Chapter 8
Shuddering, I wiped away the saliva that was dripping from my mouth. The sight alone made me want to throw up again, but I held it in. For the umpteenth time I had opened my eyes to be met with the dim light of the jutsu and the close space. Now though, I finally had a plan as for what to do.
I didn't stand around to keep on thinking about what had happened. The only thing I tried to think of now was the jutsu the scroll had learned me.
Me, doing a complex jutsu. A jutsu that was almost extinct, according to my father. It was unbelievable how insecure I felt. I also had no faith whatsoever in my own skills. On top of that, I didn't think I had the energy to do it, even though I felt slightly better after the talk. I got a new drive to go on with. I had to try, and not only for myself. My heart was now yearning with the need to make my deceased parents proud.
The thought about my parents made me quiver slightly, but I shook my head firmly and focused again.
So, what did I know about this jutsu? Instead of just using handsigns to focus the chakra, I needed to move my whole body. I guessed the inconvenience of that was why this jutsu didn't have any users anymore, save for me. But I trusted my dad and his decision that this jutsu would suit me best in my current predicament.
I took a breath and began. I raised my hands, opening them as if waiting to receive something, before pointing and drawing half a circle in the air. Then, I closed them again, suddenly turning around, after opening them again while slowly lowering my arms. A step forward, my knee bended, and my arms towards the east. It went on and on and I quickly lost myself in the strange familiarness of the movements.
The only problem was, that although these movements somehow felt right, I wasn't sure what the consequences would be. While doing the movements, thoughts slipped in and out of my mind. Was I using chakra to manipulate objects? Or was I working with elemental chakra? I really had no idea.
Before I knew it, I finished. Stuck in my last position, I waited with a tight throat and clam hands. Had it worked?
But, nothing happened.
I was heaving breaths, sweat was forming on my forehead and my legs began shaking dangerously. Had I wasted my already fast dwindling energy on something pointless? Or had I just failed?
That could be it. Failure. It would be nice to simply be able to use chakra immediately. Become a strong ninja and do my parents proud. But apparently, even the simple act of accesing you chakra wasn't easy. Even with the information of the jutsu, I needed practice. And I didn't have the energy and time for that.
In despair, my lip began quivering and I let my hair fall over my eyes.
What now? What could I do? Before I completely collapsed, I tried one more time. This time, trying to not just do the movements, but to try and feel the chakra that was coursing through me. To try and feel it's movements.
I raised my hands again, opened them and tried to focus on the substance coursing through my body. But it remained flowing the same way as when I was standing still. I lowered my arms dejected, but tried again. It didn't work.
I yelled and slammed the wall in frustration, which only resulted in me getting a bruise on my hand. I wanted to collapse but bit my lip until my already broken lips bled again. My dry, dehydrated lips had quickly cracked under the pressure.
It was like telling the breath in your lungs to go to your to stomach. To tell the blood in your veins to go behind their restrictions. It just didn't work. My chakra was alien to me, and I didn't know how to control it one bit.
I guessed my chakra control must be pretty bad.
But I didn't give up. I tried yet a different approach. Focusing on a goal.
'Food' 'Water' 'Freedom' 'Bed' 'Sky' These words flew through my head in record time, sounding again and again, until it almost sounded like something was chanting a song.
I had to get out. And I would.
I decided with a shaky breath to try both my ideas out at the same time. I would visualize the chakra and I would focus on my goal with all my heart. 'No half hearted feelings' I told myself sternly. The goal, the chakra, the jutsu.
Freedom.
When I thought I kinda knew what was happening inside of me, I took a deep breath and tried again.
Finally, something happened. A thread, big and shaky, extended from me. It wasn't a beautiful string that followed me elegantly. It was more like a water mass I tried to control, even though it seemed to struggle against the bounds I laid upon it.
My arms were shaking and my movements seemed to become even sloppier than before. Desperately, I tried to finish the jutsu.
Arms down, knee bent, standing up, twirling around, stopping, arms up, it went on and on.
I was huffing and my eyes were glazing over when I heard a distant rumble.
My arms were raised in the last movement, pointing at the wall, and my feet were in the correct position. Everything seemed like a blur and only a distant thought told me that I must have finished the movements I was supposed to do.
And before me, the wall had crumbled.
Sweetly Staring: I'm glad you've thought so much about it, you sure know your naruto-stuff -wink wink- I hope I will create a story that fits the Naruto plot. Thank you for reviewing :D
iluvfairytale: Hehe, you just have to wait and see :3 Yeah, she's older than Sasuke. I'll be sure to give a lot of attention to their relationship.
