Chapter 8: Never Tell
I sat on that log for, I don't really know how long after Donatello left but I could hear their hushed voices behind me. One of them laughed, though it sounded a bit strained. I didn't dare look back to see but I supposed that Michelangelo was trying to lighten the mood I had inadvertently created. I could make out his giggle when Leonardo said something to him I couldn't quite catch. I shook my head. Just listening to them they sounded like the most normal family that ever lived. They laughed, they played, they were serious when they needed to be, and; thinking of Raphael; had tempers just like any normal person would. Looking back on it now, I suppose I had no real right to akin their situation to mine, since they were actually an oops in nature, though an amazing one, and had reasons for hiding other than social awkwardness. I still couldn't help but relate with them. I remember thinking of how I had started the night, hiding under my sheets with my books and how if I had stayed there how much I would have missed out on. Maybe I should have stayed there. Maybe I was still there. Maybe this was all just a dream that I kept convincing myself was reality.
A burst of laughter came from behind me. I don't know what it was but something in the laugh, I guess how full of life it sounded and how… individual it was made me realize something. They were turtle mutants but they were no different than me. Yes I had already made that connection but it clicked differently somehow. Whereas before I was likening myself to them, right then I could see how they were so alike to me. They were just trying to live their lives as peaceful and judgeless as I was. They didn't want a thousand eyes looking over their shoulders telling them they were weird or one of a kind or anything like that. They just wanted to be left alone and here I was putting that in jeopardy. I suddenly felt very disgusted with myself. I hated it when basically everyone I knew criticized me on everything. What they would go through wouldn't even be in the same league as my issues. Clenching my fists I knew what I would do. I stood from that old log and turned for the camp.
When I got close I stopped at the edge of the light. My hands were at my sides, my chin level and determined and the only one to take notice was the rat. Clearing my throat I announced my presence.
"I've made my decision." All four turtles turned in my direction almost surprised that they hadn't noticed me. In one panicked motion, Mikey squealed loudly and jumped up in what I suppose was meant to be a fighting stance, his plate in his hands ready to strike. I jumped back but he froze seeing me. His eyes widened in surprise and slight embarrassment. Grinning sheepishly he dropped the plate, hiding his hands behind his back and slowly sitting down, his brothers laughing at him loudly. I couldn't help but grin and laugh right along. (I will admit it was an odd sense of pride that I could sneak up on ninjas.) "Sorry." I managed to say through the fit. Even Splinter chuckled lightly.
"Sorry, Edward," Don wiped the tears from his eyes. "What were you saying?" I stopped suddenly having forgotten what I had come back for. Then, with a glance at Master Splinter, and remembering who I was talking to, I sobered and repeated my claim. "I've decided what I'm going to do." Their faces turned serious, listening intently. Master Splinter sipped his tea and watched me carefully. I stepped closer to the center near the fire. All of their eyes were on me. The flames danced off of them giving them a ghostly appearance. For a moment I again questioned that perhaps it was all a dream and the vow I was about to make didn't truly matter. But with an impatient gruff from Raph I started off, slowly at first but gaining confidence as I went. "I understand the need to hide; to front people an image in order to be safe. Your image is not being there at all. I don't know what it is you fight or who… but, I promise that – neither they nor anyone else will hear of you from me." The brothers visibly relaxed. Mikey and Don breaking out little grins to each other, the latter giving a silent 'thank you'. Leonardo nodded once to me, grateful intent in his eyes. He turned to Raph leaning against the stump as he had done before with his arms crossed, but a sly grin on his face. Eventually all eyes drifted to Splinter who as yet had not spoken.
Splinter lowered his cup to his lap. He was quiet for a moment as he watched me. He seemed to be considering my speech. I stood still, afraid to move less he thought I wasn't being honest. After a moment he bowed his head gratefully. "Thank you, Edward. Silence is important in the protection of my family." I bowed in return, smiling a little.
"And yours." Leonardo added softly but with a warning tone. I looked at him quizzically.
"Mine?" Donatello leaned forward, his hand out in a friendly explanatory gesture.
"What Leo means is that if our enemy finds out that you know of our existence," he motioned to himself and the others before pointing back to me, "then he will send his followers to capture you and question you."
"And the way they'll question you the next place you'll go is either the hospital or the morgue." Raphael didn't waste time sugarcoating it.
"Oh," My eyes widened slightly at the thought which made my heart skip a beat, imagining a cold room with nothing but a white sheet covering my corpse, or worse, the black of a body-bag with its icy zipper scratching my nose, or my mom's. I hadn't even thought of it before. Splinter's wistful voice cut through my horrid imaginings.
"Our enemy is ruthless. He will stop at nothing to see us destroyed." I looked up to him seeing him smile reassuringly. He continued softly. "But, that is our battle to overcome." I nodded slowly taking it all in. I definitely wasn't going to the city now. It suddenly became really quiet in the little camp and I think it got a little uncomfortable for some. Mikey shifted quickly at my left, grabbing something from his bed place.
"Hey, you want a s'more?!" His overly excited expression made me think he was trying to make up for the previous hilarious fail. I was about to answer him but Splinter beat me to it.
"No Michelangelo, it is late and I'm sure Edward's family will miss him greatly if they discover him gone. Perhaps even a little curious." Michelangelo frowned but kept silent at his father's warning tone. Prevent any possible arousal of questionings. I nodded, especially knowing how interrogative my mother could be. She could put any seasoned FBI agent to shame with just her first look.
"I'll make sure he gets back alright." The gruff voiced Raph spoke out in polite suggestion to the elderly rat. I glanced at him curiously, but only received an offhand shrug.
"Thank you, my son. Come back swiftly, and do not be seen. The sun will not wait much longer." Raphael nodded respectfully. Looking up, the sky definitely was slightly less dark. We'd have to hurry. Mom never slept in too often.
"Don't worry, Sensei. I'll watch out." With a roll of his shoulders he walked ahead of me out of the camp. I hesitated to follow. I didn't want to leave the camp for fear that it all really was just a dream. But with an impatient glance back at me I bowed to the group awkwardly. I wasn't sure if a 'goodbye' was appropriate or necessary but with a nod from Splinter I turned quickly to follow Raphael home. I only looked back once to see them most normally picking up their belongings and begin packing them away. I felt a twinge of jealousy towards the April woman Donatello had mentioned, and how lucky she was to actually know these guys.
….
The trip back was mostly quiet. There were no coyotes to attack us and no chance of getting lost now that the sunlight was illuminating more of the path. We chatted a little, well I talked. He just grunted and nodded his chin up and down every now and then. He must not have been one for small talk. I got the feeling, though, that he didn't exactly need too many words to get his point across. There were differences in his glances and how he held himself that seemed to speak for him.
Soon the trees began to thin and he slowed, keeping to the thicker patches. Several times I lost him to the underbrush only to have him reappear ahead of me waiting and watching. He had his sai out, twirling it in his hands. He'd flip them around like a gunslinger, whipping it from side to side and spinning them opposite directions of each other before one final spin and then holstering it expertly. I reached the clump of trees he was leaned into. His head was shaking and a half frown creased his lip. I eyed him suspiciously.
"What?" He glanced at me pulling the sai again, spinning it.
"You have got to be the slowest walker ever." I gaped at him, not sure if he was joking or not. A sly smirk crossed him. I fought the urge to punch his arm in jest, just in case he'd hit back like with Donatello. However I was brave enough to fight back with logic, what little I had at the time.
"Hey! I'm not a ninja! I can't just whip through like an entire wood isn't in my way." He barked a laugh standing straight and away from the clump he leaned against. A wave of his hand dismissed my remark, ready to get where we were going.
"Yeah, yeah, hurry up." He turned moving forward, not even giving me a chance to keep up. Eventually he left me in the dust again, but at that point I knew where I was.
Soon I could see my house in plain view up ahead. He stopped just before the wood line thinned out too much. It was still a bit of a distance off but nothing I needed my guide for any longer. It wasn't exactly like he could walk me right up to the door. I shoved my hands in my pockets, not wanting to move. He just watched me gruffly, not irritated and not the impatient look from before, but more of a mutual understanding. I glanced at him half smirking.
"Well, I guess you aren't going to be catching me in any mud holes no time soon." He chuckled grinning broadly.
"I'd better not. I ain't yer babysitter." I laughed at that. He suddenly got quiet.
He watched me carefully, his eyes glancing at the knife at my side. The humor subsiding in his eyes but didn't completely vanish. I followed his line of sight, pulling the blade from its holster. There was still mud dried at the hilt. I'd have to get that off before it rusted.
"Take care of that blade." I looked up at him. He was serious but he also was almost, concerned that I listen. He pointed at it staring me down. "If that was my dad's, I wouldn't let it get away." He folded his arms across his chest looking slightly bigger than before. That tough guy vibe rolled off of him. Only, this time he wasn't so intimidating. I nodded, placing it back and locking the leather around it.
"I won't lose it." His eyes narrowed on me slightly and he bent down until we were eye level. He wasn't even that much taller than me, but the stoop made its impression. He seemed to take up my whole vision suddenly as he stared at me.
"See that you don't." Behind it I could hear the unspoken warning to keep my promise to his family. I nodded meeting him eye to eye. He wasn't threatening but I felt like he was making sure I got the point he was trying to give. In the back of my mind all I could think was what if he doubted that I would keep silent. I returned his stare with my own, hard and unblinking, praying he would believe. For a moment we just stood there, waiting for the other to break.
Finally he moved. Standing straight he seemed pleased about something. Was he trying to size me up again or something? I wasn't sure but he broke out with a grin nodding once, and with a great bound, jumped away into the trees disappearing from view. Just as when his brothers arrived in camp. Not a twig moved, not a leaf spoke to mark his passage. Everything was still, and I could have sworn I was alone.
I stood in the silence for a moment, trying to grasp everything I had seen. I had been talking to turtles all night, and a rat. Talking to them! I wondered if anyone would even believe if I ever tried telling anyone. They might try sending me to a psych ward. I shrugged of the idea laughing to myself. No need in tempting that notion. I had promised silence and that is what I would deliver.
Shoving my hands in my jacket pockets I stepped away from the wood line. Out of the shadows of the trees the newly risen sunlight warmed my face, though dew still hung in the open air. My boots kicked up what had settled on the grass and soaking my legs with every step. I shook my head. If mom didn't catch me coming in she definitely would notice the state of my pants. Of course my entire backside was still caked in dried mud. I could hide them at the bottom of the pile and say it happened last week. Or, I could use the hose out back to rinse them off before she found them. But what if she caught me? How in the world would I explain taking a garden hose to my clothes when we have a perfectly decent washing machine?! I could feel my chest begin to constrict as the realization hit that no matter what I would have to face my mother; the ultimate interrogator. One sniff of anything out of the ordinary and she would move in to find out what had changed and why. Suddenly, I realized how futile even trying to hide the evidence would be. She probably even already knew I was missing! Oh God, what if she called in a search crew. Knowing my mom this was not completely out of the question. Calm down. Quit panicking. There aren't cars here. There are no people around. You're fine. Maybe she's even still asleep. She did make meatloaf last night and that always gets her sleeping late. I rationalized the panic building to a low hum in my stomach. No, I would keep this secret. I remembered what they had told me about their enemy. I'll take the interrogation from her. She would just have to understand. I hoped. I was halfway through the yard when I knew my cover had been blown. It was the coffee. I could smell it from here. Most mornings I wouldn't even be functional without a cup, but this morning it only spelled trouble.
Before I even reached the porch I heard the unmistakable sound of the screen door opening, followed by the furious creak of the porch boards as Mom practically jumped out the house. She yelled out across the yard as I neared, "Where on this good earth did you go in the middle of the night!? Do you know I was worried sick!?" I ducked my head sheepishly standing before her still on the ground.
"I… uh… I was just out in the woods walking." Looking up, Mom had a look on her face that meant she wasn't quite buying it. One eyebrow rose fiercely, knowing I was being evasive.
"In the middle of the night? Young man, you know full well that coyotes run at night." I just shrugged my shoulders. I had never been able to get a lie past her and if she kept on with this early morning interrogation, I was sure she'd find out the amazing thing I knew even without me saying a word. I held my breath afraid to move. Her finger was tapping on her hip, her stone gaze piercing me through. I could feel it coming. She was going to know! Mom knew everything! How did I think she wouldn't?! Please, don't break me. Please, Don't break me! I stared at the ground waiting for judgement to fall. But then something happened. Something very strange. Heaven smiled down on me that day. No question came, and I heard her tap her foot on the deck a few times thinking to herself. I looked up to see her arms folding, her gaze softening and her weight shift to one side. Could it be? My mother - was going to cut me a break.
Sighing, she shook her head and put one hand on her hip; the other extended towards me motioning me forward. "Well, alright then, come on inside and eat something. We will be discussing it later." I stood frozen a moment, not sure what was happening but I soon moved tentatively up the porch. She turned away long enough that I stole a glance over my shoulder to the tree line. I couldn't see anything through the dense shrubs that outlined our property, but something caught my eye. High in one of the pines, a shadow shifted under the branches. I never really saw him, but I knew he was there. Raphael. Nodding in his direction, I secretly said goodbye to my new friend. As I stepped into my home I couldn't help but smile, knowing that my mother, nor anyone else, would ever know my secret.
And I will never tell.
