Part VIII
Jane turned her head away from Loki's deep kisses and moaned, "No, Loki." The ball of light he'd placed in her hand, she'd noticed, was gone.
"Jane, look at me," Loki said huskily.
She pushed out of his arms, needing some distance between them. "Why did you do this, Loki?" she asked.
"I can feel your confusion," he whispered. "Your curiosity."
She schooled her features to give nothing away. Apparently, she had learned more than a magick trick or two from Loki. "What confusion? What curiosity?"
His smile was sardonic and Jane pushed down the desire to smack it off him. She hated it when he would smile at her like that. That was the same smile he used when he was plotting against Thor, against Odin, and whomever else he deemed to have crossed him. It was that smile he used to keep people at a distance, to make fun of them, and to show them just how much smarter he was then them – even when he was completely and utterly in the wrong.
"And they call me the God of Lies," he drawled. "What is the saying you mortals have? Don't kid a kidder. You were staring at me all through dinner until I tapped your foot."
"I was thinking about what you'd be like if you were mortal and lived on Earth," she said and lifted her chin haughtily. "Mr. I-think-I-know-it-all."
He barked out a laugh and she glared at him.
"You came to me when I called," he said. "Why did you do that? Surely you knew that it was I who was guiding you. Did you think I called you here to teach you a few magick tricks? Let you hold a ball of light in your hand? You wanted to see me."
Jane was dismayed to realize that he was right. She'd felt on edge ever since she'd left Loki earlier that day. Dinner had been awkward, sex with Thor had been disappointing and…lacking. She'd been trying to resist thinking of Loki but to no avail. He'd called for her and she'd come, followed after him like some giddy schoolgirl. This would not do. "I had mated with Thor tonight," she blurted out.
His smile fell and his gaze darkened, his face became a veritable storm cloud of anger. "What?"
"You heard me," she said, refusing to back down from him. "He's my fiancé, Loki. I'm going to marry him. It's what people who are together, in a committed and solid relationship do."
"You've yet to say you did it because you love him."
"I figured that was implied."
"And yet you came to me nonetheless. Did he not leave you satisfied?"
Jane made the mistake of wincing at that. Loki smiled again and she shot him a withering look.
"Well, well, well. Seems my brother is lacking—"
"He's not lacking. It's just been…a long time." Even that sounded weak to Jane's ears and she knew Loki wasn't buying it for a second.
"The fact that it was my kiss that woke you must be really grating on him."
Her eyes narrowed. "You're not even sure it was that, that ultimately woke me."
"What if it was? Do you wonder what that must mean?"
She folded her arms across her chest. "You're the one who holds magick so dear. You tell me."
They stared at each other for a beat and then Loki leaned back against the stone railing, leaning one elbow upon it and looking at her. "Tell me – what does it mean to you to be in a 'solid and committed relationship'?"
"It means that I stay by Thor's side no matter what. That we take care of each other and support each other—"
"Much like he did today when he spent the day with the All Father instead of being by your side to make sure you were all right? I spent every day by your side while you were sleeping."
"Loki—"
He moved away from the railing and leaned in close. "If I was Thor, I wouldn't have left your side. After being away from you for thirty days? Nothing could have kept me from being with you every moment of the day to make sure you were well."
"You don't have the same duties as he does," she pointed out angrily. "He's in line for the throne, you're not."
She didn't want to dwell on the fact that she had felt neglected by Thor all day. Had the tables been turned she would not have wanted to leave his side either. It hurt to have Loki point out how Thor had hurt her already and so she wanted to hurt him right back.
It'd worked. Perhaps too well. He charged toward her, but she stood her ground, refusing to let him scare her.
"You don't like it when someone puts up a mirror to your face either, do you?" he hissed.
"You're lucky I don't squash you like a bug for your impertinence, Jane Foster. Who do you think you are to speak to me like that?"
"I don't care who you are, or what you are. I don't care if you can squash me like an ant under your boots." She poked him hard in the chest. "You're the one who is causing mischief and using me to hurt your brother. It's not me you care for, Loki, it's your twisted vengeance—"
"Don't presume to know what is in my heart!" he shouted at her. "And stop pretending that you feel nothing more for me than gratitude and kindness. I'm the one you came to when the All Father hurt your feelings and Thor wouldn't defend you. I'm the one you came to when you felt alone here and Thor, again, was nowhere to be found. You're confused, Lady Jane, because you know you shouldn't feel anything for me. I'm the monster in the family, the evil adopted son that no one wants and no one can love—"
Jane could hear no more of this. She reached up and all but slapped a hand over his mouth. "Stop it! I hate it when you do this. You put words and feelings onto others and none of it is true, Loki. You think you're unloved but you're not. You think you're so evil and wrong and so you set out to be – purposefully – in some sick self-fulfilling prophecy. I do care for you, Loki. I care a lot. I admit it, okay? I'm curious. I'm curious why your kiss woke me. I'm curious as to why you're the only one I can talk to here. I can't feel anything for you, Loki, and not because you're a Frost Giant, and not because of the terrible things you've done, but because I believe in fidelity and I'm betrothed to someone else!" She heaved in a deep breath and shook her head slowly. "On Earth we have fairy tales about this sort of thing. About true love's kiss waking a maiden from a deep sleep. Maybe if Thor had kissed me—"
"He did," Loki said softly. "He did kiss you. Before he left."
Jane shrank back. "Oh."
"He didn't tell you?"
"No," she said and sank down to the floor wondering what that meant – what it all meant.
"Tell me about these fairy tales, Jane," Loki said as he sat down across from her. "About kisses that wake maidens from their sleep."
"No," she shook her head. "I've already said too much. It was a fluke, Loki, and it's made us think things that aren't true and aren't there."
"So you didn't feel the passion between us when I kissed you? You kissed me back."
"It was a mistake, Loki." Jane heard the pleading in her voice. She wasn't just telling him it was a mistake; she was begging him to agree with her.
"So then what do you propose, hmm? We stay away from each other? We pretend that I never woke you with my kiss, that we haven't shared two since?"
"Yes," she said firmly. "I think it best we put it all behind us."
Loki's expression was unreadable as he lifted his hand, looked directly in her eyes, and said, "Very well then." He snapped his fingers.
Jane found herself back in bed, laying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. She blinked. Had that all been a dream? No, it couldn't have been.
She could still feel Loki's lips upon hers.
