DISCLAIMER: If I owned Pirates, you would know. There would already be a sequel in comic form, or something of that ilk.


The Pirate King slammed open the door of the Barnacle's Face with a force that nearly shattered it. "WHERE IS HE?"

All fell silent, trying desperately to avoid becoming the target of his wrath. "Where's who?" someone was foolish enough to ask.

Snapping, the Pirate King whirled around and grabbed the unsuspecting man's face. "The Pirate Captain, that's who! I'll shave his beard! I'll squeeze him 'til he pops! Then I'll feed him to the seagulls!" He tossed the pirate down, then began stalking about the tavern in search of his prey. "If you're hiding him, you'll meet the same fate!" he yelled as he swung his fist over their heads.

The Pirate With A Scarf winced at the sight, and the Albino Pirate looked positively terrified. They and the others had tucked themselves in the corner and were trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

When he concluded that the man he sought was to be found elsewhere, the Pirate King made a half-baked effort at regaining his composure and marched back into the street. "The pirate who finds him shall deliver him to me at once!" he added before slamming the door behind him.

A head peeped out from behind the bar. Ever so cautiously, the Pirate Captain rose to a standing position. "Well, that was too close for comfort." He then turned to the other pirates with a timid smile. "Anyone have a boat I can borrow? Some maps to France would be nice, too."

They were instantly upon him, hoisting him up by his arms and legs and dragging him out from behind the bar towards the door. "You've done it this time!" "Always were more trouble than you were worth." "Do you think we'll get a reward?"

He wriggled free from their grasp and darted for the cellar door. "Don't I get a say in this?"

They simply continued to advance, backing him against the wall. There was no way out.

"Stop it!"

The Pirate With A Scarf was standing upon the bar and glaring down at the crowd. "Shame. On. You. A man tries to do something right, and you lot turn on him without a moment's thought."

The crowd stared at him with incomprehension. Someone was actually defending this idiot?

"It's all his fault!" a pirate said. "This Napoleon business was his idea."

"And you know what else? It was working right up until Black Bellamy stuck his nose in it." The Pirate With A Scarf stepped down from the bar and began to walk amongst the mob. "I know what you all think of Captain, and I'll admit that you're a bit right - no offense, sir. But that's only the half of it! Sometimes he messes up, but he'll always admit it in the end. When he's got his mind set on something, he never gives up on it. Can he be terrifically idiotic? Oh, certainly. But I've seen him pull off feats that none of you would ever dare try." He motioned for the captain to come stand with him, which he did gratefully. "Now we've got something else to say, and you're going to hear it. Napoleon's caught our bluff and he's gone off. He'll go back to France and get his army back together, then he'll have his revenge on the world for locking him up. And where do you think he'll start?"

The pirates tried to keep their faces calm, but it was obvious that the implications of this statement had sunk in.

"He hasn't gotten far, though," the Pirate With A Scarf continued. "If we all give chase, we have a fighting chance of catching up to him. But he's getting farther away this very moment. We've got to act now, for our own good. So, who's with us?"

"...Let's all go get the Pirate King!"

Laughing cruelly and chattering about how fine it would be to see that stupid captain get what he deserved, the pirates streamed out of the tavern and down the wharf.

The Pirate Captain sank into a chair, and the Pirate With A Scarf steadied him. "I..I'm sorry, sir."

"Don't be. Best speech I've ever heard, Number Two. You'll make a fine captain to the lads once I'm swinging by my neck."

"We're getting out of here," his first mate said as the others formed a ring around him.

"Not without a boat!"

"What about the short man?" the Albino Pirate asked worriedly.

"Oh, forget about him," the captain said bitterly. "He's miles away by now."

While all this was transpiring, Polly was wondering around the room and hacking loudly. The Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate was the only one who noticed this, and he watched as the dodo coughed up a rather large wad of paper. Normally he would have thought nothing of it, but some marking beneath the spit caught his eye. Picking up the paper, he carefully unwadded it. When he realized what he was holding, his eyes widened with amazement. He pulled over Charles, whose jaw dropped at the sight of the find. "Captain!" they said excitedly.

"What...?"

The Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate proudly shoved the wet paper in his face. "This is what!"

It was a map of France - one he had seen Napoleon looking at, come to think of it. "So?"

"Don't you see what he drew?" Charles said, pointing to some black markings on the map. They were smudged from their time in Polly's stomach, but one could still interpret them. Napoleon had traced out a long line which went from Paris to a dot somewhere in Belgium labeled Waterloo. "It's where he's going to strike first!"

"I don't follow you."

The Pirate With A Scarf was beginning to catch on. "What if we were waiting for him when we got there?"

Something clicked inside the Pirate Captain's brain, and his eyes lit up as a huge grin spread across his face. "Neptune's breath, that's it!"

Voices were beginning to fill the air outside. The mob of pirates had returned, and this time they had brought their king with them.

The Pirate With Gout raised up his crutch. "I'll hold 'em off, Cap'n!"

"No need for that, I'm afraid," the Pirate Captain responded as he opened the cellar door. "Come on, lads! We'll show them!"


-whistles in surprise- Ah, the joy of utterly devoting oneself to one's artistic pursuits. I feel so good right now! I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but I'll start in on it real soon. In fact, I may start working on fics a lot more often. Win-win!

~ A. Kingsleigh