I wanted to cry. As I turned the page, only to find nothing left. That was it, and it was beautiful, and yet, it made me wonder why he left her. How he left her.. I felt utterly frustrated.
Questions flooded my mind and yet, deep in my heart, I felt like I knew why, it was at the tip of my tongue. I could almost hear his voice, whispering in my ear… angel..
It made me shiver, and so I closed the book and left it atop my study table. Looking at the clock, it was already one in the morning, and I had about six hours of sleep before my nine o'clock shift at the café.
That night, I dreamt of feathers, velvet black feathers, and the voice of an angel. Masculine and velvet, I felt myself being lifted off the ground, soaring onto the night skies, touching the clouds.
"Hold on my love.. " He whispered to me, and I felt my heart flutter and screamed at the top of my lungs, as we flew higher and higher above the clouds. I laughed feeling dizzily overwhelmed.
And everything faded into darkness.
I was sitting at the café stocking up our plastic and paper cups for coffee, staring into space as my hands robotically did the job for me. My thoughts drifted to swirls of daydreaming.
I thought of me riding a horse, laughing gleefully as warm arms wrap around me. The man sitting behind me was holding the rinse as we run off into the sunset, laughter faded.
As I heard his voice in my head… "Nora…"
"yeah?" I answered softly, gazing out the window, letting out a soft sigh.
"Nora!" the voiced in my head changed to a rather loud feminine one.
"huh" as I shook my head, finding myself eye to eye with Monica. My blue eyed, blond hair co-worker.
She just smiled at me cheekily. "Looks like my little girl's all grown up..so.. who is it?"
"Who's what?" I asked in confusion
"Oh..c'on girl..I know that look…you ain't fooling me around.. who's your man?.."
"I don't know what you're talking about. Mon.." I could feel my blush heating my cheeks
"Oh..this is good.. he's hot isn't he?.." I swear I think I blush a brighter red, not only was I caught daydreaming; I was now being interrogated because of the said daydreaming.
" ahh..no, Mon…you know I'm single… I never even had a boyfriend.." finding my ragged old sneakers suddenly interesting
" what?!" Monica exclaimed "That can't be true… I mean..look at you girl!" waving a hand at my body "those hips don't lie… how could a fine lady like you, never found herself a man..?" Raising an eyebrow at me, "please tell me, you at least gotten laid.."
'Oh…crap…not again…'I mentally slapped myself for going to dream land during tried to get me hitch on a blind date once, and never in my life will I let that happen again. I looked her in the eye and glared at her.
"I think we have a customer… " I exclaimed and rush to the cashier where a man was standing tapping his fingers along the counter top impatiently waiting.
Looking at the cash register I entered my password without even glancing at the customer. "Good Morning, welcome to Jaco Café, what are you having today?"
"..well a fine morning to you as well..angel.." emphasis on the word angel, I looked up and was greeted by dark eyes.
"Oh…" was the smartest retort that came from me
He grinned at me and winked, "Ohh..indeed…"
I just stared at him, my mouth hanging open and heart pounding right out of my chest, and I didn't have a single care in the world that the line was growing longer, until well.. a boy with sandy hair and blue eyes groan from behind and declared his frustrations. "Will you hurry it up already! I don't care if you're in a suit lover boy, but some people here are starving!"
And with that I was brought back to earth, blushing scarlet.
" ..hi, so..what can I get you today?" gazing at those mesmerizing midnight eyes
"I'll have a regular brew if you don't mind.." winking at me yet again, as I felt Monica handing me the coffee, I took it from her and placed it at the counter atop with a creamer and sugar.
He leaned on the counter, our nose almost touching "So..what time do you get off today?" his voice sending chills down my spine
"s….se…seven…" I statured as my eyes grew wide in shock. He smelled like peppermint and I swear I could taste his breath too.
Straightening himself, grabbing his coffee "I'll see you at seven then.. Miss Grey.." giving me his thousand watt smile, leaving another calling card behind. I took the card and had a look on what it said, instead of a business card though, it simply had a rather decent script of a restaurant about two blocks away from my apartment.
My shift ended a little bit earlier than expected, and I took the time to go home to my crummy old apartment, take a good warm shower and find a decent dress.
Putting a red simple cocktail dress aside, wrapped in a robe, I had about an hour for myself before my date, and I spent it with the book in my hands. Opening to the last page from where I left off, and when I flip the page, expecting it to be blank. Letters started scribbling by themselves, making me gasp in surprise as I eagerly read.
February 14
I woke up with a rush of excitement, today was valentines day, and could not help but wonder what my sweet lover has planned for the day.
And indeed he surprised me, as I came down for breakfast with my mother. I heard voices, distant laughter from across the hallways towards the kitchen.
I was not rather fond of cooking like my mother, but it was also not often that I hear strangers enjoying the kitchen. So, out of my sweet curiosity I turned away from the dining halls and tiptoed towards the kitchen.
The door swung open with a cricking as it hit the wall with a mute thud. There I found Jev, my fiancé with my mother, wearing an apron and chopping tomatoes.
"what in the world is going on in here..?" was the best thing my mouth had to say for me.
My mother turned around and beamed at me " Oh..darling, you're awake.. Young Jev here was showing me how to make Italian spaghetti…" grabbing hold of a wooden spoon filled with red sauce, she held it towards me, right at my nose really. " have a taste dear, Jev made this… and quite a fine cook your husband will be.. " winking at Jev making him chuckle in humour.
"it's an honour to have such great complements from my future in-law…" smiling at my mother, as I dipped a finger on the spoon to have a taste of the red sauce.
It was divine; I did not know how a simple recipe would taste absolutely splendid.
After that sweet taste of cooking, I did not have it in me to even tease his womanly skills in the kitchen. In my eyes, he was a Greek god, a gift from heaven in true forms of perfection, and it only made me fall in love even more.
And what I fine morning it was, having to share breakfast with my love across the table, his eyes never leaving mine. I was happy, content in what the day had given me….
To my oddest surprise, the entry ended there…
'WHAT?!'
What happen?! As I practically threw the book from across the room, slamming into my fading wallpapers and fell with a thud on the floor.
Jev;
Page after page of distant memories, some vivid as if it was just yesterday, and some too painful for my heart to bear, as I crumpled yet another paper, before the inks could fade into nothing, this was wrong.
What I was doing was not how I planned to tell her the truth, the past of my sweet love escapades with her ' reincarnations'. If I tell her anymore, I would loose her again, and I cannot bear another century of loneliness, pain and devouring guilt. Losing her again and again, see her fade away in death.
It was not tolerable anymore, I've had enough of this wicked curse of love, and yet, I cannot tell her everything, she had to remember on her own. Which she was suppose to be after the Valentine ball story. But then, I did not feel any sort of pull yet.
In her other life, everytime she remembered, I was naturally drawn to her. Without even my help, if she remembered anything about me, our past, we would unite as if livng back in 1980. But this was different, I've already revealed too much.. Why then was she not responding?
If only my existence wasn't such a curse!
For goodness sake I am the angel of love! Why can't I have my own happiness, my own love? I spent my entire existence helping people find their true love, their perfect match. I accidentally found mine and now I live in eternal suffering.
I sigh in frustration as I tag at the locks of my messed up hair. Sitting in the dim light of my condo, I've already stayed too long. They were going to send them after me…
But I had to see her, I had to find a cure. If falling from heaven was what it takes, then so be it. Let the world know, that cupid fell in love with a mortal…
…I love her…
