Title: VIII: Sparkles
Pairing: N/A, Humor
Rated: K for references to Edward Cullen and Jacob Black
VIII: Sparkles
"For the last time!" Akira snapped, turning around. "I'm not a vampire – I'm not!"
"Say what you like, Akira-nee," Hazuki giggled, beating the batter so ferociously that it threatened to fly out of the bowl. "But~ How do you explain that pale face of yours? The black hair? The radiating of coolness from every pore?"
"Not to mention the fact that he sparkles." Meru watched on mournfully as Akira and Hazuki baked, not being allowed to go near the bread they were both making in their Home Ec. groups.
Akira stopped dead. "I'm sorry – SPARKLE? Since when did vampires sparkle?" He knew he was baiting the crazy girls, but he couldn't resist. After all, he loved the classics and last time he checked, Count Dracula, Lord Ruthven, and Carmilla all did not sparkle.
"Of course they do, Kira-chan." Hazuki attempted to stick a finger in the bowl and Akira slapped her hand away, nearly having a heart attack (GERMS!!!). "I thought you owned a bunch of vampire books?"
"I do." Akira said stiffly. He had gone through a bit of a phase a couple years ago for vampire literature. "Bram Stoker, Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, John Williams Poldo – "
"Stephanie Meyer?" Meru prompted.
Akira stared blankly back at the two blondes, who were smiling expectantly at him. As if expecting him to start jumping up and turning cartwheels. "I, ah... can't say I've heard of her." As quick as they appeared, their twin beams slid off their faces faster than a pack of drunken girls in stilettos.
"You don't...?"
"Stepha... really?"
"No!" he snapped, starting to knead the dough with ferocity. He felt rather grumpy at not knowing this... Meyer person.
"H-here, Kamishiro-kun." Meru handed him a book, smiling like a child on Christmas. It was black, with eerie ghostly hands cradling an apple. S T E P H A N I E M E Y E R was spelled across the bottom in white letters.
"What's this?"
"Twilight," they said in reverent voices.
"..."
"Jacob is mine," Hazuki said dreamily, leaning against the counter. Meru whirled on her. "NO! I called dibs on Jacob first!"
"But I love him more!" the orange-blond yelled back.
"Fine then – I get Edward!"
"WHAT?!"
"You can't have them both!"
Akira sighed, and slid the book off to the side. Clearly, the standards for vampire novels were falling like a sack of frozen turkeys off an airplane.
