8. New trails
In an abrupt flash, Leliyani was wrenched back into the present. She suddenly froze, stunned to the point where she was concealed in a motionless state. It was almost as if her willingness to move or talk has been sucked out of her, leaving horror in its place. What she had just remembered did not only reveal how she reached the shuttle, but provided unmistakable worries that were now lingering within her: Did she make a perilous assumption that had somehow led to her memory loss? Was her daughter alright back on Cardassia? Leliyani attempted to lift her arm, yet she was frozen in place, too shocked to move a muscle.
"Are you alright?" Ezri asked, concern ringing within her voice. "Did you manage to recall anything? You're very pale," She stated as she laid her hand on Leliyani's shoulder.
Leliyani jerked away, a large dose of adrenaline rapidly pumping through her blood. "Keep your hands off!" She shrieked, taking a few steps back.
Ezri stared at her in confusion. Leliyani shook her head, desperately trying to clear her mind. Unfortunately, it was nearly impossible to do so considering the enormous amounts of traumatizing information. Her mind was a whirling frenzy, jaunting without a speed limit. Attempting to get a grip on herself, she placed her hand on her forehead and closed her eyes, allowing the peaceful darkness to sweep over her.
"You can tell me what is wrong," Ezri said encouragingly, who was yet again stepping closer to Leliyani. "It is not always bad to receive some help."
"I don't need your help," Leliyani replied in a cruel manner, giving her counselor a disgusted look. At this point, she was not comfortable with speaking to anyone, even if her original intention was to inform somebody of Dukat's scheme.
Before Ezri had the chance to reply, Leliyani shoved her aside and raced passed her, ordering the computer to end the program. She rushed down the stairs with the counselor on her heels. "Wait, we should talk about this," Ezri spoke as they reached the bottom of the stairs.
Leliyani spun around to face her. "Is that so?" She challenged, unnecessary vexation beginning to churn in her lungs.
"Running away will do no good; you will just end up back in the holding cell," Ezri stated calmly.
"That's fine with me," Leliyani snapped, suddenly raising her voice.
Her counselor sighed. "You are missing the point. If we stop in our tracks now, we will not be able to discuss what you have gathered about your past so far. I did not get in an argument with Quark just to have you leave in the middle of our session. From what I can tell, you have remembered a key event-"
"Let me tell you something," Leliyani interrupted, "You should have already figured out that I am never comfortable with speaking to others!"
A raging storm was swirling around her, causing her to lack any sense of rationalization. At the moment, she did not possess the courage to inform anyone of what she remembered which immediately guided her to her recent flashback…
All of a sudden, Ezri cut off her train of thought with her preposterous statement: "Look; I understand your suffering. However, you accepted my offer to go to the holosuite, and here we are. You told me everything you knew about yourself, which was good, now you need to-"
Before she knew it, Leliyani was screaming viciously at the young woman, "Excuse me? You do not understand at all! It does not matter how many lifetimes you may have lived, I can tell that you have not experienced the pain of suddenly losing your memory! You do not know the horror of attacking a hallucination, and then finding out that it was an actual person! It does not feel well! It's appalling, it's tactless, it's grueling, and it's maddening! So please stop with your mindless assertions! Yes, I will admit that I have revealed everything to you and that I had agreed to this appointment. However, I only did so because of your gratuitous babbling! Based on my observations, please be so thoughtful as to not pretend to have more knowledge than me, because frankly I do not think you have what it takes to become a counselor in the first place!"
Ezri's jaw dropped. Her eyes were practically glowing in dismay. Leliyani glared at her, just then realizing that an unwelcomed audience was gathered nearby. She shuddered. Severe embarrassment was hovering over her, its glutinous impact showering her like a rain cloud. Thinking fast, she scanned through the viewers. Among the spectators were Miles O'Brien, Colonel Kira and Garak. Horrified, Leliyani glanced down at the floor, not willing to stare at the unwavering shock portrayed in Garak's eyes.
Brusquely, that pungent yet shrill blare of which others called Quark's voice began to clamor through the bar. Shamefully, she tweaked his words out of her mind, refusing to hear his bitter complaints. She was already aware of how he felt about her, and it was not on her list of requirements to be reminded of it.
Her heart starting to transform into ash, Leliyani managed to shoot a glimpse at Ezri, only to jolt in alarm. In place of the ashamed counselor was that despicable little boy, his eyes smoldering with mixed emotions.
"Greetings, Leliyani," He uttered tartly.
At the sight of him, she struggled to keep herself straight up, fearing that she will fall over at any moment. She was perceptive of the fact that she was faced with a hallucination, and for that she was remaining silent.
The child sighed, his eyes fluttering about the bar. "I must say, Leliyani, I was shocked to learn that despite your flashbacks, you are still unable to recall who I am."
She gulped responsively as he continued, "After all that you have done to protect me in these two years, I would have thought you would remember me instantly. However, when you have rigidly attempted to forget me for about twenty-six years, I am taken aback by the fact that I was even surprised in the first place."
Leliyani gaped at him, stitching his words together, grappling to make sense of it. More swiftly than she could handle, the realization stoned her: her younger brother…
Appalled, Leliyani suddenly convulsed, horror circling her into an embrace. Before she had the chance to reclaim control of her body, she staggered backwards, unpredictably falling into an unoccupied table. It crashed sideways, forcing her onto the floor. In the process, she had taken hold of another table, which had caused it to turn over and spill various wine glasses onto her face as well as her body.
Leliyani began to tremble, staring at the wounds on her arms: a thread of blood was emerging from more than half of her right arm, and she was starting to feel an overwhelming sting above her left eye ridge. She reluctantly granted a gaze at the audience, only to be rewarded with looks of disgust. Not given the chance to explain herself, Leliyani jerked, suddenly engulfed in blackness.
After what merely seemed like a few seconds, she regained her consciousness, vertigo beginning to gnaw at her. She gazed at her surroundings, rolling her eyes at the result of her inspection. Evidently, she was placed back in that deprived excuse of a holding cell due to her behavior at Quark's. Leliyani was unable to rid herself of the image depicting her little brother's eyes, glittering with disappointment yet determination…
Abruptly, her hands began to twitch uncontrollably. She moaned, attempting to convince herself that the tremor of her fingers was because of her overpowering stress. However, a vast blankness was slumbering inside her, preventing any other emotion from seeping in. There was no horror, no sorrow, and in fact she was also lacking any trepidation—all sentiment that she had previously experienced had swiftly vanished, leaving a gob of emptiness to linger within her soul.
A few minutes since time had elapsed, Dr. Bashir marched into the room with the guard. He did not smile cheerily at Leliyani like Ezri did, but rather stayed behind the guard as the shield was erased. As soon as the doctor stepped in, the containment field was re-activated and he gave her a slight nod. "Hello, Leliyani," He greeted casually, digging into his bag and pulling out a dermal regenerator. "I see that you have some slight cuts?"
Leliyani blinked her response, gazing at the wall in silence.
"Thankfully we do not have to bandage you this time," Bashir stated as he nonchalantly strolled up to her and carefully took hold of her right arm. "Now, this will sting a little bit," He warned.
Unruffled, she relaxed and sat back against the wall, refusing to generate any eye contact. Early enough, he began to run the dermal regenerator through her wounds, transforming the undesired scratches into enviable reptilian skin. Leliyani glanced down at her lap, wishing for the procedure to end due to the throbbing.
"So, have you had any luck on your memories?" Bashir asked, comprising a little small talk.
Leliyani's eyes swung to him. With reluctance, she granted him a feeble glare and responded, "Barely." Suddenly, her hands started to fidget even more than they already were. She was aware that she was not revealing the entire truth, and with that fact in mind she muttered under her breath, "I remembered a sufficient amount to realize that I was deluded enough to think that I could save Cardassia…"
The doctor chuckled. Leliyani stared at him, attaining the verity that he had overheard her statement. "It sounds like you have something in common with Garak," He laughed as he rested the dermal regenerator above her left eye ridge.
She blushed at the mention of Garak's name, yet she eyed Bashir with suspicion. "What do you mean?"
"The Obsidian Order would think that they could save Cardassia as well," He replied with a slight grin.
Leliyani grimaced, baffled by the doctor's answer. Unfortunately, she did not remember what the Obsidian Order was, and frankly she was not certain if it was necessary to be familiar with it. Before she had the chance to respond, her memory sprang to her: Cardassian intelligence…
She blasted a look at the doctor, who had happened to be wearing a profuse expression on his face. "So, you are telling me that Garak is or was an agent of the Obsidian Order?"
A smile danced on Bashir's lips as he removed the dermal regenerator and placed it back in his bag. "Well, one thing is for certain," He answered cautiously, "You did not hear it from me."
Leliyani frowned once more, gawping at him in disbelief. She was not completely convinced that he was sincere in his words, although a specific hunch was swelling inside and telling her that he was speaking nothing but the truth. 'Do not be absurd,' she thought to herself, 'He is a human; there has to have been a lie hidden within his accounts.'
"Now that you're wounds are healed, perhaps I should get going," Bashir stated, waving his hand in farewell.
Leliyani nodded, gazing intently into the distance.
Long after he had left, she was still deliberating over their discussion. Vibrating waves of various thoughts were flowing into her, causing her to repeatedly pace around the holding cell. She was conscious of the fact that it was not necessary for her to worry about it, yet her brain was throbbing with questions. Leliyani did not distinguish the reason as to why she was neurotic about the subject when it was obvious that Bashir was being deceitful…
She abruptly drew herself to a halt. 'Or was he?' She practically whispered, her eyes roaming about the walls in front of her.
Unluckily, she did not possess a mental full-scale profile of the doctor nor did she speak with him frequently. Due to her lack of communication with Bashir, it was almost impossible to differentiate the truth from the false. However, Leliyani did occasionally spot him and Garak talking quietly at numerous locations…
She sighed, stomping over to the bunk and reluctantly taking a seat. If Bashir was in fact truthful in his claims, then he would have no definite issue with discussing the entire subject with her. 'Unless, he did not wish to break a promise that he had made,' she thought, leaning over and placing her hand on her forehead. To this extent, Leliyani was virtually unable to think properly, and for that she was determined to discharge her thoughts. Nevertheless, she could not bring herself to avoid such an inexplicable idea: If Garak was an agent of the Obsidian Order; perhaps he would prove to be an enormous asset when it came to Dukat and his horrendous ambitions.
Intrigued, Leliyani attempted to hinder the thought, only to fail miserably. She began to ponder over her previous conversations with Garak, scanning his words for anything that might justify Bashir's statement:
"Being in the position that I have, I am sure I would have seen a small child roaming about the station."
"From my observations, it would be very unusual for her to do that."
"I would just like to say…you remind me of someone. I am unable at the moment to pinpoint who it is, but your mannerisms and facial expressions seem oddly familiar to me."
She frowned, realizing that if he was truly a Cardassian intelligence agent, it would explain much of his behavior. Leliyani unexpectedly grinned, also comprehending the fact that the next time she crosses Garak's path, they were going to have a vital yet prolonged conversation…
Erratically, she was nudged out of her placid sleep, taking a minute to recognize the peaceful echo of morning. She shifted herself onto her back, surprised that she had experienced a restful snooze the previous night. For the most of what she remembered about the other day, she had done nothing but meditate for a great deal of time. Thankfully, Ezri did not bother to visit her, considering that Leliyani resented seeing anyone let alone her 'counselor'.
Relaxation beginning to conquer her mood, she drew a bottomless breath, absently observing her surroundings. Rapidly, she took notice of a slight difference lingering within the area: It was silent, perhaps a little too silent…
Without warning, a high-pitched sound aroused from nearby, and she quickly realized that it was a voice, "Ah, Leliyani! I am glad to see that you are finally awake!"
Leliyani jumped, turning her head to spot Garak standing behind the shield. His eyes were reflecting a jovial brilliance, and she could not help but chuckle in amusement at herself. 'Such an exceptional move from an unidentified spy,' she thought as she drew near the containment field.
"How long have you been here?" She inquired, blushing.
"Oh, no more than about five minutes."
"I see," She replied, eyeing him with a slight notion. Instead of viewing him as a simple tailor like she had beforehand, Leliyani did not begrudge the idea of being faced with a former intelligence officer who was hungry to take hold of top secret information. Aware of whom she was dealing with; she asked bluntly, "Is there a reason as to why you are here?"
"Nothing in particular," Garak responded, "However, you did put up quite an interesting show yesterday."
Leliyani stared at him, not wishing to be reminded of her actions. "Did I?"
"I can imagine that the relationship between you and Quark is not as genuine."
She glanced away, resentment flustering within her thoughts. "I suppose not."
"Forgive me for putting this so ingeniously, but I take it that you did not find your appointment with Ezri productive, considering that you caused quite a disruption."
Leliyani rolled her eyes. "Obviously."
"May I ask why?" Garak asked, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.
"That is a desperate question for a mere tailor," She pointed out.
"Oh, well, inquisitiveness does spread around here, doesn't it?" Garak replied innocently, clasping his hands behind his back.
'Nice attempt to cover things up,' she thought sarcastically as she stepped a little closer to the shield. "I guess we both need information from each other."
He stared at her. "That could be mutually beneficial."
"If you tell me what I want to know, then I'll answer your questions," Leliyani proposed, her heart pooling with determination, "Is that fair?"
"Oh, Leliyani, the universe is never fair," Garak responded cautiously, his eyes wary with suspicion. "I assume that you are the one who will ask the questions first?"
"That's right," She snapped, perhaps a spot too harsh than she had originally intended. If she was to inform anyone of Dukat's plans, the person to consult might as well be him. 'After all, he is Cardassian,' she thought to herself, 'He would understand the pain of learning that our race may be altered.' When a moment of complete silence had passed by, she finally inquired, "Are you or were you an agent of the Obsidian Order?"
Garak's eyes suddenly lit up. "How did you come up with such a preposterous idea?"
"Rumors spread quickly," Leliyani retorted, "Now answer the question."
After a bout of thinking, he conclusively responded, "Ah, well, my dear, the thing about rumors are…they are always true."
