They had no idea I was there and while I could see the guilt on Stefan's face, she just looked at me with this disgusting smile."
"Some people are just terrible inside, Damon. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. To be honest, your priorities are right where mine would have been. There were times when Matt would be mad due to how much time I was spending with my mother. Sometimes I'd fly back here for an entire week to be with her and even though he never said anything, I could see in his eyes that he was holding a grudge against me and maybe even her."
"She just brings out the worst in people. Stefan isn't a terrible person; she's just manipulative and is in his head so much so that he does whatever she asks of him. While I'm still mad at him I'm also afraid of what's going to happen to him when she decides she's done with him."
"That sounds like a lesson he has to learn on his own." Elena says.
He nods and looks at her. "I think you and I both need a fresh start."
"That started yesterday." She tells him as she grabs the remote from the coffee table and moves closer to him on the couch. He puts his arm around her shoulders as she snuggles into his side and finds the movie they had agreed upon renting from the hotels offerings. She reaches forward and sets the remote back down once the movie starts and has no trouble finding her previous spot. It wasn't long into the movie when he found his eyes start to get heavy, and as hard as he tried he couldn't seem to keep them open. She'd cause him to open his eyes every now and then when she would trace circles on his knee through his jeans, but at some point even that didn't bring him out.
Sometime later in the night had had awoken to the faint sound of the television and when he opened his eyes he was met with the unsightly bright light staring him in the face. As he squinted he realized his position had somehow changed and he was tucked into the corner of the couch. The warmth on his chest made him immediately pause and as he looks at his watch he realizes the movie had long since ended and she had somehow found herself hallway on top of him with her head and arm resting comfortably against his chest. He carefully reaches over for the remote on the coffee table and turns the television off, which would have left them in the dark if it weren't for the city lights playing against the white ceiling. He feels for the back of the couch carefully and pulls off the thin throw that was draped across it; he covers her as best he can before wrapping his arm around her loosely.
There was no way in hell he was going to disturb her, because there was no way in hell he wanted her to move an inch. He places a gentle kiss in her messy hair and is met with the sweet scent of lavender. After getting comfortable he closes his eyes once again, letting sleep take him swiftly.
