I could only stare in surprise as my brain tried to comprehend what he had just told me.

He already knew…

I could feel the air intense as the wind started to blow harder. He continued to stare up at the sky…I guess waiting for me to reply or just to understand.

"H-W-" my words wouldn't come out correctly.

"I saw him…come out your room at her party. I hadn't realized at first, because I just…knew you wouldn't—especially not to Naruto, but everything changed after that. I could tell you were hiding something—more like regretting but I wasn't going to push you to tell me something you didn't want to." He said plainly. My emotions were separated. I was ashamed that Shikamaru knew but relieved that I didn't have to tell him. The sky was still dark and the rain started to fall, gently. I could feel my eyes starting to water, as the tears fell down my face. I hoped that Shikamaru couldn't tell the difference. I breathed in a deep breath of the air letting the tears fall.

"I-I-I c-c-can't s-stand myself for what I-I d-did, a-and I-I'm not even sure if it's N-Naruto's b-baby a-and S-Sasuke…" I had no more words. What could I say? I'm… Shikamaru could pass his judgment of how bad of a girlfriend I was. My knees buckled and I fell forward. I threw my fist toward the ground and screamed.

"Why?" I yelled angry.

Shikamaru came to my side bending down wrapping his arms around my shoulder and my neck. I could only accept.

"I-I've been regretting my decision but Naruto was so happy about a child and I didn't want to break that besides…he'd be… a good father…" I trailed off looking at the sky, letting the drizzle embrace my face. What if Naruto woke up?

"It's alright…everything is going to be…alright." I knew he was trying hard to sound reassuring but he and I both knew that…anything was possible and it never happened in my favor, obviously.

It seemed like forever before Shikamaru's phone started to ring; he answered it.

"Yes….Really? Probably not, but…yea she's with me. Really? Oh, I bring her now," he looked at me after he hung up the phone; I couldn't read the expression on his face.

"Y-Your father wants to see you…" he trailed off. I swallowed hard. It was challenge I didn't want to face right now. I didn't want to hear what he wanted to say to me. I didn't want to hear the rant on how I've betrayed the family. I closed my eyes. Shikamaru placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry. I'll be with you always," he kissed me on my forehead. I was trying to get my breathing steady before I'd have to face my father. Naruto wouldn't be there next to me with a reassuring smile. A tear escaped my eye, but before I could wipe it away. Shikamaru beat me to it.

I looked at him through teary eyes. For a moment I could feel a relief that he was my friend, that at least I had somebody not family who I knew that would always be there for me.

-

When we arrived I stood at the door postponing my entrance. Really wondering if I should enter or not; maybe it would be better if I'd never seen my father again.

I placed my hand on the doorknob, turning it lightly. Shikamaru grabbed my hand, "You don't have to go if you don't want to." I gulped really considering my options. I nodded only confirming that I had to. I loved my father enough to at least say I was sorry. I was sorry that this happened but…

Shikamaru turned the knob with my hand under it. He pushed the door open. The house was…normal, but if there was a problem my father wouldn't let anyone know it, not voluntarily…anyway.

I walked to my dad's office with Shikamaru by my side. The door was closed and it was dark. I automatically knew there was a problem. I told Shikamaru he should stay outside because I didn't want him to see…my family problems.

I inhaled the only fresh breath I would have before I left the room and gulped in all the courage I could gather up. I opened to the door to the stench of alcohol. The chair my father sat in was turned around so I could not see him.

"D-d" I didn't…couldn't speak with the lump in my throat.

He turned his chair around to look at me. His eyes were white, with bags drooping down his face and black circles were forming. His hair was uncombed and his odor overpowered the alcohol. I winced my nose at him and the sight. It was frightening. What happened to my father?

Staring at my father, I could only feel sorry for him. I wish he hadn't called because everything he said would be the alcohol talking. I couldn't choke up an apology for turning him over the edge or for all the trouble I've caused him.

The tears that fell were uncontrollable. Everything in my life was falling apart and there was nothing I could do about it. The room stayed silent as he stared at me. He inhaled and exhaled and started to speak.

"I-I'm s-sooo s-sorry," he said slowly. I could tell it heart and it all his power to say those words. I never knew they existed in his vocabulary. He was such a perfectionist that he never needed to say them.

"I-I"

"I'm not finished," he interrupted, more rudely than necessary, "I'm not good at this kind of thing." He said plainly, but I already knew that. "I'm…so angry that you…you're …pregnant, Hinata, why?" I could feel my fist tightening and my teeth grind. Yes, father, I planned the pregnancy. I planned for Naruto to get hit by a car. I planned for you to kick me out. I planned for it to be 50% chance that it's Sasuke. Yes, because I love to cry and be pitied upon. I could feel my feet telling me to leave, but I had to hear him finish because…maybe…maybe for once he'll express more than his disappointment.

"I'm sorry…" he repeated, "It isn't your fault I know. I would ask you to move back in but I don't want you to see me like this." He dropped his head, shamefully.

I wanted to walk over there and hug him. My father was a bad man, made a few bad decisions and every time he did the whole world was against him. I could understand the disappointment because the media was over exaggerating my pregnancy. I knew that everywhere he went someone was breathing down his neck on how he felt and what he planned to do about it.

I always knew that getting pregnant was something serious because you were bringing new life into the world but I never knew it affected everybody around you.

"Hinata," he looked into my eyes, "I know I haven't been the best father and your mother would probably be able to have a better conversation than I ever could, but I'm going to try. Try to stop drinking and be a better father and grandfather because…I-I l-love you and nothing's ever going to change that…"

My eyes were wide and the dried up moisture on my face was replenished as more tears started to fall. The tears that fell from my father's eyes made it hard not to. I hadn't heard those words since…my mother died.

I didn't know what to say or to do because my feelings were so overwhelmed with ever emotion imaginable.

I quickly hugged my father and left.

I had to claim myself.

Shikamaru had to go home and help his mother do something. I told it was alright and he should go ahead. He was my most cherished friend. My usual way of claiming myself was watching the clouds with Shikmaru but I guess I would be alone for this journey…

Or not.

"S-Sasuke?"

-

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