Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Byakuya, Unohana, or any other character in this story.

Author's Apologies Part 2: Hey guys! So i'm really sorry that It's been a year since I last uploaded a new chapter. School's been tough. And maybe because I got stuck with writer's block. Please don't hate me. I promise I'll try to upload more often and that I won't stop thinking of ideas for this story. Please do leave a review, a note, or whatever for me. Tell me what you think of Unohana? Byakuya? If they should end up together or not? Just tell me your thoughts! I'd appreciate it very much! And about the title change, I think I'm too lazy to change it. That or I'm just a bit lacking in the creativity department.

Not Just a Mother Figure

Chapter 7

After a storm has passed, it leaves behind its mark, seen and unseen.

Trees uprooted, roofs ripped of houses, debris, garbage and all kinds of wreckage strewn across the streets, mud splattered on walls and on front doors, the smell of nature, strong, unyielding and absolutely devastating. What destruction takes place in your surroundings is truly upsetting. But in time, trees will grow back, roofs will be rebuilt, streets will be cleaned and the mud will be washed away.

It is the pain and loss planted in the hearts of the people that take the longest time to heal.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Unohana was greatly confused.

She was the Captain of the 4th Division. She was the best healer in Shinigami history that Soul Society has ever seen. She always had total control over herself—aside from that little slip in her past. She was the one you could always trust to keep her cool in times of emergencies. She never acted out of compulsion. She was the level-headed one, the compassionate captain who was deemed as wise as she was beautiful. She held knowledge that most of the shinigami could only dream of acquiring. She was powerful, learned, polished, courteous, and graceful. She was the living archetype of a successful and prosperous single woman. She earned her way to the top without any help from anyone other than herself. Every female shinigami looked up to her in hopes of becoming just like her, radiant and unfettered by a man at her side.

She knew who she was and how others knew who she was. She had never doubted herself in a long time. Not until today. Unohana felt as if the walls she had built around her to protect herself from hurt was starting to collapse. She had sworn never to fall again into the fickle hands of Eros. The consequences were too painful, she believed.

But she wasn't always this way. Once, long ago, she believed that love conquered all. Love made the world go round. Nothing else mattered aside from love. But not anymore. Love was not for her, she kept telling herself, especially whenever she sees a couple so deeply in love with each other. It kept the loneliness at bay. Usually.

Unohana was proud of the way she maintained her singleness. She put great amounts of effort in the way she turned down row upon row of suitors eager to take her out for dinners, picnics, holiday celebrations, festivals, movies, walks, and so on. Even though she never said yes to any man who showed even the slightest romantic attachment for her, she made sure they were rejected with the least possible damage to their self-esteem.

Most people thought she didn't date because she was already with the Captain Kuchiki, who was understood by the general public as her closest friend. Or his closest friend. Such nuances did not merit much significance as the whole point of the matter was that they were together and that was that. After all, Byakuya Kuchiki was the one male shinigame she had ever agreed to go out with. And he was also the one she was always being seen with at parties, festivities and the like. Being wrong did not occur in the minds of the people for the couple did not even bother to change this preconceived notion.

But they are wrong.

The only reason why Unohana agrees to accompany Byakuya to special events was that he held no romantic attraction or whatsoever towards her. He would never make any attempt to lure her into the treacherous web called Love. That the best they could ever be was the best of friends.

And knowing that he would never fall in love with her, she thought she was safe.

But I was wrong.

No, she could never have been more wrong. Not even her error in this whole Aizen business could surpass how wrong she was with. She never once thought that acting mother to a beautiful child would have any serious consequences. She never thought watching a beautiful child transform into an even more beautiful man could do her any harm. She never pondered about how being best friends with the most sought after shinigami in Soul Society would affect her little by little, without her even noticing. She never would have considered her maternal love, turned into philial love, would turn into anything else.

Well, she was wrong... She had done the one thing she had sworn never to do. She had fallen in…

No. She thought, shutting her eyes. Not even in the safe confines of my mind will I admit it out loud.

Something unpleasant bubbled up inside of her from the pit of her stomach, rising higher and higher, invading her lungs and up her throat, blocking her airways and preventing her from breathing. Her tear glands started acting up and her hands were clenched so tightly that her knuckles went white. The feeling of panic invaded her whole system and she gasped for air, choking on her gloomy thoughts.

Reaching for the teacup resting serenely beside her quaking body, she drained its contents in a single gulp in hopes of drowning out her panic and sorrows before they could escape her mouth. For if they did, she feared they would all become more real, and her secret would be revealed, exposed for the whole world to see, pity and mock. She knew she was being irrational but she couldn't help it. She was so caught up in her woeful reflection she did not even notice that her tea had gone cold and bitter. The burning candle on her right was almost at its end and the shadows in her room were growing darker and darker as her countenance grew grimmer and grimmer. Her long black hair was unbound, curtaining her pale face. Her fingers were trembling—from the cold or from anxiety, she didn't know. She grabbed a thin lock of her hair and started braiding, just to keep her hands busy. It was a habit she had developed when coping with stress.

How could she have not seen this coming? She was always praised as the woman with the most accurate foresight and she never even had the slightest clue that she was falling in—Unohana jerked violently. No! I will not say it. How can I? With a man who only saw her as his adoptive mother? A man who was not even half her age! Maybe not even a quarter! She shook her head hard, wishing these thoughts to be thrown out of her mind and through her ears.

Frustrated at herself, she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Breathing deeply and struggling to remain calm, she willed herself to start thinking more clearly.

Okay, now Retsu, think. How did this happen? How could you betray him with these shameful thoughts? How could you risk losing the friendship and trust he willingly gave you when he grudgingly gives it away to others? Remember, when did this start? What started this? How? Why?

Unohana was the perfect look of concentration. Thinking back to the times when she and Byakuya were together, she wondered for the second time how in heaven's name did she not see this coming. She saw in her mind's eye the two of them sharing tea and just talking about all matters under the sun, saw them star-gazing whenever they were inclined for an evening walk, saw them writing calligraphy for the Calligraphy Club in his manor, saw her teaching him origami, everything that might give her the answer as to how this all began. She thought of how deceptive his thin build was and how much strength was hidden beneath his lean muscles. She thought of how his ebony hair complimented his ivory skin, She beheld his beautiful silver gray eyes, interspersed with hints of blue at the right moments, that revealed secrets only she could see, or so she wanted to believe. She felt his soft and gentle hand holding hers. She smelled the sweet smell of cherry blossoms that enveloped her whenever he was near. She knew almost every physical feature of his in excruciating detail.

She remembered the panic and desperation that threatened to take hold of her when she was told that he took a sword through his chest. She saw the blackness and despair of never being able to see him again.

Unohana felt an overwhelming urge to hold her head in her hands, but she resisted and just exhaled loudly.

Why do we always happen to be together? If we weren't, I would have never known him this well. Ever since Hisana died, we've been—

With a sharp intake of breath, Unohana straightened up so abruptly, the motion made her a little woozy and she could have sworn she heard her back crack.

That's it! Ever since that tragedy, we've spent more and more time together. I started to see him as the grown man he has become and I probably started developing feelings of attraction. It's basic biology. My hormones got a little out of control because that is the ordinary response Byakuya is capable of inducing. His skill and proficiency with these powers of attraction must indeed be great if he is capable of bringing out these previously dormant emotions from a centuries-old woman.

The corners of Unohana's lips twitched at her wry thoughts.

But I'm sure that with the right amount of time and proper calculated distance apart each other, I can most definitely fix this problem as easy as one, two, three.

Unohana grinned in relief, her mood lightening up for the first time since she had entered her quarters, oblivious to the candle beside her which had completely died out and that she hadn't slept the entire evening. Yet a thought entered her head and the grin left as quickly as it came. How was she going to start avoiding Byakuya without him noticing?

Unohana furrowed her brow. She had finally stopped braiding and her hair was fixed into tiny little braids.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Two weeks have passed since the dawning of Aizen's betrayal. Each and every division of the Gotei 13 has been in an uproar searching for clues and other treachery that Aizen and his accomplices might have left behind. But even though their perfidy was felt by all the divisions, nothing could have compared to the wounds that were left in the 3rd, 5th, and 9th division. Each division is a family. You take any one member out and you leave a hole. It becomes incomplete. Lacking. Bereft. Multiply this hole a thousand times over and you might begin to understand how it feels to have your captain abandon your squad. The pain is unbearable. Yet, the shinigami move on. Already, new captains are being decided to fill the abandoned positions. Weekly captain meetings and vice-captain meetings have turned daily. Stricter law implementation, more stringent documentation processes, and more extensive background checks have been set up in a desperate attempt to stabilize the Gotei 13 led by the Captain-Commander and the remaining captains. No one had the desire to protest against this sudden conversion into martial law. Indeed, though the colors of grief have been painted in the hearts of the shinigami, there is an unmistakeable splash of anger, a raw shade of red. Burning. Throbbing. And painful.

Lined up in two neat columns, nine captains stood grimly, refusing to land their eyes on the gaps where the traitors once stood. Yamamoto sat at the head of the small assembly, the lines on his faces standing out more prominently than ever in the fading light of the sun. Ukitake's voice rang in the air, soft yet solid.

"Thrusting the responsibilities of a captain to grieving vice-captains is cold-blooded, if not rash and unwise. The aptitude shown by these vice-captains is undeniable. I do not doubt that they have the potential to be great leaders. But the time is not right. I suggest that a few months should be given as an allowance for them to adjust without their captains."

"I agree with Ukitake-taichou," Kyōraku spoke, his characteristic indolence temporarily buried to pay respect to the numerous wounded shinigami. "As we speak, Hinamori-fukutaichou is currently lying in a bed, unconscious. Her recovery is slow. It might even take her several months to stand up, a year to fully recover. Isn't that so, Unohana-taichou?"

"Yes. Hinamori-fukutaichou has suffered from critical physical injuries, but there are mental and emotional wounds as well. Her body is healed and she no longer breathes with difficulty. But her spirit is broken. That is something I cannot heal. She, herself, must regain the will to live."

At the corner of her eye, Unohana saw Hitsugaya gaze drop down to the floor. It was really a miracle how he was up and running just a few days after his almost-death. His reiatsu was tremendous. His will to live was strong. A true child prodigy.

Komamura, who had remained silent until now, spoke up. "It is inspiring, Unohana-taichou, how you managed to underplay your healing abilities. We all know that countless shinigiami would not even have the chance to breathe once again if it were not for you. Truly, you should be rewarded for your noble deeds."

Nods and exclamations of approval were made all around her, with the small exception of Zaraki who merely looked bored.

"I consider it my duty and honor, Komamura-taichou, to help save the lives of those in need," Unohana smiled. Beside her, she could feel Byakuya's reiatsu gently touch her. A gesture of gratitude for saving his life as well. What Byakuya lacked in words, he made up for in action and deed, subtly, sometimes barely perceptible, yet always sincerely.

"Indeed, Unohana-taichou's skill and power is manifest and staggering. But going back to the topic on hand, Ukitake-taichou, Kyōraku-taichou, are you suggesting that we leave the captain positions vacant? Aizen has fled but only temporarily. He will come out of hiding once he sees that his forces are sufficient. We cannot afford to leave holes in the Gotei 13 for them to exploit," Soifon argued, her expression haughty as usual. It was no secret that she thought of her division more highly than the others.

Kurotsuchi spoke in his eerie, high voice, sounding mildy uninterested. "You argue whether these vice-captains should be promoted or not. I believe you are approaching this dilemma erroneously. What we should be deciding is whether these vice-captains even meet the requirements that are demanded in a captain. Do any of you have evidence that they have already achieved their bankai?"

Silence.

Kurotsuchi smirked. "Then I believe there is no one qualified to assume captaincy."

"Bullshit, I made it here without even knowing what my katana's name is," Zaraki growled. "So don't go talking about shit you don't even know, ass—"

"That is enough." Yamamoto held up his hand, signs of impatience surfacing under his cool façade.

Byakuya's voice cut through before Kurotsuchi or Zaraki could make a protest. "The positions for the Kidō Corps commander and chief have remained vacant for over a century now. I presume their 3rd seated officer has assumed leadership of the corps. There is no noticeable strain on its members. Otherwise, we would have been informed if ever there was a problem. And as far as I recall, there has been no announcement of any shinigami being appointed for these roles since the disappearances of former Kidō Corps commander Tessai Tsukabishi and his lieutenant Hachigen Ushōda."

Another moment of silence wrapped around the captains. The mystery of the said Kidō Corps officers was something rarely discussed. And whenever it is brought up, it never fails to bring about a sense of reverence, some discomfort, but most of all, transparent curiosity. Some of the captains, Unohana and Byakuya included, had been offered to take up the vacant position. But Unohana declined, saying she had more use in the 4th division. She never did find out why Byakuya declined as well. But whatever the reason was, she was grateful. To become the Kidō Corps commander would mean to lead a life of secrecy. She would hardly be able to see Byakuya again. Perhaps never.

"Kuchiki-taichou is right," Ukitake-taichou was the first to speak up. "The success of a squad must not be determined by its possession of a captain. It should be measured by the efficiency and effectiveness of its management and execution of its duties."

Soifon opened her mouth as if to argue, but thought better of it. Pressing her lips together, she nodded once, folded her thin arms inside the loose sleeves of her haori, and glared at the wooden floor.

"Let's now have a vote," Yamamoto declared. "Those in favor of leaving these captain positions open, please raise your hand." With the sound of rustling clothing, one by one, the captains raised their hands. Even Soifon did, although grudgingly.

"It is decided then. The delegation of the 3rd, 5th, and 9th Divisions' positions for captaincy is hereby deferred. Until a suitable replacement has been found and approved by the Captain's Council, the aforementioned positions shall remain vacant. The untaken duties and responsibilities shall be allocated to each division's remaining officers in proportion to the level of each officer. Now let's move on to the subject of additional intensive training in preparation for the upcoming winter war…"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Night had fallen when the Captain's Council meeting ended. Street lamps glowed and cast yellow circles on the streets, walkways, and the wooden verandas that connected from building to building.

Walking side by side, Unohana and Byakuya passed beneath the shadows and the periodic spheres of yellow light. Unohana noted the usual silence enveloping them. Except this time, she felt slightly uncomfortable walking together with him. She willed that he won't notice her discomfort. She felt guilty for wanting to reach the 4th Division barracks as quickly as possible.

"When shall we meet for tea again?"

She felt herself tense up. She was 99 percent sure he felt it, too. "Well, Kuchiki-taichou, it is going to get very busy for all the Gotei 13, with the preparation for the war and everything. It might be for the best that we postpone our meetings until the tension surrounding Seireitei has let up. Besides—oh, what are you doing, Kuchiki-taichou—"

Byakuya had turned around to face her abruptly. His expression still, but his eyes confused, suspicious and, if Unohana was not mistaken, wounded. She wanted to shrink away from him, yet his eyes rooted her to the earth. "Unohana Retsu, until when shall you keep doing this? I know when you are not telling the truth."

Unohana's heart dropped into the bowels of her stomach and she felt an invisible hand clench her throat. She considered telling him she had no idea what he was talking about. She couldn't believe that he actually even suspected that she was avoiding him. "I—Please Kuchiki-taichou, let us talk about this some other time." She wanted to say that she was tired, that Isane was waiting for her. But she felt that she really couldn't lie to him any further. Plus, the look in his eyes made her feel as if she were wearing a headband with the word GUILTY written on it.

Ever since the night she shared the song and the story to him, she had been avoiding him like the plague. It was easier than she had expected since there really was a lot of things that needed to be done. Not necessarily done by her, but she helped every chance she got. She couldn't explain it. He unnerved her now that she knew she was developing some "feelings". She had been sure he wouldn't notice their lack of interaction. At least she had hoped so.

After his release from the Sōgō Kyūgo Tsumesho, or the Seireitei's primary medical facility, he made no comment when she didn't show up for their usual tea dates. He attributed her absence to the additional chores that needed to be done to fix the mess Aizen left. But just several days ago, he showed up on her door, in the 4th Division Barracks, and was met by a nervous Isane telling him her captain had given orders not to be disturbed unless of an emergency. She never turns him away. Never. Not once. So, it was then that he began to suspect that she might be evading him after all. For what reason, he did not know. It was only now that he was able to get her alone again. And if he had his way, he was going to find out what had gotten into her. And if Unohana had her way, he was never going to.

The truth?

She was scared.

Scared of the feeling she gets when he's around. Scared of the way her skin tingles every time he touches her. Scared of the way her heart flutters every time he says her name. Scared of the way his eyes bore into hers. Scared of the secrets that he might see hidden inside her. Scared of looking inside her heart. Scared of what her heart might reveal. Scared of…

"There is no time like the present. I am certain that if I let you go now, it will surely be a challenge catching you again."

Unohana blushed. She angrily wondered why he had to be so close. She tried to take a step back, only to force him to grab her wrist. It used to be uncharacteristic of him to show physical gestures in public. But now, it was as if he didn't mind at all. "How did you come up with this nonsense? I am not—"

"You are angry with me. For what I did to Rukia. I knew it."

"Byakuya," she said sharply, momentarily forgetting not to speak his first name. "I am not angry with you. What is there for me to be angry at? I promise you, it has nothing to do with that."

"Then what is it?" he challenged.

"It's…" she stumbled. "I…"

He raised one perfect eyebrow. "It is because of the rumors then."

Unohana could feel her blush deepening. There had been some stories going around since Unohana came out of Byakuya's hospital room, her hair unbound, looking slightly flustered. It was to her dismay that a group of nurses had been loitering in the hallway outside. Their fear of her had apparently been overcome by their need to spread some gossip about her and the 6th division's captain.

She took a deep breath. The situation was getting out of hand. She needed to get it under control, in her favor. Taking his hand and gently peeling it from her wrist, she said "Kuchiki-taichou." He tensed up, almost imperceptibly, as she called him again by his formal title. She looked at him sadly. "The rumors are nothing but rumors. There is no reason for me to be bothered by them."

No reason, but it doesn't mean that she wasn't. As much as she hated to admit it, she had a reputation to uphold.

Locking her eyes with his, she wanted to look down at her hands, at the floor, at his shoes, at her shoes. But she didn't. She felt as if she owed him that. "I'm sorry. Maybe I will tell you one day. But right now, I simply cannot. Please, trust me that it is for your best interest that I am doing this." It was true. She must avoid him until this feeling of… whatever it was she was feeling, went away. It was for their own good.

Byakuya's lips formed into a thin line. His eyes were sharp like daggers. His entire demeanor turned cold. "I see."

Unohana felt her heart fight back to stop him from becoming so aloof. She almost reached out to him but caught herself at the last minute. "It will not be for ever," she said weakly. "This, I believe and earnestly hope for, shall come to pass." It must.

Byakuya still looked a bit remote but finally nodded. He turned around and stepped back beside her. Unohana understood what he was going to do. He was still going to walk her back to her quarters, even after she indirectly admitted that she was avoiding him. Why does he always have to be the gentleman, she thought fondly.

The walk back was awkward, for Unohana at least. She didn't understand why he wasn't furious with her. If he was, he hid it perfectly. She peeked at him from the corner of her eye. She noted that his lips were still slightly pressed together. So he is a little angry. But not as upset as I thought he would be. Unohana wondered if this was the result of him still hoping that she will get over with this soon. Or that their friendship didn't mean to him as much as it meant to her. Her heart constricted at the thought. No. I know he values our friendship. He said he loves me.

Love. Such a simple word. Yet it has stricken fear into the great healer's heart.

Unohana loved many people. And they loved her back. She understood what the word meant. She understood the loyalty and sacrifice that comes with it.

She knew that she loved Byakuya. She had always told him so, when he was still a young child. But now, why did she feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, and awkward whenever the words love and Byakuya were paired to each other?

As they passed 3rd Division barracks, the covered pathway split into two: one going north, where the noble families lived, and the other going deeper into the heart of Seireitei, where the other barracks were. They paused for a moment. She turned to him. "Thank you for walking with me, Kuchiki-taichou. It has been a long day. I am sure that you want to return home now and rest. I can make it back home now from here by myself."

"Unohana-taichou, if I had wanted to return home immediately, I would have just shunpo-ed home." But I didn't, he seemed to imply.

"Oh. Then, I can't argue with that." He seemed determined to walk her back until they reached the 4th Division barracks. Shrugging to herself, she let him continue to walk with her. They took the path that led to the rest of the Gotei 13 barracks.

"I have been informed that you're planning an excursion. When do you leave?"

She shot him a glance, surprised that he would be interested. Unohana occasionally went out to the mountains of Rukongai in search of medicinal herbs and whatnot. She grew wary at his sudden inquiry. "I am planning to take several of my officers with me this time, actually. Just a bit of review for them of finding and recognizing the right herbs for the right injuries."

Byakuya simply looked at her, waiting. And? she almost heard him say.

"I leave on the eve of the third day from today."

"Hm."

She let out a chuckle. "These trips are always amusing whenever I bring someone along, in all honesty. One time, I brought Isane with me and she kept mistaking marijuana for some harmless weed. She took a liking to it because it smelled pleasant. She took some and thought of making tea with it. Or maybe she used them to start a fire. I do not quite remember now. But what a mess that was! Imagine! Marijuana tea? I never experienced that problem with Seinosuke. In fact, he was quite the herb prodigy. Though there was this one time…"

Her words trailed off. She turned to see that Byakuya had stopped walking again. He was looking at her, amused. "Oh. I was rambling, wasn't I?"

"We're here."

"Oh." She was so nervous she forgot they were already standing outside her division's headquarters. She could see the shinigami on night guard duty looking at them, alert and expectant. "Well, it was nice of you to walk me home, Kuchiki-taichou. Until then, goodbye and good night." She turned to head inside, but was stopped by something gripping her sleeve.

"Yes?" Unohana looked at him curiously. And that was when she realized that this was probably going to be their last moment alone together. Her heart sank as she understood that if she really wanted to continue loving him the way she used to, she would stay away.

He really is so beautiful, up close.

She couldn't imagine not being able to joke with him again, or hold his hand, or hug him, or kiss him on the forehead. But she must be strong. Until she was able to force her body not to react to him in ways that make even her blush, she was not going near him ever again, heaven help her.

In a low voice, he spoke to her, his words not reaching the night guards. "Unohana Retsu, you need not tell me everything. You have secrets, I know that very well. I've known you for more than half a century, and yet I am aware that there is still a lot about you that I do not know. I have always been most honest with you, even more than I have with my parents—even with Hisana" He paused, and continued ever more softly. "Do not lie to me."

Unohana barely heard it. But there it was on his lips, carried forth by the wind towards her ears, like a soft, sweet kiss.

The word please.

She almost cried. In a heartbeat, she folded her hands and bowed. That night, under the dim glow of the incandescent lamps that adorned the entrance of the 4th division, she made the biggest mistake of her entire afterlife.

"I promise, Byakuya. I will not lie to you."

If only she had given it even an extra second of thought, things might have ended differently. But what's done is done. She will bind herself to this promise, even if it killed her.

Before she could protest, she felt him touch her chin and gently lift up her bowed head. A hint of a smile played on his lips. For one moment, an unbidden thought flashed in her mind and she thought he was going to kiss her. Anticipation and hope consumed her. She dared not take one breath.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Just as she thought her mind couldn't take it any more and she would lose herself to the dangerous desires of her body, he was gone. An acrid taste rose up and sat on her tongue, making its presence known. She already knew exactly what it was. She swallowed hard. Disappointment.

Notes:

*Seinosuke Yamada. He was Unohana's former lieutenant.