Well, where to begin? Thank you for the continued support first off, I really do appreciate it. As for the updating, I did warn you in the last chapter they will be a little be slower. Now for this chapter, it is somewhat short and I do apologize. Really its just filler chapter before we get back into some more ShizNat scenes. Anyways, hope its not too boring for you yet, so enjoy!

CHAPTER 8

For a while after this morning in the courtyard I was still a little frustrated with what had happened between the two of us. I had escaped back up into my room annoyed, making sure to avoid all eye contact with any of the medical staff lingering around in the halls. The moment I closed my door -a little too forcefully, I might add- a feeling of sadness overcame me as I remembered the way Dr. Fujino had flinch from my short outburst. Perhaps I was a little to dramatic but I didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to know the answer to my simple question. It's not like it was going to cause the end of the world. I'm pretty sure the Mayans had reserved that date for next year's New Year's party.

A heavy sigh left my lips and I ran a hand roughly through my blue locks before making my way to the bed and plopping back onto it. For once, the sheets and pillow felt welcoming and I rolled onto my side to stare at the plain wall.

She must think I'm a total bitch, but what did she really expect? How did you expect someone to act when no one was willing to be informant? Was I supposed to just forget it all and pretend to be that naïve for her, for them? Is that what everyone was hoping for, that I would just turn a blind eye from all the silent looks and conversations and not question it? That just because I couldn't remember anything I was completely stupid now? If so, then they should be the ones called stupid. I wanted answers. No. I needed answers, damn it. I'm done playing the weak patient. This isn't some sappy tragic drama story someone wrote. No, this is my life, Natsuki Kuga. And all these little hidden messages, these little lies, are coming to end.

I've had enough.

My eyes landed on a gold framed picture Mai had brought some time ago. It was of the three of us, Nao, her and I. It looked as if I was trying to fend off the hugs both her and Nao were trying to give, but I didn't seem to have been making any progress, seeing that both of them had managed to wrap their arms around me, securely. They seemed so happy with their evil smiles, even me. I looked annoyed… somewhat, but I could tell there was happiness behind it. I just wished I could bring forth a second of that memory. But I wasn't surprised when there was nothing, just a deep abyss of empty darkness.

Another heavy sigh left my throat. Obviously, it was a painful reminder that I still had no recollection of any part my past, but there I stood stuck in the middle, slightly frowning like a stupid fool.

I reached over to place the picture frame faced down.

I didn't cry, didn't even feel like crying, I was too frustrated for that, but I guess I wasn't fully over the fact that I couldn't remember anything yet. After all, it had been relatively close to two weeks and the only thing that came popping up was my accident with no help of anything significant. Yes, it was something but I already knew the details of that story and the obvious outcome. So, were did that leave me? Exactly where I started… Nowhere.

Eventually, I had fallen asleep only to wake up in the middle of the night panting out of fear. Sweat covered me from head to toe and I mashed one of the pillows harshly against my face. I was beginning to get tired of having the same dreams over and over again. They too weren't proving to be informative just like everyone else and the more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off. Evidently, I wasn't going to fall back asleep anytime soon, so I did what I did best, laid in bed and pondered about every little thing that I could think of. By the time morning had come, I began to think that maybe I did overreact a little with Dr. Fujino. Maybe the woman did have her reasons, but it still didn't seem hella fair to keep it from me, her patient so to speak. Are doctors even aloud to hide certain information from their patients? I don't know and I still couldn't seem to see the harm in knowing one woman's name.

Anyways, I had managed to fall back into a fitful sleep for another hour or two, and while it would've been nice to never wake up again and just forget it all, it seemed that a small portion of my anguish had settled overnight into an easy medley of regret with a bit of embarrassment around the edges. But I didn't want to think about it anymore. It was too much, too complicated, and definitely too early in the day. I was tired and exhausted and all I wanted was for time to go as fast as possible so that all this would become nothing but a distant memory.

The irony, right?

Just another problem I didn't want to think about, so I finally threw off the covers and staggered weak and red-eyed into the bathroom. I showered, swaying sleepily under the water. Maybe I should call Dr. Fujino and apologize. And say what? Hey, Doc, sorry for being a little melodramatic yesterday even though no one in this god forsaken place wants to tell me anything. But no worries, I'm not upset or anything…

No, no, that's just ridiculous. This was a serious issue and I had to take it seriously. So yes, I'd overreacted just a little, but I was perfectly justified, right? At least I thought I was.

I shut the water off and got out the shower and dried off quickly before hurrying back into my room with a towel wrapped around my body. I got changed and tried to think rationally, but by now my head was bubbling with all the horrible things that would now come between Dr. Fujino and me. All the awkward stares, conversations, glances, even- KNOCK KNOCK-

"Natsuki?" It was Dr. Kanazaki.

"Come on in?"

The door cracks open and he walks in, a small smile gracing his lips. If only I could return the kind gesture. Instead, I attempt a simple head nod hoping it wasn't overly rude but not completely excited of his presence either. If you couldn't tell, I'm still a little grumpy. I assume he already knows of my and Dr. Fujino's predicament, the reluctant head tilt and hesitant smile was obvious enough. He grabs one of the chairs and scoots it closer before taking a seat.

"So." I say.

"So." He repeats.

Great. More mind games.

I sigh heavily, "What can I help you with Dr. Kanazaki."

"I thought I'd come talk to you for a bit. See how you're doing." He says while placing his hands in his pockets like we were going to have a casual conversation.

Liar. I'm sure Dr. Fujino had gone to him and said something.

"Look, I know Dr. Fujino must have said something…" I start, "…And I didn't mean to freak-out on her but-"

"Natsuki, relax." He interrupts and releases a deep sigh too before glancing down to the floor. "I'm not here to place blame on anyone. You have every right to be angry."

I stare at the dark-haired man confused. "O-kay…"

"But you must understand, Natsuki. We are doing this for your benefit."

"My benefit?" He nods, "How is keeping information from me beneficial?"

"It's complicated but you have to trust us."

Then stop hesitating and tell me already. It's not like I got any place else to go.

"Well?"

A deep breath, "We're trying to make it less traumatic for you, to lessen the chances of PTSD."

"What does PTSD have anything to do with this? The accident was so long ago and I'm doing fine now." I ask.

"Yes, but Dr. Fujino and I are trying to prevent that from happening for the near future. You see, you're in a state of confusion and unable to remember events that occur before the accident."

Well duh. I thought that was pretty clear the moment I woke up.

"Like I've explained to your cousin Nao, patients tend to remember certain objects or people that are the cause of such events first. What I'm hoping for is that you will slowly begin to recall the memories of the accident little by little, which will then allow you to progress further, and hopefully, prevent any PTSD from forming. To have to re-live it every day in fear, we're trying to prevent that by having you take your time to slowly remember."

"Slowly remember? Ever since I've been here, I've dreamt about it every single night. Waking up in puddles of sweat, gasping for air only to try and fall back asleep hoping I don't dream it again. Wouldn't that be considered some level of PTSD, doctor? If that was your plan the entire time, well damn, you better rethink your strategy, because it sure isn't helping." Yeah, I was a little hostile with my comment, but the fact that he purposely just admitted to keeping certain things from me unnerved the shit out of me.

His eyes widen suddenly. "You've had dreams of the accident?"

A sigh.

Seriously? Out of everything I just said that's what you're worried about now? "Not necessarily the accident itself." I answer while pulling the blankets up closer to my waist trying to calm down.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"Just things that I would assume relate to it, I guess."

"Such as?"

Jesus, was he being annoying now.

"Such as a car speeding towards me in the dark and a pair of random red eyes calling my name." I say hoping that would appease his curious mind.

I watch Dr. Kanazaki lean back in the chair while pushing the bridge of his glasses up higher on his nose. He seemed to be focused on something for the moment, his eyes blinking every so often as if deep in thought. I remember Nao doing the same thing when I had told her. Was there something relevant with it all that I wasn't getting? Well damn, why does everything keep flying over my head while others seem to catch it?

"Doctor?" I try to gain his attention again.

"Have you told Dr. Fujino about these dreams?"

I shook my head.

"I think you should."

"Why? They're just nightmares really.

"They may seem irrelevant Natsuki but the truth is… these dreams that you keep having, they are the key to getting your memories back." He explained before leaning forward in excitement. From what, I'm not sure.

"The key?" I repeat, and he nods.

How the hell is it the key if I can't remember anything in the first place? God, this is so damn confusing.

I stare at the man and softly chuckle like he was a little crazy. "I… I-uh. I still don't understand."

"Well, it's simple really," I watch as he stands from his position and moves to the foot of the bed. "Just think about it Natsuki. The car in your dream obviously relates to the accident."

"Yeah, but where does that leave the red pair of eyes?"

"What do you think it means, Natsuki?"

I rolled my eyes, "Gee, I don't know, that's why I'm asking you."

He chuckled, "I believe the red eyes relate to the woman you saved."

I pondered on the thought before raising my gaze. I nodded. Although, technically, I was still a little confused about the whole theory.

"What makes you think that's the answer to this whole thing?"

"You've been trying to figure out who this woman is, have you not?" He says and I nod in agreement and said, "Which would be completely easy to resolve if you just told me yourself."

"Yes, very true. But again think of the repercussions, Natsuki. We are tryi-"

"Trying to help you. Yes, yes. I get that. What I don't get is what makes you think the red eyes belong to this woman. It's just a bad dream that keeps haunting me. There's no proof behind it all."

"On the contrary, you said it yourself. You want to know who this person is. So as a result, your brain subconsciously dreams about the accident and red eyes. This could be a way your brain is trying to bring forth some kind of memory of the woman."

"But I don't know anyone with red eyes and it doesn't even give me any details about her." I say.

Dr. Kanazaki smiles while placing his hands in his pockets. "Sure you do. You just need to think deeper, look closer."

Think deeper? The only person that I know with red eyes is Dr. Fujino but that would be impossible. Unless… No, no that's just silly. There's no way it's her. That would be too much of a coincidence. Too much.

"Natsuki." Dr. Kanazaki says and I'm pulled away from my thoughts. "I know this may all seem overwhelming but I want you to take my word on it, okay? It'll all come to make sense sooner or later. Trust me."

Trust? There's that word again and the longer I hear it, the more it seems to be losing its true definition, with what everyone keeps hiding from me, but "Sure." I say.

As if that was the answer to all my problems, he grabs his glasses and places them lightly in his jacket pocket before speaking, his hazel orbs glimmering in the dull lighting. "On another note, Dr. Fujino and I have come to a conclusion that you are well enough to go home within the next couple of days."

My eyes perk up in surprise, "Go home?"

"Yes." He smiles.

Do I even have a home to go home to?

"By myself?"

He walks over to the window to look out briefly before turning towards me. "Well, I assume Ms. Yuuki will be taking you home with her. We've already contacted her and she seemed very pleased, as should you."

"I am…" I say and reach up to scratch the back of my neck.

"You didn't think you were going to stay here forever did you." He chuckles but he couldn't have said it any other way. Yeah, I didn't expect to stay here for eternity, that would just be stupid, but I guess I never really thought about leaving either.

"Anyways," He begins, "Do you have any questions for me right now?"

I look up, "So with all this new information, I suppose you two are still expecting me to figure it all out on my own?"

The smirk on his face makes the corner of my lips frown downward, already knowing the probable answer. Jerk.

"Correct." He says.

"What if I can't though?"

"We'll worry about that topic if the time ever comes." He replies, "But just take my word on this, Natsuki. You will remember eventually. You have all the clues sitting in front of you. All you need to do now is connect the pieces."

A puff of warm air escapes my lips and a quick roll of my eyes manages to make him chuckle. "Easier said than done."

He smiles and drops his gaze down onto his watch. "Just remember what I said, and sooner or later you'll figure it out."

"Yeah… sure." And with that, the man tilted his head in goodbye and left.

I wanted to scream in my pillow but I didn't. The only thing I could do now was breathe in deeply while trying to calm my heated temper. It just wasn't fair.