I DO NOT OWN THE SHOW/MANGA HOST CLUB! That honor belongs to another awesome person.
ON WITH THE STORY!
.Did you say his fiancé? Wait, WHAT DO YOU MEAN FEMALE MANAGER?!.
Reaching the host club doors I through open the doors sliding in on my knees and bowed my head.
"Kyoya I can explain! There was a fire caused by an angry fire breathing dragon, little Timmy was stuck in a well, and a circus elephant was going into labor and and…." I looked up well I didn't feel pain and or hear yelling.
The club room was empty of customers, everyone was dress in light layered spring kimonos with hair extensions, and one random light brown/dirty blonde haired girl was clinging to Kyoya like he was the last Louis Vuitton bag on sale (not that it mattered everyone in this room could probably buy one at regular price anyway except Haruhi).
'Oh nooo… what is Renge doing here?' I thought miserly
"Hey…..umm… who's the broad in the marshmallow dress?" I asked pointing at said marshmallow.
Once everyone was back in there normal clothes Renge went on to explain and claim how and why Kyoya 'THE SHADOW LORD' was her destined fiancé.
"It was love at first sight. I just couldn't resist when you were adoring those flowers in the back yard when you thought no one else was looking. And how sweet it was when you reached out to that poor injured kitten." Renge gushed.
"Is she serious?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked at the same time.
"Could you have the wrong person?" Haruhi asked politely.
"Yeah I could honestly say I've seen Kyoya kick a cat once, not help it!" I said throwing my arm around Kyoya's neck bringing his face down next to mine, "I mean do you know what people call him around here?" I asked her pointing at Kyoya's face.
"No way! I can recognize my love anywhere!" Renge snapped at us.
She then went into her crazy woman world shouting more nonsense about Kyoya…being…NICE?! I tried to ignore everything she was saying but it was a losing battle.
"NAGH! Kyoya make the crazy lady go away!" I begged from my spot on the couch next to him.
When the crazy woman sat down on the same couch as Kyoya and me I stuffed my fingers in my ears to block out her toxic voice.
'I always did hate Renge's character the most when it came to the host club show…' I thought numbly.
The last words I heard were… "Well boys I can't wait to work for you."
'Will somebody shoot me… please?'
.The next day.
Today at club we were discussing ways to kill off Renge and good places to hide the body…. Okay so maybe that was just me. But in all honesty I like my ideas way more than Tamaki's stupid one.
Here just listen to what he's saying.
"I thought about it a lot last night, and I think that having a lady manager might not be a bad idea."
'See what I mean? Exhibit A.'
"What do you mean?" the twins asked him.
"Well it's fairly obvious. Renge just transferred into the same class as Haruhi. So if Haruhi has a "girlfriend" then she can bring out the female within her. With Renge around she ca-"
"You do realize that everyone in the school thinks Haruhi is a dude right? That includes our self-proclaimed Manager. And if we put Renge around Haruhi when she thinks Haruhi is a he then there is always the possibility that Renge will start to like Haruhi too." I said cutting off Tamaki mid rant "as a boy, and it will be more than just friendly." I finished from my spot lying on the floor, Steve lying on my stomach. There were no more open seats on the couches.
"Oh don't be silly Vince senpai. Something like that can never happen!" He waved me off.
'And Exhibit B… Tamaki's stupidity' I thought with a sigh.
Just then Renge walked in offering everyone (minus Tamaki) some nasty burned cookies. No really, she said they were burned herself. Honest I'm not being mean this time!
"I'm sorry I burnt them a little bit. I did the best I could and I already know what you're gonna say!" Renge squealed.
"Anything you make is going to be delicious, of course." Fake nice Kyoya said.
"AWW! You're always so sweet to me Kyoya." Renge gushed big pink hearts sprouting out of her.
"Did anyone else see that disturbing thought bubble of Kyoya being nice? Or was that just me?" I sweat dropped.
"She wasn't kidding these cookies really are burned." Honey said.
I sweat dropped even more seeing Honey trying to swallow down one of the horrid baked creations.
"Don't eat that Mitsukuni, it's bad for you!" Mori told his cousin slapping the cookie out of his small hand. Renge heard him and snapped, her hair tuning into snakes, chasing them a round.
I would have laughed at them, but she was making Honey cry.
NOBODY. MAKES. HONEY. CRY
It's like a law against nature! So I jumped into action to save the day.
"STEVE ATTACK THAT MAD WOMAN!" I shouted at Steve, and he did just that. Renge stopped chasing Honey and Mori and was now running away from my crazy loyal bowtie wearing parrot.
Yeah I put a bowtie on a bird. Sue me.
"Vince-chan…. THANK YOU!" Honey cried and ran at me arms wide jumping on me making us crash to the floor.
"H-Honey… can't breathe…. Crushing wind pipe… room spinning… light fading….Santa Clause playing strip poker with some thug dogs…." *Soul leaving Valerie's body*
.Honey's pov.
I pulled away from Vince-chan when he suddenly went limp.
"Hey…. Hey! VINCE-CHAN ARE YOU OKAY?!" I panicked shaking the unconscious boy. Honey stopped shaking him when his eye caught something.
LIGHTBULD
.Valerie's pov.
When I finally came to Tamaki was yelling at Hikaru and Kaoru about being shady and at the same time complaining to Kyoya. Renge was off to the side quietly studying us.
'I wonder what type she'll end up giving me for her Host club movie.' I thought vaguely as I got up off the floor.
"I really hope it's nothing lame." I muttered under my breath walking over and standing in between Hikaru and Kaoru. We jumped when Renge randomly started screaming.
"EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU (except for Kyoya) ALL OF YOUR CHARACTERS ARE LUKEWARM! Each of you needs to have a dark side, you understand? Girls are vulner-blah blah blah blah blah blah….."
"AHHHHHHH! WHY IS THE WHOLE ROOM RANDOMLY SPINING!?" I screamed and Scooby doo jumped into Hikaru's arms, and making him blush from my cool older guy closeness. (AN: No this is not a light bulb moment for Hikaru)
"…Blah blah blah are you trying to ruin my precious Kyoya's business?" Renge asked stopping her pointless rant. She then started changing everyone's, and my lack of one, character. She started off with Honey.
"From now on you are the baby faced thug!" Honey screamed.
"And you Mori senpai are his childhood-friend flunkie!" Mori stayed emotionless as usual.
"The twins will be basketball players enslaved in their own world!" when I looked at them, for some reason they were already dress up as basketball players.
'How did they change so fast, without me noticing, when Hikaru is still carrying me? ...they're magical'
"Haruhi you're an honor student who is constantly getting bullied!" Haruhi sweat dropped.
"Tamaki you're the popular guy everybody loves, but you actually have an inferiority complex you're hiding from the world. THE LONELY PRINCE!"
'Queue the drama queen' I mentally groaned as I saw Tamaki dramatically get in character.
"AND YOU!" Renge exclaimed sticking her finger in my face making me go cross eyed, "you'll be the super cool, super sexy bad boy greaser kid looking for that last dangerous race that may be his last." Renge said smugly, looking proud of herself.
'I'm a suicidal Greaser kid?' I thought warily.
"Oh and we'll have to cut your hair." Renge said casually like she was talking about the weather.
"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #$%^&*(*&^%$# ! #$%^*&^%$#&**&! $%&%$%^^$^$! #!"
Well how bad did I do this time? REVIEW SO I CAN FIND OUT!
UNTIL NEXT TIME!
