File 8: Meet Glitchy
X installed the new power core into his project, the strange blond reploid. It was different from the original, but he would not subject anyone to that core. The original was poorly made, with bad metals and loose connections. From his calculations, the reploid had been operating with the faulty power core for years. Who would subject him to that physical hell, X wondered. That alone would cause power surges leading to migraines and even seizures. And that was merely one problem of many.
Like parasitic programming. X had no idea there was such a thing until a week ago. He'd spent a good hour calculating how much shop power to run to the guy on, but his numbers always came up short. Then he ran an energy trail test and discovered a small silver box was draining power for no apparent purpose. He'd never seen anything like it. For the time being, he cut its power supply off. If it really did nothing, he could remove it completely. But in case it did do something, he left it in.
With a quality power core finally in, X connected wires and tubes, then shut the fellow's chest plate and fused it again. It was well made armor with a sealing system oddly similar to his own. It bewildered him further. This guy had top-notch armor for extreme battle conditions, but a faulty power core that had been doomed to explode from the start? Evil.
"Okay, my glitchy friend," he said, "let's see how dead you are." He fired a pulse of electrical energy into his outlet ports.
He started right up and opened his eyes. Then he put his hands over his eyes and groaned. "Yikes, what a hangover."
X grinned. "Well, I haven't gotten a good look inside your head yet. It's taken me two ******* months to work on your body."
He lowered his hands, but was squinting. X pulled a curtain over the closest window. "What happened last night? How drunk did I get? Did you say two months?"
He nodded. "Two months. That must have been some serious binge you went on."
"No kidding. Wish I could remember it." He paused. "Or anything."
"Like I said, I haven't seen the inside of your head. Don't worry; I'll get on it. I'm Maverick X. And you?"
"Zero… I think. It's all rather fuzzy."
"Odd. Better than what we've been calling you."
"And what's that?"
"Glitchy. Come on, you were so messed up your power core exploded. I wanna know what the hell you were doing that night to cause yourself this level of internal damage."
Zero stared at him a moment, then chuckled. "Glitchy, huh? I suppose. There was something about fish… it seemed very important. And linguini… but I can't follow that thought out."
"All right, you're seriously weird. I hope you don't mind, but when I rebuilt your armor plating, I made it less feminine looking."
"You altered my armor?" He was quite mad.
"Everyone thought you were a female, man. You needed it. I considered whacking your hair off too."
That really made Zero mad. "No one cuts my hair."
X laughed and waved his hand. "All right, so your hair stays. Besides that, there were some plans I could access for upgrades that were never added. So I added those, hoping that make things run better for you."
"In that case, I don't mind my armor being altered much." He glanced it over. "I didn't think I was that feminine looking."
"You sure? I would've gotten drunk a lot too if I looked that effeminate. Course that's me."
"I can't know as things are."
"Do you have an internal programming self-check? My computer can't read your language and I get blocked from trying."
Zero nodded. "Yeah, give me a few minutes."
X put the tools back in their proper places. He took Zero's old power core and shut it in a radiation cleaning chamber. There was nothing to salvage from it, but he didn't want to be arrested for radiation pollution. That was weak. If he was going to get arrested, it was going to be for something major.
"My skull plating has been crushed somehow," Zero finally reported. "That's what's setting off my pain receptors. My internal gyroscopes are spinning erratically. I think I have some more damage because the check program keeps seizing up."
"Programming checks aren't supposed to ******* do that. And you were supposed to be checking your core programming."
"Can't. I tried all my checking programs. None of them will let me check my programming."
"All right, then I guess I'll just have to work on your head very carefully. Of course, if your skull plating is that bad off, that could be affecting the checks."
"What was I doing? It was very important."
"Go back to sleep," X advised. "I'll work on your cracked head and we'll talk more about that when you're thinking straight. S'all right?"
"Sure. Hey, was there anything with me?"
"Yeah. A blanket, a guitar in a case, and a plasma saber."
He nodded. "That sounds right."
"Your stuff?"
"Yeah."
"You play guitar?"
"Of course. How about you?"
"Nah. I play piano and keyboards."
"Nice. Maybe when I'm working we can play sometime."
"Sure why not. I assume then that you can fight with that sword."
"Certainly."
"Anything else you do?"
Zero hesitated. "Well, I have a strange power…"
"It can't be that strange. Heck, I steal the powers of my defeated enemies. That's pretty strange by most standards."
"Oh, well, I make reploids feel happy by touching them in a special place."
X laughed. "Whoa, I don't think we need to talk about that anymore."
Zero chuckled. "I suppose that's funny. But that's the best way to describe it. I probably shouldn't use it on you if you're working on me though. It sometimes makes their brains a little whacked."
"I'll take your word for it. Now go to sleep so I can work on your ******* brain."
X went out to his favorite hardware store looking for gyroscopes. There were several in the Blasted Machine Shop's basement, but none that would fit Zero. He harassed some of the employees until they searched the stockroom for the proper sized models. Zero had an odd requirement for the entire system, but it would give a more accurate sense of balance and position.
But they had none of the proper scopes. X cussed them out, and then was recommended to visit some place out of town. He was reassured they had unusual parts there. Fine, whatever. Just so long as he got the right parts eventually.
He came out and spotted Sigma, who was trying to look like he wasn't watching anyone. Smiling, he got in the truck bed and acted like he was rummaging through his toolbox. He noticed Sigma was watching another reploid who was trying to look like he was reading a newspaper. But the other reploid kept looking off in a certain direction, waiting for someone. He wasn't even aware that he was being watched by Sigma, who wasn't aware that X was watching him.
Pitiful.
X strolled up to Sigma. "Nice day for a stakeout, eh man?"
Sigma dropped his camera. "Don't do that!"
The other reploid finally noticed them. He studied them warily.
"Do what, be friendly? You're a regular stiff after all. Or maybe not so regular and more law enforcing."
The other reploid's eyes went wide. He scurried off, trying to look like he wasn't trying to get away.
"Can't you do anything with tact, stranger?" He looked like he doubted that last part, though, although he couldn't put a name to X.
Grinning, X took advantage of that. "Damn straight I can't. I do things the way I think things ought to get done. That's the best way, right? Right."
"No, you must do the things that are right."
"So what's right and what's wrong? It's all objective."
"No it's not." He looked over. "And now you made me lose my target."
"Not that you were doing a good job watching him. Heck, you were so fricking obvious it only worked because he was oblivious."
"Who are you to judge? You know nothing of what I do."
X put his hands behind his back and grinned. "I've been watching you all day Sigma, leader of the Maverick Hunters. I watch you when I get bored, waiting for my chance to… but that's another day and another story."
"Are you threatening me?"
"Am I?"
"You're lying. You must be."
"How can you tell? There's no way for me to prove I have been watching you all day. But I have been. How much do you trust my word?"
"Who the hell are you?" Sigma felt a twinge of doubt. If this reploid had been watching him all day, and he hadn't noticed, he was doing a very poor job indeed. But the stranger could be lying. Had to be. Right?
"I'm known as Maverick X. I'm probably the top non-Cultist on your wanted lists." He winked. "And I'm the jerk who made you bald."
That finally got a light bulb of recognition. "X, I'm arresting you for obstructing justice on behalf of the Maverick Hunters. And all of your other crimes. I know you now."
"Whoa, hold on little buddy. Arrest me for obstructing justice? I was being friendly and helpful today. I'm not like that often, so you'd best ******* accept it when I am. Clear?"
"No, you listen."
"I am."
"Let me talk."
"Do so."
"You knew I was staking him and you blew my cover, letting him get away. That's obstructing justice. And there's your traffic violations."
X rolled his eyes. "Traffic violations? Please. That's incredibly weak. What, you catch me speeding in isolated areas? I'll agree to racing dirt roads, but nobody's out there. Nobody. At most you can fine me a hundred for it."
"Come quietly and we'll discuss this."
"Oh yeah? Well, listen to me; you can mark me up for resisting arrest yet again, because I ain't going with ya."
"Yip!"
X stepped back and looked aside. There was a brown fluffy thing on the ground that looked suspiciously like a dog. It yipped again.
Sigma drew his weapon. "Davish!"
Oh, so that was a Davish. X smiled. "It's just a dog, Sigma. No need to kill it. See, I am being nice and merciful today. Must be your ******* lucky day."
"That's just a dog? You have no idea. It's a mean little bugger."
"So you're scared of lapdogs? Wild man, simply wild."
"Well you're so brave. Why don't you pick the thing up?"
Oo, that was tempting bait. But X would not look like a fool, especially before Sigma. He whistled. "Hey little dog, Sigma there's a sissy, ain't he?"
The Davish yipped at X, then looked at Sigma. It snarled.
Sigma yelped and fired his blaster.
The Davish transformed and lunged at Sigma, managing to put teeth holes in his armor. The Maverick Hunter yelled and ran in circles, trying to get the alien thing off. X laughed, then whistled again. "Go dog!"
It let go of Sigma, who ran out of the park. The Davish growled at X, daring him to make a false move.
X searched his pockets until he came up with something; a piece of jerky he'd intended to have as a snack later that day. It wasn't necessary for reploids to eat, but they could and enjoyed it. He knelt down and held it out. "Good boy. Here's some jerky for making a fool of Sigma."
The Davish growled, then fell silent to sniff the dried meat. It growled again, but with a tone of uncertainty. Then X jiggled the meat, and the Davish snatched it. Finding it good, it turned back into the fluff ball. "Yip?"
"I think I'll call you Fang-chan," he said with a grin. "Come on Fang-chan!"
Fang-chan yipped a question again, and then followed X to the truck.
"Is that one of those dangerous aliens I've heard about?" was Reno's question.
"The Davishes? Yup. His name is Fang-chan."
He stayed a respectful distance away from the dog alien examining the shop. "What are you going to do with him?"
"Train him to be a guard dog."
"Can that be done?"
"Won't know until I try."
X put a warning sign on the shop's fence, "Guard dog in training.' Then he had to head back out for his original purpose, finding Zero's gyroscopes.
After making sure the Davish was secured behind the garages, X went back out to search for the shop with obscure parts. It turned out to be in the middle of a no man's land of businesses, where slots were cheap because nobody wanted them and every parking lot had at least one garden of weeds springing through the concrete. The strip mall was a good sized one, but all that was left was a dollar shop that may have been closed, a dubious video shop, a dry cleaner, and the Valhalla Hardware Store.
The hardware store itself was dusty and poorly lit, even though the storefront was facing south. There was strong smelling incense burning; a sign declared it to be 'Egyptian Papyrus.' The shelves were loaded with all sorts of things: kitchen gadgets, pottery, hand tools, ropes, doorknobs, lanterns, lamps, vacuum bags, brooms, paperclips, toys, fly swatters, and weird things with no apparent purpose. Some merchandise was hanging from the ceiling, primarily birdhouses and mobiles, but one scythe was stuck into the wood, hanging precariously over a display of glassware. An ancient record player, of all things, was on a table playing a Wagner opera. But the most noticeable aspect of the place was the proliferation of bubble-blowing machines that filled the air with soap bubbles.
X wasn't sure he got the right address.
Still, he went up to counter and rang a bell. There seemed to be no one there, but there was a colony of weird green bubbles, unlike the translucent soap bubbles all over the rest of the shop. There was also a stuffed animal on the counter. It looked like a jellyfish, but the label said it was a Nightmare. He rang the bell a second time.
"We're only open on Tuesdays!" an irritated voice yelled from the back room.
"It is Tuesday," he replied.
"It is?"
"Yes."
"Oh. I didn't notice." The door opened and the shop owner floated out. He looked very peculiar. "I'm Infinity Mijinion and this is the Valhalla Hardware Store. What do you want?"
"What in hell are you supposed to be?"
"Actually, I have no idea." He scratched his head. "I just am, you know?"
"I guess. Look, I think I got the wrong place, but just in case, I've been told you stock some obscure reploid parts."
"I get stuff when I feel like it. I might have it. What're you looking for?"
He brought out a notebook where he'd copied down as much information as he had on Zero's data. "This gyroscope array has no deviance allowance and nobody makes scopes in these sizes. Not a single one. But it's either get him an exact replica of his broken scopes or retrain him in every movement."
Mijinion took the notebook and studied the numbers. "Oh, yes, yes, I've seen this sort of thing before."
"You have?"
He nodded. "Yeah, it's called an Assassin Array. It's used exclusively for reploids built for mass destruction and anarchy. Makes for a top class warrior right off the bat."
X glanced over the numbers himself. "Makes sense… but this guy I'm working on says he's a musician."
"I suppose you could use it for ballet or gymnastics if the reploid wished it."
"Meh, you can never tell how a reploid's personality will turn out. So do you have one of these Assassin Arrays in stock?"
"Actually, I think I do. Let me go look." He floated out to a shelf filled with all sorts of nails, hooks, and spatulas. Shuffling around in the various boxes, he pulled a black metal box out of the box of roofing nails. "Um, yup, this is it. Here you go."
X opened up the metal box and checked inside. And yes, there were the proper number of scopes and pieces in the exact dimensions needed. "Where did you get this?"
"I traded it for a gross of anti-gravity strips with some five year old."
"A five year old?"
"I'm not kidding. Some black haired kid named Avery came in. Knew exactly what he wanted and traded fairly for it. I have no idea what he wants anti-gravity strips for when he had access to an Assassin Array. But he came in with an older boy and I had to kick them out when Danny tried to cheat me out of a Meinlinger Generator Unit. Avery was a nice kid, but Danny was a ******* bastard, believe me."
Not that he really cared about that story. "Okay. So how much you want for this?"
"How much of what?"
"Money. You know, zenny?"
"Oh that. No, this is a trade shop. You have to trade for that."
"Trade? You're allowed to do that?"
Mijinion shrugged. "Well, no one's stopped me. What've you got?"
"I wasn't expecting this."
He shut the box and took it back. "You have to trade something. What do you have with you?"
"All I brought here was my bike… you're not taking that."
"So what else could you bring over?"
X thought about it. This was a rare part, but he said trading it for a gross of anti-gravity strips was fair. "Well, I have some other bikes at the shop."
"I don't deal with transports. Anything else? I'm short musical instruments."
"He'd kill me if I traded his guitar. I do have a keyboard I've been repairing."
"Is it repaired?"
"Not yet, but I could probably finish it in a week."
"No. That won't work."
He really didn't want to do this, but if he had to… "I have some specialized repair tools in my shop. Just about anything, if you need something."
"That's tempting, but…" he glanced toward the back of the shop and then smiled. It was one of those smiles that made you nervous. "Say, I have an experiment going on in back. Would you mind being a test subject in exchange for the Assassin Array?"
"What sort of experiment?"
"Psychological and a new source of clean burning energy."
"Psychology and energy?"
He was very proud of himself. "In one brilliant stroke! It's almost free energy. Want to try it out?"
"Is it dangerous?"
"I haven't killed anyone yet."
"Sure, why not? In back?"
"Yes, follow me." He floated back through the doors. "What's your name?"
"Maverick X."
"You should be a perfect subject."
"Why?"
"You'll see. Here we are." He stopped by a closet. "Go in there."
Inside the closet, there was a bench around three walls, a visor with a wireless receiver, and a block of orange glass on one wall. Nothing else. "What is this?"
"It's a specialized chamber."
"It's a closet."
"The science here is on the very cutting edge. Hardly anyone is studying this range of questions, of capturing mental energy waves and transforming them into a usable storable product. I'm making psychic batteries."
X smirked. "Psychic batteries?"
"Go on in! I'll make one based off your mental energy."
"That would be interesting." Although he doubted the process, he went ahead and entered the closet chamber. "Do I need the visor on?"
"Yes, it should go over your eyes and attach to your outlet ports. You do have two, right?"
"Course I do. Only two percent of reploids only have one. Usually the weird ones, more so than you."
"That's true. Okay, we're starting the process."
Infinity Mijinion shut the door. X attached the visor to his outlet ports and adjusted it until it was comfortably over his eyes. It tinted everything pink. Except the glass block, which still appeared very orange. He sat on the bench in a spot where he could see that block. As he expected, light orange streaks began to appear on the glass. It was doing calculations, but after a while, X could no longer keep up with it.
"Hang on X," Mijinion said over a hidden speaker. "You're going to start experiencing things. That's certain. It's the machine tapping into your brain waves. Just try to stay calm as long as possible."
"Sure. It should be no problem."
"If you say so. Here we go."
The glass block released a bright light. X closed his eyes until he heard footsteps. "Hey maverick," Sigma said.
He opened his eyes and was blown away by the depth of this virtual simulator. Sigma was standing in front of him, looking fairly calm. X replied, "What is it, baldy?"
"Very funny," he said sternly. "We're ready to start."
He shrugged. "Whatever."
He was strapped to a wooden chair, in such a way that even he would have a hard time escaping it. Wires hooked his outlet ports to some machine. It was ten feet high and ten feet wide, mostly made up of a large display screen. The whole setup looked like an old fashioned TV. X, the machine, and Sigma were up on a stage. The small audience room was almost full. There were mostly strangers, but he could recognize some people. Maverick Hunters, Zero, his mechanics, Bloodhound and the rest of his gang, some of his regular customers, and his two brothers. They looked rather bored at the moment.
Sigma walked over to the machine and fiddled with the controls. "Let's begin this interrogation."
"Sure." He didn't feel too worried. This was a simulation, after all.
The television sputtered and repeated in his voice, "Sure, you big baby, not like you're getting anything out of me."
Somebody in the audience giggled. X grinned.
Sigma managed to keep his temper. "This is a special lie detector. No matter what you say, it will play what you're really thinking. It will also play back memories as you are reminded of them. So now we will know exactly what you did and what you were thinking about when you did it."
X didn't say anything, but the lie detector said, "You don't have the ******* technology to do that. Or maybe you do. Jerk."
Sigma came over to his chair and stood over X. "Now, where did you get that Assassin Array?"
He said nothing. The lie detector promptly played back the whole meeting between X and Infinity Mijinion, exactly as it happened with every detail he noticed. But Sigma said, "Enough," when they began talking what to trade for it. The detector flickered, played a bit more, and then stopped.
"Where is that shop?" one of the Hunters in the audience called out.
The detector obediently told the address of the Valhalla Hardware store. X thought that the machine was being rude for invading his own mind. Almost as soon as he thought it, it appeared on the screen as a subtitle.
This wasn't good.
The machine betrayed his growing anxiety.
Sigma watched his nervous thoughts flit about on the screen, then looked X straight in the eyes. "All right, now that you're open to the truth, we must know the reasons behind your deviant behaviors. There are a number of possible causes…" he glanced at the screen. "I would like to start with what really happened between you and Dr. Light before the missing day of the apocalypse."
There was no way to make the lie detector machine lie itself…
X was sweating as he tore off the pink visor. "Okay, that was good," Mijinion said over the speaker.
X threw open the door and glared at him. "What did you do to me?"
The shopkeeper was observing a glass container with a strange yellow gel inside. "Used electrical stimulants on the emotional sector of your central core to produce powerful mental energy, in this case, fear. It worked very well on you."
"I'll kill you for that."
Mijinion finally looked up. "I do admit, it tends to seek out the strongest fear within the subject and play it to the most extreme measure. So what did you see?"
The question made him pause before he blasted the strange reploid to bits. "What? But, weren't you controlling the experiment?"
"Yes, but I can't translate mental energy waves. They're too complex to translate outside of the individual's head. Everything you saw was your own mind trying to account for the massive spike of fear and make sense of it. Thus, it pulls out your worst fears and forces you to experience them completely. You were screaming pretty loudly in there, and I even have soundproofing on that chamber. So what was it?"
X felt deeply relieved. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Suit yourself. This is a very good trade for that Assassin Array. In fact… hang on, it's around here somewhere." He floated up to the top shelves of his stockroom, which was overflowing with more oddities.
He rubbed his forehead and glanced around for a mirror, wondering how he looked at the moment. But oddly enough, a mirror seemed to be the one thing missing from the store. "I don't think your energy gathering will catch on. Except maybe as torture."
Mijinion was rustling stuff about. "I've only been able to translate fear so far. Perhaps if I tried joy, I'd get more subjects… what foot size is your project?"
"Foot size?" He picked up his notebook and checked. "Size 10."
"Ah-ha! That's perfect." He floated down with a foot module, very pleased. "This is a Kuuenbu Adapter."
"A what?"
He handed it over. "Armor attachment. It allows the bearer to double jump."
"Don't you mean jump twice as high? You can't… jump in midair."
"Not normally. But Kuuenbu allows for it. Only one extra jump in midair, but it's still handy. However, in order to use this adapter, the reploid in question must have an advanced gyroscope array. It works perfectly with an Assassin Array."
"Does it have the program I need to install on him?"
"Sure, on that chip." He pointed to a taped on chip that X hadn't noticed before. "With a fear capsule that powerful, I have to give this adapter to you to even out the trade. Is that a deal?"
"All right, well…" he didn't really want to thank the shopkeeper for the parts, not with what he had to pay for it.
"Come back any time you need something odd," Mijinion said. "I'll probably have it. But only on Tuesdays!"
"Maybe." He took the Assassin Array and the foot attachment, leaving in a hurry.
Mijinion is one of my favorite Mavericks. He attacks with green bubbles!
